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  • Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon To Release On May 1 And That’s Not Even The Best Part

    screenlg6ueauw-noscale

    How can having a release date (and therefore proving this thing is real) not be the best part of this announcement? Because now Michael Biehn is confirmed to be in the game and hopefully wipe away any memory I have left of the giant shit that Gearbox took on my chest in Aliens: Colonial Marines. I am just considering this DLC, which does not require a copy of Far Cry 3 to play, as an apology for my 60 bucks that was stolen from me.

    Thank you, Ubisoft. Bet you never thought you would see me type that, but the thought of Aliens does weird things to me. Check out the official synopsis below.

     Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon is THE Kick-Ass Cyber Shooter taking place on a bizarre open-world island crawling with evil. Welcome to an 80’s VHS vision of the future. The year is 2007 and you are Sargent Rex Colt, a Mark IV Cyber Commando who’s fighting against a cyborg army gone rogue. Your mission: get the girl, kill the baddies, and save the world. Experience every cliché of a VHS era vision of a nuclear future, where cyborgs, blood dragons, mutants, and Michael Biehn (TerminatorAliensNavy Seals) collide. Playing Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon doesn’t require a copy of Far Cry 3.

  • Life Finds a Way: A Discussion and Review of Jurassic Park in IMAX 3D

    Jurassic-Park

    Earlier this month, Jurassic Park finally got a stand-alone blu-ray release; it had previously only been available as part of a trilogy boxed set. The kicker – as in it kicked me right in the gut – is that this is the “Twentieth Anniversary Edition” release. Now, I’m not usually one for fretting over the fact that I am growing older; nor am I oblivious to the release dates of my favorite films from over the course of my life. But having the information thrust upon me in this fashion was a bit disconcerting.

    Because, you see, I still have very vivid memories from seeing it at the impressionable age of seven-going-on-eight: The intensity and confusion of the opening raptor attack; the wonder and rapture of the brachiosaurus reveal; the gut-tightening tension of multiple T-Rex escapes. Over the past two decades, I have carried the emotional impact of those spectacles with me through countless viewings of the film.

    I was, of course, ecstatic to hear that it was being re-released into theaters as well, and in 3D no less. When the opportunity presented itself to go see the new version on a theatrical IMAX screen, I could barely contain my excitement. I have no doubt that I annoyed my girlfriend, who had never seen the movie at all, with my demands that she be as excited as I was. That’s not to say she wasn’t excited – she genuinely enjoyed the experience – but I was unfairly expecting her to somehow feed off my own fervor.

    Imagine my surprise, then, when I realized that I wasn’t too far off from being a first-time viewer myself: Sitting in that theater, I somehow managed to watch a twenty-year-old film in IMAX 3D and take away more substance than spectacle. In a way, this review is more a way for me to share that experience than anything else. If you’re eagerly anticipating my final verdict, I’m afraid to tell you you’re in the wrong place.

    Now, for the article proper. We’re going to try something a little different; instead of me just writing paragraph after paragraph of text, I enlisted by good friend Bryant from The Truth Inside the Lie and we had a nice dialogue about the film. I’ve transcribed it below, adding to it in places where we didn’t address things that had been on my mind but we didn’t have time for.

    Hold on to your butts…

    TS:

    The first time I saw Jurassic Park, I was a month from turning eight, and had an absolute obsession with dinosaurs. The movie enraptured me, and everything about it overwhelmed me. I had the toys, sheets, lunchbox, etc.

    BB:

    So was this a case of the movie fitting an already-present interest, or a case of it creating an interest (in dinosaurs)?

    TS:

    The former. I had loved dinos for as long as I could remember. According to my mother, it started around the time I was two. I had books, tapes, models, and was genuinely informed on the topic. “The Land Before Time” was a big part of it. Probably the biggest impact JP had was to make velociraptors my favorites, although I quickly learned that Spielberg’s version was fairly inaccurate in the service of making them more menacing.

    BB:

    How many times did you force your poor parents to take you to see the movie?

    TS:

    See, I’m not positive there. We didn’t go to the movies on whims, though we did see the “big” releases in a timely fashion. My dad might have taken me back at least once, and maybe my grandparents took us once? I do remember feeling like it took a thousand years for the movie to come out on the vaulted “V-H-S” so that I could watch it endlessly.

