Category: Media

  • Red Band Trailer For A Million Ways To Die In The West

    Seth MacFarlane’s follow-up to Ted, which surprised everyone with $550 million worldwide against a $50 million budget, is a wild west adventure titled A Million Ways to Die in the West. MacFarlane stars, co-wrote and directs the movie with a huge cast featuring; Charlize Theron, Neil Patrick Harris, Liam Neeson, Giovanni Ribisi, Amanda Seyfried and Sarah Silverman.

    A new red band trailer has been released for the movie so you know what that means:

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    Blazing Saddles it is not. I won’t write it off with a cast like this. There could be some good laughs to be had provided they were not all in the trailer.

    A Million Ways to Die in the West releases on May 30th.

  • Honest Trailer For Robocop

    How can the guys at Honest Trailers make fun of the original Robocop? It is a near-perfect piece of 80’s American cinema complete with Red Forman telling bitches exactly what to do.

    Leave. He tells them to leave.

    Don’t worry, they don’t make fun of it. In fact, they believe as we all should. The original Robocop is amazing in every way.

    We know that it should not be remade. What is happening can not stop. I will go to see it because I am a huge Joel Kinnaman fan so if I get a decent attempt at “the future of law enforcement” it will be OK. Kind of helps when I have a free ticket as well.

     

  • CM Punk Leaves WWE

    Punk

    When it rains, it pours.

    After Sunday’s Royal Rumble where fans took over the show (props again to Pittsburgh) showing their displeasure for Daniel Bryan’s omission from the match, reports are saying that CM Punk has left the company. He reportedly told Vince McMahon on Monday that he was going home and got on a plane to Chicago. He has been taken off the listed talent for all house shows for the next few weeks.

    There is no way to really tell if this is a work or the real deal but with Punk’s past frustrations I am pegging it as being on the up and up.

    The reason behind his leaving is pure speculation at this point. It could simply be he wants time off and he is more of a two minute notice guy instead of two weeks.

    Maybe he just wanted to film more Grammar Slam.

    Rumors also say it could be because of “returning talent” getting the bigger spots at WrestleMania over guys that have been there for years. He voiced his concerns about this when The Rock returned a few years ago.

    This is the LAST thing the WWE needs at this point. Fans are already nearing a revolt because of Daniel Bryan and now they lose the second largest face on their roster. At this rate that Sting signing better be real because the 30th anniversary of WrestleMania is looking in worse shape than ever.

  • Fat Guy In A Little Singlet- Raw Recap 1/27/14

    Photo courtesy wwe.com
    Photo courtesy wwe.com

    It’s amazing how much you can relate everything to high school. Take the picture above. You have the douche nozzle that uses his looks to bang all the women, then when they break up, shits in their duffle bag. The football jock who can dress however he wants and is “tough”. Then you have the wildcard. That person that is legit fucking crazy and is most likely to beat someone to death with a pipe in the gym basement.

    That’s what Brock Lesnar is: a wildcard.

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    There is a reason they pay Brock all that money. It’s not to talk about diverticulitis awareness. He saved that horrible segment last night between Orton and Batista that had the crowd so excited they chanted “Daniel Bryan”. Granted the masses chanted that most of the night…but not when the bane of Shane Carwin came out.

    Brock still has that aura around him that somebody is going to get a shoe up their ass and a Turkey Tom stuffed down their throat when he is in the ring.

    Last night’s three-way bitchfest has me thinking more and more that there are three possibilities for WrestleMania: Brock vs. Batista, Brock vs. Batista vs. Orton or a fatal four-way adding in Daniel Bryan.

    I know, it is still wishful thinking. After last night it seems that the WWE is relishing in the fact they are dangling Bryan so close to the main event and will jerk him back like they are teaching us a lesson. We are the children and HHH is the horrible father that tells us to touch the stove because it’s not hot, but that bitch is on full heat.

    BTW, who absolutely LOVED the way HHH talked to the crowd in the same voice I am sure he uses when his spoiled ass kids want something? I can imagine in the pre-production meaning how it was discussed:

    Writers- What if they start chanting for Daniel Bryan.

    HHH- Don’t worry. I have handle these little diaper shitters before. I can handle it.

    Writers- But sir, these aren’t childr….

    HHH- Get in the corner! Time out!

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    I am not complaining about the show itself. In the realms of recent Raw’s it was a decent episode. The main event was the only match to really get interested in when it all comes down to it. I liked the stipulation for the six-man tag with the winning team going to the Elimination Chamber although I don’t get the Wyatt’s attacking Cena therefore giving him an easy in to the match. Wouldn’t their plan be to thwart Magilla Gorilla from making it in? Logic…the wrestling fans Achilles heel.

