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  • Life Finds a Way: A Discussion and Review of Jurassic Park in IMAX 3D

    Jurassic-Park

    Earlier this month, Jurassic Park finally got a stand-alone blu-ray release; it had previously only been available as part of a trilogy boxed set. The kicker – as in it kicked me right in the gut – is that this is the “Twentieth Anniversary Edition” release. Now, I’m not usually one for fretting over the fact that I am growing older; nor am I oblivious to the release dates of my favorite films from over the course of my life. But having the information thrust upon me in this fashion was a bit disconcerting.

    Because, you see, I still have very vivid memories from seeing it at the impressionable age of seven-going-on-eight: The intensity and confusion of the opening raptor attack; the wonder and rapture of the brachiosaurus reveal; the gut-tightening tension of multiple T-Rex escapes. Over the past two decades, I have carried the emotional impact of those spectacles with me through countless viewings of the film.

    I was, of course, ecstatic to hear that it was being re-released into theaters as well, and in 3D no less. When the opportunity presented itself to go see the new version on a theatrical IMAX screen, I could barely contain my excitement. I have no doubt that I annoyed my girlfriend, who had never seen the movie at all, with my demands that she be as excited as I was. That’s not to say she wasn’t excited – she genuinely enjoyed the experience – but I was unfairly expecting her to somehow feed off my own fervor.

    Imagine my surprise, then, when I realized that I wasn’t too far off from being a first-time viewer myself: Sitting in that theater, I somehow managed to watch a twenty-year-old film in IMAX 3D and take away more substance than spectacle. In a way, this review is more a way for me to share that experience than anything else. If you’re eagerly anticipating my final verdict, I’m afraid to tell you you’re in the wrong place.

    Now, for the article proper. We’re going to try something a little different; instead of me just writing paragraph after paragraph of text, I enlisted by good friend Bryant from The Truth Inside the Lie and we had a nice dialogue about the film. I’ve transcribed it below, adding to it in places where we didn’t address things that had been on my mind but we didn’t have time for.

    Hold on to your butts…

    TS:

    The first time I saw Jurassic Park, I was a month from turning eight, and had an absolute obsession with dinosaurs. The movie enraptured me, and everything about it overwhelmed me. I had the toys, sheets, lunchbox, etc.

    BB:

    So was this a case of the movie fitting an already-present interest, or a case of it creating an interest (in dinosaurs)?

    TS:

    The former. I had loved dinos for as long as I could remember. According to my mother, it started around the time I was two. I had books, tapes, models, and was genuinely informed on the topic. “The Land Before Time” was a big part of it. Probably the biggest impact JP had was to make velociraptors my favorites, although I quickly learned that Spielberg’s version was fairly inaccurate in the service of making them more menacing.

    BB:

    How many times did you force your poor parents to take you to see the movie?

    TS:

    See, I’m not positive there. We didn’t go to the movies on whims, though we did see the “big” releases in a timely fashion. My dad might have taken me back at least once, and maybe my grandparents took us once? I do remember feeling like it took a thousand years for the movie to come out on the vaulted “V-H-S” so that I could watch it endlessly.

    BB:

    Makes sense. Now, for my part…I think I saw it three times. Once on opening night; it came out in ’93, and I’d graduated in ’92 — I saw it with my best friend from high school, who was back in town for the weekend. Then saw it again later with my dad, and a third time about a year later when it was rereleased.

    TS:

    I had always though there was a re-release, but wasn’t sure. In that case, I would be positive that we went and saw it again at that point.

    As a teenager, what was your reaction?

    BB:

    Well, by that point I was a huge Spielberg fan, so this movie was catnip. And I’d read the novel, which I’d liked a lot. (I’d read it because Spielberg was making it into a movie, incidentally.) I liked the movie a lot, too. It scared the piss out of me at a few key moments, and this was back in the days when I REALLY hated being scared by movies. But I didn’t care. Had a blast. The effects were literally like nothing anyone had ever seen. That cannot be over-emphasized.

    TS:

    That was a huge part of it for me; as a kid who fantasized about dinosaurs being alive again, this was the closest I figured I would ever come.

    Which, incidentally, is where the biggest part of what the 3D version made me feel comes from, in that I felt like I was watching the movie as a real movie for the first time. Somehow I saw past the (admittedly amazing) wonder and appreciated it as a work of cinema.

    BB:

    I had almost exactly the same experience. In a way, for some viewers, the movie got overshadowed by “Schindler’s List” later in 1993. Comparatively, “Jurassic Park” felt like it had been a charming little pre-dinner mint or something. Watching it on VHS on reinforced that idea. But seeing it on a huge screen again brought it back home to me that it is, in every way, a masterful piece of cinema.

    TS:

    Hearing you say that, I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of people who were old enough to have seen it back then are experiencing something similar. That’s a big part of what made me want to have this little chat; I want to talk about things that seem obvious, but I never really thought about before.

    BB:

    Well, one of the elements that gets brought up a lot is the way in which the story serves as a character-building exercise for Alan Grant: in a way, the entire film is about him being forced to embrace the idea of being responsible for kids. And boy oh boy, did Ellie lay his ass about an hour after that chopper landed…

    TS:

    Interestingly enough, Ellie’s slowly increasing sexiness as the movie goes on in something I wanted to discuss. On the Grant front, it’s like you’re inside my brain. As they escaped in the chopper, my brain woke up and went “This entire movie is about how Grant should focus more on the people around him, especially children (the future) instead of on dusty old bones (the past).”

    BB:

    Was this your first time noticing that?

    TS:

    Like a bolt from the blue.

    BB:

    Mm-hmm. Now, me, I knew that already; but only because I’d read it in a book about Spielberg’s work long ago. (It hit ME like a bolt out of the blue at that time, though.) What I noticed this time that I hadn’t before is that what’s happening to Grant with the kids underscores everything Ian is preaching about. Life finding a way; unpredictability.

    TS:

    And the shot of the birds represents how dinosaurs had, like Grant, eventually moved on beyond their path toward extinction.

    BB:

    Or, alternatively, it’s Grant looking at evidence of himself having been wrong, and finding he is totally okay with that.