    BB:

    Makes sense. Now, for my part…I think I saw it three times. Once on opening night; it came out in ’93, and I’d graduated in ’92 — I saw it with my best friend from high school, who was back in town for the weekend. Then saw it again later with my dad, and a third time about a year later when it was rereleased.

    TS:

    I had always though there was a re-release, but wasn’t sure. In that case, I would be positive that we went and saw it again at that point.

    As a teenager, what was your reaction?

    BB:

    Well, by that point I was a huge Spielberg fan, so this movie was catnip. And I’d read the novel, which I’d liked a lot. (I’d read it because Spielberg was making it into a movie, incidentally.) I liked the movie a lot, too. It scared the piss out of me at a few key moments, and this was back in the days when I REALLY hated being scared by movies. But I didn’t care. Had a blast. The effects were literally like nothing anyone had ever seen. That cannot be over-emphasized.

    TS:

    That was a huge part of it for me; as a kid who fantasized about dinosaurs being alive again, this was the closest I figured I would ever come.

    Which, incidentally, is where the biggest part of what the 3D version made me feel comes from, in that I felt like I was watching the movie as a real movie for the first time. Somehow I saw past the (admittedly amazing) wonder and appreciated it as a work of cinema.

    BB:

    I had almost exactly the same experience. In a way, for some viewers, the movie got overshadowed by “Schindler’s List” later in 1993. Comparatively, “Jurassic Park” felt like it had been a charming little pre-dinner mint or something. Watching it on VHS on reinforced that idea. But seeing it on a huge screen again brought it back home to me that it is, in every way, a masterful piece of cinema.

    TS:

    Hearing you say that, I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of people who were old enough to have seen it back then are experiencing something similar. That’s a big part of what made me want to have this little chat; I want to talk about things that seem obvious, but I never really thought about before.

    BB:

    Well, one of the elements that gets brought up a lot is the way in which the story serves as a character-building exercise for Alan Grant: in a way, the entire film is about him being forced to embrace the idea of being responsible for kids. And boy oh boy, did Ellie lay his ass about an hour after that chopper landed…

    TS:

    Interestingly enough, Ellie’s slowly increasing sexiness as the movie goes on in something I wanted to discuss. On the Grant front, it’s like you’re inside my brain. As they escaped in the chopper, my brain woke up and went “This entire movie is about how Grant should focus more on the people around him, especially children (the future) instead of on dusty old bones (the past).”

    BB:

    Was this your first time noticing that?

    TS:

    Like a bolt from the blue.

    BB:

    Mm-hmm. Now, me, I knew that already; but only because I’d read it in a book about Spielberg’s work long ago. (It hit ME like a bolt out of the blue at that time, though.) What I noticed this time that I hadn’t before is that what’s happening to Grant with the kids underscores everything Ian is preaching about. Life finding a way; unpredictability.

    TS:

    And the shot of the birds represents how dinosaurs had, like Grant, eventually moved on beyond their path toward extinction.

    BB:

    Or, alternatively, it’s Grant looking at evidence of himself having been wrong, and finding he is totally okay with that.

    TS:

    I can see that, yeah. Which would fit, since he’s the only male character in the movie who is able to abandon his stubborn ways in time to not suffer too much from it.

    Dennis’s obsession with getting back at Hammond (because it’s about that, not the money) gets buried in the mud while he gets eaten; Ian’s desire to be right about the chaos lands him with a busted leg; Muldoon’s need to hunt the raptors gets him hunted right to death, which is reinforced by the shot of the alpha raptor watching the snake, knowing she’s the dominant hunter.

    And then there’s John Hammond, who I finally realized is every bit the creation-obsessed dick he is in the book. The obvious signs are him insisting on seeing each dino be born – thinking they will “imprint” on him, of all things – and refusing to use the lysine(?) contingency.

    But the really, really telling part is when he yells “Don’t!” into the phone when Grant is shooting at the raptors, despite the fact that his own grandchildren are in mortal danger.

    —Interjection—

    At this point, I would like to point out that the 3D actually does a really good job of adding focus to certain things that represent some of these themes. The times when we get a close-up shot of the amber on Hammond’s cane or Grant’s raptor claw are prime examples; the bag Dodgson is carrying when he meets Nedry, the embryos as Nedry is pulling them out of storage, and the shaving cream can as it’s being covered by mud are also greatly enhanced.