    The Elimination Chamber now has four official members; Sheamus, Cena, Orton and Bryan with Lesnar being a pretty good bet for #5. Now the mystery begins. Who will be the last entrant? If I am wagering money I would say it will be Bray Wyatt. I don’t know how but it solves a lot of WWE storytelling in one match.

    If it ends up being those six that is one LOADED match. I would watch the shit out of that match especially with Lesnar being in his hometown.

    If you were looking for more great matches, this was not the night for you. The Miz and Dolph Ziggler had an OK showing in the first ever (?) Battle of Cleveland with the winner getting to have sex with Drew Carey.

    Photo courtesy wwe.com
    Photo courtesy wwe.com

    WILDCARD!!!!

    Lesnar destroyed ex-mustache and Black Reign then proceeded to “Big Show” them with a chair. Love him or hate him, he is the only guy on that show that would truly make me shit my pants if he came at me.

    A.J. lost ANOTHER match! This time to the other Funkadactyl. The shitty one! Just give us the A.J. vs. Emma match already!

    Big congrats to Jake “The Snake” Roberts on his Hall of Fame induction. He should have been in with one of the first two or three classes but he was on a downward spiral then. Now that he has cleaned up his life it is now time to take his place where he belongs. During his heyday there was no better wrestler on the mic or knew how to sell the crowd on mind games and ring psychology.

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    I will cover the rest of the matches quickly.

    America is better than Mexico. Don’t get mad, the WWE said it.

    Thug life is better than ballroom dancing.

    Being related to The Rock is better than being Ryback (obviously).

    Mexico is better than Jamaica…or is it West Africa. Hell, I don’t know. Kofi lost.

    Going back to the upcoming PPV, the WWE may be doing the fans a “service” by having Daniel Bryan in the match but will the audience accept anything other than a Bryan victory or Brock since it will be in his backyard?

    I want to believe the WWE is smarter than we give them credit for. That they are letting all of this fan uprising fester for a huge payoff at WrestleMania 30. I said I want to believe because I agree with one of my good friends who believes they are staying the course, no matter what, only focused on the WWE Network and new television deal.

    Unless one of you want to climb a mountain and ask some naked oracle like in 300 we will just sit and wait. As much as I love titties, I am fat and I am not climbing a damn thing.

    Oh well, at least I have a new Blacklist to watch.

    Until next week!

    LEGO BOMB!

    LEGO BOMB!!!

     

  • Fat Guy In A Little Singlet- Royal Rumble 2014 Recap

    7184 - fuck_you in_your_house judgment_day middle_finger smoking_skull_belt suit vince_mcmahon wwf

    Last night’s PPV was a turning point for the WWE and not just in the normal way when the Royal Rumble begins the setup for WrestleMania. Neither was this turning point a good thing for the company but it may, in fact, be a good thing for fans of “sports entertainment”. Fans have had enough of the force-fed product and they are letting WWE know it at every show, even more so at last night’s Royal Rumble.

    Lets go through what came of last night’s PPV:

    Cena and Orton are quickly becoming the past whether WWE wants it or not.

    First off, I just want to thank the good folks of Pittsburgh for a showing worthy of a WrestleMania. They voiced their opinion the entire night and it pretty much summed up the voices in the group I was watching with. They let Cena and Orton have it during their title match which was not either guy’s fault. They worked hard and tried to get the crowd involved (especially Orton) but we have seen this song and dance way too many times before. Despite the announcers billing it as “one of the most anticipated rematches of all time” the crowd bellowed out chants of “boring”, “Daniel Bryan” and “we want refunds”.

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    Daniel Bryan has gone past fan favorite to full-scale revolution.

    The more the WWE denies fans what they want, the more they keep revolting. Now this could be WWE trolling every fan with plans to actually put Bryan in the main event of WrestleMania but I am putting my money on it being stubbornness on Vince or HHH’s (or both) part and telling fans what they want. They have done it for the past ten years with Cena and it has made them a shitload of money in merchandise sales.

    Daniel Bryan is different. This doesn’t feel like a natural WWE changing of the guard like Bret Hart from Hogan, Shawn Michaels from Bret or Stone Cold from HBK. WWE influenced each of those movements recognizing that it was each guy’s time to become “the man”. Bryan is ready in every way. The only difference is that the big deals in the company aren’t pulling the trigger on what could be their saving grace. The guy that can easily carry the company for the next 5-7 years. Fans are ready, Bryan is ready, Mick Foley is CERTAINLY ready saying he was “disgusted” with the PPV on Twitter as well as writing a scathing piece on Facebook.

