Tag: Reviews

Review: Star Trek: The Video Game

Photo courtesy dapsmagic.com

Set Phasers To Meh

I am a lifelong Star Trek fan. Not a bandwagon since 2009 when J.J. Abrams made it cool to like the adventures of the Starship Enterprise. Now do not get me wrong, I absolutely loved the 2009 reboot and applaud everyone involved for making Trek accessible to a whole new generation. Now, this summer we will be getting the much anticipated follow-up, Star Trek Into Darkness, and with that comes the dreaded words….movie tie-in game.

I first saw footage of Star Trek at E3 two years ago and was generally excited about what I saw. A buddy co-op space adventure starring Kirk and Spock with influences coming from the Mass Effect series and Gears of War, two of my favorite franchises ever. The game was set for release in 2012, but was given a whole extra year of development time to coincide with the release of the movie sequel. I made the mistake of thinking that this would help the game become more than the run-of-the-mill movie game and yet here we are, in 2013, with exactly that.

Star Trek is set after the first film (obviously), but it does not bridge the two movies. For that you will need to pick up IDW’s four issue mini-series, Star Trek: Countdown to Darkness. The game plays out as more of an extended episode of the series with the new crew. One long, long episode. All the good will that is built up in the first hour or two of play is wasted when the story stretches out way farther than it needs to. By the end, you are wondering exactly how much longer you will have to pry open one more door, hack one more door lock or fall off a ledge from the game not reading your jump command.

Photo courtesy uverseonline.att.net

Gears of Kirk? Spock of War?

Star Trek has you choosing to play as Kirk or Spock at the beginning of the campaign, but I never really saw much of a difference in the two. The makers have said that Spock was to be played as more of a logical, stealth option while Kirk a headstrong, shoot-first type. In theory, this sounds good, yet it is not actually implemented in the game. You have the option of stealth during multiple missions and it doesn’t matter which character you are playing as to do it because once the shooting starts both you and your A.I. partner have a license to kill.

The main plot involves a Vulcan scientist who has created a source of energy called the Helios device which will aid the Vulcans in the creation of New Vulcan. Due to sabotage, the device opens a rift in space which allows creatures known as the Gorn to pass through. These creatures appeared only once in the original series in the famously cheesy fight with Capt. Kirk.

Give Uncle Scrotor a hug

But now they have been given a modern makeover and appear much more dangerous. You will find many different variety of Gorn to fight like the green Gorn, red Gorn, blue Gorn and multicolored Gorn. Sensing a theme here? One of the main problems with Star Trek is the complete lack of enemy variety. Now you will have some levels that have you fighting infected Vulcan or Federation officers where you stun them and choke them out, but the majority of your time is spent obliterating one lizard or another. Now I know this is the essence of every shooter, but at least with games like Gears of War there is enemy variety. The Gorn are literally different colors with different weapons.

Cover mechanics are not bad or good, they are mostly serviceable. There is no melee attack to speak of unless you stun your enemy first making for some weird situations when you have someone running up on you and you can not quick fire to hit them. Don’t expect to melee them back, just run away, turn around and fire again. There is an attempt to have an upgrade system for health, tricorders and weapons, but it is rudimentary at best. You use your tricorder to scan your environments for alien plant life, audio logs and new enemy types to add to the data log which gain you XP. Spend as you wish on phaser upgrades or tricorder abilities like healing your partner. The useless part of this is that you can easily beat the game without upgrading one single item.

The Voice of Reason

The two aspects of Star Trek that truly do excel are the music and the voice work. The music takes pieces of Michael Giacchino’s 2009 soundtrack and mixes them well with new samples that work very well in the Abrams reboot universe. The voice acting is also on the good side. Chris Pine seem to be having fun voicing a video game character and his Kirk is just as cocky and headstrong as his cinematic counterpart. Zachary Quinto’s Spock is equally up to task and there were multiple moments where his interaction with Kirk was very enjoyable and worthy of the movies. The rest of the cast is here as well including Simon Pegg, Anton Yelchin, Karl Urban and Zoe Saldana. Sadly it sounds like Saldana read her lines at gunpoint with someone telling her to sound as disinterested as possible, kind of like her role in Avatar.

Photo courtesy jjplace.com

Star Trek has a lot of good ideas and ambition that never comes to the surface. You can tell the influences that drove the game throughout, but it never gets past mediocrity. The sections on board the Enterprise are a bit of fun and the voice acting is a treat (except for you Zoe) while the music is too good for the product it is attached to. If they could have tightened up the controls and cut a couple of hours of the blah plot, Star Trek could have been better than average. It overstays its welcome and the final few hours are spent on bland looking alien ships that test your patience. If you find this in a bargain bin for $20 and are a Trek fan, by all means pick it up, but for a full priced $60 title, there is a lot left to be desired. As melty as I get over Chris Pine’s voice, it is not worth the price of admission.

May 3, 2013
Review: Injustice: Gods Among Us

Photo courtesy segmentnext.com

All’s Fair In Love And Killing Your Wife

Things are bleak in Injustice: Gods Among Us, the newest fighter from Mortal Kombat developers NetherRealm. How bleak you may ask? Oh, just that Lex Luthor has given The Joker a nuclear bomb that he uses to completely obliterate Metropolis. So you think that would naturally piss off Superman. Were not done yet. The Joker also drugged Supes into thinking that Lois was Doomsday so he flew her out into space killing her and his unborn child.

Damn. Cold blooded.

So naturally Superman loses his freaking mind and does his best impression of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and rips out The Joker’s heart.

Kali Ma. Kali Ma. Kali Ma.

Wait…I hear you saying. I thought this was a fighting game. And you would be correct. Injustice has a full-fledged story mode like 2011’s Mortal Kombat and it is simply fun as hell to play. Crazy Superman has taken over the Earth and is forming it to the crime free society he desires…by any means necessary.

Don’t worry this is a comic book story so there is multiple dimensions to save the day!

Batman from batshit crazy Superman dimension transports Justice League members over to his version of Earth to fight the tyranny of Superman. You will play as the majority of characters in the story mode and each section will give you four or five fights per character making the story mode the most entertaining way to learn a lot of fighters ins and outs.

There are 24 characters that make up Injustice’s roster and that is not including the four additional fighters coming in future DLC. The variety that NetherRealm threw in the game is refreshing. Sure, you are going to get your DC mainstays like Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, Lex Luthor and The Joker, but they have featured characters that do not normally get very much time in the spotlight except to lifelong comic fans. Hawkgirl, Ares, Black Adam and Raven are not household names and NetherRealm has done a wonderful job making these “lesser” characters feel like they not only belong with the big boys, but can handle their own against them.

Photo courtesy gigaventure.com

Hi, I’m Batman. I Will Be Punching Your Face This Evening.

