Tag: WWE

Fat Guy In A Little Singlet- Raw Recap February 3, 2014

The first Raw after CM Punk’s departure went about as well as the WWE could have expected. Sure there were plenty of Punk chants throughout the night and reports that Punk posters were being confiscated like at the NXT taping last week, but the show wasn’t a huge barreling train that headed off the rails and took a plane back to Chicago.

Piece of advice to live fans- if you want to keep up appearances that Daniel Bryan is your guy, you may not want to chant for Punk during his main event match with the WWE All-World Marine All-Star Champion. It just proves to the WWE that you are chanting to chant and actually don’t care about what you say you care about…like Fandango.

Unlike last week there were some really good matches including The Shield doing their Shield-y thing in a six-man tag against Dominic’s real father, the West African Jamaican and man boobs. I am glad the crowd made the fact that Roman Reigns and Big E. were in the ring together a big deal. Few things matter in the ring anymore so it is nice when two big hulking men go against each other and the crowd oohs and ahhs. Kind of like the daydreams that Vince rubs one out to.

Back to Punk, because I am like a dog with too many chew toys.

Word is that Vince and HHH are split on what to do with the tattooed one. Vince wants him back in a big way and HHH feels the opposite because Punk didn’t feel like their match at WrestleMania 30 was high profile enough for him so mutton chops is butthurt.

News Flash: It isn’t as high a profile match as HHH wants to believe it is. There is a hierarchy to Mania matches.

1. WWE Title matches

2. Undertaker vs. whoever.

3. Whatever else is on the show

4. 1&2 are swappable

Punk has always wanted to main event Mania and he felt he was wasting another showing with a match against HHH. Maybe he shouldn’t have left so soon, maybe he just couldn’t take anymore, who knows? I do know that I would love to see Punk on TV again but only if he wants to. No use watching someone half-ass their way through something. That would be like watching Total Divas.

With Punk hanging out with Chris Hardwick or something it seems like WWE has taken the easiest possible way out. By easiest way out I literally mean they took the script for Mania and went HHH vs. ~~Punk~~ Bryan. Kane interfered in the main event last night because…because. So now it looks like D.B. will be taking on Korporate Kane at Elimination Chamber before getting Punk’s Mania leftovers.

Yay?

You know who should be pissed about all of this going down is Sheamus. He was rumored to be turning heel against Bryan and have a Mania match with him but now that has changed and it looks like he will be calling 1-800-FELLA on Ryback.

Welcome back! Don’t get pink eye.

People backstage need to remind Cody Rhodes that if he is going to try and pull a Kurt Angle in the ring at least save it for a PPV. Paralysis should not be given away for free. At least get my $10 on the WWE Network before doing that again.

But I do thank him for the effort. The Rhodes Brothers basically played the role of every John Cena opponent for the last decade. They worked their asses off in the cage match and carried the Outlaws then had to take the loss. Looks more and more likely of a brother vs. brother match at Mania.

Photo courtesy wwe.com

Brock Lesnar was not at Raw last night so that meant that Batista had to have some mic work with Alberto Del Rio. Sad part about this? Del Rio actually outdid skinny jeans even with all of his Spanglish. It was a tougher sounding Del Rio and his sucker punch on Bootista was a surprise that made him look like an actual threat and not a chickenshit. Where was this Del Rio during his last title reign?

Did anyone else know that Titus O’Neil broke up with Darren Young? That’s what I get for not watching Smackdown…or caring about Titus O’Neil. I did like The Miz coming out during the match and asking why he was not in a match but the “guy who barks like a dog” and the “guy who made his own belt for the internet” did. People give Miz a lot of shit but I am still a fan. Hard to believe its been three years since this:

Photo courtesy ign.com

Let’s see what the possible, reworked if Punk is not coming back, I am just guessing so don’t hold me to it WrestleMania 30 card looks like.

Randy Orton vs. Batista

HHH vs. Daniel Bryan

Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena

Cody Rhodes vs. Goldust

Sheamus vs. Ryback

Triple-threat match with all three Shield members

Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar

On paper it looks good. Then again, so did WrestleMania 26 and that went down the crapper quickly.

I don’t believe we have ever been this close to WrestleMania where so much was up in the air. Now with Punk (maybe) gone for good I am sure the writers’ pants are quite full with the proverbial dookie.