    ——

    BB:

    Yeah, Hammond is a nutjob, no doubt. He’s Frankenstein, essentially.

    TS:

    Speaking of which, that particular work was very ahead of its time in terms of the science that Shelley drew from. I’m still impressed by the references to genetics in JP; putting that kind of thing in high-brow novels is one thing, but putting them in a summer blockbuster is quite another.

    BB:

    Yes, and it was so beautifully-integrated — some would say spoon-fed, but I say beautifully-integrated — into the plot that I think the science was part of the reason why it was a home run with audiences. Not in spite of; because of. People are more than willing to learn, if you make it interesting.

    TS:

    I agree. The only thing I would say the movie over-simplifies is chaos theory, but having read both Crichton novels – which are essentially treatises on the subject disguised as dinosaur books – I am perfectly ok with that.

    BB:

    Well, that’s a subject where if you’re not careful it turns into “Big Numbers,” that abandoned comic series by Alan Moore that I wrote about in one of my comics blogs not long ago. I think with chaos theory it was sufficient to simply introduce the concept and let it lie there, self-evident and satisfied in its correctness, shirt unbuttoned and glistening. Um…

    TS:

    Ha! You have no idea how many of the women in our showing made audible expressions when that cut to Ian happened.

    BB:

    I do not doubt it.

    TS:

    Which seems a great lead into an aforementioned topic: How unbelievably hot Ellie becomes over the course of that movie. I was no stranger to Laura Dern being attractive, but as a kid my big crush was on Lex.

    This time around, though, I might have been a little short of breath when Ellie’s trying to help Grant keep the door closed.

    BB:

    I always forget how incredibly hot Laura Dern is/was until I’m actually SEEING her on-screen in something. Just hot as balls; fresh-out-f-the-microwave balls, too. And yet, Ellie never comes off as the stereotypical woman-in-distress character. (Like, say, Willie Scott in “Temple of Doom.”)

    TS:

    That’s exactly why she’s so hot as things progress, I think. It ties in with her comment about “sexism in survival situations” when Hammond is suggesting he should go to the generator room instead of her.

    BB:

    Yep. Now, if you don’t mind, let’s go back to Nedry for a minute. Here’s my question: did he HAVE to be played by Newman?

    TS:

    These days, I think not. But I genuinely think that even the great Spielberg can fall into typecasting. In 1993, if you wanted a conniving computer programmer, then “fat guy in bad shirt” was the way to go.

    BB:

    Nedry is maybe my biggest problem with the movie. He’s so patently a plot device, it kinda irks me. Although even that fits into the chaos-theory thing. And it also, I might add, creates a bit of a link between Grant and Hammond. Grant, not necessarily a people person; Hammond must not be either, if he could hire someone as obviously untrustworthy as Nedry.

    TS:

    See, I think it has more to do with Hammond’s obsession with making this place exactly what he wants, without paying enough attention to how he’s getting there (Ian’s speech around the dinner table comes to mind). Nedry was a means to an end. Although it is interesting that Hammond loves to talk about “sparing no expense” and Nedry’s biggest problem seems to be financial.

    BB:

    I just realized that “Nedry” and “nerdy” have the same letters…

    TS:

    That they do, but that would be on Crichton for naming the character.

     

    BB:

    What have you to say about John Williams vis-a-vis this movie?

    TS:

    Sound! This was another area that I really noticed for the first time, probably thanks to the wonder that is IMAX.

    I think Williams is on point in this film beyond even his usual talent. The JP theme is unforgettable, and the different applications he finds for it are superb. But where he really shines this time around are the little bits underneath the action and dialogue: The scene in the amber mine, the ice cream one with Hammond and Ellie, and the one where they find the “unauthorized” dino eggs all stand out for me.

    —Interjection—

    I also wanted to talk about the times there’s almost no sound in the movie, music included, and how fantastic that was with IMAX tech. The moment that stand out most is when Lex is seeing the raptor’s shadow against the wall, followed by her and Tim running into the kitchen area. Other than their panicked breathing, there is absolute silence.

    As for times when the effects really shine, the dilophosaurus stalking Nedry sounded like it was legitimately moving around behind me. Of course, for sheer “wow” value, the impact tremors from the t-rex’s steps shook the entire auditorium, and it’s roars were appropriately deafening.

