Aliens: Colonial Marines DLC Infects Your Consoles. I Have Things To Say.

Photo courtesy topshotta.com
Photo courtesy topshotta.com

Alright, today Gearbox released the first of the planned DLC for its giant prison gang rape scene on the Aliens franchise, [amazon_link id=”B005THAX6K” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Aliens: Colonial Marines[/amazon_link]. Just in case you missed our review, give it a peek.

The Bug Hunt DLC is a survival mode where you battle wave after wave of aliens and blah, blah, blah. It sounds like what you find in almost every other multiplayer section of a FPS.

So for the DLC, we will play a little game of numbers.

99.98% of people who have played this game were raped violently from behind by Gearbox.

0.02% is the one guy from EGM who gave this game a stellar 9.0 review for that once proud publication. When you read it, it hurts your soul because it smells of a bought review.

88.7% of players most likely have traded this game in already because of how much of a bastardization of a great film franchise it is.

30% of the remaining 11.3% will buy this DLC hoping, in a last ditch effort, it will make the game worth playing again.

98% of that 30% will realize that they have just wasted 15 more dollars on a horrible ass game.

The remaining 2% will like the DLC and may be mentally retarded.

 


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