Combat in Injustice feels a lot like 2011’s Mortal Kombat and that is a good thing. NetherRealm created a good combat engine and they transferred that here while tweaking a few of the collision issues. Controls are boiled down to three buttons for attacks and a fourth for a hero’s special ability. This could be anything from Batman calling in three explosive floating bat-bombs to Aquaman creating a water based shield around his costume to reduce damage for a small amount of time. These abilities regenerate after a few seconds and can help to extend combos in some cases and add a new small layer of strategy to each fight.

Character special moves have very different feels to them for each character and fits the personality of each fighter well. Aquaman uses his trident, The Joker has his Jason Todd-killer while The Flash uses his super speed to whip you into shape. Playing through each of the characters in battle mode (your normal MK mode where you make your way through ten different fights in a row) will yield some pleasant surprises. This is the best mode to learn every aspect of a fighter, especially ones not playable in the story. You can not simply learn a character fully without spending time with multiple fights. Going outside your box of favorites may have you developing a new found fondness for a hero and villain you never thought would grab your attention. When I left my Superman, Batman and Green Lantern and began to focus on other characters I found just how awesome and varied that attacks were. Before I knew it I did not want to move away from Green Arrow, Ares, Shazam and others.

NetherRealm has absolutely loaded Injustice to the brim with so many modes, extras and unlockables. When you find yourself past the story mode and even after you have blasted through battle mode with all 24 characters there are the S.T.A.R. Labs section. The S.T.A.R. Labs will have you taking control of all 24 heroes and villains in mission based fights or mini-games. There are 240 missions total and each one comes with a star rating of one to three. Each fight has a set of parameters to meet and you receive a star rating depending on how well you do. The more stars you earn, the farther you can go into the S.T.A.R. Labs. Some of these can be easily attained and some of them had me wanting to kick my television in the face. That, to me, is the sign of a good fighter.

Photo courtesy polygon.com

Let’s Get Interactive

There are a total of 15 arenas to choose from in Injustice and all of them have a list of interactive objects to use during your fights. These make the game feel truly more like a fight in the comic world than anything else. Want to hit your opponent with a motorcycle outside of Wayne Manor? Go for it! Roundhouse kick them Chuck Norris-style into Aquaman’s throne in Atlantis? Go ahead, Texas Ranger. Things get violent on an even bigger scale when you obliterate opponents through walls setting off an unfortunate chain of accidents which lead to another arena.

http://youtu.be/ZFwZd-Ur1_A

With every fight, no matter what mode you are playing in, you will gain experience points allowing you to level up. As you progress upwards you will begin to gain access code cards which you can spend to unlock character costumes and loads of other goodies. Character cards, booster packs and even unlockables that link from the Injustice iOS game that ensure if you want to 100% this game, you will be spending a lot of quality time bashing in Sinestro’s face. Do not take this for a simple fight ladder type of game. There is real depth here.

Make no mistake, Injustice is NO Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe. NetherRealm has taken the best things from 2011’s Mortal Kombat including an engaging, multi-dimensional story and given comic fans a true fighter that is a worthy successor to MK, but also (hopefully) a mighty new franchise. The sheer amount of modes and extras to unlock is a bit mind boggling. I applaud the developers for taking a chance and not simply churning out a Mortal Kombat sequel (which I would not be against by the way), but taking a different avenue. Comic fans and fighting game fans will be hard pressed to find something as fun…until Lobo is released as DLC that is.

April 30, 2013
Scott’s Review: Bioshock Infinite

I will just go ahead and be honest with all of you right now. As I sit down to write this review I am having trouble finding the exact words to begin to describe Bioshock Infinite. I mean that in the best possible way of course. As my brain processes all of what I experienced in the city in the clouds named Columbia, I begin to have that same sense of wonder that I was left with after I played 2007’s Bioshock with one significant difference: Bioshock Infinite took everything I loved about the original and improved it greatly while adding what is easily the best written story of this gaming generation.

Now before we begin I want you all to know that this will be a spoiler free review, so have no fear while you are reading along. I will take the more difficult road and temper my want to just expose everything I discovered in this game because I love all of you. That is not to say that me or my fellow colleague, Trey Sterling (who will be reviewing the game also), will not have a later article discussing the complete epic mindfucks that happen in this game, but not today and not here!

Pitch Perfect

You begin the game as Booker DeWitt, a man that has led a life that has been quite unsavory. He has fallen in deep with the wrong people and has agreed to take on a peculiar job in order to clean his slate. You are being led out to a lighthouse in a roaring storm on a boat being rowed by two strangers. A lockbox is handed to you with a photo of a girl and other items. The message is very clear as to what your job is. Bring them the girl and wipe away the debt.

Once you reach the lighthouse, you make your way inside and are greeted with a basin of water to wash away your sins and biblical sounding messages framed on the wall. You make your way to the top and sit in a chair when when walls begin to close around you. Sound familiar? Instead of burrowing your way down into the underwater city of Rapture, you are rocketed skyward and when you break through the clouds you are treated to your first view of the floating city of Columbia. After landing you make your way into the city via unusual means and your adventure begins.

One of the many, many things that Bioshock Infinite does right is that you are given ample time to explore and fully take in how fully realized the city of Columbia is. Citizens live their lives as you walk among them. They have conversations while kids play in the streets. Shops occupy not just business sections, but also, some float on there own and connect with other parts of the city to give patrons a chance to peruse their stock. You can walk up and view other floating parts through telescopes placed around. It is every bit as memorable as the first time you stepped foot into Rapture only this time instead of a cold, dead society you are greeted with a warm, lively version of 1912 America. Take your time and enjoy the quiet serenity, because it does not last.

The proceedings take a sudden and very racially charged turn and before you know it you are enemy number one floating thousands of feet above the ground with no where to go except towards your cargo. When you first begin combat it will feel very familiar to the original Bioshock with one noticeable difference being the Skyhook. The Skyhook is a spinning hook that is wearable on your left hand and is used in transporting yourself around the city on the sky rail system and also as a vicious melee weapon. You also have a pistol, your health bar and your vigor gauge (which takes the place of plasmids). You begin with a simple possession vigor which can be used to take over turrets in your favor and even other humans and have them attack others. Vigors are refilled with salts which can be acquired through bottles, vending machines and various other loot items found throughout the world of Columbia. As you begin the game, you will feel a sense of trepidation when using vigors, but have no fear, you can upgrade them as well as your health and shield (new to the Bioshock series) by finding infusions scattered throughout.

There are eight total vigors in Bioshock Infinite and they will be familiar to fans of the series, even with the new names. My personal favorites were Murder of Crows and Shock Jockey, especially when used in conjunction with each other. Shock Jockey is, of course, an electric field you shoot out of your hands Emperor Palpatine-style and Murder of Crows sends out a Hitchcock-like swarm of birds to eviscerate your enemies. Devil’s Kiss send out a fiery ball to set men ablaze while Return To Sender catches enemy projectiles and lobs them back. I won’t go through every one of them because I want you to have the pleasure of discovering them and finding out all the unique combinations that are possible.

