Holy Sweet Baby Jesus do I want Rambo: The Video Game.
Why?
After watching the trailer you may begin to think I have lost my ability for cognitive thought and you may not be far off from the truth, but dammit, as bad as this game looks I want to play this. This game that looks like it was developed eight years ago and gives Rambo the most insanely wonderful, yet sh**y hair ever put in code.
I can hear your judgmental thoughts and I am fine with it. We all love some sh**. Why did I pay money to go see The Scorpion King in theaters? Hell, I don’t know, but I did.
In the early hours between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in 1998, I awoke as usual and snuck upstairs to peer at what Santa had left under the tree, careful not to wake my grandfather as he slept and “kept watch” on the couch. As I crept back to my room in the basement from my recon, I felt a twinge of disappointment; my most anticipated gift was nowhere to be seen. I knew Santa and his parental helpers should be aware of what I had wanted, since I hadn’t shut up about it for months after reading about it in OPM (or maybe PSM?). As I crawled back into bed, though, a glint of plastic caught my eye next to my Playstation. Sitting there, as they sit now not five feet from me, were Metal Gear Solid and the official strategy guide. I managed not to open it up and start playing immediately, but only just barely.
I like telling that story, and I’ve always been grateful to whoever decided to put that particular gift directly in my room, as it was a unique start to what I can only describe as my biggest love affair with gaming. I mean, I had always liked games, and had been slowly drawn to more complex and story-driven titles, but MGS was a total game change, and to this day I will name it as my favorite game of all time without a moment’s hesitation. I was thrilled when the sequel was announced, and as wounded as anyone by the end result, to the point where I waited to pick up MGS 3 until months after its release. Thankfully, it signaled a return to form along with our first look and Big Boss’s past, and even I will admit that it’s probably the best storyline in the series.
Metal Gear Solid 4 was the entire reason I bought a PS3, to the point that I actually didn’t buy one until that launch bundle came out; and while I’ll admit that it has flashes of MGS-2-level pomposity, the finale of Solid Snake’s tale was a sight to behold. I’ll admit that the series kind of faded from my mind after that, since Hideo Kojima himself had claimed he was done exploring that universe. The trailer for “Metal Gear Rising” caught my eye, at first, but my interest faded as Kojima distanced himself from the project, and I honestly think I made the right choice there…
The announcement of “Ground Zeroes” got my attention, and that first trailer had me enthralled with its Kojima-only levels of intrigue. Of course, watching this past year’s VGAs stirred up all those same feelings when the trailer for “The Phantom Pain” kicked things off. My very first thought was “That looks a lot like Big Boss,” and by a few hours later my suspicions were all but confirmed that a new MGS was in the works. At this point, of course, Metal Gear Solid V has been revealed in all of its open-world glory, and I’m super excited to get another Big Boss tale.
About two months ago, Scott put up his article about a little thing called the Metal Gear Solid Legacy Collection, and my friends can confirm: I lost my shit. The mere thought of that much MGS in one package kind of undid me, and the news that it would be released ON MY BIRTHDAY made me nigh ravenous. Thankfully, my kick-ass younger brother confirmed that he would be getting it for me, and I managed to reign in my excitement for a few weeks.
UNTIL NOW! I finally have the Legacy Collection in my hands, and it’s awesome, and I’ll talk all about it, but that’s not actually the point of this post! This post is about an idea that I hatched when the Legacy Collection was announced, and mulled over with friends until it became the title you read above: The Tactical Espionage Analysis project. You see, I’ve spent a lot of time with Metal Gear over the years, and I think the launch of this collection is the perfect time to go back through and take a long, hard look at “why.” Of course, I get to play through my favorite games ever in the process, so everyone wins!
My plan is to start at the very beginning with Metal Gear (which is awesomely included with the HD and Legacy Collections) and follow Snake, Big Boss, et al down whatever paths they may lead me. I’ve spent a long time gathering resources, and I think I have what it takes to tackle this objective. My next post will look at what’s included in the Legacy set, and from there I hope top proceed as follows:
Metal Gear / Metal Gear 2
Metal Gear Solid / MGS: The Twin Snakes
Metal Gear Solid 2
Metal Gear Solid 3
Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker
Metal Gear Solid 4
Metal Gear Solid Graphic Novel / Motion Comic
Metal Gear Solid Saga Volumes 1 & 2
The graphic novel was done by Ashley Wood and is based on MGS / MGS 2, and Legacy includes fully-voiced motion comics of both stories that run about two hours each. MGS Saga consists of two bonus DVDs that were available with the launch of MGS 4 and Peace Walker, and contains a large number of supplemental materials.
Twenty-five years of gaming history is laid out before me, and I truly hope I can bring at least some enjoyment to you as I work my way through it. For now, I’ll leave you with some pictures of my credentials for this task.
We here at Nerd Rating love achievements and trophies. We are admitted whores for them, but when you think about it, the practice of gamerscores is only seven years old with the introduction of the Xbox 360. We have 30 years of backlogged video games that need to be updated! So that is what we are venturing to do. Our new feature called Retro Achievement List will look back at games of the past and give them a set of achievements to strive for even if they may not seem serious.
