So shiny, so pretty.
Check out these new screenshots from Batman: Arkham Knight, Rocksteady’s final Batman game. Besides flying around Gotham and driving the Batmobile, it looks like you will be pummeling a group of rednecks who like to wear Confederate flags on their shirts.
Batman hates racists…or just the south.
Batman: Arkham Knight releases on October 14th.
I give you the really real, final, last ever trailer for X-Men: Days of Future Past. The previous trailer went Al Gore “super cereal” and this one keeps the tone, but adds in a lot of punching, metal lifting and “Kashmir”.
Really, who can say no to that?
Let’s just put all of our cards on the table. I am excited as hell to see this. I am enjoying the trolls pissing and moaning about timeline differences between all of the X-Men movies. Have you read X-Men? It is basically one big orgy of alternate timelines, future babies and Sentinels. So, following the comics…the movie is looking pretty spot on.
X-Men: Days of Future Past releases on May 23rd.
Even with some competition from Rio 2, Captain America still came out on top.
After setting a new April record with $95 million last weekend, Cap followed up with $41.3 million. The latest Marvel hit is currently sitting on $476 million worldwide since its release a few weeks ago. It will pass half a billion after next weekend. There appears to be no stopping Marvel.
Rio 2 opened in second with $39 million which is nothing to scoff at. It is on par with the original in 2011. Oculus, the genuinely scary looking horror movie opened in third with $12 million. Not bad with the movie’s budget being $5 million.
1. Captain America: The Winter Soldier- $41.3 million/ $159 million
2. Rio 2- $39.0/ $39.0
3. Oculus- $12.0/ $12.0
4. Draft Day- $9.7/ $9.7
5. Divergent- $7.5/ $124.8
6. Noah- $7.4/ $84.8
7. God’s Not Dead- $4.4/ $40.7
8. The Grand Budapest Hotel- $4.0/ $39.4
9. Muppets Most Wanted- $2.1/ $45.6
10. Mr. Peabody & Sherman- $1.8/ $105.2
Batman: The Animated Series co-creator Bruce Timm has created a new animated short titled “Strange Days” for Batman’s 75th anniversary.
The style is very much like Batman: The Animated Series which, to me, is still the definitive version of Batman. Watch it and let us know what you think.
Comedian Ross Marquand has taken impersonating Matthew McConaughey’s Cohle from True Detective to eerie levels with these two videos that take the enigmatic character and places him in the recent AT&T commercials.
These are so good I am pretty sure that he has somehow drugged McConaughey and stolen his essence. Sounds like some crazy shit he would be into.
Alright, alright, alright.
In a cruel twist, Jim Hellwig, better known as The Ultimate Warrior passed away yesterday at the age of 54. He had just been inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame last Saturday and made appearances at WrestleMania 30 on Sunday and WWE Raw on Monday where he gave one of his famous Warrior promos that turned out to be a bit of horrible foreshadowing.
Reports are that Warrior collapsed outside his hotel in Arizona while walking his wife to the car. He was pronounced dead after arriving at a local hospital.
This is a shot in the gut to wrestling fans everywhere, especially after finally having him back in the WWE after 18 years. He was not the most popular of guys, but it looks like a lot of old wounds were mended over WrestleMania weekend between Warrior and a lot of old WWE stars.
Our thoughts and prayers go out to his wife and two daughters during this time.
If this was the price of having him back this past weekend, it was too high.
And what if I told you it is as asinine as it sounds?
Also, what if I told you Captain Janeway herself, Kate Mulgrew, was narrating it and possibly believes this?
Now, what if I told you that it is being directed by a huge anti-Semite who believes the Holocaust didn’t happen?
Am I going to watch this and review it? You bet your sweet ass I am. Now you should know why Voyager is the “kid in the helmet” of the Trek world.
Better yet, can I watch this while Neil deGrasse Tyson MST3K’s it?
The Raw after WrestleMania is like that one big summer movie you know you absolutely can not miss. It’s big, it’s fun, its got lots of things getting blown up. In this case that would be The Ultimate Warrior who played his character so well he was out of breath after walking to the ring.
