Category: Video Games

  • Let’s Rank The Nintendo Amiibo Figures

    I am so excited for Nintendo’s Amiibo figures to release that it doesn’t really matter how I am going to use them. Train them in Smash? Open up new items in Mario Kart? Sit on my shelves and look really pretty?

    OK, I will be honest, it is going to be the last one mostly. You think I care about spending money to have pieces of plastic sit on my shelf? You don’t even know.

    There are 18 Amiibo figures releasing by the end of the year, here they are in order of awesomeness.*

    * Awesomeness will vary from person to person determined by childhood memories and/or trauma.

    1. Samus

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    Look at this thing. Why would it NOT be number one on this list?

    2. Link

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    Is he held up by a shaft of magical yellow pee with a skirt and leggings? Yep, that’s how I want it.

    3. Fox McCloud

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    I imagine this figure as Fox running away from a very awkward conversation with Slippy about his confusing sexual thoughts.

    4. Captain Falcon

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    While the shaft placement (I went there) is too funny, it’s a fucking Captain Falcon figure!

    5. Pit

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    Only Nintendo can make metrosexual angels badass.

    6 Mario

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    It is not the Mario shooting fireballs out of his nose look we grew up with. Going with a more “hadouken” this fireball in your face.

    7. Zelda

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    I think I will place this one beside Captain Falcon to give the illusion she is the holder for him kicking a giant ass football.

    8. Little Mac

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    Pair it with Peach for your own Nintendo version of “Ray Rice Elevator Punch-Out”.

    9. Wii Fit Trainer

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    If you ask me why this is so high on my list be prepared for the answer you don’t want to hear.

    10. Luigi

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    While Mario gets to shoot a fireball, little bro is stuck doing Olympic luge or the world’s longest plank.

    11. Marth

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    I think this will be the hardest figure to find because of collector a-holes like me buying them and Nintendo not making as many as other characters.

    12. Yoshi

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    Either he is power walking or recreating the cover to Abbey Road. Both make me happy.

    13.Donkey Kong

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    Why there is not a barrel with this? I have no idea.

    14. Peach

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    Looks like she is showing off a prize on Price is Right. Put her next to another toy to make it seem more important.

    15 Kirby

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    No mad face or mouth full of stuff. Just sitting there like a fat ass. This should be higher on my list since it is the most like me.

    16. Diddy Kong

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    The Scrappy-Doo of Nintendo. Will get this if there is a Buy One, Get One sale and he is the only one left after the one I want.

    17. Villager

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    Stop waving! Why are you so damn happy?! I will burn your village to the ground.

    18. Pikachu

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    Admittedly, I am not a Pokemon fan. I love everything Nintendo, but this never got to me. I know enough to know there are a shit ton of them and if Nintendo is smart they will make Amiibos of all 2,000 of them so parents can go bankrupt.

     

  • Far Cry 4 Story Trailer Is All About Choice

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    In a few short weeks we will finally get our hands on Far Cry 4. To say that we are excited is an understatement. Far Cry 3 was our 2012 Game of the Year for good reason and now we are ready to get lost in the frosty, mountainous terrain of Kyrat.

    To get you ready even more, here is the story trailer which plays up that you will have choices to make about which side you will take to help your people. Let’s hope there is a third option to join Pagan Min, just because we are dickheads like that.

  • “I’m The Smart One.” Crimes And Punishments: Sherlock Holmes Review

    Developer Frogwares has been producing Sherlock Holmes games since 2002 for the PC, PS3, Xbox, DS and 3DS. I have not played any of them, not because of any negative reaction, but rather, because I admit my ignorance in not knowing about them (or not paying attention if I actually saw them). I decided to give their newest game in the series, Crime and Punishments, a try after seeing some preview videos earlier in the year.

    I am beyond pleased that I did.

    Crimes and Punishments takes Sherlock and Dr. Watson through six cases of varying circumstances. One involved a murder complete with an archaeologist killed in a locked steam bath with clues leading you into secret catacombs in search of an ancient weapon while another has you investigating the disappearance of a train before your very eyes. Part of the fun is that the beginning of each new case brought a new “ what will this adventure bring” feeling to it.

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    The character of Sherlock is a bit in the middle of well known performances. Not quite as eccentric as Cumberbatch, yet not indomitable like Rathbone. I can’t say as much for Watson, who is very much less a memorable character. Funny how I can learn to like different versions of Sherlock, yet Martin Freeman has ruined me on Dr. Watson. He is merely there for the ride and beyond a few short sequences where you swap to play as him, he could have been omitted from the game and I would not have noticed.