Side note- Green Day’s “Dookie” is 20 years old now. Go fu** yourself time.

Till next week!

February 4, 2014
CM Punk Leaves WWE

When it rains, it pours.

After Sunday’s Royal Rumble where fans took over the show (props again to Pittsburgh) showing their displeasure for Daniel Bryan’s omission from the match, reports are saying that CM Punk has left the company. He reportedly told Vince McMahon on Monday that he was going home and got on a plane to Chicago. He has been taken off the listed talent for all house shows for the next few weeks.

There is no way to really tell if this is a work or the real deal but with Punk’s past frustrations I am pegging it as being on the up and up.

The reason behind his leaving is pure speculation at this point. It could simply be he wants time off and he is more of a two minute notice guy instead of two weeks.

Maybe he just wanted to film more Grammar Slam.

Rumors also say it could be because of “returning talent” getting the bigger spots at WrestleMania over guys that have been there for years. He voiced his concerns about this when The Rock returned a few years ago.

This is the LAST thing the WWE needs at this point. Fans are already nearing a revolt because of Daniel Bryan and now they lose the second largest face on their roster. At this rate that Sting signing better be real because the 30th anniversary of WrestleMania is looking in worse shape than ever.

January 29, 2014
Fat Guy In A Little Singlet- Raw Recap 1/27/14

Photo courtesy wwe.com

It’s amazing how much you can relate everything to high school. Take the picture above. You have the douche nozzle that uses his looks to bang all the women, then when they break up, shits in their duffle bag. The football jock who can dress however he wants and is “tough”. Then you have the wildcard. That person that is legit fucking crazy and is most likely to beat someone to death with a pipe in the gym basement.

That’s what Brock Lesnar is: a wildcard.

There is a reason they pay Brock all that money. It’s not to talk about diverticulitis awareness. He saved that horrible segment last night between Orton and Batista that had the crowd so excited they chanted “Daniel Bryan”. Granted the masses chanted that most of the night…but not when the bane of Shane Carwin came out.

Brock still has that aura around him that somebody is going to get a shoe up their ass and a Turkey Tom stuffed down their throat when he is in the ring.

Last night’s three-way bitchfest has me thinking more and more that there are three possibilities for WrestleMania: Brock vs. Batista, Brock vs. Batista vs. Orton or a fatal four-way adding in Daniel Bryan.

I know, it is still wishful thinking. After last night it seems that the WWE is relishing in the fact they are dangling Bryan so close to the main event and will jerk him back like they are teaching us a lesson. We are the children and HHH is the horrible father that tells us to touch the stove because it’s not hot, but that bitch is on full heat.

BTW, who absolutely LOVED the way HHH talked to the crowd in the same voice I am sure he uses when his spoiled ass kids want something? I can imagine in the pre-production meaning how it was discussed:

Writers- What if they start chanting for Daniel Bryan.

HHH- Don’t worry. I have handle these little diaper shitters before. I can handle it.

Writers- But sir, these aren’t childr….

HHH- Get in the corner! Time out!

I am not complaining about the show itself. In the realms of recent Raw’s it was a decent episode. The main event was the only match to really get interested in when it all comes down to it. I liked the stipulation for the six-man tag with the winning team going to the Elimination Chamber although I don’t get the Wyatt’s attacking Cena therefore giving him an easy in to the match. Wouldn’t their plan be to thwart Magilla Gorilla from making it in? Logic…the wrestling fans Achilles heel.

The Elimination Chamber now has four official members; Sheamus, Cena, Orton and Bryan with Lesnar being a pretty good bet for #5. Now the mystery begins. Who will be the last entrant? If I am wagering money I would say it will be Bray Wyatt. I don’t know how but it solves a lot of WWE storytelling in one match.

If it ends up being those six that is one LOADED match. I would watch the shit out of that match especially with Lesnar being in his hometown.

If you were looking for more great matches, this was not the night for you. The Miz and Dolph Ziggler had an OK showing in the first ever (?) Battle of Cleveland with the winner getting to have sex with Drew Carey.

Photo courtesy wwe.com

WILDCARD!!!!

Lesnar destroyed ex-mustache and Black Reign then proceeded to “Big Show” them with a chair. Love him or hate him, he is the only guy on that show that would truly make me shit my pants if he came at me.