    Bryan had the match of the night with Bray Wyatt to open the show then was left out of the Rumble altogether. With guys like Kevin Nash, El Torito and JBL having spots it makes the omission of Bryan seem even more like a petty move on the WWE’s part. I hope they realize that this can not be swept under the rug. I think they are hoping this is a flash in the pan. They fail to realize how big it truly is…yet.

    The one thing WWE got right last night: Roman Reigns

    reigns

    We all knew that Reigns was the member of The Shield that WWE has big plans for and that started, in earnest, last night. He broke Kane’s record of Royal Rumble eliminations by throwing out 12 guys. Over a third of the entrants! I always figured Kane’s record would always stand. He doesn’t have any streak like Taker or title reigns like Flair to hang his hat on…now all he has is Katy Vick.

    Reigns even had a quick mini-babyface turn last night when it came down to him and Batista as the final two men. The crowd was already burned by no Daniel Bryan, even booing Rey Mysterio as he came to the ring, so when it came down to skinny jeans and Rosie’s brother, it became a decidedly pro-Reigns crowd. We can chalk this up to being another case of “seen this before” syndrome. Batista has been gone four years and should have been getting massive pops…that was not to be. Fans want new guys to get behind even if it is a heel.

    Reigns is going to be a huge deal very, very soon.

    Where does this leave WrestleMania 30?

    This is the $20,000 question. After the Royal Rumble, I honestly have no idea. The only certain thing is that Batista will be in the main event for the WWE Title and the belt we were never supposed to see again. If Orton retains at Elimination Chamber then the 30th anniversary of WrestleMania could end with a match I could give two fat flying rat shits about. There is a possibility that Lesnar could unseat Orton in the chamber (the PPV is in his hometown) and we could get Brock vs. Batista. That matchup, at least, intrigues me. They have never had a match together and it would be two huge, hulking guys (which is what gets Vince’s rocks off) in the main event.

    894 - gene_snitsky heidenreich royal_rumble wwe

    For the sake of guessing, let’s say it is Batista and Orton boring people in the main event. Where does this leave the rest of the roster? They combined world titles (stupid) so you won’t have another title match that really means anything. They may combine the U.S. and IC titles at Mania but come on…

    Bray Wyatt and Cena are on course for a match at WM30 and even though Cena will triumph, I am glad Wyatt is getting this push. I hope they can deliver on the buildup for the match.

    The Sting rumors are swirling as they do every year. This time, there is actually something to it I believe. He is done with TNA and WWE should be backing the Brinks truck up to his house for a short run. A match with Undertaker may not be as great as it would have been ten years ago but the fact of just having those two guys in the ring together would be HUGE.

    The Shield are headed for a breakup (dammit). I think this will lead to a triple-threat match to see who is “the best of the group”.  If this happens, I expect it to steal the show.

    CM Punk gets to waste another WrestleMania appearance against HHH. He will, most likely, face Kane at Elimination Chamber then move on to the “artist formerly known as mutton chops”.

    After losing the tag titles last night and Goldust eliminating Cody in the Rumble, we seem to be heading to a brother vs. brother match. A little soon for me, I think. They still had plenty of time left as tag champs IMO.

    If all of this shakes down this leaves us with six matches with Lesnar and Daniel Bryan drifting around. As I said before, it could be Lesnar and Batista then where does that leave Orton and Bryan? The last thing they need is another match together. Would the WWE possibly go with a Bryan/Lesnar match? I can’t lie…I would want to see that. WWE could be trolling every single one of us and may have a fatal four-way for the title also. It would fulfill Batista’s Rumble win, get Lesnar in the title mix like Heyman has been preaching and puts the biggest name in the company in the spot the fans want to see him.

    Would they actually do that?

    peter dinklage

    Don’t forget, the Raw Recap will be up tomorrow and hopefully we will have a few answers. If not that, at least a whole lot of YES! chants.

     

     

     

     

     

  • Weekend Box Office- January 24-26, 2014

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    People decided to ride along with Kevin Hart and Ice Cube again this weekend. Before you judge me for that horrible beginning please be gentle. It is early and I have no excuse for it.

    After setting the record for biggest January opening, Ride Along easily kept the top spot with $21.1 million with January’s other big story, Lone Survivor, poised to cross $100 million next week.

    There was only one new release this week. I, Frankenstein could not even keep up with the horrid first week of The Legend of Hercules only bringing in $8.2 million. Both of those movies were released by Lionsgate, although I am sure the studio is not worried as they sit on the mound of cash from The Hunger Games franchise.