Tear Columbia A New One

Just as the combat experience in Bioshock Infinite begins to feel like you might be in for a repeat of the previous adventures to Rapture, you are introduced to Elizabeth. She is the daughter of Columbia’s founder, Zachary Comstock, and the girl you are supposed to bring back from Columbia to wipe away your debt. She is trapped away in a monument and been carefully watched her whole life by the scientists and zealots of Columbia, but why? Why does Comstock keep his only daughter locked away from all outside interference and have literary propaganda thrown about the city promising she is the future savior of Columbia? Perhaps the fact that she can tear open the fabric of time and space to see anything she wishes in any time period. Yeah, that would do it for me too.

When you rescue Elizabeth from her tower prison you discover she has been protected and cared for by a huge, mechanical creature called the Songbird which you should know if you bought the massive $150 collector’s edition. He will make occasional visits to screw up your journey.

Once Elizabeth joins you in your escape from Columbia, this is when combat fully opens up and separates itself from the original Bioshock. You don’t have to worry about this being one big, long, annoying escort mission. Elizabeth can take care of herself and before the game reaches its completion she will have saved your sorry ass more times than you can count. She is always readily on hand and ready to toss you anything you happen to be lacking during the many frenetic gunfights you will encounter. You will see a prompt come on screen and Elizabeth yell at you and simply press the corresponding button and she will supply you with health, salts or ammo. I will warn you not to become overly dependent on this though because there will be times, especially during lengthy battles, where she will run out of supplies. So don’t get cocky and expect her to always come along and pull you out of the fire.

The biggest addition to combat in Bioshock Infinite is the fact that Elizabeth can open tiny tears in space and make available to you new ways to get the better of the people hunting you down. She can summons sentry guns, mosquitoes (floating automated machine guns), walls for instant cover, medical stations and even skyhook connections that allow you to get the higher ground in a hurry. You may consider yourself a Bioshock expert with your learned use of weapons and vigor combinations, but it is the mastery of those two things and Elizabeth’s abilities that will truly make you feel like you are a badass. You could play through this game over and over again and no two battles will ever be the same. Do you take cover behind a wall created by Elizabeth and use your vigors and weapons like a cover-based shooter? Have her create a skyhook connection and get to higher ground, rain down some Shock Jockey then take out a few guys with your sniper rifle? Have her summon a patriot and as your enemies are focused on him, sneak around and flank your enemies? My brain is literally spinning right now trying to remember just how many different variations I used and all the new ways I can try on my next playthrough.

A quick word to the wise when it comes to upgrading your abilities: build up your shield first. The shield is new to Bioshock Infinite and is a life saver on many occasions. It will regenerate unlike your health so getting this to maximum quickly is a very good idea. I actually upgraded my health last after my shield and vigors. My shield recharges and I can find food everywhere for small boosts until I could find a vending machine for a refills. I used my vigors almost constantly so upgrading them second just made sense so I could have more uses of my powers.

Enemies in Columbia range from meh to memorable. In Rapture you were truly freaked when you came across splicers for the first time or when you watched the Big Daddy lumber by on the other side of the glass. Columbia has a wide range of enemies, but none really jump out at you…with the exceptions of the Handyman and Boys of Silence. The easiest way to describe the Handyman is to think of the big badassery of the Big Daddy and let him run fast and jump far so he can be all up in your face before you know it. The Boys of Silence are only used in one area of Columbia, but it is more than memorable. You must remain unseen or they can call in an army of dead creatures. Believe me, after one time, you will quiet the hell down. The other members of the rogues gallery like firemen or soldiers do not give you the same feeling as the denizens of Rapture. They feel more like cannon fodder.

Infinite Possibilities

This is the hardest part of my review to write. I have to convey to you how truly amazing the story is without possibly giving away anything. Bioshock Infinite could be called many things. A look back on the racial tensions that has marred this country for generations. An indictment on American culture today when it pertains to the working class and the one percent. A look at family and how the dreams of parents for their children are not always what is best for either party. Bioshock Infinite is layer after layer of storytelling and as you delve deeper into Columbia you may think you have a grasp on what is going on, but you truly have no idea. There is one event about 85% into the game where you believe a big reveal happens and you begin to think that maybe your idea about the ending was a bit muted and disappointing and you, like me, will be completely wrong. I promised a spoiler free review and dammit that is what I am going to do, but I honestly have to tell you that the last thirty minutes of Bioshock Infinite left my jaw agape and my controller nearly slipped out of my hands. I can not stress enough that you should let no one ruin the end of this game for you. This is coming from a cynical bastard that does not care about spoilers. Don’t do it.

You should know that the skyhook system does not make this game into a huge open world adventure. Now that is so minute that it should not register when weighed against the overall incredible feeling of this game, but I feel that I need to let you know that. The skyhook is used in combat (amazingly) and it is used to funnel you betwen areas, like a fancy ass tunnel system from Batman: Arkham Asylum. You can go back and forth between areas as you want for side missions and what not, but don’t go into Infinite thinking you are going to be getting Bioshock: San Andreas. I am pretty sure if you are playing Infinite then you are familiar with the structure of the original Bioshock, but I had to put that out there for new adopters.

I can not say enough about the experience that is Bioshock Infinite. I have tried to explain how you immediately get lost in the world of Columbia and how smooth and free-flowing the combat is, yet there is no real way to truly put into words just how deep, emotional and satisfying this game is.

What Ken Levine and the team at Irrational have been able to craft with Bioshock Infinite is nothing short of awe inspiring. If you thought you got lost in the immersion of Rapture then you haven’t seen anything yet. It is a one of those surreal experiences of gaming bliss that only comes along a few times in a gaming generation. Bioshock, Mass Effect, Uncharted 3, all these belong in the same company. Bioshock Infinite should be held higher than all of them. It has taken everything that was good about Bioshock and made it great. That alone should tell you exactly how wonderful a game we are dealing with here. Then add to it that it also improved what made Bioshock great, adding in the greatest story of this console generation, and what you are left with is gaming history.

April 16, 2013
Review: G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Photo courtesy heavy.com

Yo Joe! Or No?!

Let’s just go ahead and get this out of the way in the beginning of this review, I liked the first G.I. Joe. Do not get me wrong, I am not going to recommend that anyone go out and buy it on Blu-Ray instantly, but it was the definition of a popcorn flick. A dumb action flick that had its moments and some fun also. Now in 2009 we also got Transformers 2 and that was also dumb, but not for the same reasons G.I. Joe was. I know, opinions are very fu**ed up things. I did not mind the first G.I. Joe and yet Shia going to robot heaven actually made me feel stupid sitting in the theater.