    TS:

    I can see that, yeah. Which would fit, since he’s the only male character in the movie who is able to abandon his stubborn ways in time to not suffer too much from it.

    Dennis’s obsession with getting back at Hammond (because it’s about that, not the money) gets buried in the mud while he gets eaten; Ian’s desire to be right about the chaos lands him with a busted leg; Muldoon’s need to hunt the raptors gets him hunted right to death, which is reinforced by the shot of the alpha raptor watching the snake, knowing she’s the dominant hunter.

    And then there’s John Hammond, who I finally realized is every bit the creation-obsessed dick he is in the book. The obvious signs are him insisting on seeing each dino be born – thinking they will “imprint” on him, of all things – and refusing to use the lysine(?) contingency.

    But the really, really telling part is when he yells “Don’t!” into the phone when Grant is shooting at the raptors, despite the fact that his own grandchildren are in mortal danger.

    —Interjection—

    At this point, I would like to point out that the 3D actually does a really good job of adding focus to certain things that represent some of these themes. The times when we get a close-up shot of the amber on Hammond’s cane or Grant’s raptor claw are prime examples; the bag Dodgson is carrying when he meets Nedry, the embryos as Nedry is pulling them out of storage, and the shaving cream can as it’s being covered by mud are also greatly enhanced.

    ——

    BB:

    Yeah, Hammond is a nutjob, no doubt. He’s Frankenstein, essentially.

    TS:

    Speaking of which, that particular work was very ahead of its time in terms of the science that Shelley drew from. I’m still impressed by the references to genetics in JP; putting that kind of thing in high-brow novels is one thing, but putting them in a summer blockbuster is quite another.

    BB:

    Yes, and it was so beautifully-integrated — some would say spoon-fed, but I say beautifully-integrated — into the plot that I think the science was part of the reason why it was a home run with audiences. Not in spite of; because of. People are more than willing to learn, if you make it interesting.

    TS:

    I agree. The only thing I would say the movie over-simplifies is chaos theory, but having read both Crichton novels – which are essentially treatises on the subject disguised as dinosaur books – I am perfectly ok with that.

    BB:

    Well, that’s a subject where if you’re not careful it turns into “Big Numbers,” that abandoned comic series by Alan Moore that I wrote about in one of my comics blogs not long ago. I think with chaos theory it was sufficient to simply introduce the concept and let it lie there, self-evident and satisfied in its correctness, shirt unbuttoned and glistening. Um…

    TS:

    Ha! You have no idea how many of the women in our showing made audible expressions when that cut to Ian happened.

    BB:

    I do not doubt it.

    TS:

    Which seems a great lead into an aforementioned topic: How unbelievably hot Ellie becomes over the course of that movie. I was no stranger to Laura Dern being attractive, but as a kid my big crush was on Lex.

    This time around, though, I might have been a little short of breath when Ellie’s trying to help Grant keep the door closed.

    BB:

    I always forget how incredibly hot Laura Dern is/was until I’m actually SEEING her on-screen in something. Just hot as balls; fresh-out-f-the-microwave balls, too. And yet, Ellie never comes off as the stereotypical woman-in-distress character. (Like, say, Willie Scott in “Temple of Doom.”)

    TS:

    That’s exactly why she’s so hot as things progress, I think. It ties in with her comment about “sexism in survival situations” when Hammond is suggesting he should go to the generator room instead of her.

    BB:

    Yep. Now, if you don’t mind, let’s go back to Nedry for a minute. Here’s my question: did he HAVE to be played by Newman?

    TS:

    These days, I think not. But I genuinely think that even the great Spielberg can fall into typecasting. In 1993, if you wanted a conniving computer programmer, then “fat guy in bad shirt” was the way to go.

    BB:

    Nedry is maybe my biggest problem with the movie. He’s so patently a plot device, it kinda irks me. Although even that fits into the chaos-theory thing. And it also, I might add, creates a bit of a link between Grant and Hammond. Grant, not necessarily a people person; Hammond must not be either, if he could hire someone as obviously untrustworthy as Nedry.

    TS:

    See, I think it has more to do with Hammond’s obsession with making this place exactly what he wants, without paying enough attention to how he’s getting there (Ian’s speech around the dinner table comes to mind). Nedry was a means to an end. Although it is interesting that Hammond loves to talk about “sparing no expense” and Nedry’s biggest problem seems to be financial.

    BB:

    I just realized that “Nedry” and “nerdy” have the same letters…

    TS:

    That they do, but that would be on Crichton for naming the character.

     

    BB:

    What have you to say about John Williams vis-a-vis this movie?

    TS:

    Sound! This was another area that I really noticed for the first time, probably thanks to the wonder that is IMAX.

    I think Williams is on point in this film beyond even his usual talent. The JP theme is unforgettable, and the different applications he finds for it are superb. But where he really shines this time around are the little bits underneath the action and dialogue: The scene in the amber mine, the ice cream one with Hammond and Ellie, and the one where they find the “unauthorized” dino eggs all stand out for me.

    —Interjection—

    I also wanted to talk about the times there’s almost no sound in the movie, music included, and how fantastic that was with IMAX tech. The moment that stand out most is when Lex is seeing the raptor’s shadow against the wall, followed by her and Tim running into the kitchen area. Other than their panicked breathing, there is absolute silence.

    As for times when the effects really shine, the dilophosaurus stalking Nedry sounded like it was legitimately moving around behind me. Of course, for sheer “wow” value, the impact tremors from the t-rex’s steps shook the entire auditorium, and it’s roars were appropriately deafening.

    ——

    BB:

    They really should have figured out a way to give him (Williams) two Oscars that year. “Hey, we know you’re already getting one for Schindler’s List, but here, have another while you’re at it.”

    TS:

    Hehe. I was actually listening to the JP soundtrack while writing the early parts of my review today, and I’m really irked that the tracks don’t flow chronologically with the movie.

    BB:

    That’s a common problem — “problem” — with Williams soundtracks, sadly. Alright, what are your thoughts on “Jurassic Park” being the last time Spielberg was truly comfortable in popcorn-movie mode?

    TS:

    I would counter with Minority Report…?

    BB:

    Love it, but it was not a notable success. Maybe what I meant was that “Jurassic Park” was — so far — Spielberg’s last mega-smash hit.

