Tag: Sting

WrestleMania 31 Recap- Brock Lesnar Is The Greatest Thing Ever

With a pre-show like this, why not make WrestleMania five hours?

The tag match was seven guys going balls out in the ring. I expected nothing going in, but got a Tower of Doom, slingshot backstabber off the top rope and a midget getting put in the Sharpshooter. Too bad half the stadium was still outside getting in line to see it. Cesaro gets a second Mania win. Things can’t be all bad.

“Big Show has never won a battle royal.” With that said halfway through the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal, I knew the outcome. It wasn’t the fact they said it once, it was that they continued to say it. The Mizdow split from Miz got the reaction you expected even though it made Sandow looked like a fool. Why don’t you work with Miz to eliminate Big Show, then turn? Logic, I know. The actual match had its moments. Show eliminating New Day was fun and should have put a “return to sender” sticker on them. Turn them heel, already. Ryback got in his offense. In the end, Show winning isn’t bad. Just…there.

And Axelmania is still running wild.

Seven guys, twenty ladders and be careful with Daniel Bryan.

A story released last week that the WWE is concerned about Daniel Bryan’s health so that is why he has been out of the main event picture. And if we have listened to CM Punk’s interview with Colt Cabana, the logic of putting Bryan in a ladder match makes complete “WWE sense”. I will say I was right in calling that this would open the show and that Bryan would win to get the crowd in a good mood. All of them worked their asses off. Dean Ambrose may actually have new personality from now on because I am pretty sure he had a major concussion after going through that ladder.

The ending with Bryan and Ziggler basically doing “bro you headbutt me and I’ll headbutt you, first guy to die loses” was so, so great. We know they are headed for a program and this was a great way to get some Ziggler resentment started after he beat Bryan twice in a row.

It’s ok, Seth. Things will get better.

Like I said in predictions, Orton was due this one. He lost the title last year, lost at 29 and 28. Throw him a bone. What felt off about this was that it felt like a long Raw match, not a WrestleMania-type match. I blame that on WWE and the squandering of the story over the past month. The thing that IS a WrestleMania moment is this:

Sorry, Evan Bourne. You are now officially erased from WWE memory. What we had to hold onto was your Shooting Star Press into an RKO, but now this has taken over that spot. I love it because it shows forethought by Orton’s character. He know what Rollins finishing move is, when he sees it coming use your weight to launch him. As I said before…logic. You don’t find it in wrestling often, but when it shows up it is like a ice cold drink on a hot day.

This is the most overbooked, Vince Russo finish in WrestleMania history…and I loved every fucking minute of it.

Let’s me be up front; the match itself before all the shenanigans was actually good. Both HHH and Sting went out there and showed there is a reason they had long runs on top. I especially loved the HHH knee that Sting no-sold and then beat his chest. The 1997 in me got excited again.

When the clusterfuck started happening it was the clusterfuckiest clusterfuck ever clusterfucked. DX comes out to save HHH. nWo comes out to help Sting (don’t think about them being friends with HHH or the fact Sting spent time trying to destroy them), Shawn Michaels comes out and hits Sting with Sweet Chin Music.

Jesus H. Christ, if ever there was a time for Buff Bagwell to take time off from being a gigolo and come back, THIS WAS IT!

People may be upset that Sting did the job. He was going to do the job anyway if he faced Taker, so he was destined to start (finish?) WWE 0-1. Maybe this was HHH’s way of getting his win back from Ultimate Warrior at WrestleMania 12.

And there is no forgetting this…ever.

#Wasthisenoughofachance?

The problem with Divas matches at WrestleMania is that all the matches are big so there is no real place to put the match and be fair. After the Orton/Rollins match seemed like the best place, but WWE isn’t psychic. For all they know those two could have tore the house down and the Divas match would have still been fucked. Instead, it goes on after the biggest match in WrestleMania history, star power wise.

The match itself was pretty good. I thought Paige and Nikki’s match from last week’s Raw was better. I am all for long Divas matches. Just give them the same courtesy you give your other big stars and let them hit every finisher in the book multiple times and get the crowd on their feet.

Here is hoping next year’s Mania has AJ, Paige, Charlotte and Sasha Banks involved. Perchance to dream.

Riding on a tank > plastic Terminator suit

Look at that. Bask in it. How glorious is that? I swear if Rusev came out on that tank and then BEAT CENA, I would have changed my profile pic on every social media site to Putin riding a horse shirtless and proclaimed my love for Mother Russia. I would have bought Yakov Smirnoff t-shirts.

