Retro Achievement List: Killer Instinct

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Previously on Retro Achievement List:

We here at Nerd Rating love achievements and trophies. We are admitted whores for them, but when you think about it, the practice of gamerscores is only seven years old with the introduction of the Xbox 360. We have 30 years of backlogged video games that need to be updated! So that is what we are venturing to do. Our new feature called Retro Achievement List will look back at games of the past and give them a set of achievements to strive for even if they may not seem serious.

We now take on Rare’s combo-based classic fighter Killer Instinct. Let’s hit this game with an ultra combo.

Achievement Unlocked:

 

*Achievement #1

KI 1

Fight 20 matches with Spinal without making a single boner/penis joke.

*Achievement #2

KI 2

When you are about to lose, tell your friend he can do his Ultra Combo on you, then as he starts, begin to fight back.

*Achievement #3

KI 3

When fighting against Chief Thunder, throw pieces of wadded up paper at the screen and tell him to do something about it.

*Achievement #4

KI 4

After completing a two hour session with TJ Combo, give into the urge to watch Dolemite followed by I’m Gonna Git You Sucka.

*Achievement #5

KI 5

Using Sabrewulf in a two-player game, continually sing Hungry Like The Wolf until your opponent gives up or tries to assault you.

*Achievement #6

KI 6

Invite someone over that you know has only played Killer Instinct on SNES to play Killer Instinct Gold on your Nintendo 64. You feed off of their jealousy like a douche sponge.

*Achievement #7

KI 7

When a friend begins to ask why Tusk can reign down meteors on you ask why he is questioning logic in a game with a pirate skeleton, werewolf and two-headed demon with a spiked wooden dildo.

*Achievement #8

KI 8

Refuse to play as Orchid in Killer Instinct 2 because you think they made her look like a crack whore with daddy issues.

*Achievement #9

KI 9

Wrapping your 300 lb. naked body in tin foil for a Fulgore costume makes you the ultimate KI fan despite the neighbors insistence you are mentally handicapped.

*Achievement #10

KI 10

Realize that 70% of the reason you pre-ordered a $500 Xbox One was for the new Killer Instinct. Cry yourself to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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