    TS:

    Hmm.

    Well, my initial response would be that three of his attempts at such – The Lost World, War of the Worlds, and Crystal Skull – just aren’t very good, and after a while even average-Joe moviegoer starts to pick up on things like that. How successful was Tin-Tin?

    BB:

    Not very; kind of a hit outside of America, barely one at all in America.

    TS:

    That’s a shame, because it is loads better than most blockbusters these days. How about this: JP happens to be a spectacle film that is also masterfully made and has hidden depths. But most blockbusters these days are almost entirely style, and Spielberg has shifted his focus to more substantial fare.

    BB:

    There’s something to that, but I think it’s more that that’s what he THINKS he’s done. His blockbusters are plenty substantial; they just weren’t always taken that way by critics. And while I love — hold on, let me mentally count… — seven of the movies he’s made since then, and like all the rest, I miss THAT Spielberg.

    ——

    Unfortunately, that was the end of our discussion, but Bryant has promised to potentially respond to anything I say here that piques his interest. As far as Spielberg’s recent works go, I will agree with Bryant that they don’t seem to have the same “oomph” as something like Jurassic Park, Jaws, or even Close Encounters. But he has always been one to direct exactly what he feels like directing, and so perhaps his interest has simply shifted toward a different kind of storytelling.

    Back to the task at hand, I mentioned before that this was my girlfriend’s first time to see Jurassic Park, and it was great fun talking to her about it. She felt the movie has an impressive spectacle factor, even after twenty years, and liked the story it told. She’s not usually one for “scary” films, and was mostly ok in this case, with one exception: The power station. She physically jumped when the raptor came from behind the pipes, and then got fairly colorful when Sam Jackson’s arm wasn’t still attached. I’d wager that her heart was racing every bit as much as Ellie’s at the end of that scene.

    Unless you have a complete disdain for all forms of cinematic enjoyment, you should take the time to go see Jurassic Park in 3D, and preferably in IMAX. Because regardless of whether or not you have ever seen it before, it will be one of the best movies you see this year, and will also probably be one of the best entertainment experiences you might ever hope to have.

     

    I saw this release in an IMAX 3D digital auditorium. [amazon_link id=”B00B4804KS” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]The 3D version comes out on blu-ray April 23, 2013.[/amazon_link]

  • Review: G.I. Joe: Retaliation

    Photo courtesy heavy.com
    Photo courtesy heavy.com

    Yo Joe! Or No?!

    Let’s just go ahead and get this out of the way in the beginning of this review, I liked the first G.I. Joe. Do not get me wrong, I am not going to recommend that anyone go out and buy it on Blu-Ray instantly, but it was the definition of a popcorn flick. A dumb action flick that had its moments and some fun also. Now in 2009 we also got Transformers 2 and that was also dumb, but not for the same reasons G.I. Joe was. I know, opinions are very fu**ed up things. I did not mind the first G.I. Joe and yet Shia going to robot heaven actually made me feel stupid sitting in the theater.

    Since 2009 we have already had to sit through another Transformers movie and we are just now getting a sequel to The Real American Hero. Now G.I. Joe was set for release last summer, but a mere month before release it was quickly moved almost an entire year to 2013. The studio said it was to give them time to post-convert the film into 3D since well, you know, it makes more money. Then there were rumors swirling abound that it was to go back and let Channing Tatum re-film more footage since the same rumors also said that his Duke character bites it in the movie.

    SPOILERS AHEAD

    It seems the studio was telling the truth because the film was indeed converted to 3D and Channing Tatum does indeed get ended by Cobra in the first fifteen minutes. And guess what? It was the smartest decision the franchise could have made, because as much as I defend the first movie as big, dumb fun, it left a bad taste in a lot of people’s mouths. So with G.I. Joe: Retaliation we are getting a reboot of sorts that still remains in the same movie universe.

    The part that works with Retaliation is that we are trading in Channing Tatum and Marlon Wayans for Dwayne Johnson and Bruce Willis. Who would not want that kind of move for an action sequel?

    When we left the world at the end of G.I. Joe, Cobra Commander and Destro were locked away while Zartan was still in place as the imposter President of the United States. After Zartan calls in a surprise strike against the Joe’s, in which only Roadblock (Johnson), Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki) and Flint (D.J. Cotrona) are left, Storm Shadow breaks Cobra Commander out of prison and Cobra has a big bad plan for world domination.

    After this, the story wisely splits in two. One path has Roadblock, Jaye and Flint trying to convince the original Joe, Joe Coulton (Willis), that the POTUS is an imposter and they need his help trying to expose him. The second path follows Snake Eyes an Jinx as they hunt down Storm Shadow to find out what information he knows about Cobra’s plans. This really helps the movie avoid any kind of slow down that you normally would feel halfway through. In one aspect you are getting a guns blazing actioneer and then you are swapping over to a martial arts film complete with the RZA as a blind sensei and ninjas sword fighting on the side of a mountain.

    Photo courtesy filmofilia.com

    Knowing Is Half The Battle

    So yeah, Cobra is trying to take over the world and the what not. The plot will not exactly win any awards, but really, are you going to see this for that? Why did you watch G.I. Joe as a kid (assuming you did)? You wanted to see the cool characters, weapons and action. Luckily we get all three of those. The new characters are much more memorable than the previous entry and each is given their own opportunity at some bad ass moments. I know Channing Tatum is Hollywood’s “IT” guy right now, but Bruce Willis and Dwayne Johnson can carry an action flick in their sleep. Even though I did not care for A Good Day To Die Hard, I still say Willis can get it done easily when guns are involved.

    I worried that director John M. Chu would be overwhelmed with a film of this size. I mean could you really blame me? He got the job after directing Step Up 2&3 and the Justin Bieber movie Never Say Never. Yeah, exactly. Chu has taken the helm and like a great Barney Stinson moment he has said, “Challenge Accepted”. Fight scenes are quick paced, but never overwhelming and there are plenty of things that go boom. There is one especially unique fight between Roadblack and Firefly (Ray Stevenson) that is an up close gun battle within arm distance that I can honestly say I have never seen before. I have to give credit where it is due.

