Nerd Rating

Tag: Virtual Boy

  • 7 Consoles You Probably Thought Were Sh**, And You Were Right

    SONY DSC

    Atari Jaguar

    -Because nothing says “reclaiming past glory” like a “64-bit” console with a controller that actually makes less sense than using a computer keyboard. Alien vs. Predator was admittedly awesome, but White Men Can’t Jump…

    01 Magnavox Odyssey

    Magnavox Odyssey

    -Gets obvious points for being the first home console, but loses them all for having no sound and controllers that looked like you could give ultrasounds with them.

    800px-Vectrex-Console-Set

    Vectrex

    -Because who doesn’t want their video game console to look like the TV screen in the chest of Robocop 2?

    CD-i-910-Console-Set

    Philips CD-i

    -Besides giving us the shittiest Zelda game ever and having a controller that looks like a double-sided dildo head, it retailed for $700…in 1991 money.

    3DO-FZ1-Console-Set

    3DO

    -The Steam Machine of the early 90’s. Made by multiple companies and way overpriced to compete in the home market, yet still sold 2 million consoles. Goldstar made one. GOLDSTAR!

    800px-Virtual-Boy-Set

    Virtual Boy

    -Imagine a 3DS that weighed 5 pounds, sat on a stand (because taping it to your head hurt, FYI), had two d-pads and could only be played in a red color that I can only imagine being used in futuristic dystopian societies to light our crime-ridden streets.

    Sega-Nomad

    Sega Nomad

    How awesome would a portable Genesis be? Pretty awesome if it didn’t have to use 6 AA batteries for five hours of play. Heat from the back of the unit may also scald children’s skin. Not a good PR move.

  • Ouya Console Will Be Out In June. Sold At Best Buy, Target And Others

    Photo courtesy ibtimes
    Photo courtesy ibtimes

    Ouya, the console that helped put Kickstarter on the front page by garnering over $8.5 million in donations, will see its release in June. The system has over 200 titles in development for the Android based system including the hugely popular Minecraft.

    Ouya will cost $99.99 and come with a console and one controller. Extra controllers will be made available for $49.99. Gamestop, Best Buy, Target and Amazon are among the leading retailers that will be carrying the system. If you backed the Ouya Kickstarter then you will be able to buy the system in March.

    Pre-orders are now being taken for the June release. Will the Ouya truly start a console revolution or will it join the eternal closet of damnation with the Jaguar, 3DO and Virtual Boy?

  • R.I.P. Nintendo Power

     

    File this under more childhood memories that are dead. News today has surfaced that Nintendo Power is going the way of the Virtual Boy. Future Publishing said they were going to halt the monthly magazine and that Nintendo showed no interest in picking up the licence again to try and save it. Now granted I didn’t read Nintendo Power on a regular basis anymore but this is sad news still because it was such a huge part of my childhood.

    Who didn’t love reading about the awesome new Zelda game that was promised to be out by the end of the year and wasn’t seen for three years more (i.e. every Zelda game) or keeping up with the continuing adventures of Captain N? Memories….light the corners of my mind. Misty, water colored memories. of the way we were.

    So let’s all shed a single Indian tear and pour a 40 for our dear departed childhood friend Nintendo Power.

    Here’s some old Nintendo Power covers for your time of mourning.