Nerd Rating

Category: Video Games

  • Retro Achievement List: Killer Instinct

    killer_instinct_logo

    Previously on Retro Achievement List:

    We here at Nerd Rating love achievements and trophies. We are admitted whores for them, but when you think about it, the practice of gamerscores is only seven years old with the introduction of the Xbox 360. We have 30 years of backlogged video games that need to be updated! So that is what we are venturing to do. Our new feature called Retro Achievement List will look back at games of the past and give them a set of achievements to strive for even if they may not seem serious.

    We now take on Rare’s combo-based classic fighter Killer Instinct. Let’s hit this game with an ultra combo.

    Achievement Unlocked:

     

    *Achievement #1

    KI 1

    Fight 20 matches with Spinal without making a single boner/penis joke.

    *Achievement #2

    KI 2

    When you are about to lose, tell your friend he can do his Ultra Combo on you, then as he starts, begin to fight back.

    *Achievement #3

    KI 3

    When fighting against Chief Thunder, throw pieces of wadded up paper at the screen and tell him to do something about it.

    *Achievement #4

    KI 4

    After completing a two hour session with TJ Combo, give into the urge to watch Dolemite followed by I’m Gonna Git You Sucka.

    *Achievement #5

    KI 5

    Using Sabrewulf in a two-player game, continually sing Hungry Like The Wolf until your opponent gives up or tries to assault you.

    *Achievement #6

    KI 6

    Invite someone over that you know has only played Killer Instinct on SNES to play Killer Instinct Gold on your Nintendo 64. You feed off of their jealousy like a douche sponge.

    *Achievement #7

    KI 7

    When a friend begins to ask why Tusk can reign down meteors on you ask why he is questioning logic in a game with a pirate skeleton, werewolf and two-headed demon with a spiked wooden dildo.

    *Achievement #8

    KI 8

    Refuse to play as Orchid in Killer Instinct 2 because you think they made her look like a crack whore with daddy issues.

    *Achievement #9

    KI 9

    Wrapping your 300 lb. naked body in tin foil for a Fulgore costume makes you the ultimate KI fan despite the neighbors insistence you are mentally handicapped.

    *Achievement #10

    KI 10

    Realize that 70% of the reason you pre-ordered a $500 Xbox One was for the new Killer Instinct. Cry yourself to sleep.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Assassin’s Creed IV Looks Insanely Fun. This Sounds Familiar.

    Photo courtesy computerandvideogames.com
    Photo courtesy computerandvideogames.com

    Alright Assassin’s Creed. You and I have a checkered history. You were great in the first two games then it became hard to spend as much time with you anymore. You just couldn’t change. Like a lazy lover I kept coming back and expecting to be wowed and left disappointed. Then you put on a shiny new dress and got some plastic surgery and said you were a changed person with AC3 and I was excited once again and dammit if you didn’t do the exact…same…thing to me.

    I’m done. That’s it. No more!

    Not even you trying to do your best Jack Sparrow and becoming a pirate can sway me. I have seen your naval battles before, but I can’t justify $60 on you.

    Sooo what you doing this fall? You free to hang out a bit? I know we’ve had rough times babe, but we can give it a go.

     

  • Fable Anniversary Will Have Fan Created Achievement

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    This fall will see the release of [amazon_link id=”B00DBCAT3W” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Fable Anniversary[/amazon_link], an HD remake of the first game in Peter Molyneux’s series about choice and consequence in the land of Albion.

    Lionhead Studios has already created the achievement list for the re-release except for one. The one that may come from your own brain.

    That’s right, the studio is letting fans enter their own ideas for an achievement to be featured in Fable Anniversary. All you have to do is head over to the Lionhead Studios forums, read the rules and get your creative juices flowing. Be warned! There are already a lot of good ones so bring your A-game.

    Fable Anniversary will release this fall.

  • Grand Theft Auto V Gameplay Trailer

    Photo courtesy cinemablend.com
    Photo courtesy cinemablend.com

    Here is the gameplay trailer for [amazon_link id=”B0050SXKU4″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Grand Theft Auto V[/amazon_link] and even if you are not a fan of the GTA series there is no way you can say that this doesn’t look ambitious as hell.