That is dedication.
I’ll be damned if that Warrior promo didn’t make a damn bit of sense, but wouldn’t we worry if it did? That’s his schtick. To talk about the power of the Warriors and blood and veins and living in the clouds with all the other Warriors and have tantric sex to bring about the end of the world after we ascend to the heavens by the comets in the stars.
See, I just did one. It’s easy. Now you try.
I have to give props to the post-WrestleMania crowd in New Orleans. They lived up to the past two years from New York/Jersey and Miami. Cheering for whoever they wanted to, booing Cena so hard even he had to acknowledge it and even singing along with songs I had no earthly idea you could sing-a-long with.
Side note: Can we all agree that singing “Cena sucks” to his music should become the new Kurt Angle “you suck”.
The MVP of the show was Paul Heyman, without a doubt, who had the crowd eating out of the palm of his hand. His promo with Brock about beating Taker’s streak is the kind of speech that goes on future DVD’s to be remembered. Mentioning that there are WWE Hall of Famer(s), legend(s) and superstar(s), but there is only one Brock Lesnar. He is the one in 21-1.
So much brilliant. Hard to brain straight.
Then, as if that wasn’t enough, after getting booed with the power of a thousand suns with Brock, Cesaro announces that he is a Paul Heyman guy…and the bastard gets cheered out of the building!
Greatest manager ever? The conversation is becoming easier to say yes. Yes, he is.
Guess who else was major over last night? If you said The Wyatts, you win a Follow the Buzzards Prize Pack which includes a dirty, sweaty wife beater, a sheep mask and odd looks from everyone around as they wonder if you are a meth dealer in Louisiana.
REGGIE LEDOUX!
Has it become tradition to give Sheamus the shit end of the stick on the Raw after WrestleMania? Last year his match with Orton was crapped all over by the lovely crowd that chanted for JBL and Jerry Lawler. So how do they reward him this year? Put him in a tag match with John Cena.
Gee, thanks guys.
The crowd was not booing him and Big E. directly, just the fact they were in close vicinity to Cena. The fact that The Wyatts were on the other side did not help matters either. It’s all good Sheamus. Maybe next year they will put you in a handicap match against The Rock, Stone Cold and Daniel Bryan as we all watch what happens like some sort of twisted social experiment.
Holy shit, did Paige really just win the Divas Championship?!
Yes, she did. And it was glorious. Now everyone should know I was a firm believer of AJ keeping the belt until the day HHH decides to kill the Divas division and show clips of Total Divas on Raw instead of matches, but my only other happy possibilities were Emma, who is being wasted with Santino, and Paige winning the title.
Last night had a good feel to it (giggity). AJ’s promo about how she has run roughshot over the sad Divas division basically said that while the cast of Total Divas may be fame-seeking TV whores, they also should not hold the Divas title ever.
Wait…no that’s about right with the one exception being Nattie.
So the fact that Paige came in and beat AJ should signal a change in the Divas division from one of Funkanoonegivesashits and twins whose only differences are tit size and taste in men, to actual in-ring talent that will elevate the division and, by extension, the belt.
Side note: Adam Rose is awesome. If you don’t know, you will soon.
Feels a bit weird going this long and just now getting to the main event, but there was so much shit last night.
Did anyone else get one of those “oh shit is it 2003” moments when HHH said he would face Bryan for the title and Batista and Randy Orton would have a match for the tag titles? I know I did. It was not fun. I had the thought of after WrestleMania, the meetings for Raw going something like this:
“Alright, we gave them what they wanted. What next?”
“We could kind of bring back Evolution and have them win everything again. Who doesn’t want to see that?”
Then I stab my eyes out with a #2 pencil (does anyone still use those?) and wear my sheep mask from my Follow the Buzzards Prize Pack.