    Most of Crime and Punishments is a point and click adventure at its core. You will go around a myriad of different locales, a garden-centric county cabin, Roman baths, multiple trips to Scotland Yard and your famous home at 221B Baker Street, walk around collecting clues trying to piece together the events that led to the crime. Sherlock has many tried and true methods at his disposal including a special vision ability that can see things ordinary eyes can not as well as piece together previous events at your location when evidence has been found. It is nothing new, but helps in your gameplay as the world’s greatest detective.

    Two places the game really lets you live out your “virtual Cumberbatch” is with the character profile feature and Sherlock’s mind palace. Whenever Holmes interviews a suspect or victim you are prompted to inspect them while the camera goes over various parts of their body. You will learn of their intentions, way of life, even where they have been in the previous hours by the look of their clothes, facial features and more. It really is another mini-game in a game full of them, but it furthers the connection with you being Sherlock.

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    When you have enough clues you are prompted to enter Sherlock’s mind and see which clues fit together. This is well done by appearing as firing synapses in Sherlock’s brain. When you near the end of cases you must connect clues with suspects and must deduce who committed the crime and what their motivation was. You can easily accuse the wrong person, so be careful. There is an option at the end of every case to check your findings and see if you were right in your assumptions. If you are wrong you can go back into Sherlock’s mind palace and try another way, so there is really no way to lose. In a game like this, it is not necessary to always be right, but I have to be.

    If you are looking for a fast-paced action title, Crimes and Punishments will disappoint you thoroughly. If, however, you are wanting a search and find adventure and don’t mind lots of mini-games that are well used, give Sherlock a try. You will end up pleasantly surprised with the fix it gives in between the waiting for Season 4.

    Oh, the waiting.

  • Xbox One Gets $50 Price Drop For The Holidays

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    Looks like Microsoft isn’t playing around this holiday season. They have announced that starting November 2nd the console would see a $50 price drop including the newest bundles that include Assassin’s Creed: Unity, Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare and Sunset Overdrive.

    The Assassin’s Creed and Sunset Overdrive bundle will cost $349 while the Call of Duty bundle, with a 1TB hard drive, will be $449. The promotion goes until January 3, 2015.

    If you have been waiting for the right opportunity to pick up an Xbox One, this may be it. With Playstation 4 having a big sales lead on Xbox it will be interesting to see if Sony follows or decides to stay the course.

     

  • The Witcher 3 Opening Cinematic Really Hates Horses

    Well, this is certainly damn beautiful.

    Geralt is on the hunt for his former lover, Yennefer, in the opening cinematic for The Witcher 3. It is more of the amazing quality videos we have come to expect out of CD Projekt RED.

    The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt releases February 24, 2015.

  • Six Things About Super Smash Bros. For Wii U Before Nintendo Direct “50 Things”

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    Super Smash Bros. for Wii U is rapidly approaching its November 21st release date and Nintendo will be holding a Nintendo Direct on October 23rd at 5PM CST that will show 50 “must-see things” for the brawler.

    To give you a head start, here are six things we know about Super Smash Bros. for Wii U.

     1. I will be Villager from Animal Crossing and I will kick your ass.

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    2. There will be punching and kicking in the faces, asses and balls of your favorite childhood characters.

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    3. Multiple old-school arguments will arise when your friend beats you as Sonic and says “see, I told you Sega was better”.

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    4. A secret mode will be shown where if you lose to the Wii Fit trainer you have to get your Wii Fit pad out of the closet and do any exercise the game tells you before continuing.

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    5. When someone touches your special Gamecube controller without asking to play, you may assault their groinal regions at will.

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    6. This game should convince some to buy a Wii U. They will not because they have talked shit about the system for two years and can’t admit that it is really fun to have.

    fargo

     

  • Master Chief Needs A 20GB Day One Patch To Finish The Fight In Halo: MCC

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    Hope you weren’t planning on playing Halo: Master Chief Collection right away when you get home on November 11th. The game will need a day one patch that runs 20GB for features and multiplayer content. If you have an average internet connection you might as well hit install, go and watch Interstellar for a third time (that won’t be just me right?), get a rice bowl from Chipotle and head back home.

    Let’s face it, this shouldn’t be a surprise. There are four full Halo games with over 100 multiplayer maps and two disappointing campaign endings to redesign.

  • WWE 2K15 Season Pass Details

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    The Season Pass for WWE 2K15 will feature three new stories for the 2K Showcase and a host of new wrestlers and moves. Each will be individually priced or you can get the Season Pass for $24.99. Buying the Season Pass will also let you play as Paige, which is worth $25 for people like me. Sad people like me.

