Tag: The Rock

  • Hercules Review (From Someone Who Did Not See Hercules)

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    This is the tale of Hercules, a legend so big that it spawned a TV show which spawned a spinoff called Xena which had Lucy Lawless running around in leather and a possible lesbian relationship with her friend. So just by association to Xena, Hercules is awesome.

    One can see how this could be mistaken for The Legend of Hercules that released early this year. That one starred someone with acting ability of a rock and this one stars The Rock. The Rock looks huge and walks around shirtless, carrying a sword and yelling a lot. His family is killed by something which basically makes this Gladiator with more wrestling and less phone throwing in the case of Russell Crowe.

    One would think that an action movie such as this could be accomplished by any director. There is not any director at the helm of Hercules, there is Brett Ratner. The director that brought the X-Men franchise to its knees (until X-Men Origins: Wolverine came along, then it was bent over for something worse). Ratner will next set his sights on the Beverly Hills Cop franchise, which hit its low point with Part 3, but don’t worry, Ratner can fix that.

    Hercules fights lions, hydras, armies of men and HHH in a cage match. It makes me ready for the team-up movie of Hercules and the main Avatar from Clash of the Titans. They will tag team to go up against Hades and then Harlem Heat.

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    The movie is filled with swordplay, humor and enough furry boots to make you think the Beastmaster will show up with his ferrets. Actually just go home and watch the Beastmaster movies. Yes, this means Beastmaster II: Through the Portal of Time and Beastmaster III: The Eye of Braxus also.

    Can we have The Rundown 2?

    PS- on the so small chance that The Rock sees this, I will see Hercules. I just haven’t had time yet. I know you could kick Kevin Sorbo and Kellan Lutz’s ass at the same time. Don’t hurt me.

     

  • WrestleMania 30 Recap

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    So anything interesting happen last night on Game of Thrones? I only ask because WWE had their own version of the Red Wedding at WrestleMania 30 with Undertaker playing the part of…well, anyone named Stark and Lesnar was the arrows and knives.

    Before I get started full on there are two things I need to get out of the way:

    1. This is not going to be in any order. My brain will jump around as it wants to. I don’t question the madness and neither should you.

    2. I have no problem whatsoever with Brock Lesnar beating The Undertaker.

    Now let me explain #2 to a greater degree. I have maintained for a year or two that a match with The Undertaker at WrestleMania should be used to elevate young talent. Not by them beating him, but by having a great match with him. Lesnar losing last night and even HHH’s third go-round last year with Taker gained them nothing. They were already made men. That is why I thought Lesnar was being wasted at this year’s show by having a match with Taker that he could not win.

    Shows how much I know.

    With Lesnar’s win last night, this cements his place in wrestling history. Like forever.

    FOR-EV-ER

    Giving a young guy the win over Taker makes no sense. You can not predict the future of the business. Maybe you give Roman Reigns the win and he becomes “the man who breaks The Streak”. What happens if two years down the road he becomes an afterthought like Bobby Lashley, MVP or Kennedy, who were all thought to be future faces of the company? You have just squandered The Streak for nothing.

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    With HBK retired and HHH going 0-3, this leaves only two viable options on the roster that should end The Streak: Brock Lesnar and John Cena.

    These men are like Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania 24; they are the only ones that can shoulder the load of being the one who ended something legendary. When you get down to these two it becomes clear that Lesnar should be that guy. People either love him or hate him (and to Brock’s credit, he couldn’t give two shits about it), now that he has ended The Streak, wrestling fans can throw their complete hatred and ire towards him and guess what? He is fine with it.

    But why can’t Cena be the guy?

    Simple. He is the face of the WWE, whether we who hate him would like to admit. He is a decade-long brand and if he broke The Streak, that would very seriously threaten to take away the fans that have stayed true to him for ten years. Why would you even chance that? We keep waiting for this magical heel turn to make things right, but let’s come to the realization that it will not happen.

    That only leaves Brock.

    And here is the thing most people are forgetting; the only man that can ever really beat The Streak is The Undertaker. I am certain this was his call. If he chose the guy and he chose the place, then accept it and don’t forget that he wanted to end The Streak to Mark Henry at WrestleMania 22…so there is that big ass silver lining.

    And now for something completely different.

    Where The Undertaker losing felt like a funeral, the show ended as it should have with 75,000 people chanting “YES” as Daniel Bryan won the WWE World Heavyweight Title. And guess what? Both of his matches were great (as usual). How weird is it to have a champion that night in, night out will give you great matches whether it is on Raw, Smackdown or a PPV? Punk did that for the most part, but even he grew complacent and hum drum during his historic reign.