    1. Ride Along- $21.1 million/ $75.4 million

    2. Lone Survivor- $12.6/ $93.6

    3. The Nut Job- $12.3/ $40.2

    4. Frozen- $9.0/ $347.8

    5. Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit- $8.8/ $30.1

    6. I, Frankenstein- $8.2/ $8.2

    7. American Hustle- $7.1/ $127.0

    8. August: Osage County- $5.0/ $26.5

    9. The Wolf of Wall Street- $5.0/ $98.0

    10. Devil’s Due- $2.7/ $12.8

  • Seven Royal Rumble Moments…Just Because

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    This Sunday will be the 27th annual Royal Rumble event so I figured I would quickly put up some of my favorite moments from the show. There are only seven items, because I actually would like you to have the time to see them all, and because I wanted to leave plenty of room for anyone else to let us know about their favorite moments from the yearly event that begins the “road to WrestleMania”.

    Let us know of some of your memories or link us the video in the comments below. Also, tell us who you think will win this Sunday.

    These are in no particular order.

    2005 Royal Rumble

    http://youtu.be/tUB5L20tlFg

    Easily one of the best eliminations ever came in 2005 when Snitsky went full retard on Paul London. This definitely was his fault.

    2010 Royal Rumble

    One of the most surprising returns because Edge was thought to be on the shelf for four more months. What still burns me is that as I watched this on PPV, two of my good friends were watching it live at the show, but I did get to witness Edge’s last match at WrestleMania the next year, so no worries.

    1999 Royal Rumble

    The only true “holy sh**” winner in Royal Rumble history. Sure, you knew he would not main event WrestleMania but that did not keep me from yelling at the television.

    2012 Royal Rumble

    Kofi has had many memorable Royal Rumble moments. This one sticks out the most to me. He may not ever win the Royal Rumble but he is one of the most entertaining parts every year.

    2008 Royal Rumble

    There have been many returns during the Royal Rumble match. Booker T, RVD and Diesel are some that come to mind. The reason why I picked this was because it was Piper returning to MSG and the New York crowd popping like they should for a legend like him.

    2000 Royal Rumble

    Not having to do with the Rumble match but one of my favorite moments. Tazz made his WWE debut against Kurt Angle and ended his undefeated streak. Angle would go on to win the world title in October and Tazz would go on to have one good match against HHH on Smackdown and get his shirt ripped off by Stone Cold in 2001.

    2007 Royal Rumble

    The final eight minutes of the Royal Rumble was something wrestling fans had been waiting years on. Since making his comeback Shawn Michaels had not gone on-on-one with The Undertaker. As the last two men standing in the match they dazzled the audience and showed us but a taste of what was to come at WrestleMania 25 & 26.

  • Deathlok Is Coming To Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.

    10-great-additions-to-the-marvel-cinematic-universe-deathlok

    Marvel is shaking things up on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. by announcing that Deathlok will be making his first ever live action appearance on the show. The character Mike Peterson, played by J. August Richards, will become the cyborg that is celebrating his 40th anniversary this year.

    Maybe this will help me clear out my DVR of backlogged episodes of the show to get to see the character. To say I have been disappointed by A.O.S. is an understatement. I understand that first seasons are rough sometimes but there were some episodes that I trudged through with no enjoyment. Maybe, with the introduction of Deathlok and appearance of Lady Sif from Thor, the show is turning a corner.

    I think A.O.S. would be better served by 13 episode seasons like Sleepy Hollow. It is becoming increasingly difficult to keep certain kinds of shows interesting for 22 episodes a season.

     

     

  • And The “Please God, Let It Be True” Rumor Of The Day Goes To: Pixar May Make A Star Wars Movie

    201 Disney Star Wars

    Latino Review has come across some rumors (which is what they are good at) about the Star Wars universe extending into the offices of Pixar.

    There are no firm details because this is pure rumor but the rationale makes complete sense with Disney owning both Star Wars and Pixar, so a combination is likely to happen sometime down the road. The thought of it does sound exciting.

    To anyone that would downplay this as a bad idea, I don’t get it. The Star Wars property is not hallowed ground that can only be touched by certain people. Pixar have made some of the best movies over the past twenty years whether they are animated or not and I, for one, want to see what they can do in a galaxy far, far away.

    Now if you will excuse me, I will go watch the first twenty minutes of Up and try to hold in the hurt.

  • Do You Wanna F*** A Snowman? This Hilarious Censored Frozen Video Does

    Frozen has become one of Disney’s biggest hits ever but how would things be if they were a bit more…not Disney?

    Check out this video of some scenes from the movie that have some very well placed bleeps for a whole new Frozen experience. I would pay money to have a version of the entire movie like this.