A.J. lost ANOTHER match! This time to the other Funkadactyl. The shitty one! Just give us the A.J. vs. Emma match already!

Big congrats to Jake “The Snake” Roberts on his Hall of Fame induction. He should have been in with one of the first two or three classes but he was on a downward spiral then. Now that he has cleaned up his life it is now time to take his place where he belongs. During his heyday there was no better wrestler on the mic or knew how to sell the crowd on mind games and ring psychology.

I will cover the rest of the matches quickly.

America is better than Mexico. Don’t get mad, the WWE said it.

Thug life is better than ballroom dancing.

Being related to The Rock is better than being Ryback (obviously).

Mexico is better than Jamaica…or is it West Africa. Hell, I don’t know. Kofi lost.

Going back to the upcoming PPV, the WWE may be doing the fans a “service” by having Daniel Bryan in the match but will the audience accept anything other than a Bryan victory or Brock since it will be in his backyard?

I want to believe the WWE is smarter than we give them credit for. That they are letting all of this fan uprising fester for a huge payoff at WrestleMania 30. I said I want to believe because I agree with one of my good friends who believes they are staying the course, no matter what, only focused on the WWE Network and new television deal.

Unless one of you want to climb a mountain and ask some naked oracle like in 300 we will just sit and wait. As much as I love titties, I am fat and I am not climbing a damn thing.

Oh well, at least I have a new Blacklist to watch.

Until next week!

LEGO BOMB!!!

January 28, 2014
Fat Guy In A Little Singlet- Royal Rumble 2014 Recap

Last night’s PPV was a turning point for the WWE and not just in the normal way when the Royal Rumble begins the setup for WrestleMania. Neither was this turning point a good thing for the company but it may, in fact, be a good thing for fans of “sports entertainment”. Fans have had enough of the force-fed product and they are letting WWE know it at every show, even more so at last night’s Royal Rumble.

Lets go through what came of last night’s PPV:

Cena and Orton are quickly becoming the past whether WWE wants it or not.

First off, I just want to thank the good folks of Pittsburgh for a showing worthy of a WrestleMania. They voiced their opinion the entire night and it pretty much summed up the voices in the group I was watching with. They let Cena and Orton have it during their title match which was not either guy’s fault. They worked hard and tried to get the crowd involved (especially Orton) but we have seen this song and dance way too many times before. Despite the announcers billing it as “one of the most anticipated rematches of all time” the crowd bellowed out chants of “boring”, “Daniel Bryan” and “we want refunds”.

Daniel Bryan has gone past fan favorite to full-scale revolution.

The more the WWE denies fans what they want, the more they keep revolting. Now this could be WWE trolling every fan with plans to actually put Bryan in the main event of WrestleMania but I am putting my money on it being stubbornness on Vince or HHH’s (or both) part and telling fans what they want. They have done it for the past ten years with Cena and it has made them a shitload of money in merchandise sales.

Daniel Bryan is different. This doesn’t feel like a natural WWE changing of the guard like Bret Hart from Hogan, Shawn Michaels from Bret or Stone Cold from HBK. WWE influenced each of those movements recognizing that it was each guy’s time to become “the man”. Bryan is ready in every way. The only difference is that the big deals in the company aren’t pulling the trigger on what could be their saving grace. The guy that can easily carry the company for the next 5-7 years. Fans are ready, Bryan is ready, Mick Foley is CERTAINLY ready saying he was “disgusted” with the PPV on Twitter as well as writing a scathing piece on Facebook.

Bryan had the match of the night with Bray Wyatt to open the show then was left out of the Rumble altogether. With guys like Kevin Nash, El Torito and JBL having spots it makes the omission of Bryan seem even more like a petty move on the WWE’s part. I hope they realize that this can not be swept under the rug. I think they are hoping this is a flash in the pan. They fail to realize how big it truly is…yet.

The one thing WWE got right last night: Roman Reigns

We all knew that Reigns was the member of The Shield that WWE has big plans for and that started, in earnest, last night. He broke Kane’s record of Royal Rumble eliminations by throwing out 12 guys. Over a third of the entrants! I always figured Kane’s record would always stand. He doesn’t have any streak like Taker or title reigns like Flair to hang his hat on…now all he has is Katy Vick.