    HHH showed a lot last night proving that he can still go with the young guys, which I kind of questioned after his past two matches with Taker. His match with Bryan went 25 minutes and it didn’t feel like it. Their styles meshed well together and the finish was super hot with HHH’s post-match beatdown of Bryan.

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    The main event was a masterstroke by WWE and all the guys involved. Batista, Orton and Bryan worked their asses off and brought the crowd back from the dead (too soon?) and had them in the palm of their hands during the last ⅓ of the match. The false finishes worked well especially with the HHH involvement and the short-lived Evolution comeback.

    Side note: I don’t think there is enough Icy Hot on Earth to help Orton’s back after landing on that monitor.

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    Bryan holding both belts as the crowd lost their shit is that reason why we watch wrestling. That will stand next to Hogan slamming Andre, Warrior beating Hogan, Stone Cold passing out to Bret, all the Rock/Austin matches and all the other WrestleMania moments that are carved in our memory.

    Bray Wyatt proved he will be a main guy for a looong time.

    Not just because of that A-MAZ-ING entrance, but showing that he belonged in a big time match with Cena. Yes, Cena won. I know, I know. I oddly don’t have a problem with this because Bray gained a lot just from the feud and the match. And the spot where the fans sang while Bray conducted them…so great. We already know the type of match he can have with Daniel Bryan after their show-stealing performance at the Royal Rumble and now we know he can make a feud with Cena entertaining. Add this to his promos already being the best in the business and I will be following the buzzards for as long as they let me.

    I am running long so I will hit a few quick points:

    -The Shield did not break up (as I predicted). I kind of wished they had after only having a four minute match with Kane and the Outlaws. I know there is going to be one throwaway match on the card but how can the Divas be given ten minutes and the tag titles be on the pre-show and this be given so little time?

    -Cesaro winning the Andre the Giant Battle Royal was absolutely the right decision. Big Show is already…well, Big Show. Cesaro is one of those guys that looks to be one of a few in a generation, like Bryan or Wyatt, that you hang your hat on to be one of the next big things. How big can the Cesaro Section get? We are about to find out.

    -The only reason I am even mentioning the Divas match is because AJ retained her title which is one of the two outcomes I wanted. The other? #Emmalution

    Good point brought up last night by a friend: What if they are keeping the title on AJ to go past CM Punk’s 434 days as champion as a “f*** you” by having his girlfriend keep her title longer.

    -The opening with Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold and The Rock was better than all of last year’s WrestleMania. The night was going to be historic and that just set the tone.

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    Here are my Top 5 moments from WrestleMania 30:

    1. Daniel Bryan leading 75,000 people in a “YES” chant as champion.

    2. Brock Lesnar defeating The Undertaker.

    3. The massive boner-iffic opening for wrestling fans with Hogan, Austin and Rock.

    4. Cesaro throwing Big Show over the top rope and winning the battle royal

    5. My reaction the Lesnar winning which consisted of my hands on my mouth letting out a muffled “Holy Shit” like Kenny from South Park.

    And we still have tonight’s Raw!

  • First Trailer And Poster For Hercules (The Other One)

    http://youtu.be/4JZhGYrgCPg

    Anyone else wanting The Rock to scream “Haku Machente!”?

    Look, I will be honest. This could easily be bad. If it is popcorn movie bad, then it is what I am expecting. I can handle popcorn movie bad.

    What can I not handle?

    Brett Ratner bad. Let’s hope he doesn’t Ratner all over this and make it unwatchable.

    Hercules releases on July 25th.

    Photo courtesy collider.com
    Photo courtesy collider.com
  • 2K Sports Picking One Fans Design For WWE 2K14 Alternate Cover

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    Do you not want The Rock on the cover of 2K Sports first entry in the WWE game universe, WWE 2K14?

    Well then, do something about it!

    2K Sports is giving fans a chance to design an alternate cover for this years game and submit them on Twitter by using the hashtag #WWE2K14COVER. All you have to do is go here and download the art elements and assets and then pick your favorite superstar and create a cover then submit your entry.

    I will be creating the Daniel Bryan “YES” Edition, so if you want to, make all the Bryan covers you can and maybe he will get the nod. You can create one cover per day to enter into the contest.

     

  • New Fast & Furious 6 Trailer Is One Big Eyegasm

    Photo courtesy screencrush.com
    Photo courtesy screencrush.com

    I seriously feel conflicted. I did not care about the first four movies in the “Fast” franchise. I have seen them and just let them blow by me without an ounce of caring.

    What happened??

    They had to go and make Fast Five an Ocean’s 11 heist flick with extra balls and action, add in The Rock and I had to realize that I, in fact, liked the damn movie. Now here we are two years later and I am ready for Fast & Furious 6 more than I really should be. I apologize for nothing.

    I am still confused as to why after Fast Five they did not name this Furious Six. It just works!