Since 2009 we have already had to sit through another Transformers movie and we are just now getting a sequel to The Real American Hero. Now G.I. Joe was set for release last summer, but a mere month before release it was quickly moved almost an entire year to 2013. The studio said it was to give them time to post-convert the film into 3D since well, you know, it makes more money. Then there were rumors swirling abound that it was to go back and let Channing Tatum re-film more footage since the same rumors also said that his Duke character bites it in the movie.

SPOILERS AHEAD

It seems the studio was telling the truth because the film was indeed converted to 3D and Channing Tatum does indeed get ended by Cobra in the first fifteen minutes. And guess what? It was the smartest decision the franchise could have made, because as much as I defend the first movie as big, dumb fun, it left a bad taste in a lot of people’s mouths. So with G.I. Joe: Retaliation we are getting a reboot of sorts that still remains in the same movie universe.

The part that works with Retaliation is that we are trading in Channing Tatum and Marlon Wayans for Dwayne Johnson and Bruce Willis. Who would not want that kind of move for an action sequel?

When we left the world at the end of G.I. Joe, Cobra Commander and Destro were locked away while Zartan was still in place as the imposter President of the United States. After Zartan calls in a surprise strike against the Joe’s, in which only Roadblock (Johnson), Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki) and Flint (D.J. Cotrona) are left, Storm Shadow breaks Cobra Commander out of prison and Cobra has a big bad plan for world domination.

After this, the story wisely splits in two. One path has Roadblock, Jaye and Flint trying to convince the original Joe, Joe Coulton (Willis), that the POTUS is an imposter and they need his help trying to expose him. The second path follows Snake Eyes an Jinx as they hunt down Storm Shadow to find out what information he knows about Cobra’s plans. This really helps the movie avoid any kind of slow down that you normally would feel halfway through. In one aspect you are getting a guns blazing actioneer and then you are swapping over to a martial arts film complete with the RZA as a blind sensei and ninjas sword fighting on the side of a mountain.

Knowing Is Half The Battle

So yeah, Cobra is trying to take over the world and the what not. The plot will not exactly win any awards, but really, are you going to see this for that? Why did you watch G.I. Joe as a kid (assuming you did)? You wanted to see the cool characters, weapons and action. Luckily we get all three of those. The new characters are much more memorable than the previous entry and each is given their own opportunity at some bad ass moments. I know Channing Tatum is Hollywood’s “IT” guy right now, but Bruce Willis and Dwayne Johnson can carry an action flick in their sleep. Even though I did not care for A Good Day To Die Hard, I still say Willis can get it done easily when guns are involved.

I worried that director John M. Chu would be overwhelmed with a film of this size. I mean could you really blame me? He got the job after directing Step Up 2&3 and the Justin Bieber movie Never Say Never. Yeah, exactly. Chu has taken the helm and like a great Barney Stinson moment he has said, “Challenge Accepted”. Fight scenes are quick paced, but never overwhelming and there are plenty of things that go boom. There is one especially unique fight between Roadblack and Firefly (Ray Stevenson) that is an up close gun battle within arm distance that I can honestly say I have never seen before. I have to give credit where it is due.

I got exactly what I was expecting out of G.I. Joe: Retaliation. I wanted a followup to the original that felt like I was watching an episode of the 80’s cartoon. Does that involve some chuckle worthy dialogue? Yep. Did it change the fact that I had fun with the characters and manly man things? Nope. If you liked the first film (even a little bit like me), this is a good improvement and shows that the franchise could have some legs if handled properly. If you did not like 2009’s film then this should be a massive improvement over what you got. Go in expecting a fun, popcorn shoot em up that replaces the weak parts of the first film with stronger anchors and have fun.

Now you know…

April 1, 2013
Scott’s Review: Tomb Raider

OK if you follow us here at Nerd Rating on a normal basis (and why wouldn’t you?) you should know how excited we were to finally get our hands on [amazon_link id=”B00A7QA0XE” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Tomb Raider[/amazon_link]. I have been posting every bit of news, trailers, survival guides, any piece I could get my hands on to get you just as excited. The game has been on everyone’s radar since E3 2011 when Crystal Dynamics showed off the first bit of gameplay and wowed everyone on the floor. The team decided to take Lara back to the beginning and show exactly how she became the dual pistol toting, short short wearing adventurer that we first went gaga over back in 1996.

Did they succeed in bringing Lara back to the forefront of gaming? Let’s take a look and see.

I’m just a girl, in the world.

You are thrust into the story of Tomb Raider much quicker than you might think. Just as you are getting used to seeing this new, younger Lara and her shipmates there is a massive storm and you are washed up on shore after your ship has been broken apart at sea. You find yourself knocked out by someone and regain consciousness hanging upside down in a cave surrounded by dead bodies and a creepy “it puts the lotion on it’s skin” vibe from your surroundings. After freeing yourself, you immediately feel a sense of helplessness that is quite new from most games. You are not a raging badass marine or an ex-con with a load of weapons, you are a scared young woman with not a knife, or hell, even a rock in your possession.

It is in the beginning parts of Tomb Raider that Crystal Dynamics takes some of the biggest chances. For the first hour or so it is a mixture of learning basic controls and quick time events. Now don’t let the dreaded QTE get you down. This is all done with the express intent to have you more involved in Lara’s dire circumstances on the island and happen far less as you get into the real meat of the gameplay and gunplay. Even when you begin brandishing your first piece of weaponry, a bow stolen off of a rotting corpse, you still have this overall feeling of impotence against what the island has in store for you. It may be weird to read this, but I rather enjoyed this part of Tomb Raider. Hoping my torch would not go out from running water in a cramped, claustrophobic cave of hearing the howl of a pack of wolves that are coming is the way more games should handle the beginning hours of a hero’s story.

Now if you have read more than one review about Tomb Raider then this is going sound very familiar, but it is probably because it is one of the major trip ups of the game. Over the first hour or two of the game you are introduced to a very human Lara. She shows sadness in her face the first time she has to kill a deer in order to eat on the island. When it finally comes time in having to choose between being (possibly) sexually assaulted and killed or taking a life, it is handled in such a meaningful and dramatic way that you really feel that this game can do no wrong.

And then it does wrong.

There is no easing Lara into the process of killing. Once she has evacuated the first man’s head of brain matter, the game thrusts you into the role of killing machine that we are used to. It takes all the previous good works and says “fu** it, here is your action”. But even in one of Tomb Raider’s biggest slip ups, it finds one of its greatest attributes. When you begin to carry pistols, shoguns and more, the controls and gunplay are superb. I did find the quick transition into human grind machine very stark and contrast to the beginning of the game, but dammit if I did not have fun with what the game was throwing at me. As a man who loves Uncharted and will until the day I leave this mortal coil, I can truly say that these controls are what Nathan Drake should only hope to be. I hope Naughty Dog is taking notes off of this because this will be on the Uncharted 4 test. Lara moves with such ease and fluidity. There is no need for a cover button because the game’s auto cover system actually…..get this….WORKS! She naturally takes cover when close to nearby threats and can run out without having to worry about getting stuck to environments or going behind the wrong wall. Whoever at Crystal Dynamics designed this deserves a raise and a nice big cookie because this should be used by every adventure game from here on out.