Reigns even had a quick mini-babyface turn last night when it came down to him and Batista as the final two men. The crowd was already burned by no Daniel Bryan, even booing Rey Mysterio as he came to the ring, so when it came down to skinny jeans and Rosie’s brother, it became a decidedly pro-Reigns crowd. We can chalk this up to being another case of “seen this before” syndrome. Batista has been gone four years and should have been getting massive pops…that was not to be. Fans want new guys to get behind even if it is a heel.

Reigns is going to be a huge deal very, very soon.

Where does this leave WrestleMania 30?

This is the $20,000 question. After the Royal Rumble, I honestly have no idea. The only certain thing is that Batista will be in the main event for the WWE Title and the belt we were never supposed to see again. If Orton retains at Elimination Chamber then the 30th anniversary of WrestleMania could end with a match I could give two fat flying rat shits about. There is a possibility that Lesnar could unseat Orton in the chamber (the PPV is in his hometown) and we could get Brock vs. Batista. That matchup, at least, intrigues me. They have never had a match together and it would be two huge, hulking guys (which is what gets Vince’s rocks off) in the main event.

For the sake of guessing, let’s say it is Batista and Orton boring people in the main event. Where does this leave the rest of the roster? They combined world titles (stupid) so you won’t have another title match that really means anything. They may combine the U.S. and IC titles at Mania but come on…

Bray Wyatt and Cena are on course for a match at WM30 and even though Cena will triumph, I am glad Wyatt is getting this push. I hope they can deliver on the buildup for the match.

The Sting rumors are swirling as they do every year. This time, there is actually something to it I believe. He is done with TNA and WWE should be backing the Brinks truck up to his house for a short run. A match with Undertaker may not be as great as it would have been ten years ago but the fact of just having those two guys in the ring together would be HUGE.

The Shield are headed for a breakup (dammit). I think this will lead to a triple-threat match to see who is “the best of the group”. If this happens, I expect it to steal the show.

CM Punk gets to waste another WrestleMania appearance against HHH. He will, most likely, face Kane at Elimination Chamber then move on to the “artist formerly known as mutton chops”.

After losing the tag titles last night and Goldust eliminating Cody in the Rumble, we seem to be heading to a brother vs. brother match. A little soon for me, I think. They still had plenty of time left as tag champs IMO.

If all of this shakes down this leaves us with six matches with Lesnar and Daniel Bryan drifting around. As I said before, it could be Lesnar and Batista then where does that leave Orton and Bryan? The last thing they need is another match together. Would the WWE possibly go with a Bryan/Lesnar match? I can’t lie…I would want to see that. WWE could be trolling every single one of us and may have a fatal four-way for the title also. It would fulfill Batista’s Rumble win, get Lesnar in the title mix like Heyman has been preaching and puts the biggest name in the company in the spot the fans want to see him.

Would they actually do that?

Don’t forget, the Raw Recap will be up tomorrow and hopefully we will have a few answers. If not that, at least a whole lot of YES! chants.

January 27, 2014
Seven Royal Rumble Moments…Just Because

This Sunday will be the 27th annual Royal Rumble event so I figured I would quickly put up some of my favorite moments from the show. There are only seven items, because I actually would like you to have the time to see them all, and because I wanted to leave plenty of room for anyone else to let us know about their favorite moments from the yearly event that begins the “road to WrestleMania”.

Let us know of some of your memories or link us the video in the comments below. Also, tell us who you think will win this Sunday.

These are in no particular order.

2005 Royal Rumble

http://youtu.be/tUB5L20tlFg

Easily one of the best eliminations ever came in 2005 when Snitsky went full retard on Paul London. This definitely was his fault.

2010 Royal Rumble

One of the most surprising returns because Edge was thought to be on the shelf for four more months. What still burns me is that as I watched this on PPV, two of my good friends were watching it live at the show, but I did get to witness Edge’s last match at WrestleMania the next year, so no worries.

1999 Royal Rumble

The only true “holy sh**” winner in Royal Rumble history. Sure, you knew he would not main event WrestleMania but that did not keep me from yelling at the television.

2012 Royal Rumble

Kofi has had many memorable Royal Rumble moments. This one sticks out the most to me. He may not ever win the Royal Rumble but he is one of the most entertaining parts every year.

