Nerd Rating

Category: Video Games

  • Killzone: Mercenary Hates Male Genitalia

    One of the reasons to love your Vita right now, besides the fact that Sony is giving you a long list of free or cheap games on PS Plus, is Killzone: Mercenary. The guys at Guerrilla are really trying to make sure that this is the best looking Vita game and that it will be the first quality shooter on the console.

    This new developer video shows how the team is using the power of the handheld to bring a true console experience. The game looks decidedly Killzone which is to say dark and dystopian, but it also is stunning considering it is on a handheld.

    The reason for the title?

    Watching the video you see how simple touch screen swipes will handle the melee kills in the game and one of these being you straight up stabbing guys….in the dick. Yeah, I may hate my enemy, but come on, do you really need to stab them in the dick?

    Oh, we do?

    OK, well let’s get to some dick stabbing!

    [amazon_link id=”B0050SWYTC” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Killzone: Mercenary[/amazon_link] releases on September 17th.

     

  • Tomb Raider Has 1 Million Playing Already

    Photo courtesy stuff.co.nz
    Photo courtesy stuff.co.nz

    It appears that [amazon_link id=”B004FS8LYK” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Tomb Raider[/amazon_link] is officially a hit.

    Crystal Dynamics has announced that one million people were playing Lara Croft’s newest adventure only two days after launch. I am sure this gives a sigh of relief to the development team that worked so hard on this game for over three years.

    I am going through Tomb Raider now and can say, without a doubt, that it was well worth the wait. Our review will be coming soon.

     

  • Why Is Baird The Lead In Gears Of War: Judgment?

    Photo courtesy softpedia.com
    Photo courtesy softpedia.com

    Let’s face it, chicks dig the Baird. That is the reason there is a freaking shirt dedicated to that saying floating around. For folks such as myself, I am wholly prepared for a full game filled with Baird’s unique….OK he is a smart ass, but that is his appeal to me. I can see how he could rub some people the wrong way and some people may not want to play [amazon_link id=”B002I0H2AG” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Gears of War: Judgment[/amazon_link] because of that.

    Jim Brown, lead level designer at People Can Fly has explained in a recent interview exactly why we are getting a whole bunch of Baird.

    “He was an interesting character. He’s actually kind of divisive. Most players really, really like him, but there were a couple that were like, ‘Man that’s guy’s just an asshole’. But to me that means he’s interesting. That means that there’s a real story there to tell.”

    Gears fans should not have a problem at all with the choice. I mean we are getting more Gears. Suck it complainers.

    Gears of War: Judgment releases on March 19th.

  • Far Cry 3 Gets A Very Helpful Patch

    Photo courtesy gameinformer.com
    Photo courtesy gameinformer.com

    I know what you are wondering.

    I am done with Far Cry 3 and sure I have a metric sh** ton of relics to find and perhaps some rare animals to track down, but I am a tatted up frat douche that also happens to be a killing machine. For me to be this machine of killing…..I need to kill….like humans.

    Well relief is on the way you sadistic bastards because a new patch for Far Cry 3 is out that not only gives you a new harder difficulty (Master), it also allows you to go into the options and reset all the outposts in the game letting you have more murderous fun. Because let’s face it, driving around finding relics and acting like you “accidentally” hit that dude walking on the side of the road only gets you so far.

    [amazon_link id=”B0050SXX88″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Far Cry 3[/amazon_link] received a 9.5 review from yours truly.

  • Deadpool Introduces His Game’s New Trailer

    Photo courtesy forbes.com
    Photo courtesy forbes.com

    Everyone’s favorite Marvel multi-personality anti-hero is back and he is showing off some more footage from his new game brilliantly titled Deadpool. The game is being developed by High Moon Studios and already seems to have the merc’s signature mouth down to a science. Now let’s just hope the controls and gunplay can live up to fan’s expectations.

    There are many things to like about this trailer and one thing to love and you will realize it when I type the next sentence.

    Deadpool motorboats Cable’s massively Rob Liefeld-like man boobs.

    Go and watch to your heart’s content.

    Deadpool releases this summer for Playstation 3 and Xbox 360.

  • PETA Has A Problem With Whaling In Assassin’s Creed IV

    Photo courtesy venturebeat.com
    Photo courtesy venturebeat.com

    PETA has spoken out against the act of whaling in Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag. In an interview with Polygon, Matt Bruce, PETA’s Bullsh** Job Title  International Grassroots Campaigns spokesperson said this about the virtual portrayal of whaling.

    “There are so many creative minds at Ubisoft that are involved with the Assassin’s Creed series, that we find it really disappointing that they feel the need to glorify whaling. PETA encourages video game companies to create games that celebrate animals, not games that promote hurting and killing them.”

    He went on to tell what we as gamers will specifically feel when this senseless killing of a fake, virtual creature happens.