Beyond that, Lara’s movements around the rest of the island feel natural. Platforming is just freaking fun especially with the verticality of the levels. The level design lends itself to multiple paths in which to avoid enemies or give two or three different options on how to take them on. Running, jumping, using the climbing ax to ascend and descend rock faces, making rope bridges to climb over gaps and so much more are available to help Lara discover all of what the island has to offer and it all just plain works. I can not applaud the controls enough.

The island is not exactly open-world, but it takes the Arkham Asylum approach to make it feel like the massive levels all interconnect together to create an open-world game. Every open area has its own section on the overall island map and holds its own litany of collectibles to be found and tombs to be raided. There are diaries of various characters that will open up the story, GPS caches scattered throughout and various artifacts to be discovered. All of these are basically here to serve two purposes: to get you more XP so you can upgrade Lara’s abilities and weapon uses and to completely piss off OCD gamers, like myself, that need to see a 100% completion number by your game save.

Lara’s upgrade system is not going to set the game world on fire with how unique it is, but it gets the job done. Most of her abilities are what we have seen in every game such as taking less damage from falls and stealth kills. There is a good reason to upgrade all of these because you are awarded a different melee kill with every weapon you have equipped. When an enemy attacks and you dodge, you are given a small window to hit the Y button and incapacitate your opponent then they are at your mercy for a brutal, bloody kill.

The weapon upgrade system is a mixture of unneeded fluff and useful tools. While I don’t really care about putting a silencer on my pistol when I am going in guns blazing, I do have to upgrade my bow parts to be able to make rope bridges and attach a grenade launcher to my assault rifle to blast into new areas. Tomb Raider has mixed the fluff and needed together well enough so you don’t feel like you are simply wasting your time upgrading most weapons. Realistically there is a point you can stop when you unlock all the new ways to get to previous areas, but I was already engrossed with getting the achievement points that there was no reason to stop there.

Lara and the smoke monster

Tomb Raider creates such an entertaining locale with the island that it is a bit of a down note to say that the story is not up to par with the rest of the production. When Lara’s adventure begins there is any number of directions that the story could have gone. But you realize all too soon that she is the only fully developed character in the game. The rest of the people are a veritable who’s who of video game cliches. As I think back on the game, I am trying to remember any of the names of Lara’s shipwrecked crew that I spent the game trying to save and I can only think of one and that is just because she may have had lesbian feelings for Lara and well…I am a guy. Survival is your main motivation, but don’t expect much in the way of caring about your group enough to rescue them. Honestly I am glad, for their sake, that it wasn’t a choice like at the end of Far Cry 3 because I would be the only one getting out alive.

When you become aware of the “twist” in Tomb Raider’s story it is a big disappointment. Guess what?? It’s supernatural!! If Uncharted had not already blew my dick off with that back in 2006 then I would be agape with surprise. There were so many more places to take this story, especially with the great and noticeable nods to TV shows like LOST and movies like The Descent. Don’t get me wrong, you won’t make your way through Tomb raider rolling your eyes or anything, but you are not going to tell people to pay 60 bucks for its story either. It is just a shame that they spent so much time making Lara such a real and relatable protagonist that it is doing her a disservice by surrounding her with a forgettable secondary cast of characters and a hokey story that has been done before (and in Uncharted’s case, better).

Don’t get me wrong, when Tomb Raider does something right, it does it very right. The game is visually stunning and really should be at the forefront of any argument as to why this current generation still has a lot of life left in it. There were times going back through the game to find all the collectibles that I would stop for a moment and appreciate just how much work went into making this game a realization. The story does leave something to be desired, but that is why we have that wonderful word: sequel. Crystal Dynamics has crafted a game that is a solid stepping stone for a new Lara Croft that will hopefully yield greater results in the future. Gameplay is as smooth as any action game and the upgrade system is more than serviceable. If Crystal Dynamics can get Lara a better cast of characters and a stronger story then there is no telling just how great the next Tomb Raider game could be.

Welcome back Ms. Croft. You are a survivor.

March 19, 2013
Review: Oz: The Great And Powerful

Photo courtesy ign.com

There are few directors that could be given $200 million by Disney to recreate the feel of a classic movie. Actually they gave Joseph Kosinski that to make Tron: Legacy, so maybe that money amount doesn’t mean what it used to. Sam Raimi is one of those directors that should be entrusted with that and it shows through in Oz: The Great and Powerful. Every penny is apparent on screen and even if the script or performances don’t break any new ground, it is a visual treat that should be enjoyed by anyone who remebers The Wizard of Oz fondly from their childhood.

If you are reading this review then I am assuming you have seen the classic film at least once and know the breakdown of what went on. Oz: The Great and Powerful begins much like Dorothy’s tale, in black and white. Oscar Riggs (James Franco) is a two bit magician in a traveling circus who has aspirations of great fame and wealth. He makes a quick escape from a strongman with a broken hearted sister in a hot aired balloon just as a tornado hits and he is whisked away to the colorful world of Oz. He soon meets Theodora (Mila Kunis), who tells him that he is the great wizard that the land of Oz has been waiting for to free them from the evils of the wicked witch.

Theodora’s sister Evanora (Rachel Weisz) is in the Emerald City and does not believe so quickly that this stranger is who he says he is. Little known to everyone in Oz, Evanora is, in actuality, the wicked witch and has framed her sister Glinda (Michelle Williams) for killing their father. She convinces Oscar to hunt down and destroy Glinda so she can have Oz all to herself. Evanora uses her sister’s feelings for Oscar to transform her into the true wicked with that we all remember from the classic tale. And yet with all the green makeup and weird facial features Mila Kunis is still hot. I would just have to act like I was Capt. Kirk and have some fun times with a green chick, but maybe that is just me.

Oscar ends up learning the truth and teams with Glinda and the citizens of Oz to battle the two evil witches. Which of course means a battle at then end of the movie. Like Alice in Wonderland, Snow White and the Huntsman and Jack the Giant Slayer, it must end in a big fight at then end with sneaking and misdirection winning the day. It does feel a bit familiar. But not so much that it detracts from the overall feel of the movie.

Photo courtesy hollywoodreporter.com

Oz does hit a stretch at the beginning of the third act that makes you think they were simply trying to extend runtime and show as much pretty on the screen as they could. It really could have used about twenty minutes trimmed off of the length and things would have moved along at a much smoother pace.