2008 Royal Rumble

There have been many returns during the Royal Rumble match. Booker T, RVD and Diesel are some that come to mind. The reason why I picked this was because it was Piper returning to MSG and the New York crowd popping like they should for a legend like him.

2000 Royal Rumble

Not having to do with the Rumble match but one of my favorite moments. Tazz made his WWE debut against Kurt Angle and ended his undefeated streak. Angle would go on to win the world title in October and Tazz would go on to have one good match against HHH on Smackdown and get his shirt ripped off by Stone Cold in 2001.

2007 Royal Rumble

The final eight minutes of the Royal Rumble was something wrestling fans had been waiting years on. Since making his comeback Shawn Michaels had not gone on-on-one with The Undertaker. As the last two men standing in the match they dazzled the audience and showed us but a taste of what was to come at WrestleMania 25 & 26.

January 24, 2014
Fat Guy In A Little Singlet- Raw Recap (1/20/14)

The Eyes of Kenneth Mars seduce you into watching Raw. You will do anything the eyes say. You will watch a large, muscular man fit into clothes that were made for a 18 year old anorexic GAP model. You will cheer him for his name is….Bautista!

I mean Batista!

Almost four years after leaving, Batista returned to the ring and did…stuff. In the realms of big WWE returns it felt a little meh. Don’t get me wrong, I am excited as anyone that Drax decided to come back for one final run, but it seemed like there was nothing for him to do. He came out during HHH’s bitchfit at Orton and rode the bus on the ramp while pyro went off and flexed for the people then told Randy he was coming for the WWE World Heavyweight Intercontinental European Championship.

Join the overcrowded party of superstars that want to get their hands on the title including: Brock Lesnar, John Cena, Daniel Bryan, everyone else on the roster because that is what everyone on the roster is going to say even though it will not happen. You think Zack Ryder will ever Woo Woo Woo himself to a world title? Nope, but that is what guys are supposed to say.

The biggest thing about Batista’s return, besides him delivering a Batista Bomb to The Million Peso Man?

What the hell was Batista wearing?

Imagine this:

And put it on this:

Mental picture obtained? OK, now store it away with the things you should never think of again including puppy euthanasia and your grandmother naked.

The Shield were back doing what they do best last night which is winning six-man tag matches. No sense of a breakup even though we all know it is coming and the more I think about it, the more I want to not think about it like the trio of things I just mentioned above.

They spread the wealth this week and let someone other than Roman Reigns get the pin. Rollins hit his finisher on Big E. and props to the big man for selling it like it was truly devastating. With the rumors that the WWE will be unifying the IC and U.S. titles at Mania this plays into many scenarios. A Big E./Ambrose match to unify the belts. Rollins could beat Big E. and have two of The Shield members go at it or, my most wonderfulest of matches on my Mania wish list, a triple threat match between Reigns, Rollins and Ambrose for the IC/U.S. belt.

Technically, if they combine the United States and Intercontinental belts isn’t that kind of like the whole world? I see your mind games WWE! You think Total Divas was a mindfuck? We haven’t seen anything yet!

Of course I suck at geography. And math. And grammar. And comma usage.

WWE also celebrated the life of MLK with a couple of video packages and having both African-American superstars that wrestled lose their matches. Xavier Woods, who is a great talent but needs gimmick help right (stat) now, lost in quick order to Fandango. Yes, Fandango is still a thing.

Kofi had a rematch against Randy Orton but John Cena ran down to get revenge on the bag shitter for attacking his father. So Kofi stood there and cheered on the white man as he took out his aggression. Thanks a lot Cena. I am sure Kofi had a dream…of winning.

The saga of CM Punk vs. The Authority continued with Punk taking on the blonde member of the Voodoo Kin Mafia. Don’t get me wrong, I love when the Outlaws are on Raw. I still think they have one more tag title reign in them but the whole Punk/ Authority thing is boring me. We all know where it is headed. A boring match with Kane at Elimination Chamber and then a date with the Cerebral COO at Mania. Of all the people on the roster for Punk to face at Wrestlemania 30, HHH is on the bottom end of the list. I mean bottom. Like Khali bottom. Why not have a Summerslam rematch with Brock Lesnar? Bryan? Stephanie? DDP? A broomstick to see who is truly the best between him and HBK?