We now take on Rare’s combo-based classic fighter Killer Instinct. Let’s hit this game with an ultra combo.
Achievement Unlocked:
*Achievement #1
Fight 20 matches with Spinal without making a single boner/penis joke.
*Achievement #2
When you are about to lose, tell your friend he can do his Ultra Combo on you, then as he starts, begin to fight back.
*Achievement #3
When fighting against Chief Thunder, throw pieces of wadded up paper at the screen and tell him to do something about it.
*Achievement #4
After completing a two hour session with TJ Combo, give into the urge to watch Dolemite followed by I’m Gonna Git You Sucka.
*Achievement #5
Using Sabrewulf in a two-player game, continually sing Hungry Like The Wolf until your opponent gives up or tries to assault you.
*Achievement #6
Invite someone over that you know has only played Killer Instinct on SNES to play Killer Instinct Gold on your Nintendo 64. You feed off of their jealousy like a douche sponge.
*Achievement #7
When a friend begins to ask why Tusk can reign down meteors on you ask why he is questioning logic in a game with a pirate skeleton, werewolf and two-headed demon with a spiked wooden dildo.
*Achievement #8
Refuse to play as Orchid in Killer Instinct 2 because you think they made her look like a crack whore with daddy issues.
*Achievement #9
Wrapping your 300 lb. naked body in tin foil for a Fulgore costume makes you the ultimate KI fan despite the neighbors insistence you are mentally handicapped.
*Achievement #10
Realize that 70% of the reason you pre-ordered a $500 Xbox One was for the new Killer Instinct. Cry yourself to sleep.
Alright Assassin’s Creed. You and I have a checkered history. You were great in the first two games then it became hard to spend as much time with you anymore. You just couldn’t change. Like a lazy lover I kept coming back and expecting to be wowed and left disappointed. Then you put on a shiny new dress and got some plastic surgery and said you were a changed person with AC3 and I was excited once again and dammit if you didn’t do the exact…same…thing to me.
I’m done. That’s it. No more!
Not even you trying to do your best Jack Sparrow and becoming a pirate can sway me. I have seen your naval battles before, but I can’t justify $60 on you.
Sooo what you doing this fall? You free to hang out a bit? I know we’ve had rough times babe, but we can give it a go.
Entertainment Weekly’s new issue this week is their yearly Comic-Con issue and the cover gives us our first look at the fully-powered Electro played by Jamie Foxx. There have been photos of Foxx on set in make-up, but this is the first look we are getting with him all CGI’d up.
I like the look so far except for the outfit which may be a little much, but this is a comic movie so I can get past it. Now we just need to see what Paul Giamatti will look like when he is full-on Rhino.
This fall will see the release of [amazon_link id=”B00DBCAT3W” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Fable Anniversary[/amazon_link], an HD remake of the first game in Peter Molyneux’s series about choice and consequence in the land of Albion.
Lionhead Studios has already created the achievement list for the re-release except for one. The one that may come from your own brain.
That’s right, the studio is letting fans enter their own ideas for an achievement to be featured in Fable Anniversary. All you have to do is head over to the Lionhead Studios forums, read the rules and get your creative juices flowing. Be warned! There are already a lot of good ones so bring your A-game.
At some point in the past year or so, Beth* presented me with a paperback novel called The Mongoliad: Book One. She had gotten in on an Amazon sale for next to nothing; it caught her attention because she recognized Neal Stephenson’s name from other works on my bookshelf. I didn’t actually get around to reading it, largely because I am not a fan of starting trilogies without being able to finish them shortly thereafter.
I kept an eye on the release dates for the next two books, but the series kind of slipped my mind until I was going thru my Amazon wishlists a few months back and came across the fact that all three volumes had been released; there were also numerous Kindle-exclusive short stories that tied in to what was now called the “Foreworld Saga.” Furthermore, special hardcover editions of each Mongoliad book had been released which included an additional short story and illustrations by the amazing [amazon_link id=”1401238629″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Mike Grell[/amazon_link].
A little more digging revealed that the entire series is a kind of experiment in collaboration and multi-media storytelling started by Stephenson; he was displeased with the authenticity of his fight scenes in another series, and so wanted to team with other authors and martial arts enthusiasts to create a series with realistic melee combat and military engagements.
Beth was awesome enough to get me the hardcover editions as an anniversary present, on the condition that I actually start reading them and review them here on the site. I recently wrapped up the first volume, which was comprised of the main novel and a short story called “Sinner” that serves as a kind of prologue.
The story takes place in an alternate-history version of the 13th century, and the authors have done a great job of researching the time period before using it to their own ends: Between the crusades and infighting, most of Europe has been left open to potential invasion by the descendants of Genghis Khan, and dark forces work unseen to bring more chaos to the world. Christendom’s last hopes reside with the Ordo Militum Vindicis Intactae (Knights of the Virgin Defender) a brotherhood of warrior-scholars who embark on a suicide mission to stop the Mongol horde.