The problem I had was not with the match, or with Cena winning. It was that the ending had no drama. One AA and a three count. No kick out with Cena questioning what will it take to beat this undefeated behemoth. Just another Cena ending like we have seen over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

Hi, I’m The Rock and I am here to help fill twenty minutes so the sun can go down more.

Here is my problem; HHH just had a big match with Sting an hour earlier. People have waited fourteen years to see Sting and HHH can’t even sell any effect of the match because he is back in the ring in suit and tie to set up next year’s Mania with The Rock. This is the part of his character I do not like. Be a wrestler, fine. Be a suit, fine. If you are going to do both at least give them both the attention they deserve.

As far as The Rock goes, he is always there to give time where WWE needs. This time he had some backup with Ronda Rousey coming from the front row to hip toss HHH and put her hands on Stephanie which is what happens in one of my fan fictions that I haven’t written, but think about a lot. A whole lot.

One healthy looking deadman

What a difference a year can make. Undertaker looked sickly at WrestleMania 30 and that was before he got a concussion five minutes into the match. This year he showed up looking like what we have grown used to over the past six or seven years. I still maintain that he should have lost last year because of the good it did for Brock, Now we see the good it did for Undertaker. People cared about his WrestleMania matches again. There was no certainty that he would win. When he pinned Bray Wyatt the crowd gave a real pop because their hero had returned to form.

Bray loses nothing with the loss. It is not like last year where the push-killer John Cena worked his magic. Where they go with Wyatt from here is important. He carried the builup to WrestleMania. He needs somewhere good to go from here.

Brock Fucking Lesnar

I will get to the ending, but I need to say this first. Brock is the best. Just the fucking best. To everyone that complains about his part-time schedule and that he is a waste. Go fuck yourself. He is worth every dollar he is paid and ten times over. A man that can eviscerate anyone and you still can’t look away. Even his facial expressions when he started to realize Roman might actually beat him was great. He may not have started out in this industry as a wrestling lover and he may not love it now, but he will go down as one of the greatest to ever be. Get used to it. Suplex city, bitch.

I thought someone from NXT booked the match because it made complete sense. Brock went all Summerslam on Roman for 15 minutes basically beating his ass seven ways to Sunday and had fun doing it. Roman showed he can be dominated and still come back and be a threat to win. He may not be ready now in many eyes (mine too) though I will admit last night showed he is really close.

That ending. If you thought your fantasy ending that you talked about with your friends was stolen last night, join the group. It was the best ending available besides Brock hitting Roman with five F5’s and pinning him in four minutes. Brock doesn’t take a loss and has a beef with Rollins. Reigns had his dream stolen from Rollins when he was so close to beating the unbeatable and he has a beef with Rollins already from The Shield breakup and now Rollins has fucked his dream like they were inmates on Oz.

Rollins is the man who in five years has gone from ROH champion to NXT champion to WWE World Heavyweight to close WrestleMania. He is the type of champion that is very beatable yet should keep the title for a long time because he can weasel his way to victories every month. Not to mention he is the new Shawn Michaels and can wrestle a broomstick and make it look good.

Don’t fuck it up, WWE. (Their going to fuck it up aren’t they?)

March 31, 2015
WrestleMania 31 Predictions

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

This match is a big deal. Cesaro won it last year with full fan support and it launched his career into….yeah. Ok, that is the writers fault, but you see where I am going with this. There are those who should win because of the exposure and big moment it will give them. Damien Sandow and Curtis Axel come to mind. There are those that had big pushes and this would keep that going. Ryback comes to mind. Then, there are those who don’t need to win this match, but will because it is what the WWE does. That will be your winner.

Winner- Sheamus returns and fellas everywhere. A great, big Irish “meh” follows.

Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match

Say what you will, I have enjoyed the rotating IC title theft stuff. Oh no, it makes the title actually have time on Raw and look like superstars want to win it. God forbid. Talent wise, this match is ridiculous. Six of the best workers in WWE and that is not a slight to R-Truth. He is no slouch, either. Ziggler and Bryan are the favorites since it looks like they are headed for a feud. Ambrose will do four or more slingshot clotheslines, Harper will hit Swamp Chin Music and Stardust will be there even though he should have a singles match with Goldust. Bryan winning will put the crowd in a good mood since I think this will open the show.

Winner- Daniel Bryan has another Wrestlemania moment, albeit smaller than last years.