I will give you one guess who Alberto Del Rio had a match with? The master of the 619 (and knee injuries) Rey Mysterio!

The Usos beat The Wyatt Family again with a little help from the newly freed Daniel Bryan. The WWE took almost 40 minutes to even talk about the insane crowd reaction to Bryan’s attack on Bray Wyatt last week which still kind of reeks of neglecting the fact that Bryan is the biggest thing in the company to come along in the past ten years.

I am surprised that they are letting Bryan have a one-on-one match at the Rumble considering the concussion he got on last week’s Raw. Apparently he didn’t remember a lot from his cage match and the ensuing crowd riot afterwards. He was taken out of house shows this week and given all the concussion tests and was cleared on Sunday. With Ziggler still out, scarier and scarier every day, with his concussion from Skip Sheffield I thought the WWE would be a bit more careful with Bryan. That is, unless, they have big plans for him Sunday. Like winning the Rumble match big. If they are having him wrestle against Wyatt only, that is a waste when he could be clearing the cobwebs for another week.

This may sound so 2002 but besides the Rumble match itself I am most looking forward to the Brock/Big Show match on Sunday. We all know Brock will be winning but this is a good first match back for Lesnar leading into Mania. Him and Show work well together and it is not exactly expected to be a MOTY so we may be surprised on Sunday.

If anyone doubted Brock’s ability to lose himself in the madness they saw it last night as he went one on one with the announce table. Jesus, did he beat the holy hell out of that table with a chair and then, not content to just pull monitors from the table, launched one at Show in the ring. He almost went full Steiner.

I actually watched an entire Divas match and had to watch A.J. lose…to a Funkadactyl!

The longest reigning Divas Champion ever lost to Brodus Clay’s former spirit squad. But on the upside, she was African-American.

EQUALITY! It’s what the E in WWE stands for.

Since this was the go home Raw before the Royal Rumble how did things end? If you were thinking a big melee in the ring involving a lot of superstars in the Rumble match to get everyone ready for the WWE’s most entertaining match of the year, you would be so, so wrong.

That would just make sense.

Instead we got Cena chasing Orton up into the crowd and through a skybox.

Keep hope alive! It could still get good! Will Cena give him an AA in the skybox? Maybe Orton gets the upper hand and RKO’s Cena on the t-shirt table!

Orton ran outside and jumped in the passenger seat of a car and got away leaving Cena and his glass-cutting nipples to high-five fans in the frigid cold. No mention from anyone about who was driving. No Rikishi. No “I did it for The Rock”

Nothing.

Just Cena standing there with what I am sure was serious shrinkage to contemplate that he has to wait alllllll the way till Sunday to hulk up in his new neon green attire.

In case you missed it they debuted new Cena crap last night including a shirt, hat, wrist bands and towel. All retina burning neon green and all worn at the same time by the world’s brightest gorilla, and I mean the color of his clothing, not his intelligence. Good God was this shit bright. If you reached for the volume button on your remote, I would not have blamed you for the mistake.

Get ready for the Royal Rumble on Sunday. It should be fun…or severely disappointing. Kind of like the year Del Rio won.

Until next week!

January 21, 2014
Fat Guy In A Little Singlet- 1/13/14

Wait…haven’t we seen this before?

Yep, John Cena’s dad was attacked last night by Randy Orton on Raw which I believe is the 11th or 12th time he has been assaulted on camera. One would think he is a relatively smart man and would stay far away from watching his son wrestle. Not because he is always attacked with faux punches and kicks but just for the reason of not watching his son wrestle. Most of the time it is hard to watch and I would prefer being actually punched in the throat.

But wait! What’s this?!

Cena had a good match last night. Not just a good match but a really good match with Damien Sandow. The same Sandow who beat the holy hell out of Cena only two weeks after his fifth miracle early comeback in October with chairs and ring steps. He then cashed in his Money in the Bank briefcase and became only the second man to lose their match for the gold with the other being…yep, Cena. Even Cena gets return wins on MITB briefcase matches. But last night’s match was a good effort from both guys with Cena showing off some nifty new moves (that half-nelson neckbreaker was good) and Sandow getting a whoooole lot more offense than any match he has had with Khali over the past few weeks. You’re welcome.