    ——

    BB:

    They really should have figured out a way to give him (Williams) two Oscars that year. “Hey, we know you’re already getting one for Schindler’s List, but here, have another while you’re at it.”

    TS:

    Hehe. I was actually listening to the JP soundtrack while writing the early parts of my review today, and I’m really irked that the tracks don’t flow chronologically with the movie.

    BB:

    That’s a common problem — “problem” — with Williams soundtracks, sadly. Alright, what are your thoughts on “Jurassic Park” being the last time Spielberg was truly comfortable in popcorn-movie mode?

    TS:

    I would counter with Minority Report…?

    BB:

    Love it, but it was not a notable success. Maybe what I meant was that “Jurassic Park” was — so far — Spielberg’s last mega-smash hit.

    TS:

    Hmm.

    Well, my initial response would be that three of his attempts at such – The Lost World, War of the Worlds, and Crystal Skull – just aren’t very good, and after a while even average-Joe moviegoer starts to pick up on things like that. How successful was Tin-Tin?

    BB:

    Not very; kind of a hit outside of America, barely one at all in America.

    TS:

    That’s a shame, because it is loads better than most blockbusters these days. How about this: JP happens to be a spectacle film that is also masterfully made and has hidden depths. But most blockbusters these days are almost entirely style, and Spielberg has shifted his focus to more substantial fare.

    BB:

    There’s something to that, but I think it’s more that that’s what he THINKS he’s done. His blockbusters are plenty substantial; they just weren’t always taken that way by critics. And while I love — hold on, let me mentally count… — seven of the movies he’s made since then, and like all the rest, I miss THAT Spielberg.

    ——

    Unfortunately, that was the end of our discussion, but Bryant has promised to potentially respond to anything I say here that piques his interest. As far as Spielberg’s recent works go, I will agree with Bryant that they don’t seem to have the same “oomph” as something like Jurassic Park, Jaws, or even Close Encounters. But he has always been one to direct exactly what he feels like directing, and so perhaps his interest has simply shifted toward a different kind of storytelling.

    Back to the task at hand, I mentioned before that this was my girlfriend’s first time to see Jurassic Park, and it was great fun talking to her about it. She felt the movie has an impressive spectacle factor, even after twenty years, and liked the story it told. She’s not usually one for “scary” films, and was mostly ok in this case, with one exception: The power station. She physically jumped when the raptor came from behind the pipes, and then got fairly colorful when Sam Jackson’s arm wasn’t still attached. I’d wager that her heart was racing every bit as much as Ellie’s at the end of that scene.

    Unless you have a complete disdain for all forms of cinematic enjoyment, you should take the time to go see Jurassic Park in 3D, and preferably in IMAX. Because regardless of whether or not you have ever seen it before, it will be one of the best movies you see this year, and will also probably be one of the best entertainment experiences you might ever hope to have.

     

    I saw this release in an IMAX 3D digital auditorium. [amazon_link id=”B00B4804KS” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]The 3D version comes out on blu-ray April 23, 2013.[/amazon_link]

  • Retro Achievement List: Hideo Kojima Double Feature

    Photo courtesy gamingbolt.com
    Photo courtesy gamingbolt.com

     

    I missed our “Retro Achievement” launch last week due to an awesome visit from my very kick-ass mom, but this week I’m back with a vengeance and ready to offer up two helpings of vintage gaming goodness.

    In case you didn’t see it, last week Hideo Kojima unveiled a video of two men on a horse fleeing from a ghost riding a flaming unicorn. No, Kojima isn’t in charge of Brokeback Mountain 2: Flaming Boogaloo, but was revealing that the much-discussed The Phantom Pain trailer was in fact a teaser for Metal Gear Solid V.

    So to honor this latest round of Hideo highjinks, my two-part retro achievement list will center on arguably the most exemplary examples of Kojima-ness from the PS2 era: Zone of the Enders and Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty.

    Now before I start, I hear a few of you thinking “Wait a damn minute! Both of those games have been featured in HD collections that included actual achievements for them!” I own both of those collections, and rest assured that the “awards” listed below are drawn directly from a basement couch in Alabama circa 2001, as opposed to any recent re-exposure.