    I got exactly what I was expecting out of G.I. Joe: Retaliation. I wanted a followup to the original that felt like I was watching an episode of the 80’s cartoon. Does that involve some chuckle worthy dialogue? Yep. Did it change the fact that I had fun with the characters and manly man things? Nope. If you liked the first film (even a little bit like me), this is a good improvement and shows that the franchise could have some legs if handled properly. If you did not like 2009’s film then this should be a massive improvement over what you got. Go in expecting a fun, popcorn shoot em up that replaces the weak parts of the first film with stronger anchors and have fun.

    Now you know…

  • Review: Oz: The Great And Powerful

    Photo courtesy ign.com
    Photo courtesy ign.com

    There are few directors that could be given $200 million by Disney to recreate the feel of a classic movie. Actually they gave Joseph Kosinski that to make Tron: Legacy, so maybe that money amount doesn’t mean what it used to. Sam Raimi is one of those directors that should be entrusted with that and it shows through in Oz: The Great and Powerful. Every penny is apparent on screen and even if the script or performances don’t break any new ground, it is a visual treat that should be enjoyed by anyone who remebers The Wizard of Oz fondly from their childhood.

    If you are reading this review then I am assuming you have seen the classic film at least once and know the breakdown of what went on. Oz: The Great and Powerful begins much like Dorothy’s tale, in black and white. Oscar Riggs (James Franco) is a two bit magician in a traveling circus who has aspirations of great fame and wealth. He makes a quick escape from a strongman with a broken hearted sister in a hot aired balloon just as a tornado hits and he is whisked away to the colorful world of Oz. He soon meets Theodora (Mila Kunis), who tells him that he is the great wizard that the land of Oz has been waiting for to free them from the evils of the wicked witch.

    Theodora’s sister Evanora (Rachel Weisz) is in the Emerald City and does not believe so quickly that this stranger is who he says he is. Little known to everyone in Oz, Evanora is, in actuality, the wicked witch and has framed her sister Glinda (Michelle Williams) for killing their father. She convinces Oscar to hunt down and destroy Glinda so she can have Oz all to herself. Evanora uses her sister’s feelings for Oscar to transform her into the true wicked with that we all remember from the classic tale. And yet with all the green makeup and weird facial features Mila Kunis is still hot. I would just have to act like I was Capt. Kirk and have some fun times with a green chick, but maybe that is just me.

    Oscar ends up learning the truth and teams with Glinda and the citizens of Oz to battle the two evil witches. Which of course means a battle at then end of the movie. Like Alice in Wonderland, Snow White and the Huntsman and Jack the Giant Slayer, it must end in a big fight at then end with sneaking and misdirection winning the day. It does feel a bit familiar. But not so much that it detracts from the overall feel of the movie.

    Photo courtesy hollywoodreporter.com
    Photo courtesy hollywoodreporter.com

    Oz does hit a stretch at the beginning of the third act that makes you think they were simply trying to extend runtime and show as much pretty on the screen as they could. It really could have used about twenty minutes trimmed off of the length and things would have moved along at a much smoother pace.

    Make no mistake, this movie is pretty. Sam Raimi is a very visual director and it shines through when you watch Oz. There were some scenes that I can only imagine how headache inducing the 3D would have been. All the childhood remembrances are there. The yellow brick road, the emerald castle, the poppy fields and yes, flying monkeys that should easily scare the sh** out of your child.

    There is no way not to watch this and not compare it to 2010’s Alice in Wonderland with one exception, I believe Oz holds up a bit better. That is to say that the performances in Alice (anchored by Johnny Depp) were superior to this, but the inner child hiding underneath all this bearded fury is more connected to the land of Oz from all the multiple viewings of The Wizard of Oz than Alice’s adventure. The look and familiarity of the world is much easier for me to connect with. Some people are cheshire cat people and some are munchkin all the way and I do love some midgets.

    Look, if you are expecting Oz to be a movie that you remember ten years from now then you may be in for disappointment. Go into this with no expectations and you may be pleasantly surprised by it. It looks stunning on the big screen and while the main characters won’t exactly win any awards, all of the look, feel and imagination of the land of Oz is still there.

    Like I said, it’s all familiar and sometimes that is not a bad thing.

    NERD RATING- 7.5/10

    Photo courtesy ifc.com
    Photo courtesy ifc.com

     

     

  • Make Us Whole: Dead Space 3 Review

    deadspace3boxart

    “In Space…”

    I don’t get scared very easily. That’s not machismo talking, it’s just the truth; while I enjoy scary movies, survival horror games, and even ghost stories, but my enjoyment comes from allowing myself to be drawn in and spooked. I don’t experience nightmares or sit up listening to things go bump in the night afterwards. So I always consider it a testament to a title’s terror credibility when it gets under my skin: Dan Simmons’ historically engrossing novel Drood, John Carpenter’s hopeless tale of survival The Thing, and the genre re-defining Resident Evil 4 all have places on that list.

    I say all that to give you a foundation for the following statement: I could not play Dead Space 3 for more than a few hours at a time before my anxiety levels became unbearable. I’m going to talk a lot here about the series’ evolution into an action game, but I wanted to establish that no matter how much the balance of power might have shifted in Isaac Clarke’s favor, this game will still scare the Hell out of you if you let it. It accomplishes this task the same way the first two did:

    Necromorphs are $*^-ing terrifying.

    For me, at least, that has always been the core concept of Dead Space. These aren’t just zombies that a headshot will put down, or Flood that drop after a few shotgun blasts, or even the mutation-capable Plaga. We’re talking about civilians whose ribs are now talons used to crawl along the ground; workers whose legs rotted off and their spinal column is now a scorpion tail; toddlers on all fours with barbed tentacles growing from their backs; and finally, crab walking infants with their torsos swollen into exploding sacs of acid.

    As if those creature designs weren’t enough, the persistent gameplay mechanic is that shooting them is never enough. You have to dismember them, take them apart piece-by-piece, and even that just slows them down at first. The standard necro has four limbs and a head, and can lose two of those things and still survive; three if one piece is the head and it still has both arm appendages. Body shots might eventually cut them in two, but that doesn’t always stop the upper half from dragging itself after you.