Ryback kept trolling internet folks last night with his entrance. In case you missed it he went a bit Matt Hardy on Twitter this weekend putting up odd tweets that he had been released only to reveal it was for a traffic stop and played up the fact he gave Dolph Ziggler a (real life) concussion. He then promptly deleted his rage tweets and then tweeted that no one has deleted more tweets than him. Now we know the last fact is not true, that honor belongs to Kurt Angle and rightfully so.

Now either Ryback is just having some fun with trolling the trolls floating around on this giant porn-filled ship we call the worldwide web or…get ready for this…he is actually FUCKING NUTS. Rumors said that after he tweeted he was released that many were not surprised if it actually happened. And this guy was being set up to be “The Man” in 2012. Now he is tagging with Curtis “personality skips a generation” Axel.

The New Age Outlaws teamed up with CM Punk again after their great match with The Shield on last week’s Smackdown for a rematch. The crowd was hot for Punk/Outlaw team and the match was going just fine…until they pushed Punk off the stage in a dumpster (hypothetically speaking) and left him to face The Shield alone.

OH NO! It’s almost as if they are lifelong friends of HHH like Shawn Mich….ohhhhh. I get it.

Punk lost the match thanks to another Roman Reigns spear and got all up in Kane’s face backstage about having a problem with HHH. I smell a Pedigree and a 1-2-3 for Punk in April.

As I said, Reigns picked up another win on Punk and it is looking more and more likely that the WWE is going to hang their hat on him when The Shield breaks up and make him the Batista for this generation of PG WWE Network viewing. Whether you like it or not, you can’t deny that he is a talented big guy that can do stuff like this:

He’s like a 275 lb. flying Uso. Which makes sense seeing as they are related but DAMN was that sweet!

Del Rio, after getting his win back over Sin Hunico, picked up a win against Rey Mysterio further setting up the Mexican JBL to be destroyed by a returning Batista next week. The fun part about ADR and Batista getting together is that Del Rio seems to have actually pissed off Batista on Twitter when he made fun of the rider of buses lackluster MMA fight. Now we should get some extra stiff (giggity) action between these two.

Brock Lesnar was nowhere in sight when the Big Show wrestled Jack Swagger. By wrestle I mean completely squashed. Didn’t the WWE charged us $50 in 2009 for Big Show and Jack Swagger when Swagger was (somehow) WHC? Now we can watch it anytime we want on the WWE Network for only $10 a month, but why would you when you have WCW and ECW PPV’s to watch? Like sands through the hourglass.

Bray Wyatt, Daniel Bryan and The Usos opened and closed the show but that was not a big deal. The big deal was that Daniel Bryan finally, after months and months of being a member of The Wyatt family, broke free of his shackles. Wait, did I say months and months? I meant two or three weeks. Last night’s goatee liberation after such a short time just reaffirmed to me that The Wyatt Family/Daniel Bryan saga was meant as a punishment for the crowd reaction in Seattle last year that left HHH butthurt and it seemed like Bryan was being forced into a heel role because of it.

Welllll, small problem there. The fans would not allow it. They didn’t boo Bryan, they chanted NO to their favorite wrestler giving up. If anything it further solidified that he is going to be the man in WWE whether the higher-ups want it or not. So, last night, the mighty goat face attacked Bray Wyatt in the cage after The Usos had picked up the win. And the…crowd…went…fuck…nuts.

Jeeeesus Christ, what more does this company need to realize that we have sat through a decade of Cena and Orton and it is time to move on? How many WrestleMania’s over the past decade has Cena stood victorious over HHH, Michaels and The Rock to an indifferent crowd. WrestleMania is your Super Bowl. You don’t want that. Or maybe the WWE doesn’t care anymore and are truly in some kind of cruise control until Vince decides to go away.

Imagine the end of WrestleMania 30 with the crowd doing what you see above? One can dream. Don’t let that dream get too far because we will most likely be YES YES YES-ing all the way to another Undertaker win. Then we wonder why we do it. Then we turn on the TV the next night for more.

Until next week!

January 14, 2014
WWE’s AJ Lee Wins Maxim Cover Voting In A Landslide

Proving that wrestling fans will vote in droves for a chance to see their favorite female wrestler on the cover of a publication that used to matter, current Divas champion, AJ Lee, won a fan vote on who should have a Maxim cover in the future over Summer Glau, Miesha Tate and others.