Make no mistake, this movie is pretty. Sam Raimi is a very visual director and it shines through when you watch Oz. There were some scenes that I can only imagine how headache inducing the 3D would have been. All the childhood remembrances are there. The yellow brick road, the emerald castle, the poppy fields and yes, flying monkeys that should easily scare the sh** out of your child.

There is no way not to watch this and not compare it to 2010’s Alice in Wonderland with one exception, I believe Oz holds up a bit better. That is to say that the performances in Alice (anchored by Johnny Depp) were superior to this, but the inner child hiding underneath all this bearded fury is more connected to the land of Oz from all the multiple viewings of The Wizard of Oz than Alice’s adventure. The look and familiarity of the world is much easier for me to connect with. Some people are cheshire cat people and some are munchkin all the way and I do love some midgets.

Look, if you are expecting Oz to be a movie that you remember ten years from now then you may be in for disappointment. Go into this with no expectations and you may be pleasantly surprised by it. It looks stunning on the big screen and while the main characters won’t exactly win any awards, all of the look, feel and imagination of the land of Oz is still there.

Like I said, it’s all familiar and sometimes that is not a bad thing.

NERD RATING- 7.5/10

Photo courtesy ifc.com

March 11, 2013
Review: Aliens: Colonial Marines

Aliens + Gearbox= A Winner….Right?

Gearbox Software has become a major player in the video game world with the rise of the Borderlands franchise. Both entries into the series have been massive critical and retail successes and Gearbox has reaped the benefits. So it was no surprise that their game based on the beloved Aliens film was high up on many people’s list. A true sequel to James Cameron’s sci-fi classic from the developers of Borderlands. What could go wrong?

Everything apparently.

First off we have to put things in perspective. Gearbox did not finish this game. In actuality, no one outside of the developer really knows exactly how much of this game was worked on by actual Gearbox employees. You see this game has been in development for six years and Gearbox…actually we will get into that a bit later.

Aliens: Colonial Marines has you playing Winter, an everyman marine that is sent to investigate the distress signal set off by Hicks in the film Aliens. Somehow the U.S.S. Sulaco has made its way back to orbit around LV-426 and you and your squad are sent in to see why the ship has mysteriously appeared back there. Right off the bat you cannot help to realize that the script and voice acting in this are horrid. I don’t even mean like in the hard ass military jargon or anything because there are plenty of games that get that right without being laughable, but Colonial Marines is like one of the direct to DVD Starship Troopers bad.

You can tell that some love of the Aliens franchise was in this at one time. Some of the environments, James Horner’s score and even bringing back veteran actors Lance Henriksen and Michael Biehn to reprise their roles of Bishop and Hicks. But everything that was supposed to make this game a treat for Aliens fans is handled so poorly and lazily that all of the good that made it in the game is overpowered by the heaps of utter uselessness that was in the final product.

Is This Really Happening?

I don’t know exactly where in the development process things went wrong for Colonial Marines, but it is evident that this game needed to be re-worked or scrapped altogether. For almost two years we have been shown demos that showed off a pretty good looking game graphics wise, but the game that awaited me was riddled with so many graphical hiccups that it truly appeared as if I were playing first year 360 title. I could probably put Doom 3 on the original Xbox up against this and this would win…but only by a small fraction. Lighting problems, floating shadows, rampant clipping and piss poor between mission cinemas keep you detached from any sense of world immersion. When aliens explode from gunfire its not so much disgusting collapse of a body as it is a sloppy explosion into eight square pieces.

If you are used to FPS’s that have minute controls and like to pull off quality headshots then I suggest you go looking elsewhere. Sloppy aiming is rampant with almost no sense of true control in the middle of a firefight. Even with the additon of add-ons (in a poor attempt to make the game seem deeper) to various weapons you will still have a frustrating time trying to pop off aliens or Weyland-Yutani soldiers with any precision.

One of the best things about the movie Aliens was the sense of helplessness. The fear that the xenomorphs brought was undeniable. You find none of that here. With the exception of one decently designed level in the sewers of Hadley’s Hope where you are without weapons and must make your way through aliens that can only sense you by sound, you always have a host of weapons on your person. At one time I had eleven weapons at my disposal as well as grenades so any fear I would have from the aliens was non-existent because of me basically being an unstoppable badass. When there is no sense of dread, there is no Aliens.

The multiplayer is just an added on feature that feels like it is there because it is what is required in today’s games. Even the chance to play as the xenos trips up with huge balance issues that make the marines the hunters not the hunted. Sloppy controls hinder any kind of fun that could be gleaned off of this. Multiplayer runs well enough and I had no problem finding parties , but when it is as generic and stunted as this it would almost be a blessing if you couldn’t.

My Soul Hurts

Please do not be fooled by Aliens: Colonial Marines. You may read this and think this review is coming from a place of hate from an uber-fan, but I assure you this is not the case. While I am a fan of the highest regard for this film franchise I still went into Aliens with high hopes despite the hellish development stories and other reviews. I played this game with a set of rose colored glasses and still came out feeling like I had sh** thrown at me.

Beyond my wildest imagination I could not imagine that after six…damn…years that this game could have shipped like this. Even if Gearbox subbed out the game to secondary developers there should be more than what is offered up to gamers here. For a quick comparison here are some of the games that have come out in the last six years:

-Uncharted trilogy

-Mass Effect trilogy

-Red Dead Redemption

-Grand Theft Auto 4

-Fallout 3

-Skyrim

-BORDERLANDS 1 and 2 from Gearbox!!

Think of all the millions of hours and GOTY awards that have been split with this list of games over the past six years. How can anyone tell me that this game should have taken this long to make and come out this bad and broken? Even when the story takes a chance and reveals a MAJOR character long thought dead is actually alive, the explanation given is simply “that’s another story”. No it’s not!! That is the story! That’s why it is such a big deal!! And therein lies the problem with Aliens: Colonial Marines. We have waited so long for a great Aliens game and expectations were met with something unexpected.

Laziness.

NERD RATING- 4.5/10

February 20, 2013
Review: A Good Day To Die Hard

Photo courtesy teaser-trailer.com

Die Hard 0.5

John McClane is back again for his fifth adventure, this time teaming up with his grown-up son to take on a group of political radicals in the heart of Russia. There is just one problem with this; A Good Day To Die Hard is not really much fun and as a Die Hard fan it hurts a bit to watch.

As this Die Hard opens up we see that John McClane’s son Jack has gotten himself arrested for murder and is facing Russian justice so he heads off to Moscow to try and help out his “misguided” son. Truth being that Jack is in actuality a C.I.A. agent that has placed himself in his situation to rescue a Russian prisoner and get him out of Moscow in return for a mysterious file.