    The trailer gives you a great look at how the switching mechanic will work between the three protagonists allowing you to drop in at any time between missions and see what they are up to in their daily lives. Working in tandem during heists looks like it will be a fun new aspect as well as splitting the take where you can buy cars or even play the stock market. Rockstar looks like they have streamlined the HUD as well with a quick select wheel for weapons and a new focus on gunplay which was always such a huge part of GTA that was lacking.

    Grand Theft Auto V releases on September 17th.

  • The Last Of Us Sales Figures Released

    Photo courtesy ditigaltrends.com
    Photo courtesy ditigaltrends.com

    We were all hoping [amazon_link id=”B007CM0K86″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]The Last of Us[/amazon_link] would be a hit and Sony has confirmed that it indeed is just that.

    In the first three weeks of release the Naughty Dog title has sold 3.4 million copies which include digital download numbers from the Playstation Store. It has become the highest selling PS3 title of 2013 and should have no problem passing 5 million copies by year’s end.

    It is good to see such an amazing game with sales numbers like this and I am sure it is a matter of pride for Naughty Dog that it has been received so well.

  • Aliens: Colonial Marines Single-Player DLC Is On Its Way. Don’t Laugh.

    Photo courtesy penny-arcade.com
    Photo courtesy penny-arcade.com

    If you bought the Season Pass for [amazon_link id=”B005THAX5Q” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Aliens: Colonial Marines[/amazon_link] there is good news on the horizon. A new single-player DLC pack named “Stasis Interrupted” will be releasing for the game. No details have been given for what content will be included on the DLC, but rest assured, it can not possibly make the game any better.

    Aliens: Colonial Marines received a disappointing 4.5/10 score in our review back in February. If you still own this game and have the Season Pass I personally wished we made more money from the site so that I could refund you at least the $15 spent on the DLC.

    Even as I play through Borderlands 2, Gearbox still rubs me the wrong way when I think about this travesty of a game.

  • Is The Ultimate Warrior Returning To WWE Video Games?

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    2K Sports may be wanting you to tear down the cockpit door once again. Kotaku is reporting that the once loved, always scary former WWF Champion will be making his return to the video game world in [amazon_link id=”B00CMC6HCY” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]WWE 2K14[/amazon_link].

    Previously, The Ultimate Warrior was only available in Legends of WrestleMania and WWE All-Stars. This will mark his first appearance in any of the Smackdown games which date back to 2000. I, for one, am quite excited to relive the absolute batsh** insanity that The Ultimate Warrior brought to my childhood.

    WWE 2K14 will release on October 29th.

  • Ellie Sure Does Say Sh** A Lot (And F***)

    Let’s all be honest, when we were 14 we were talking the same way right?

    No? Well maybe I am just fu**ed in the head then.

    How about this?

    Let’s all be honest, if we were 14 and lived in a post-apocalyptic society where fungal creatures were turning humans into walking death and all we had to protect us was a shiv we made out of some metal and tape we would be talking the same way right?

    No? Well sh**. Aren’t you the patron saint of clean mouth?

  • Happy Friday! Here Is A Wreck-It Ralph/The Last Of Us Mash-Up

    Photo courtesy deviantart.com
    Photo courtesy deviantart.com

    I don’t know whether to smile with delight or cringe in horror knowing what awaits Ralph and Vanellope. What I do know is that this mash-up from Digital-Tuls is wonderfully made and something I would have never thought about in a million years.

    When I begin to think about it I can totally see Vanellope going Ellie-style and hopping on someone’s back like a spider monkey and shivving the sh** out of someone.

    wreck_it_joel_and_ellie_von_schweetz_by_digital_tuls

  • Saints Row IV Is Independent As Sh**

    http://youtu.be/RP42ZBkwp3o

    With tomorrow being Independence Day, it is only appropriate that [amazon_link id=”B00BRQN2H4″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Saints Row IV[/amazon_link] would release a video celebrating all the things that make us great. If a video narrated by Keith David talking about fighting for your freedom from anal-probing aliens does not make you feel patriotic as hell then you need to move to Canada*…or France.

    *We here at Nerd Rating love the Canadian people. It is just around July 4th we Americans become more stupid than normal.

    Saints Row IV releases on August 20th.