    Accelerator

    • Players will gain instant access to all unlockable content available in the game (excluding downloadable content).
    • The Accelerator will be available for a suggested price of $1.99.

    2K Showcase: One More Match

    • Story focused on the rivalry between WWE Superstars Randy Orton and Christian in 2011.
    • Playable WWE Superstars: Christian, Randy Orton, Edge, Mark Henry and Sheamus.
    • Playable arenas from 2011: SmackDown®, Extreme Rules®, Over the Limit® and Capitol Punishment®.
    • 2K Showcase: One More Match will be available for a suggested price of $9.99.

    2K Showcase: Hall of Pain

    • Story focused on top matches for WWE Superstar Mark Henry.
    • Playable WWE Superstars: Mark Henry, Big Show, Kane, Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso, Sheamus, The Great Khali, Randy Orton, Daniel Bryan and Ryback.
    • Playable arenas: SmackDown (2011), Vengeance® (2011) and WrestleMania® 29
    • 2K Showcase: Hall of Pain will be available for a suggested price of $9.99.

    2K Showcase: Path of the Warrior

    • Story focused on the career of WWE Hall of Famer Ultimate Warrior.[/b]
    • Playable WWE Hall of Famers: Ultimate Warrior, Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant and Sgt. Slaughter.
    • Playable WWE Legends: Honky Tonk Man, Rick Rude, Macho King and Colonel Mustafa.
    • Playable WWE Superstars: Undertaker and Hunter Hearst Helmsley.
    • Access to WWE Hall of Fame ring announcer Howard Finkel and WWE managers Jimmy Hart, Bobby Heenan, Paul Bearer, Sherri, Sid Justice and General Adnan.
    • Playable arenas: WrestleMania VI, VII and XII; SummerSlam® (1988, 1990 and 1991); Saturday Night’s Main Event XXIV and Madison Square Garden®.
    • 2K Showcase: Path of the Warrior will be available for a suggested price of $9.99.

    WCW Pack

    • Playable WCW Superstars: Fit Finlay, Lord Steven Regal, Bam Bam Bigelow, Diamond Dallas Page and Lex Luger.
    • The WCW Pack will be available for a suggested price of $7.99.

    NXT Arrival

    • Playable NXT Superstars: JBL, Adam Rose and The Ascension (Konnor and Victor).[/b]
    • Playable NXT Diva: Emma.
    • NXT Arrival will be available for a suggested price of $6.99.

    New Moves Pack

    • Moves Pack: More than 30 new moves, including an alternate version of Sister Abigail (performed from the ring corner and made popular by Bray Wyatt) and Multiple Gut Wrenches (made popular by Cesaro).
    • The New Moves Pack will be available for a suggested price of $3.99.
  • I Ran (So Far Away). Middle-Earth: Shadow Of Mordor Review

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    Discretion Is The Better Part Of…You Know

    I crouched down looking at the number of orcs occupying the valley below me. There were around seven, though that did not stop my arrogance.

    I can take them.

    I leapt down and began swinging my sword and countering attacks. I got this, I have played the Batman: Arkham series. The controls are close, especially the counter system. In my bloodlust I did not notice one of the orcs blow his horn and before I knew it I was surrounded by sixteen enemies, one of them being a captain that I was in no shape to fight. Still, my bravado got the best of me and kept fighting.

    Then, I died. The captain got me and he was promoted to a higher rank and became more powerful in orc society.

    This was my first thirty minutes with Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor.

    Lesson #1 of Shadow of Mordor: get use to dying. It will happen. A lot. Here is the catch. Dying is not something to get upset about or yell at your screen even though you know it was your fault. Shadow of Mordor actually becomes more fun once you die a few times. It also helps to run away.

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    Whoever kills you, as I said before, will move up in rank, become more powerful and even remember you when you find him again. I certainly know the perverse pleasure in hunting down the orc who ran you through with his blade. Even when you find him and reveal yourself, they will have a quip ready about how they must not have done a good enough job killing you before. Your enemies remember you just as you remember the names of the ones who have bested you.

    This is all thanks to Shadow of Mordor’s “nemesis system” which takes the future of gaming enemies to the next level. The orcs you fight have ambition, they want to be the best. There is a hierarchy at work and you are not the only one affecting it by killing captains and warchiefs. These orcs will have internal strife, planning their next move to move up the leadership ladder.