    “In Assassin’s Creed 4, you get ahead by killing. Joe Shmoe who plays this game in his mother’s basement in the safety and comfort of his home will feel a sense of accomplishment by killing this whale.”

    If you want to read Ubisoft’s response to PETA just hit the link above for the entire article. Here is mine.

    Will I feel a sense of accomplishment for killing a whale in Assassin’s Creed IV? You’re damn right I will! If there was an achievement for killing 30 whales and selling their fat to Indians for a bunch of blankets and native girls to have on my pirate ship, then get ready, cause I am about to get 30 more points added to my gamerscore!!!

    Or better yet I want to be able to hang their blubbery heads on the front of my ship as an announcement to all the other virtual whales swimming in the virtual sea of this VIDEO GAME that I am a pirate not to be f&!%* with.

    LET’S KILL SOME WHALES!!!!! (fake ones I mean)

     

  • More Far Cry May Be Here Sooner Than Expected

    Photo far-cry.ubi.com
    Photo far-cry.ubi.com

    Far Cry 3 was one of the big surprises last year. It was released in a busy holiday season, but great games will find their way to the forefront and has shipped 4.5 million copies since its December release. We gave the game a stellar 9.5 review and could not recommend it higher.

    Now Ubisoft may be releasing more Far Cry sooner rather than later. In an interview with Joystiq, Far Cry 3 head writer Jeffrey Yohalem gave a bit of cryptic information that we may not be too far of from the return of last year’s best shooter.

    “Yes, I’m working on something now that will be surprising, I think, when it’s announced. But it definitely is a ‘strike while the iron’s hot’ thing, and we’ll see.”

    It sounds like we may be getting an add-on to Far Cry 3 unless Ubisoft has an ace up their sleeve and have already begun development of the fourth entry in the franchise.

    More please.

  • Here Is The RetroN 4. Now You’re Playing With Power…And A Lot Of Holes

    Photo courtesy polygon.com
    Photo courtesy polygon.com

    Have a look at this mixture of childhood dreams and Dr. Frankenstein engineering. This is the RetroN 4 which looks like Nintendo and Sega got together one night over some drinks and a carton of Marlboros and let nature run its course.

    This machine can play NES, SNES, Genesis and Game Boy Advanced cartridges and keep you re-living the lost memories of your youth without having to search around in your parent’s storage room for the consoles you told them to take care of, but they just stuffed them in a box next to your old baseball trophies and dad’s extra two cycle oil.

    I digress.

    Hyperkin will be showing off the RetroN 4 at the Midwest Gaming classic trade show on March 23rd. It comes two controller ports per system and a bluetooth controller that will allow you to customize your controls according to the system you are playing. An HDMI output makes for easy connection.

    No release date has been given for the RetroN 4.

  • TMNT Come ‘Out Of The Shadows’ This Summer

    Photo courtesy geektyrant.com
    Photo courtesy geektyrant.com

    One of the greatest days of my childhood was the day that I got Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Arcade Game for my NES. After pumping quarter after quarter of my mother’s hard earned money in the cabinet version, the mere fact I could spend as much time as I wanted at home bashing the Foot Clan to my heart’s content is one of those moments that make a childhood.

    Now Activision may be trying to recapture a bit of that innocence, before life took over and showed me how jaded and cynical I should be, with the release of TMNT: Out of the Shadows. All that has been released is the short trailer below, but it looks like a straight up brawler in the vein of The Arcade Game and starring the newest incarnation of TMNT seen on Nickelodeon. Get the Part Wagon ready!

    TMNT: Out of the Shadows releases this summer on Playstation Network and Xbox Live.

    http://youtu.be/FbIjCxilbKU

  • Tomb Raider Movie Will Closely Resemble New Game

    Photo courtesy thealistdaily.com
    Photo courtesy thealistdaily.com

    The new [amazon_link id=”B004FS8LYK” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Tomb Raider[/amazon_link] releasing today on Playstation 3, Xbox 360 and PC isn’t the only reboot of Lara Croft happening. GK Films purchased the rights to produce a new movie based on the game heroine and they are already hard at work with Crystal Dynamics on bringing Lara back to the big screen.

    Crystal Dynamics studio head Darrell Gallagher talked about their relationship with GK Films and how the new Tomb Raider game is influencing the production:

    “They are working from this new take that we’ve given them. It’s a good partnership. We’re seeing the challenges through the same lens.

    It was important for both of us to have a cohesive version of the franchise. We didn’t want to see a film version that was a continuation of the old Tomb Raider films.”

    I think we just all breathed a sigh of relief. A more, gritty version of Lara, who is still early in her development as a adventurer, should make for a much better adventure than the previous two that starred Angelina Jolie when she was still super hot and before all the stealing adoption of African children.

    I will go ahead and nominate Camilla Luddington, who portrayed Lara’s digital version in the Tomb Raider game.

    CamillaLuddington2

    Yeah, I would pay ten bucks to watch her for 90 minutes. Then go see a movie with her in it.