One of the best things the first three Die Hard’s did so well was great setup and character development. A Good Day to Die Hard abandons all this and literally within the first fifteen minutes McClane has found out where his son is, said goodbye to his daughter, had a taxi ride with a singing Russian, survived a courthouse bombing and is chasing down Jack and the Russian baddies through the streets of Moscow while causing rampant destruction. While you watch this it feels like you are about 30 minutes ahead of what your watch says. While that may work for standard action movies these days, for a Die Hard movie it seems like lazy filmmaking. There is no character development at all to this film. But we will get to that a bit later.

Photo courtesy tumblr.com

When Live Free or Die Hard was released back in 2007 it was the first in the series to abandon the “everyman” John McClane. That is one of the reasons the first three movies in the franchise worked so well. He was a cop. He made mistakes. He was a smartass and he had a sh**y family life. It was just that he was in the wrong places at the wrong (or right) times. LFODH set up McClane as almost indestructible. Like a bald, American James Bond who could take out helicopters with taxis. A Good Day to Die Hard continues this formula and even goes more over the top with some of the things that should break any normal man, but this McClane barely has a limp.

The sad part about this is that Willis can play the role of John McClane in his sleep. He does it here. The swagger, the chuckle, the smart ass comments. It’s all here, but the characters and script around the character are so very weak.

Pacing and character development are two of the serious offenders like I mentioned earlier. The movie’s breakneck speed, which may help action movies these days, is a detriment to a Die Hard movie. There is no time to develop any of the characters like Jack or the villains because the movie is too busy going from one explosion set piece to another. I really feel sorry for Spartacus alum Jai Courtney as Jack McClane. He is a great actor and could have worked a whole lot better as Willis’ son….if he had more to work with.

The presence of a memorable villain is non-existent. While I was not a big fan of Live Free or Die Hard, I did think that Timothy Olyphant’s role was a good one and worth remembering. This go round there are so many multiple Russian who all have there own agendas that by the time the main villain is revealed (20 minutes before the movie ends mind you), you really have given up even remotely caring about why he is there.

This is by far the shortest of the Die Hard’s. Where most run right at two hours or a little over this entry clocks in at only 97 minutes. Which is easy to see why when you watch the movie and see that there was not much material to work with and abandoned all hope of making you care about the players.

Photo courtesy inquisitr.com

I hope A Good Day to Die Hard does well in theaters which may sound weird given what I have just written, but here me out. There is still good material left for the John McClaine character. I have no doubt there is. I hope that A Good Day to Die Hard does not make people jaded towards the franchise. They just need to scale back the super-hero John McClane and get back to what made the first one so great. Develop a memorable villain, good setup and put in a worn down NYC cop who just happens to be there trying to do his best.

A Good Day to Die Hard is disappointing and not because of Willis. He was made to play John McClane, but the McClane character has got to get better and more realistic aspects working for him. If this was a normal run of the mill action flick it would be on the decent side, but being this is Die Hard we are talking about there is a higher standard that this needs to reach. Now I am going to celebrate the franchise’s 25th anniversary by watching the first three entries.

NERD RATING: 6.0/10

February 16, 2013
Review: Sleeping Dogs

Welcome To Hong Kong. Come Stay Awhile.

Sleeping Dogs took quite the interesting development trail to release. First, the game was being developed as the next in the True Crime series. After continual delays and budget concerns Activision cancelled the game. After about six months Square Enix picked up the game and let United Front Games finish development and Square took up publishing duties. I am glad that Square decided to take a chance on Sleeping Dogs (which Sqaure is not known to do really). There is a lot of good going on in this game including a John Woo quality plot, refined combat mechanics and open-world driving that is just plain fun. While the game may not be as large as the Grand Theft Auto’s, there is no doubt that Sleeping Dogs is a welcome addition in the sandbox category.

You play the game as Wei Shen, a cop that has returned to Hong Kong from the States and is arrested after getting busted on a bad drug deal. He is offered a chance to infiltrate the Sun On Yee gang because of his friendship with a member of the gang, Jackie Ma. Jackie takes you to meet the leader of the Water Street Gang, Winston. The Water Street Gang works under the Sun On Yee to complete all the tasks they need completed whether it be drug runs, collecting protection money or just straight up murder. Winston is having trouble with an old member named Dogeyes, the leader of a rival gang that is trying to muscle in on the Water Street Gang’s territory. This is where you spend a good bit of the first third of the game. As you complete more missions for Winston and gain the trust of the Water Street Gang you find yourself getting suck in deeper and deeper into the triad lifestyle.

As Wei begins to get more involved inside the Sun On Yee, the stakes begin to get raised more and more. Not only are you becoming well know by all the power players in Hong Kong, you also have to stay accountable to Pendrew, the man who is leading the investigation into the Sun On Yee. This is where Sleeping Dogs separates itself from other open-world games like GTA or Saint’s Row. While the story is set in stone with how it plays out, you have three separate menus for upgrading your skills: the Police, the Triad and the Face.

Police XP is gained by completing investigations marked on your map with blue shields. these could be simple drug busts, which have you beating the crap out of a gang of thugs, hacking a camera on the corner they work, then head back to your apartment and watch the closed feed for a drug deal. Once the dealer is identified a simple hit of the button and the cops are on him in a minute. Many of the investigations are multi-part affairs that involve things like the illegal street racing scene to women being kidnapped and sold into the sex trade. Triad XP is marked by green shields on your map and will move forward the Sun On Yee portion of the story. At first you will be completing collection missions for Winston but soon find yourself showing rappers a night on the town and revenging your fallen brothers. A lot of the missions play out like a Chinese Godfather complete with betrayals and red weddings. Face XP are marked as yellow on your map and these are simple side quest missions that raise your face meter, or what the citizens of Hong Kong think about you.

Kung-Fu Upgrade

The reward for completing all of these missions are the upgrades you receive. Each category has its own set of skills that are awaiting you. At first you find yourself simply breaking out windows to steal a car. Wouldn’t you rather just carry a slim jim with you to get quick access? The upgrade system is not as deep as Far Cry 3, but there is a lot to unlock and it is fun to try out all the abilities you open up. Once you learn how to “action jump” from your car to a speeding car you truly begin to see how Sleeping Dogs is an homage to cop movies also.

Your fighting abilities are also full of upgrades. You are tasked with finding statues around town and returning them to your sensei, Master Sifu. With each statue returned you will learn new ways to combat your enemies. Combos, roundhouse kicks and even limb breakage are in your arsenal before long and you will want to use them…a lot.