    Zone of the Enders- Playstation 2

    Photo courtesy residentgamers.com
    Photo courtesy residentgamers.com

    Achievement Unlocked:

     

    *Achievement #1

    Ender’s Lame

    After reading a sidebar in Official Playstation Magazine’s reveal article for ZoE about Orson Scott Card’s “Ender” books and how they might tie in to the game, take time to read them all before the game’s release. Realize five minutes in that there is absolutely no connection.

    *Achievement #2

    Cockpit Cock-Up

    Field questions from your friends and family about why all the orbital frames appear to have giant wangs – even the obviously female one with boobs and rounded hips. Explain that the pilots sit there, but accidentally use the word “cockpit” and never hear the end of it.

    *Achievement #3

    Mummy Dearest

    At any point in the game, get pinned against the environment by a mummy frame using the halberd, with absolutely no way to fly away or fight back. Die horribly.

    *Achievement #4

    Nancy Kerrigan

    Discover that Jehuty “skates” along the ground when you fly low enough, leaving behind really cool glowing lines. Cease to travel any other way.

    *Achievement #5

    Anu-Boner

    Get to the end of the game and encounter Anubis; immediately decide all other giant robots are inferior. Read online that there are unlockable frames for playing the game more thoroughly!

    *Achievement #6

    Anu-Blue-Balls

    Spend hours beating every difficulty and getting S rankings in the hope that Anubis might be unlockable in either Story or VS mode; Anubis isn’t unlockable. Realize you can’t ever get that time back.

    *Achievement #7

    Much Ado About…Something

    Pay super-close attention to all of the cutscenes and dialogue, as you know Kojima weaves intricate stories. Eventually determine that the entire game is a really elaborate allegory for blind dates (the date being between Leo and ADA, obviously).

    *Achievement #8

    A Three Hour Tour

    Buy the game on launch day and invite your best friend over to play, as you’ve both been super-excited for months now. Very early in the evening, you escape from Anubis and deliver Jehuty to the resistance, ready to continue the fight on Mars. Only, the credits are rolling. Why are the credits already rolling…?

    *Achievement #9

    BAHRAM Strikes Back

    While browsing IGN one night, you blindly stumble across the reveal trailer for ZoE: The 2nd Runner. Even more months of getting pumped up finally pay off when the sequel is everything the first game hinted at but didn’t deliver on.

    *Achievement #10

    Demo Disc

    Eventually you relent and put in the demo disc for MGS 2, and then immediately cease to worry about the contents of ZoE as you pour untold playtime into this tiny taste of Snake’s newest epic tale. Get really, really pumped up for the full release…

    Metal Gear Solid 2- Playstation 2

    Photo courtesy archive.foolz.us
    Photo courtesy archive.foolz.us

    Achievement Unlocked:

     

    *Achievement #1

    A Solid Start

    After years of waiting, spend the first hour or so in slack-jawed amazement, leading up to Metal Gear Ray’s unbelievably cool reveal.

    *Achievement #2

    Sandy Koufax

    Watch the biggest curveball in gaming history go sailing past as the incomparable Snake is replaced by a skinny transsexual with Fabio hair for the remainder of the game.

    *Achievement #3

    My Heart Will Go On

    Really, Hideo? Jack and Rose. Jack and mother*#&$ing Rose.

    *Achievement #4

    For Me To Poop On

    Get splattered in the face by bird shit / slip in bird shit and fall. Realize that one of the major additions to the newest Metal Gear game is bird shit.

    *Achievement #5

    Chubby Checker

    Endure a boss fight against a fat man on roller skates while realizing that its design mirrors the Vulcan Raven fight. You know, the one against a giant shaman toting an anti-tank Gatling gun? Except, again, now it’s against a fat man. On roller skates.

    *Achievement #6

    Rail Against The Machine

    In the boss fight against Fortune, realize that her rail gun is the coolest thing in the entire game. Of course, you won’t get to use it until MGS 4 comes out seven years later.

    *Achievement #7

    Sobbing Ota-controllably

    Listen to Otacon tell the story of how his family dissolved. Never feel happiness ever again.

    *Achievement #8

    Dr. Solidoctopus

    Watch Snake break free of handcuffs, sprint and dive into freezing water after Metal Gear Ray, presumably planning on fighting it with his bare hands. Continue to play as Raiden in a final boss fight that involves using a sword to defeat an old man in Doc Ock cosplay.