It looks like we are heading for a Evolution/Authority/whatever they are now vs. Daniel Bryan/Shield match. This pleases me. I am glad they did not break The Shield up at Mania because they are hitting a new high and are going to sell the hell out of those new facemasks that look cool on them, but will be scary as shit on a kid.
Really, if I saw a kid wearing one I would head the other direction, because I’ll be damned if I end up like Fred Gwynne in Pet Sematary and have some kid off me.
Side note: The real bad news from last night was that Barrett will only get cheered on the post-Mania Raw.
Why in the hell were they saving Cesaro beating Swagger last night? You have the crowd behind him and Heyman and you end it with a crowd-deflating count-out? What? Are you saving a Swagger loss for a PPV? Like we haven’t seen Swagger lose to everyone on the roster over the past two years…for free! And that includes two midgets!
Remember last year when the Raw the week after WrestleMania was a complete letdown after all the Fandangoing and whatnot? Well, I get to be a part of the disappointment firsthand next week! That’s right kids, I will be at Raw live next week and will apologize in advanced for the shitty crowd. It is Alabama and unless they are going to have a Shield vs. Authority football game, I know how this will go. Our group will do our best, but we are only a handful against a legion that kind of looks like Harper and Rowan.
Damn.
Until next week!
I think it is safe to say that Captain America has taken his place behind Iron Man as Marvel’s number two hero. Captain America: The Winter Soldier easily set a new April record with $96.2 million which is $11 million more than Thor: The Dark World opened to last November. The more impressive feat is the $207 million it has earned internationally giving Cap a $303 million gross after only ten days. That is almost half of Thor: The Dark World’s total gross in a week and a half.
The rest of the top ten suffered heavily with Marvel fever on everyone’s minds.
1. Captain America: The Winter Soldier- $96.2 million/ $96.2 million
2. Noah- $17.0/ $72.3
3. Divergent- $13.0/ $114.0
4. God’s Not Dead- $7.7/ $32.5
5. The Grand Budapest Hotel- $6.3/ $33.3
6. Muppets Most Wanted- $6.2/ $42.1
7. Mr. Peabody & Sherman- $5.3/ $102.2
8. Sabotage- $1.9/ $8.7
9. Need For Speed- $1.8/ $40.8
10. Non-Stop- $1.8/ $88.1
So anything interesting happen last night on Game of Thrones? I only ask because WWE had their own version of the Red Wedding at WrestleMania 30 with Undertaker playing the part of…well, anyone named Stark and Lesnar was the arrows and knives.
Before I get started full on there are two things I need to get out of the way:
1. This is not going to be in any order. My brain will jump around as it wants to. I don’t question the madness and neither should you.
2. I have no problem whatsoever with Brock Lesnar beating The Undertaker.
Now let me explain #2 to a greater degree. I have maintained for a year or two that a match with The Undertaker at WrestleMania should be used to elevate young talent. Not by them beating him, but by having a great match with him. Lesnar losing last night and even HHH’s third go-round last year with Taker gained them nothing. They were already made men. That is why I thought Lesnar was being wasted at this year’s show by having a match with Taker that he could not win.
Shows how much I know.
With Lesnar’s win last night, this cements his place in wrestling history. Like forever.
FOR-EV-ER
Giving a young guy the win over Taker makes no sense. You can not predict the future of the business. Maybe you give Roman Reigns the win and he becomes “the man who breaks The Streak”. What happens if two years down the road he becomes an afterthought like Bobby Lashley, MVP or Kennedy, who were all thought to be future faces of the company? You have just squandered The Streak for nothing.
With HBK retired and HHH going 0-3, this leaves only two viable options on the roster that should end The Streak: Brock Lesnar and John Cena.
These men are like Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania 24; they are the only ones that can shoulder the load of being the one who ended something legendary. When you get down to these two it becomes clear that Lesnar should be that guy. People either love him or hate him (and to Brock’s credit, he couldn’t give two shits about it), now that he has ended The Streak, wrestling fans can throw their complete hatred and ire towards him and guess what? He is fine with it.
But why can’t Cena be the guy?