This leads to what is the best thing about Sleeping Dogs, the combat. One of the weakest aspects of games like GTA is that hand to hand combat and even gunplay is not particularly fun. Even when GTA 4 implemented their loose cover system, it only seemed like a minor upgrade that was avoiding a bigger problem. Sleeping Dogs has solved the problem of fighting in open-world games. How you might ask? Simple, you take your lead from the Rocksteady Batman games. When entering into hand to hand attacking enemies are highlighted in red right before they attack. Timing your counter is essential to survival in Sleeping Dogs, especially when you take on groups of 9, 10, or more guys. You can not simply go in swinging away or you will quickly find yourself with a beaten ass. When you have the counter timing down there is no better feeling than opening up your inner Bruce Lee on hosts of enemies. Striking actually feels like you are hitting and kicking something. Breaking opponents legs or arms will make other opponents cringe for a split second giving you an advantage against them.

As if simply beating your opponents to a pulp with your fists and feet weren’t enough, you have the wonderful world of environmental kills. By grabbing your opponents everywhere you can kill them using the environment will be lit up in red. Throw them into a garbage can, crack their skull against a brick wall, electrocute them in a fuse box and even impale them on a meat hook Texas Chainsaw style. You wanna feel like Joe Pesci in Goodfellas? Play Sleeping Dogs. Wei Shen will show you how to get things done.

You Want Beethoven Or Soufly Today?

Driving is another area that Sleeping Dogs is a winner at. It still amazes me that after all the Grand Theft Auto releases we have had that driving in that series still feels floaty and not too realistic. Saint’s Row and now Sleeping Dogs has figued out how to solve this equation and I hope Rockstar can with GTA 5. Cars handle extremely well and feel like they have weight to them. At super high speeds you always feel in control, but still have the inkling that you are one bad move awy from an epic crash and that is a good thing. You may find yourself, as I did, spending a lot of the game driving a motorcycle around Hong Kong. While I had my fair share of cars I bought for my garage (which can be accessed throughout many parking structures placed throughout the city), I always seemed to go back to the ease and fluidity of the motorcycle. Especially when you have to weave between traffic on the interstate system or chase suspects, it is an obvious choice.

Like other open-world games, Sleeping Dogs has a complete audio experience when you are in a vehicle. While the soundtrack may not be as big as GTA, it certainly is just as varied. Boosey and Hawkes carries your classical selections from Bach to Tchaikovsky, Sagittarius has your 80’s mix reminiscent of Vice City, a complete channel dedicated to Roadrunner recording artists and multiple Chinese artists on other stations. There really is no more surreal experience than shooting armed enemies in a car chase and seeing their car explode as you are listening to Handel’s Messiah. Yeah, you just read that correctly.

Choosing Sides

Wei Shen’s story is equal parts respect, loyalty and towards the end of the game, terror. While the characters in Sleeping Dogs are ruthless in their profession, no matter what side of the law they are on, the last 45 minutes to hour of the story goes much more dark than you expect, even after all of the blatant murder, betrayal and sex. When all the players in this game of human chess are in place the lines are so far blurred that Wei finds himself not choosing black or white, but standing in a muted gray splattered with red. Sleeping Dogs really does play out like a video game version of a John Woo film and no, Stranglehold does not count. Think of Wei Shen’s story as Hard Boiled with a controller.

Sleeping Dogs is just plain fun. There is no simpler way to put it. Its story will keep you engrossed, especially if you are a fan of Chinese cop movies (here). While you won’t be running around beating people to death with a purple dildo like Saint’s Row 3, there is still plenty of sexual innuendo like going to get a special “massage” to up your face meter. The representation of Hong Kong is not as big as Liberty City, but it is quite large and is the perfect mix of feeling like a big city while also being memorable enough to remember where to go without looking at your map every five seconds.

What I am trying to get at it that Sleeping Dogs may be the new kid on the block when it comes to open-world sandbox games, but it carves its own niche in the genre. People may only think of the GTA’s or Saint’s Row’s when the conversation comes up, but in a perfect world, Sleeping Dogs interjects itself right in the middle of it with a perfectly placed roundhouse kick.

NERD RATING- 8.5/10

February 8, 2013
Review: Hotel Transylvania

Photo courtesy animationmagazine

Maybe Adam Sandler has found his new niche in Hollywood. While the actors live action movies have been hitting a brick wall lately, Hotel Transylvania is his biggest hit since Grown Ups almost two and a half years ago. And while it doesn’t exactly blaze new trails in animation or even come close to touching Pixar’s unquestionable quality, it does serve as a mostly enjoyable Halloween romp.

Count Dracula (Sandler) has built an immense castle dubbing it Hotel Transylvania, a place where all monsters can come and vacation away from the real world and be human free. Drac really has a secondary reason for the hotel being so well hidden. His daughter Mavis (Selena Gomez) lives with him and he never wants her to leave the castle so he has spent her entire life filling her head with all the reasons why humans are the most horrible creatures in existence. Now it is time for her 118th birthday and on the eve of her huge party, which will be attended by all of Dracula’s (and Sandler’s) friends Frankenstein (Kevin James), the Wolfman (Steve Buscemi), Invisible Man (David Spade) and the Mummy (Cee Lo Green), her father has promised her that she may leave the castle and explore the village closest to them for a few minutes.

After she realizes that humans are terrible creatures, thanks to Dracula’s horde of zombie bellboys playing humans, Mavis promises to stay at the castle forever. During her party a human named Jonathan (Andy Samburg) happens upon the castle. Dracula thinks quickly and dresses him up as a long, lost relative of Frankenstein to keep the guests of the hotel unawares that a human is in their midst. For them to find out would be the end of the hotel.

As is expected, Mavis and Jonathan fall for each other and he shows her and all of the guests that there is a lot more fun to be had in life if you just open yourself up more.

What did you expect? It is a kids movie. It is not like we are dealing with Inception here.

Photo courtesy nydailynews.com

While all the voice performances are good and the animation is serviceable, Hotel Transylvania does play it safe plot wise. We get the boy meets girl, boy leaves girl, friends band together to get boy back story. The jokes are more kid based and don’t have quite the adult bite as some other animated features, but that’s OK. This movie wasn’t made for the fat, cynical, Adam Sandler weary crowd like yours truly.

That is not to say there is no fun to be had in Hotel Transylvania. I had more than a few chuckles with jokes involving the zombie bellboys and Jon Lovitz’s performance as Quasimodo, who plays the foil of the movie as he tries to catch Jonathon and make a human pot pie out of him.

Also fans of Samurai Jack, Dexter’s Laboratory and Star Wars: The Clone Wars should take note and give this a watch because it is directed by the legen-wait for it- dary Genndy Tartakovsky and his certain vibe can be felt throughout the film. It is a good start for his feature film directorial debut and hopefully the film’s success will get him looked at to handle more animated features.

Hotel Transylvania has some good stuff going for it. A solid voice and quality director keep this movie from dragging into the Ferngully’s of kids films. It has its share of laughs and can easily be a Halloween movie to enjoy with your family. Your kids should have a great time with it and as an adult you can take it from me, you can watch a lot worse movies that have vampires in lead roles. Much, much worse.

NERD RATING- 7.5/10

February 5, 2013