    *Achievement #9

    Do-Re-Mi-Fa-Sol

    Discover that this entire operation was actually the cryo-sleep dream of a Ronald Reagan clone hidden inside Mount Rushmore by Colonel Sanders and the Illuminati.

    *Achievement #10

    Sons of Suckery

    While watching the four-hour-long final cinematic, save multiple times in order to do chores, eat dinner, etc. Come to the realization that the finale is so drawn out they inserted save points. Get very, very close to never buying another MGS ever again.

     

    We want to hear from all of you also! What achievements would you add to Zone of the Enders or Metal Gear Solid 2? Leave us a comment below or tweet us your responses on Twitter (@nerdrating) and use the hashtag #RetroAchievement.

  • Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon Screenshots Leaked. Life Suddenly Gets Better.

    All photos courtesy destructoid.com
    All photos courtesy destructoid.com

    It seems that this slow moving Friday has now given me a reason as to why I got up this morning. The first screens for the (supposed) DLC Frar Cry 3: Blood Dragon have surfaced and I feel like this may be the culmination of everything that went right in the 80’s minus all the shitty things that happened in my childhood in the 80’s. I swear to God if there is a pair of sunglasses I have to put on to see what aliens look like, I may just lapse into what the medical community calls the “Piper/Plissken coma”.

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  • Hit-Girl Gets Bloody In The New Carrie Trailer

    Photo courtesy beyondhollywood.com
    Photo courtesy beyondhollywood.com

    Remaking movies is popular. We all know this, but remaking classic movies is a different animal altogether. Brian De Palma’s Carrie is definitely a classic and many may wonder why it needs a remake. I would normally be with you…if the movie didn’t have such a damn good looking cast. Now I really don’t think anything can top Sissy Spacek’s performance or De Palma’s creepy as hell direction, but getting Chloe Grace Moretz and Julianne Moore is more than a good start. The movie was originally planned to be released last month, but moved to a spot closer to Halloween which may work in its favor.

    The full trailer has just been released for the remake which releases on October 18th. Check it out below.

    Side note: I hate it that whenever I see or think about anything  from Carrie, movie or book, I instantly think of Skeet Ulrich from Scream giving the pig’s blood speech. Damn you Scream!! Who wants to think of Skeet Ulrich?!! Ever!! NO ONE, THAT’S WHO!!

     

     

  • Retro Achievement List: Star Wars: Shadows Of The Empire

    Photo courtesy gametrailers.com
    Photo courtesy gametrailers.com

    Previously on Retro Achievement List:

    We here at Nerd Rating love achievements and trophies. We are admitted whores for them, but when you think about it, the practice of gamerscores is only seven years old with the introduction of the Xbox 360. We have 30 years of backlogged video games that need to be updated! So that is what we are venturing to do. Our new feature called Retro Achievement List will look back at games of the past and give them a set of achievements to strive for even if they may not seem serious.

    With the news that Disney is shutting down LucasArts as a game developer it has made us look back at the great games the developer gave us over the past 20 years. I have picked Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire because of the sheer amount of time I spent in this game. You see kids, way back in the ancient year of 1996, games for the just released Nintendo 64 were hard to find. I had already collected all 120 stars two times over on Super Mario 64 and shot rockets at every mountainside in Pilotwings 64, so when Shadows hit the system 3 months after the N64 launch, I was clamoring for it like Casey Anthony for another kid. And it was glorious! I mean if you go back and play it today it looks and plays like absolute shit, but back then….my mind was blown. Ship combat and a FPS with a game that bridged Episode 4 and 5, sign me up! But there are no achievements for the game….until now.

    Achievement Unlocked:

     

    *Achievement #1

    Star Wars  1

    After taking down your first AT-AT with a tow cable, go change your pants because you shit them.

    *Achievement #2

    Star Wars 2

    Spend more than thirty minutes floating up and down the same hallway after figuring out the skating trick on Hoth.

    *Achievement #3

    Star Wars 3

    Wait for every enemy to get near a cliff so you can watch them fall off after shooting them.

    *Achievement #4

    Star Wars 4

    Have no regrets when your friends are out having fun and you are trying to shoot every red asteroid for challenge points.