AJ & Paige vs. The Bellas

I really wish this was a fatal four-way for the title. It seems like every WrestleMania we always get a Divas tag or a battle royal with no real emphasis on the championship. The way you make fans start caring is to show that you do too. Paige and AJ should get the win, but I am going with Bryan’s other half and Cena’s better half.

Winner- The Bellas let us know we can look, but can’t touch.

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Talk about a match that should feel way bigger. Orton was gone for months selling the ousting* by The Authority due to a few Curb Stomps by Rollins.

*filming a movie

WWE waited to build this by wasting a few weeks of Orton rejoining The Authority which made fans go a bit tepid even though they knew where it was headed. Orton is 4-7 at WrestleMania’s so a win here would be good and make up for him losing to Kane at WrestleMania 28, which I still shake my head at. Rollins loses nothing by the loss since he still is a threat with the Money in the Bank contract.

Winner- Randy Orton punches the ring and hits a Diamond Cutter.

Bray Wyatt vs. The Undertaker

If we were going by selling a feud, Bray Wyatt should be the second man to beat Taker. Despite a few hokey turns, Wyatt has gone above and beyond on the mic which has to be the hardest thing to do week after week when you have an opponent that has not been seen in a year. I still think Brock winning last year was the right call which means that this year Bray is set to lose at Mania again to a big name. Unlike last year, losing to Taker will not be a push killer. Only Cena can pull that off.

Winner- Undertaker makes up for last year (concussion, I know) and gets back in the win column.

John Cena vs. Rusev for the United States Championship

America, fuck yeah. Coming along to save the mother fucking dayeeeyeah. That should be the only sentence. How great would it be for Rusev if he beat Cena? His winning streak would be validated more than ever and it would bring the OMG moment of the night. Sure, he can lose to Cena at Extreme Rules, but no one cares about that years from now. They will remember him beating Cena at WrestleMania.

Like I said, how great would that be?

Winner- John Cena shows Rusev that freedom cost a buck o’ five.

Sting vs. HHH

This is the right match for Sting for his first, hopefully not last, match in WWE. We all want him to face Undertaker, but HHH can work with anyone. Both guys are up there in age, yet the big stage is where they thrive. I expect a slow start that builds to a great final few minutes. I hope they don’t overplay the whole “bat vs. sledgehammer” thing because it makes HHH look like a moron (even by wrestling story standards).

Winner- Sting kicks out of a pedigree, beats his chest, Stinger Splash, Scorpion Death Drop. 1,2,3.

Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship

The match that people (including me) have crapped on since the Royal Rumble turns out to be the most unpredictable WrestleMania main event in a while. Brock’s announcement of his re-signing is the best thing WWE could have hoped for. The match has a variety of possibilities opened up now. Will WWE have Reigns win clean? No, that would be damaging to what they have spent the past year doing with Brock’s buildup. Will Brock win clean? Quite possibly. It would only help further his place as an unbeatable monster and help whoever eventually beats him (even Reigns later on). My thinking is that we get a Paul Heyman betrayal and double-turn. Embrace the boos for Reigns and pair him with Heyman who can bring the voice Roman is still lacking. Brock gets a rematch at Summerslam as a face and becomes even bigger than he is now. Hard to imagine, but I think it could happen.

Winner- Roman Reigns woooahhhhs his way to a win, with Heyman’s help.*

*I picked this, yet I do not want it. Full disclosure.

March 26, 2015
Fat Guy In A Little Singlet- Royal Rumble 2014 Recap

Last night’s PPV was a turning point for the WWE and not just in the normal way when the Royal Rumble begins the setup for WrestleMania. Neither was this turning point a good thing for the company but it may, in fact, be a good thing for fans of “sports entertainment”. Fans have had enough of the force-fed product and they are letting WWE know it at every show, even more so at last night’s Royal Rumble.

Lets go through what came of last night’s PPV:

Cena and Orton are quickly becoming the past whether WWE wants it or not.

First off, I just want to thank the good folks of Pittsburgh for a showing worthy of a WrestleMania. They voiced their opinion the entire night and it pretty much summed up the voices in the group I was watching with. They let Cena and Orton have it during their title match which was not either guy’s fault. They worked hard and tried to get the crowd involved (especially Orton) but we have seen this song and dance way too many times before. Despite the announcers billing it as “one of the most anticipated rematches of all time” the crowd bellowed out chants of “boring”, “Daniel Bryan” and “we want refunds”.

Daniel Bryan has gone past fan favorite to full-scale revolution.