Simple. He is the face of the WWE, whether we who hate him would like to admit. He is a decade-long brand and if he broke The Streak, that would very seriously threaten to take away the fans that have stayed true to him for ten years. Why would you even chance that? We keep waiting for this magical heel turn to make things right, but let’s come to the realization that it will not happen.
That only leaves Brock.
And here is the thing most people are forgetting; the only man that can ever really beat The Streak is The Undertaker. I am certain this was his call. If he chose the guy and he chose the place, then accept it and don’t forget that he wanted to end The Streak to Mark Henry at WrestleMania 22…so there is that big ass silver lining.
And now for something completely different.
Where The Undertaker losing felt like a funeral, the show ended as it should have with 75,000 people chanting “YES” as Daniel Bryan won the WWE World Heavyweight Title. And guess what? Both of his matches were great (as usual). How weird is it to have a champion that night in, night out will give you great matches whether it is on Raw, Smackdown or a PPV? Punk did that for the most part, but even he grew complacent and hum drum during his historic reign.
HHH showed a lot last night proving that he can still go with the young guys, which I kind of questioned after his past two matches with Taker. His match with Bryan went 25 minutes and it didn’t feel like it. Their styles meshed well together and the finish was super hot with HHH’s post-match beatdown of Bryan.
The main event was a masterstroke by WWE and all the guys involved. Batista, Orton and Bryan worked their asses off and brought the crowd back from the dead (too soon?) and had them in the palm of their hands during the last ⅓ of the match. The false finishes worked well especially with the HHH involvement and the short-lived Evolution comeback.
Side note: I don’t think there is enough Icy Hot on Earth to help Orton’s back after landing on that monitor.
Bryan holding both belts as the crowd lost their shit is that reason why we watch wrestling. That will stand next to Hogan slamming Andre, Warrior beating Hogan, Stone Cold passing out to Bret, all the Rock/Austin matches and all the other WrestleMania moments that are carved in our memory.
Bray Wyatt proved he will be a main guy for a looong time.
Not just because of that A-MAZ-ING entrance, but showing that he belonged in a big time match with Cena. Yes, Cena won. I know, I know. I oddly don’t have a problem with this because Bray gained a lot just from the feud and the match. And the spot where the fans sang while Bray conducted them…so great. We already know the type of match he can have with Daniel Bryan after their show-stealing performance at the Royal Rumble and now we know he can make a feud with Cena entertaining. Add this to his promos already being the best in the business and I will be following the buzzards for as long as they let me.
I am running long so I will hit a few quick points:
-The Shield did not break up (as I predicted). I kind of wished they had after only having a four minute match with Kane and the Outlaws. I know there is going to be one throwaway match on the card but how can the Divas be given ten minutes and the tag titles be on the pre-show and this be given so little time?
-Cesaro winning the Andre the Giant Battle Royal was absolutely the right decision. Big Show is already…well, Big Show. Cesaro is one of those guys that looks to be one of a few in a generation, like Bryan or Wyatt, that you hang your hat on to be one of the next big things. How big can the Cesaro Section get? We are about to find out.
-The only reason I am even mentioning the Divas match is because AJ retained her title which is one of the two outcomes I wanted. The other? #Emmalution
Good point brought up last night by a friend: What if they are keeping the title on AJ to go past CM Punk’s 434 days as champion as a “f*** you” by having his girlfriend keep her title longer.
-The opening with Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold and The Rock was better than all of last year’s WrestleMania. The night was going to be historic and that just set the tone.
Here are my Top 5 moments from WrestleMania 30:
1. Daniel Bryan leading 75,000 people in a “YES” chant as champion.
2. Brock Lesnar defeating The Undertaker.
3. The massive boner-iffic opening for wrestling fans with Hogan, Austin and Rock.
4. Cesaro throwing Big Show over the top rope and winning the battle royal
5. My reaction the Lesnar winning which consisted of my hands on my mouth letting out a muffled “Holy Shit” like Kenny from South Park.
And we still have tonight’s Raw!