    *Achievement #5

    Star Wars 5

    Ask your mother what she is doing as she walks in front of you with a laundry basket making you fall off the train in Ord Mantell. Not like she is taking care of you or anything, dickhead (I am speaking to my past self here).

    *Achievement #6

    Star Wars 6

    Say “how long is this level” ten times while playing through Gall Spaceport. (Hint: It’s fucking long.)

    *Achievement #7

    Star Wars 7

    Mention how awesome the prequels to Star Wars are going to be to your friends on a daily basis while you play.

    *Achievement #8

    Star Wars 8

    Kick out anyone in your house that questions how you got $70 to pay for your game because you have a job and their mother is a welfare whore.

    *Achievement #9

    Star Wars 9

    Uncontrollably laugh at how funny the name Xixor is as you play with a good amount of pot.

    *Achievement #10

    Star Wars 10

    Buy game again six years later as your girlfriend wonders why you are paying $25 for a game without a box and covered with cigarette burns and a old Jolly Rancher wrapper.

     

    We want to hear from all of you also! What achievements would you add to Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire? Leave us a comment below or tweet us your responses on Twitter (@nerdrating) and use the hashtag #RetroAchievement

     

     

     

     

  • Could Killer Instinct Be Ready For Another Ultra Combo?

    Photo courtesy biasedvideogameblogger.com
    Photo courtesy biasedvideogameblogger.com

    It looks as though Killer Instinct is crawling out of the grave that Fox dug for it. Last year, Microsoft was denied the renewal of the license because Fox had a similar named property and didn’t want to share.

    Well Fulgore days are here again!!!

    Microsoft and Fox have signed what Matlock would call a “Trademark Coexistence Agreement”, which basically means that they have something that is named the same thing, but are cool with each other using the name. See, Fox had a TV show back in 2005 named Killer Instinct and it made no complete sense to fight Microsoft on the use of the name of a show that no one fucking remembers. Oh and the fact that the game came way before the show also.

    Now this does not mean that a new Killer Instinct is on the way, but it does free up Microsoft to start one if they want to. I would think the fact that they signed this agreement would be a tell that they have more Jago action planned for the future.

     

  • Injustice iOS App Is Available Today

    Photo courtesy destructoid.com
    Photo courtesy destructoid.com

    Warner Bros. Interactive announced today that the mobile version of NetherRealm’s [amazon_link id=”B0088I7L76″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Injustice: Gods Among Us[/amazon_link] is up and ready to download on iOS for your iPhone or iPad through the Apple App Store. The game is free-to-play and features a collectible card game to go along with the touch-based combat. If you buy the console version of the game, both will link up for extra content.

    I will sit here and wait on the game’s console release since I have a Windows Phone and can’t play. (insert Windows Phone joke here).

    Injustice: Gods Among Us releases on April 16th.

  • Raven Software Releases Source Code For Jedi Knight To Fans

    Photo courtesy razorianfly.com
    Photo courtesy razorianfly.com

    In the wake of Disney shutting down LucasArts, Raven Software has gone and done the fans a solid by releasing the source code for both Star Wars: Jedi Knight games, Jedi Academy and Jedi Outcast. In the hands of the internet community I am excited to see what will come from so many people having access to this code. This is not to be confused with the Jake Gyllenhaal movie on a train.

    Raven released an official statement about this via Kotaku:

    “Raven is sad to hear about the closing of LucasArts today, we respected them and enjoyed working with them over the years. We wish the best for all the talented people who were let go and hope they find good work in studios in the industry.

    We loved and appreciated the experience of getting to make Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast and Jedi Academy for LucasArts. As a gift to the persistently loyal fanbase for our Jedi games and in memory of LucasArts, we are releasing the source code for both games for people to enjoy and play with.”

  • Pottermore Can Now Be Explored On Playstation Home

    Photo courtesy harrypotter.wikia.com
    Photo courtesy harrypotter.wikia.com

    Fans of the Pottermore social site that expands on the Harry Potter universe and lets users read the book in new ways and is the social hub for everything Harry Potter is now available on the Playstation Home service. All you have to do is link your Pottermore account and you are ready to go.

    This is not just a direct move to Playstation. There are many new things users can entertain themselves with like new trivia, riding on the Hogwarts Express and new mini-games. Check out the trailer below and be happy that you can actually put your Playstation Home to good use instead of wondering why the hell it is just sitting there taking up hard drive space.