    One of the new enemy types is mutated researchers in arctic gear dual-wielding climbing axes. Taking off their upper half results in their legs sprouting three tentacles and continuing to attack, and you have to take off two tentacles to finally drop them. Late in the game I missed the tentacles on one with a shotgun blast and got the legs instead; I mistakenly though it dead as the force knocked it away, only to be horrified as the intact tentacles began crawling after me, dragging the now-useless legs behind them.

    The Binding of Isaac

    With that image now firmly in your mind, we can continue on to a more extensive look at the game as a whole: Dead Space 3 continues the tale of Isaac Clarke and his seemingly inevitable fight against the alien artifacts known as Markers, the Necromorphs they create, and the Church of Unitology whose members seem to think that becoming an undead nightmare is some sort of transcendence. I’m not big one reviews that spend too much time on the past; if you want to know what happened before, there are two excellent games that can fill you in. The only really important bit is that Isaac was previously imprinted with the “gift” of being able to decode, create, and destroy Markers.

    After the events of DS and DS 2, Isaac understandably decided he was done getting involved in situations where he had to perform combat amputations on entire populations using jacked-up power tools. Unfortunately, both the forces of EarthGov and Unitology fell differently, and have small armies to back them up. A small squad of EG troops has located what they believe to be the Marker “homeworld” and they want Isaac’s help to possibly eradicate the necro threat for good. Just as they arrive on the lunar colony to enlist him, the Unitologist leader Dannick launches a massive coup that culminates in him activating Markers that had been secretly installed in an unknown number of locations.

    From there, things get all sci-fi horror as crap just starts falling to pieces around Isaac and the rest of the team. You eventually make it to the Marker homeworld, and once there you uncover evidence that “all of this has happened before,” etc. The planet itself, known as Tau Volantis, has been visited by more than one group of people (and more than one species) trying to understand, control, eliminate or activate the Markers over the millennia. Its frozen plains and canyons make for an interesting change from the usual deserted corridors Isaac finds himself in, and allows for new necros to do things like pop up out of the snow or blindside you in a white-out blizzard. A late game environment shift puts you back in corridors for good, but the change is part of a plot reveal that makes those sections more interesting than you’d think.

    A Fistful of Stasis

    Attractive environments aren’t your only reason to pay attention to your surrounds, as DS 3 ups the ante in terms of the series’ weapon crafting / upgrading system. For those unfamiliar with previous installments, each weapon came pre-built and used a unique type of ammo; upgrading was accomplished by using a universal resource to unlock new stats via a branching research tree specific to each gun. Most players eventually settled on two weapons that they just couldn’t live without for upgrading, and used the rest of them as circumstances dictated.

    The new system breaks each weapon down into core components: the basic frame, a top tool, a bottom tool, a tip for each tool, and two attachment slots. These parts can either be found in the world or constructed as you need them from scrap; there are also blueprints that can be constructed from scratch if you have enough resources. Ammo is also universal this time around, so you don’t have to micro-manage how much you have for each weapon or worry about equipping something and forgetting to change out your clips.

    The end result is combat that can be significantly more varied than previous outings, if you want to put in the effort. I won’t go into all the variations, or even a fraction of them, because even I only scratched the surface. Suffice to say that if you’ve ever wanted a high-tech beam rifle that fires acid-coated saw blades from its lower half, or a dual-stream flamethrower / cryo gun that also puts enemies in brief suspended animation, you’ll probably find the crafting system to your liking. Upgrading has also been streamlined into “circuits” that affect damage, reload speed, clip size, and fire rate; these can also be found / crafted and are freely interchangeable between weapons.

    I beat the first DS using only my plasma cutter, not because I wanted the “One Gun” achievement (though that was a nice bonus) but because none of the other weapons felt as solid to me. I quickly realized in DS 2 that such tactics were unadvisable, and DS 3 only builds on those changes. Crafting and equipping weapons suited to your play style is essential, because you’re going to be using those weapons at every turn. Make no mistake; this is an action game where the enemies just happen to be horrible monstrosities. You will have to fight off necros in most rooms, and as the game progresses they only become more frequent in both numbers and variety; it’s these large-scale, multi-wave fights that provide biggest test of your loadouts and resource management.

    This installment introduces human enemies for the first time in the form of Unitologist soldiers that attack in squads. I had heard these segments praised as a nice break from necro hordes, but to be honest they fell kind of flat for me for one reason: headshots. I’ve spent two full DS games learning to pick limbs off charging necros from twenty yards out; I’m Sheldon Pendergrass with a plasma cutter. So when you give me enemies that can be dropped with a single shot, and combine that with the ability to craft a weapon whose sole purpose is damage and accuracy, I’m left with a lot of corpses just waiting to be infected. Supposedly the soldier AI is capable of impressive tactical maneuvering, but again, I didn’t sit around waiting for them to start flanking me in two-man teams or whatever.

    The designers must have recognized this fact, because there is an enemy type that consists of a head that crawls around on tentacles and attaches itself only to enemies who already don’t have heads; said enemies then get back up and either fire wildly in your general direction or try to club you if you get too close. I haven’t decided if I’m impressed that they tried to make the soldiers a dual-threat or annoyed that they didn’t just have them immediately get ambushed and reanimated every time you encountered them. Hell, about half the time you encounter them toward the end of the game that is exactly what happens, and often on a large scale that makes you feel pretty awesome as you sprint through the chaos.

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    Now Entering Zero Gravity

    If I have one major complaint about the game, it would be that it contains several half-developed concepts such as this one. The zero-gravity sections have finally been perfected, but now there are bits where Isaac is rappelling up and down cliff faces while fighting enemies and dodging avalanches; the idea is solid, but the execution – especially when it comes to the collision detection for dodging chasms and debris – is so maddening I almost threw my controller on more than one occasion. There’s a new type of hacking mini-game that uses the analog sticks to control the interface, but very early on it introduces diagonal movement, which it can only accurately detect about half the time.