The more the WWE denies fans what they want, the more they keep revolting. Now this could be WWE trolling every fan with plans to actually put Bryan in the main event of WrestleMania but I am putting my money on it being stubbornness on Vince or HHH’s (or both) part and telling fans what they want. They have done it for the past ten years with Cena and it has made them a shitload of money in merchandise sales.

Daniel Bryan is different. This doesn’t feel like a natural WWE changing of the guard like Bret Hart from Hogan, Shawn Michaels from Bret or Stone Cold from HBK. WWE influenced each of those movements recognizing that it was each guy’s time to become “the man”. Bryan is ready in every way. The only difference is that the big deals in the company aren’t pulling the trigger on what could be their saving grace. The guy that can easily carry the company for the next 5-7 years. Fans are ready, Bryan is ready, Mick Foley is CERTAINLY ready saying he was “disgusted” with the PPV on Twitter as well as writing a scathing piece on Facebook.

Bryan had the match of the night with Bray Wyatt to open the show then was left out of the Rumble altogether. With guys like Kevin Nash, El Torito and JBL having spots it makes the omission of Bryan seem even more like a petty move on the WWE’s part. I hope they realize that this can not be swept under the rug. I think they are hoping this is a flash in the pan. They fail to realize how big it truly is…yet.

The one thing WWE got right last night: Roman Reigns

We all knew that Reigns was the member of The Shield that WWE has big plans for and that started, in earnest, last night. He broke Kane’s record of Royal Rumble eliminations by throwing out 12 guys. Over a third of the entrants! I always figured Kane’s record would always stand. He doesn’t have any streak like Taker or title reigns like Flair to hang his hat on…now all he has is Katy Vick.

Reigns even had a quick mini-babyface turn last night when it came down to him and Batista as the final two men. The crowd was already burned by no Daniel Bryan, even booing Rey Mysterio as he came to the ring, so when it came down to skinny jeans and Rosie’s brother, it became a decidedly pro-Reigns crowd. We can chalk this up to being another case of “seen this before” syndrome. Batista has been gone four years and should have been getting massive pops…that was not to be. Fans want new guys to get behind even if it is a heel.

Reigns is going to be a huge deal very, very soon.

Where does this leave WrestleMania 30?

This is the $20,000 question. After the Royal Rumble, I honestly have no idea. The only certain thing is that Batista will be in the main event for the WWE Title and the belt we were never supposed to see again. If Orton retains at Elimination Chamber then the 30th anniversary of WrestleMania could end with a match I could give two fat flying rat shits about. There is a possibility that Lesnar could unseat Orton in the chamber (the PPV is in his hometown) and we could get Brock vs. Batista. That matchup, at least, intrigues me. They have never had a match together and it would be two huge, hulking guys (which is what gets Vince’s rocks off) in the main event.

For the sake of guessing, let’s say it is Batista and Orton boring people in the main event. Where does this leave the rest of the roster? They combined world titles (stupid) so you won’t have another title match that really means anything. They may combine the U.S. and IC titles at Mania but come on…

Bray Wyatt and Cena are on course for a match at WM30 and even though Cena will triumph, I am glad Wyatt is getting this push. I hope they can deliver on the buildup for the match.

The Sting rumors are swirling as they do every year. This time, there is actually something to it I believe. He is done with TNA and WWE should be backing the Brinks truck up to his house for a short run. A match with Undertaker may not be as great as it would have been ten years ago but the fact of just having those two guys in the ring together would be HUGE.

The Shield are headed for a breakup (dammit). I think this will lead to a triple-threat match to see who is “the best of the group”. If this happens, I expect it to steal the show.

CM Punk gets to waste another WrestleMania appearance against HHH. He will, most likely, face Kane at Elimination Chamber then move on to the “artist formerly known as mutton chops”.

After losing the tag titles last night and Goldust eliminating Cody in the Rumble, we seem to be heading to a brother vs. brother match. A little soon for me, I think. They still had plenty of time left as tag champs IMO.

If all of this shakes down this leaves us with six matches with Lesnar and Daniel Bryan drifting around. As I said before, it could be Lesnar and Batista then where does that leave Orton and Bryan? The last thing they need is another match together. Would the WWE possibly go with a Bryan/Lesnar match? I can’t lie…I would want to see that. WWE could be trolling every single one of us and may have a fatal four-way for the title also. It would fulfill Batista’s Rumble win, get Lesnar in the title mix like Heyman has been preaching and puts the biggest name in the company in the spot the fans want to see him.

Would they actually do that?

Don’t forget, the Raw Recap will be up tomorrow and hopefully we will have a few answers. If not that, at least a whole lot of YES! chants.

January 27, 2014