The story is told from the perspective of numerous dialogue characters, each one written by a different author, and spanning several sides of the conflict. In addition to members of the Order, there is the mysterious young woman serving as their guide; a Mongol warrior sent into the fray of the khans’ courts; the Chinese slave woman who has been assigned to teaching him politics; and two warriors assigned to fight against the Order in a tournament for one of the khans.
The story being told is not groundbreaking, but is full of enough adventure and intrigue to keep things rolling along. I wouldn’t say that I disliked any of the dialogue characters, but I definitely had my favorites, such as Gansukh, the “Mongol of the Steppes in a Khan’s Court.” The initial sense of frustration he feels at his situation results in a genuine payoff as he learns how to play the political games of the palace regulars. Unfortunately, my favorite character isn’t introduced until the third act, and only gets two dialogue sections before the book ends.
That storyline, like almost every major plot point, goes unresolved when the book just kind of ends before anything gets wrapped up. While I understand that this is a trilogy, it started as a serialized set of stories, and the ending is the only time that really created an issue for me. The final dialogue segments for most characters don’t even have the panache of a good cliffhanger; it just feels like the collaborators went “Well that’s a good spot to leave off at before the next book.” While I certainly understand not wanting to make the first volume too long just to wrap up a few loose ends, the third volume is massive compared to the first two; I can’t help but wonder if a better balance of material could have been struck.
I’d also like to point out that my genuine interest in all of the characters does not extend to all of the authors involved in creating them; none of the collaborators are bad writers, but there is a distinct lack of polish to some of the sections. There is also the issue of multiple writers presenting their own version of the same characters, and the resulting viewpoints don’t always match up. Fans of any franchise that has an “expanded universe” involving novels written by multiple authors will be in familiar territory. The novel doesn’t suffer too much overall, but it was annoying to see an interesting character from one section be presented blandly in another.
Characters and plot aside, no good crusade-era adventure story would be worth it without some action scenes, especially when the entire project was started out of one author’s desire to write better combat. I can confirm that the Mongoliad serves up plenty of sword, shield and spear action, but there’s a reason Bruce Lee’s movies had a bigger audience than his technical demonstrations. To the right reader, I’m sure the novel’s action scenes read fluidly and evoke a sense of appreciation; for me, the amount of time spent trying to figure out the descriptions destroyed any sense of tension or urgency in the fights. In many cases, the dialogue between characters is sharper than any of the swords they’re wielding, and often has higher stakes.
The last thing I’d like to address is the short story “Sinner” that takes place before the novel, which introduces us to the Order and sets the tone of the Foreworld universe for new readers. I have a strange complaint, in that I found this story to be more compelling than the rest of the book. Perhaps it benefits from being a shorter, more concise piece that was written by a single author; that doesn’t change the fact that I would have rather read an extended version of this than the novel I ended up with.
The short still involves the Order – two knights named Andreas and Raphael, who are characters that appear in the larger work – but it also contains a fair amount of supernatural elements as well. I was therefore surprised when the novel itself only hinted at fantastical happenings; perhaps the next two books will shed more light on the subject. We also get a better grasp of the characters involved than we do in the larger work, with the exception of possibly Gansukh. Until I read the next novel, “Sinner” remains the best part of this work, in my opinion.
*= the significant other
[amazon_link id=”1612182364″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]The Mongoliad: Book One can be purchased on Amazon for only $7.99[/amazon_link]
We have known some of the key casting for Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy for a few months now. Parks and Recreation’s Chris Pratt would be Peter Quill aka The Star Lord, ex-WWE wrestler Dave Bautista would go green for Drax, Zoe Saldana takes on another huge sci-fi movie as Gamora and The Walking Dead’s Michael Rooker would be Yondu.
There were still big names cast in the film that had no characters attached including the likes of Benicio Del Toro and Glenn Close, but now it seems that many different outlets are saying that del Toro will play The Collector and Close will be a Nova Corps supervisor that will be Rhomann Dey’s (John C. Reilly) superior.
Take a look at the entire known cast below:
Chris Pratt- Peter Quill/ The Star-Lord
Zoe Saldana- Gamora
Dave Bautista- Drax the Destroyer
Michael Rooker- Yondu
John C. Reilly- Rhomann Dey
Benicio Del Toro- The Collector
Karen Gillan- Nebula
Lee Pace- Ronan the Accuser
Glenn Close- Unnamed Nova Corp supervisor
Also here is a little Eater egg for you Parks and Rec fans out there. Chris Pratt put a picture on his Instagram yesterday showing how his work is going on getting in shape for the role.
Andy Dwyer is getting ripped!
Guardians of the Galaxy releases on August 1, 2014.
Now this is a pleasant surprise that has made my day. The first teaser poster for Captain America: The Winter Solider has been released by Marvel just before San Diego Comic-Con. Cap’s shield has seen better days with the paint peeling off and looking distressed.
Marvel will have a big presence at the SDCC next week with Captain America, Thor: The Dark World, Guardians of the Galaxy and maybe more secrets revealed.
Captain America: The Winter Soldier releases on April 4, 2014.