    The weapon crafting is great, as I said, but weapon parts, upgrades circuits, and spare part boxes all take up space in your inventory until you can get to a bench and store them. This wouldn’t be as aggravating if there weren’t a full nine slots for “key items” down in one corner, which I swear I never had more than three of in the entire campaign. Finally, several missions that do use those slots involve you running about and collecting parts that then need to be assembled at a bench to make some gizmo or another. As if fetch-quests weren’t bad enough, the benches are often in areas where enemies constantly spawn, meaning you have to clear the area and then hope the doo-dad assembles faster than they can respawn.

    The worst offender in terms of useless mechanics, bar-none, is the side quests that are scattered throughout the game. Not the co-op quests, mind you; those work well for reasons I’ll talk about later. The single-player side quests work this way: you’ll come across something, usually a key card or an audio log, which indicates there’s a place nearby that has a resource stash or information that could be useful to the mission. The catch is that most of these places are where things went to Hell the fastest and hardest at some point in the past. Admittedly some of them work really well, and can deepen your understanding of the Markers’ impact on history, introduce unique enemy types, and provide you with some truly phenomenal new equipment.

    The majority of them fall far short of this ideal, and serve to do little more than lengthen the game in infuriating ways. You’re led somewhere you believe will be important, yet there are no indications of this via audio logs, text logs, or the collectible artifacts scattered throughout the game. You wander through four generic rooms, go down an elevator, and come out on another level where the rooms are essentially the same. The only distinguishing feature of these rooms is that each one has at least four vent shafts, which means a constant stream of necros. This all culminates in a room where you press a button and then have to fight some insane number of foes, and then open a resource crate that contains little more than resentment.

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    Too Many Engineers in the Drive Room

    My final complaint with single-player is simply that I didn’t really care much about this story this time around. DS and DS 2 survived on the Alien / Aliens dynamic. The first game was driven largely by a mixture of Isaac’s survival against an unknown enemy, his reliance upon questionable allies, and his investigation of where it all went wrong for the Ishimura; the second one thrust us into a situation that was just starting to go wrong, as Isaac – the sole survivor of a previous outbreak – tried desperately to get someone to listen to him while everyone above him manipulated his experiences for their own purposes. There were some questions along the way: “What are Markers?”; “How are Markers and necros related?”; “Why would anyone ever want to be a Unitologist?”; etc. We got some answers, too, but the real focus was on Isaac (i.e. the player) and his personal journey through this madness.

    Dead Space 3, while certainly better than Alien3 in my book, suffers from some of the same missteps in terms of changing focus away from the main character in favor of the “bigger picture.” We’re suddenly expected to care about the balance of power between EarthGov and the Unitologists; questions about the why and where and how of Markers / necros are too central to the plot; enormous answers to those questions are overshadowed in favor of keeping the plot going; the plot see-saws between focal points to the point where nothing seems to have any substance. The low point for me was when the only emotional impact I had felt was overturned to give more heft to act three’s maguffin, of all things. I’ve got some more story elements to talk about, but they’ll make more sense after we talk about the cooperative play mode.

    Butch Clarke and the Teslacoil Kid

    Of all the things that I’ve ever seen gamers up-in-arms about, the inclusion of co-op in DS 3 has to be fairly close to the top of the list. Citing examples like Resident Evil 5 & 6, general consensus was that you can’t make a genuinely intense survival horror experience if there’s someone tagging along for the ride. I think RE 5 and DS 3 both have intense moments that go beyond the number of players, but I will admit that the former got one thing right: When you’re not in a co-op game, the second protagonist – John Carver – simply isn’t there. The game arranges for him and Isaac to have to “take separate paths,” and this works well for the most part. Carver will still communicate with you over the radio, and you can sometimes see him on cameras or off in the distance. In co-op play, the game actually features separate dialogue that takes Carver’s sudden proximity into account; the developers even went so far as to alter some of the scripted action sequences so that both characters have to participate.

    Yet in a few key cutscenes and scripted events spread throughout the game, it fails repeatedly and always in the same way: Carver simply appears somewhere near Isaac in a way that makes absolutely no sense. The worst co-op example of this I can find is a scripted event early on that has Isaac leaping onto a ship from a platform. In single-player, Carver was already on the ship, and the player just button-presses to help Isaac climb; but in co-op, regardless of where the Carver was when the event is triggered, he is suddenly on the ship already and both players have to button-mash. Single-player wise, there is a scene where Isaac has fallen behind the group and is ambushed as he tries to catch up with them; despite the fact that you are alone and having a conversation with Carver over the radio, when you get ambushed the camera pans around to show him coming out of the corridor behind you.

    The only substantial change to content between the two modes are side missions that can only be accessed through co-op; the reasons for Isaac not getting into these places alone is actually part of the story these missions tell. They follow the same formula as the other side-missions, but don’t fall as flat as often due to the aforementioned story significance. Without revealing too much, the driving force here is that Carver, unlike Isaac and others, has not yet become as… resistive to the Marker signal. Suffice to say that arguing with your co-op partner about things that may or may not be real and should or should not be killed right now or else you’re going to die adds something to the experience.

    As a gameplay experience, co-op is handled almost flawlessly: Areas where you have to do something like climb feature two grapple stations, and vehicles feature two seats; benches feature an activation panel at each end so neither of you has to wait, and previously hidden suit kiosks power up in some areas; each of you sees and can collect standard resources independently, and unique crafting items are automatically put in both inventories. You can also share blueprints and upgrade circuits at a bench, and either drop or directly give ammo and med kits to your partner.

    Unfortunately, I’m not going to pretend that these latter features don’t drastically reduce the difficulty, especially if you’re playing with someone who has significant playtime under their belt. I opted to play the game through solo at first, as did my brother, and we started a co-op venture after the fact. If you want a true Dead Space experience, I would suggest doing it that way, as well as playing the game on at least Hard. For the record, one of my friends cares more about experiencing the full story and all possible content, so it actually worked out for him to start in co-op. In that regard, the addition of this mode does become a boon to less hardcore players who prefer entertainment to having a re-animated mound of nightmare flesh rip their head off and spew acid bile down their throat on the first date.