To be completely honest can you see why she won by such a huge margin? If you can’t then we can’t be internet friends, but of course, there are almost no friends on the internet.

No word on if AJ would even consider being on the cover of Maxim. Maybe the fact fans voted her above everyone else on the list will convince her. God know it would be the only reason I would buy a Maxim again.

Photo courtesy showrenity.com

January 14, 2014
WWE Network Launches February 24th. Take A Look At The Best Deal In Sports Entertainment

Yesterday at CES the WWE brought out their big guns to announce that the WWE Network would officially launch on Monday, February 24th. Vince McMahon, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Shawn Michaels, HHH, John Cena and more were on hand to celebrate the moment that the WWE has promised since 2011.

The WWE Network will be a 24/7 streaming service that costs $9.99 a month and can be watched on PC’s, laptops, PS3, PS4, Xbox 360, Apple and Android phones and tablets as well as Roku streaming devices. Smart TV and Xbox One support will be available this summer. You must give a six month commitment to the WWE Network right off the bat but the $60 investment is more than worth it.

What will you get for your 10 bucks a month? Quite simply, all of the wrestling content you could possibly dream of. I almost said “break it down” but resisted. Let’s get the rundown:

-All 12 monthly PPV’s beginning with WrestleMania 30 (which itself is $75)

-Every past WWE PPV

-Every past WCW PPV (DDP vs. Macho Man!)

-Every past ECW PPV (RVD vs. Jerry Lynn!)

-Previous episodes of RAW and Smackdown

-Weekly episodes of NXT

-Pre- and Post- shows for RAW and Smackdown

-Original programming including Legends House (like Big Brother with Roddy Piper, how is that not fun?), WrestleMania Rewind (looks back at WM matches with interviews from the wrestlers), The Monday Night War (regular series focusing on the battle between WWE and WCW) and WWE Countdown (interactive series where fans vote on a variety of “best of” categories).

Legends House also has me intrigued in a “boy this is going to be one, big, racist trainwreck” sort of way. I can say that WrestleMania Rewind and The Monday Night War will already be regular viewing for me as well. WWE has also promised that more original content is on the way in the future. There is no word if new episodes of RAW and Smackdown will be available but I would assume not with the WWE about to sign their new TV deals soon.

Let’s face it, that is a stupid amount of content for only $9.99. Even a cynical fan like me that has lost a lot of interest in wrestling over the past few years can’t help but get excited about this. The fact that I can cull through all of the old WCW and ECW PPV’s as I wish is worth the price alone. Add in the fact that you get all 12 PPV’s WWE produces, which is almost $700 a year, and there is no way any wrestling fan, no matter how disenchanted, can pass this up.

All content will not be altered for today’s PG-era either. All of the programming that is rated TV-14 or TV-MA will carry a warning before viewing. Does this mean I can hear Joel Gertner in his filthy glory? I sure hope so.

I have been a wrestling fan my entire life, and even if you (like me) are not pleased with the current product, the WWE Network will be a good way to go back and see why we fell in love with it to begin with.

January 9, 2014
Hey! Buy Games! October 27- November 3, 2014

Photo courtesy cinemablend.com

It is the biggest release week of the year so far for video games. Pirate lovers, military shooters and wrestling fans all have reason to be excited this week. It is officially the biggest time of the year for gaming. Who is excited?

Oh and there is another Sonic game also.

October 29th

[amazon_link id=”B00BXE4KVM” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Battlefield 4[/amazon_link] (360, PS3)

[amazon_link id=”B00BMFIXKQ” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Assassin’s Creed IV[/amazon_link] (360 PS3, Wii U)

[amazon_link id=”B00CMC6HCY” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]WWE 2K14[/amazon_link] (360, PS3)

[amazon_link id=”B00D41GCVS” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Sonic Lost World[/amazon_link] (Wii U, 3DS)

[amazon_link id=”B00DWXV1B4″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Angry Birds Star Wars[/amazon_link] (360, PS3, Wii, Wii U, Vita, 3DS)

[amazon_link id=”B00CSLIYTI” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Pac Man and the Ghostly Adventures[/amazon_link] (360, PS3, Wii U, Vita, 3DS)

October 31st

[amazon_link id=”B00BPF528E” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Sniper Elite: Nazi Zombie Army 2[/amazon_link] (PC)

October 29, 2013