Aliens: Colonial Marines DLC Infects Your Consoles. I Have Things To Say.

Photo courtesy
Photo courtesy

Alright, today Gearbox released the first of the planned DLC for its giant prison gang rape scene on the Aliens franchise, [amazon_link id=”B005THAX6K” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Aliens: Colonial Marines[/amazon_link]. Just in case you missed our review, give it a peek.

The Bug Hunt DLC is a survival mode where you battle wave after wave of aliens and blah, blah, blah. It sounds like what you find in almost every other multiplayer section of a FPS.

So for the DLC, we will play a little game of numbers.

99.98% of people who have played this game were raped violently from behind by Gearbox.

0.02% is the one guy from EGM who gave this game a stellar 9.0 review for that once proud publication. When you read it, it hurts your soul because it smells of a bought review.

88.7% of players most likely have traded this game in already because of how much of a bastardization of a great film franchise it is.

30% of the remaining 11.3% will buy this DLC hoping, in a last ditch effort, it will make the game worth playing again.

98% of that 30% will realize that they have just wasted 15 more dollars on a horrible ass game.

The remaining 2% will like the DLC and may be mentally retarded.



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