    Convergence

    Dead Space 3 is not a perfect game. To be honest, in writing this review I have come across qualms I wasn’t even aware of while playing it; others were so obvious that they had me seeing red as I reloaded a checkpoint for the eighth time. The characters are mostly bland, except for Dannick, whose hipster glasses and tiny ponytail are grade-A tv villian reject material. The most interesting character in the bunch is a scientest who’s been dead for over 200 years and the rest of his doomed expedition, but audio logs are infrequent and have been replaced with text logs that you have to read on your tiny, holographic HUD. The gameplay whiplashes from survival horror to horror action to cover-based action to Uncharted-esq climbing and scripted events. It veers a little far from its roots, both in terms of gameplay and story, and the end result is a game that isn’t as memorable as either of its predecessors. Knowing that, keep an open mind going into my final score.

    Because my final score has almost nothing to do with those qualms, and everything to do with how I felt playing the game. The rush of adrenaline I felt at finally being able to mow through familiar necros only to have my bowels constrict at the sight of some new form; the elation at decimating Unitologist zealots replaced by the despairing thought that convergence might be Isaac’s ultimate fate; the confidence of having someone watching your back shattered by the realization that he might be your biggest threat. The final level design and setpiece are jaw-dropping, and the mechanic used to kill the final boss is a massively satisfactory middle finger to Markers and the hell-spawn they generate.

    Then, like you could in Dead Space, you can go online and look up the chapter titles and put the first letter of each one together into a sentence.

    And you will share my fear.

    Altman be praised.

    NERD RATING – 9.5/10

    Author’s Note:[amazon_link id=”B0050SWVIQ” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ] I reviewed the game on Xbox 360. It is also available on PS3 and PC.[/amazon_link]

  • Review: Aliens: Colonial Marines

    aliens-colonial-marines (1)

    Aliens + Gearbox= A Winner….Right?

    Gearbox Software has become a major player in the video game world with the rise of the Borderlands franchise. Both entries into the series have been massive critical and retail successes and Gearbox has reaped the benefits. So it was no surprise that their game based on the beloved Aliens film was high up on many people’s list. A true sequel to James Cameron’s sci-fi classic from the developers of Borderlands. What could go wrong?

    Everything apparently.

    First off we have to put things in perspective. Gearbox did not finish this game. In actuality, no one outside of the developer really knows exactly how much of this game was worked on by actual Gearbox employees. You see this game has been in development for six years and Gearbox…actually we will get into that a bit later.

    Aliens: Colonial Marines has you playing Winter, an everyman marine that is sent to investigate the distress signal set off by Hicks in the film Aliens. Somehow the U.S.S. Sulaco has made its way back to orbit around LV-426 and you and your squad are sent in to see why the ship has mysteriously appeared back there. Right off the bat you cannot help to realize that the script and voice acting in this are horrid. I don’t even mean like in the hard ass military jargon or anything because there are plenty of games that get that right without being laughable, but Colonial Marines is like one of the direct to DVD Starship Troopers bad.

    You can tell that some love of the Aliens franchise was in this at one time. Some of the environments, James Horner’s score and even bringing back veteran actors Lance Henriksen and Michael Biehn to reprise their roles of Bishop and Hicks. But everything that was supposed to make this game a treat for Aliens fans is handled so poorly and lazily that all of the good that made it in the game is overpowered by the heaps of utter uselessness that was in the final product.

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    Is This Really Happening?

    I don’t know exactly where in the development process things went wrong for Colonial Marines, but it is evident that this game needed to be re-worked or scrapped altogether. For almost two years we have been shown demos that showed off a pretty good looking game graphics wise, but the game that awaited me was riddled with so many graphical hiccups that it truly appeared as if I were playing first year 360 title. I could probably put Doom 3 on the original Xbox up against this and this would win…but only by a small fraction. Lighting problems, floating shadows, rampant clipping and piss poor between mission cinemas keep you detached from any sense of world immersion. When aliens explode from gunfire its not so much disgusting collapse of a body as it is a sloppy explosion into eight square pieces.

    If you are used to FPS’s that have minute controls and like to pull off quality headshots then I suggest you go looking elsewhere. Sloppy aiming is rampant with almost no sense of true control in the middle of a firefight. Even with the additon of add-ons (in a poor attempt to make the game seem deeper) to various weapons you will still have a frustrating time trying to pop off aliens or Weyland-Yutani soldiers with any precision.

    One of the best things about the movie Aliens was the sense of helplessness. The fear that the xenomorphs brought was undeniable. You find none of that here. With the exception of one decently designed level in the sewers of Hadley’s Hope where you are without weapons and must make your way through aliens that can only sense you by sound, you always have a host of weapons on your person. At one time I had eleven weapons at my disposal as well as grenades so any fear I would have from the aliens was non-existent because of me basically being an unstoppable badass. When there is no sense of dread, there is no Aliens.

    The multiplayer is just an added on feature that feels like it is there because it is what is required in today’s games. Even the chance to play as the xenos trips up with huge balance issues that make the marines the hunters not the hunted. Sloppy controls hinder any kind of fun that could be gleaned off of this. Multiplayer runs well enough and I had no problem finding parties , but when it is as generic and stunted as this it would almost be a blessing if you couldn’t.

    aliens022

    My Soul Hurts

    Please do not be fooled by Aliens: Colonial Marines. You may read this and think this review is coming from a place of hate from an uber-fan, but I assure you this is not the case. While I am a fan of the highest regard for this film franchise I still went into Aliens with high hopes despite the hellish development stories and other reviews. I played this game with a set of rose colored glasses and still came out feeling like I had sh** thrown at me.

    Beyond my wildest imagination I could not imagine that after six…damn…years that this game could have shipped like this. Even if Gearbox subbed out the game to secondary developers there should be more than what is offered up to gamers here. For a quick comparison here are some of the games that have come out in the last six years:

    -Uncharted trilogy

    -Mass Effect trilogy

    -Red Dead Redemption

    -Grand Theft Auto 4

    -Fallout 3

    -Skyrim

    -BORDERLANDS 1 and 2 from Gearbox!!

    Think of all the millions of hours and GOTY awards that have been split with this list of games over the past six years. How can anyone tell me that this game should have taken this long to make and come out this bad and broken? Even when the story takes a chance and reveals a MAJOR character long thought dead is actually alive, the explanation given is simply “that’s another story”. No it’s not!! That is the story! That’s why it is such a big deal!! And therein lies the problem with Aliens: Colonial Marines. We have waited so long for a great Aliens game and expectations were met with something unexpected.