    Each captain will have his own sets of strengths and weaknesses that are not known to you until you find out intel on them either through random items on the map or hunting down an orc that has knowledge of that captain. Once you know that a certain captain is afraid of fire or is vulnerable to a charged headshot with your bow, you can plan out your attack. You can even send off orcs with death threats to their captains or warchiefs which raises their power level while also raising the percentage you will get an epic rune drop to put on your weapons. I never would have thought I would use as much strategy in a game that borrows so much from others.

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    Assassin’s Creed: Mordor Asylum

    Don’t worry Tolkien purists, the story of Shadow of Mordor fits quite nicely into the years in between The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. As Talion, a captain of Gondor, you begin the game watching your wife and son murdered in front of you before being killed yourself by The Black Hand of Sauron. Awakening in a shadow realm, you are joined by an elf wraith that has become attached to Talion and prevents him from dying. The wraith has amnesia and together you will search out the details of his past while hunting down the killers of your family.

    The game does a great job of connecting events in Tolkien’s universe in a believable way. I was worried going in that there would be some eye-rolling sequence of why Gollum has to be involved in the story, but it comes in a very natural way that made me enjoy the character again. Even when you find out the elven wraiths’ identity, you are left with an “ohhhh” moment that is satisfying.

    While some may knock Shadow of Mordor for taking aspects of Assassin’s Creed and the Batman: Arkham series, you can’t say they do not do it well. Traversing Mordor is a parkour affair along with climbing forge towers to activate fast travel to different parts of the map. Sound familiar? Likewise, combat is strictly Batman, if he had a longsword, bow and dagger and did not mind impaling and beheading anyone who dared crossed his path. It feels crisp and responsive just as in Rocksteady’s Arkham games which is a win, yet not a real 1 to 1 comparison.

    Of course, using these two games as your foundation comes with a few hiccups. You will encounter problems like latching onto walls when you are trying to escape in small spaces, jumping into the middle of an orc party when you meant to zipline on a rope across them as well as the good old Assassin’s Creed favorite of having trouble dropping from ledges.

    Likewise, combat, while working most of the time, won’t register your counters when big parties of orcs are around. To perform a combat execution (which is required to damage certain captains) you need to press two buttons at once. When you have a host of orcs surrounding you and you are trying to target a particular one, it becomes a toss up as to who will lose their head. These are not defining issues, just something you have to get past which is doable with how much fun I had with Shadow of Mordor.

    Luckily the makers knew when to change things up at the right time. Just when you think you have gotten a handle on the map of Mordor, you journey to another land that offers greener pastures (literally) which is a welcome change from the cold, dead rock edifices of Mordor. It gave me new energy to look around and learn a new place while enjoying the colored landscapes littered with ruined buildings.

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    Make Love, Not Warchiefs

    Mordor opens up even more when you fully open up your set of powers. When you learn the ability to control the orcs you dominate you can begin to play an epic game of political chess by having captains work their way to become a warchiefs bodyguard just to have them assassinate him and become your pawn that has his own army that will do your bidding. You can work your way to control every warchief, having an army that your enemies can not hope to defeat. I understand holding these powers for later on in the game for storytelling purposes, though I would have loved earlier access to try more machinations that my mind created.

    My video game history with Middle-Earth has been checkered to say the least. From Interplay’s The Lord of the Rings on SNES to The Third Age on Xbox, I have played it all. Hell, I even bought The Hobbit on Xbox in the early 2000’s. The one made by Sierra. Yeah, I have been burned plenty. Not here.

    You will spend well over 30 hours in Mordor if you want to find every trinket and complete side quests. None of it ever grew tiresome. Do you need to be a Tolkien fan to enjoy all the nuances and information in the appendices? It helps. Luckily all you need to enjoy Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor as a game is a love of well-crafted action with lively combat and a genuine feeling that you want something new in your enemies. It is the best game to ever use the Tolkien license. I would stake my finest batch of Old Toby on it.

     

     

  • WWE 2K15 Season Pass Announced

    WWE 2K15 will have a Season Pass as is standard for most games. This year’s title focuses on the greatest rivalries in wrestling and 2K wants to push that idea home by making you pay for more of them.

    Purchasing the $25 Season Pass will give you access to three more rivalries in 2K Showcase over three DLC releases. The game launches with two rivalries (HHH vs. HBK and CM Punk vs. John Cena). No news was given on who the DLC packs would involve or when they would release.

    $25 is a lot to ask for a Season Pass that just expands the story mode that should have been in the game to begin with. No mention was made if the DLC would involve new wrestlers not on the roster.

    Who is going to pick up the Season Pass for WWE 2K15? I may not…

     Wait…Paige is an “exclusive character” for getting the Season Pass?

    alwaysunny-surprise

     Who is going to pick up the Season Pass for WWE 2K15? Me. That’s who.

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