    Laziness.

    NERD RATING- 4.5/10

     

     

  • Amongst the Living : Review of Telltale Games’ The Walking Dead

    Courtesy of statesman.com
    Courtesy of statesman.com

    A New Day

    If you are evenly vaguely aware of popular culture, you’ve probably noticed that zombies are kind of a “thing” right now. You may have even heard someone talk about “The Walking Dead,” in reference to Robert Kirkman’s long-running comic published by Image; or maybe – and more likely – they meant AMC’s television adaptation of the series; or – if the someone is especially awesome – they are talking about Telltale Games’ episodic adventure series that ties in with both. Even if you hadn’t heard of it before Spike’s VGAs this year, it probably would have caught your attention when it beat a field of triple-A titles for Game of the Year.

    I was certainly surprised. Since the episodes had begun in May ’12, I had purchased three of them and completed two, so I knew the game was high-quality. Still, we’re talking about an episodic adventure series that some have claimed is little more than a point-and-click progression of choose-your-own-adventure interactive cutscenes. This, at the absolute core of the game – and especially highlighted during its weakest moments – is exactly what is going on. Luckily for anyone who has played it, though, those weak moments are few and scattered throughout the most player-driven experience I may have ever had. That’s because from the very first moments of the game, the content of the aforementioned cutscenes is based almost 100% on player decisions. The system is constantly keeping track of everything you do and say, and is using that to build an experience that is exceptionally unique.

    Starved For Help

    I’m getting ahead of myself, though. In such a story-driven experience, I would be remiss not to talk about the story: When the game begins, your player character Lee is in the back of a police cruiser being taken to jail. An accident occurs, and by the time you wake up, the zombie outbreak is in full effect. You make your way into a neighborhood, where your life is saved by a young girl named Clementine. The two of you team up, and you eventually make your way to a location taken straight from the comics and meet some of the people who will join you on your journey.

    I am being vague about things like why you were going to jail, why and where you are going with Clementine, where you meet the other characters, etc. for two reasons: Spoilers would be a massive disservice to the game, and more significantly, the answers I would give are based on my playthrough, and might not be relevant to yours. Yes, I am telling you that information as specific as “were you actually guilty of a crime” is completely up to the person you want Lee to be.

    That being said, Lee is his own person, something which has more weight to it the further you progress into the episodes. While it is true that almost everything he says comes verbatim from dialogue choices, some little things like personality quirks, facial tics and body language cues are all his own. It creates an interesting dichotomy the likes of which I’ve only ever experienced in the connect / disconnect between myself and my version of Commander Shepard in Mass Effect.

    Courtesy of venturebeat.com
    Courtesy of venturebeat.com

    Long Road Ahead

    The end result is unique: I had times when my decisions made sense as both a player and a character, and times when I had Lee do something in-character that was totally against what I thought as a player; those times tended to deal with the survival of Lee and the others in the group. As a player, sitting safe and warm and well-fed on my couch, I can think “This is wrong, I don’t want to do this,” and still have to make the call that Lee would make in that situation. The game really shines in these instances, and juxtaposes them with moments of tension, horror, and action where I felt 100% in Lee’s shoes as he (I)(we) tried to run from a horde or fend off a walker with his (my)(our) bare hands.

    The game also excels at developing the secondary and even tertiary characters, especially considering how much of their development is tied directly to the choice structure. Again without spoiling too much, not only are there characters that can live or die based on your choices, but some of those characters make choices based on your choices that can then change whole plotlines. Not only does this give the player an amazing feeling of involvement, it means that Telltale was committed enough to this mechanic that they created content that players might never see. Considering that it’s not a large studio, an investment of time and money on unseen content is nothing to overlook.

    What content you will see looks and sounds amazing, and I have to give credit to the artists who worked on this title. The cel-shading was a stroke of genius, and really gives you the feeling of being inside the comic; at the same time, it never looks “cartoony,” and the moments of violence are every bit as gut-wrenching as they should be. The characters are exceptionally expressive, and the voice actors sell me on their roles in almost every case. I experienced a few minor hiccoughs like items disappearing from a characters hand now and then, but it didn’t last long and never affected gameplay.

    The choice mechanic itself is exceptionally well-implemented into gameplay, whether it was during dialogue or as part of an action sequence. If you’re in a free-roam area and initiate a conversation, there’s no pressure in weighing different responses; during time-sensitive sequences, though, there is a bar under the dialogue that quickly drains while you try to respond. During action moments, the bar is replaced by a red tint that gets darker the longer you take to respond, usually by pointing the cursor at something and hitting the action button. These bits are generally pretty tense, and the need to take action occasionally leads to split-second choices concerning who lives and who dies.

    Courtesy of wikipedia.org
    Courtesy of wikipedia.org

    Around Every Corner

    Unfortunately, those sequences also highlight one of my two big gripes with the game, which is that this game is so PC-developed-then-ported-to-consoles it hurts; sometimes it hurts so hard that Lee and others die. I’ve been using analog sticks to point at things for a long time, and it still felt like the cursory was just too… heavy is the right word, I think. Ten game also had a strange tendency to start the cursor – which is supposed to represent where Lee is looking – in the part of the screen furthest from what you need to do. I don’t know about you, but if I’m being attacked by a walker, I’m going to be looking at the walker, not off into the corner.

    My other big complaint is that the item-specific adventuring has the ability to slow and even destroy the pacing, which is an issue in a game where you’re supposed to be surviving a zombie apocalypse. I’ll openly admit that I used a FAQ a few times, and felt justified when the answers were “look in this one very specific spot in a very specific way for this very specific item.” The third episode in particular dragged so badly I had to stop playing and pick it up the next day.

    These little things didn’t keep the overall experience from being phenomenal, though. I was especially lucky in having an audience for the game in the form of my girlfriend; while she didn’t use the controller, we “played” the entire story together, with her keeping an eye out for items, helping with puzzles, and weighing in on decisions. I was genuinely happy about this, considering she probably won’t ever read the comic or watch the show given her natural aversion to gore. In this case, though, her shock and horror just contributed to my own; she was also my conscience, and openly disagreed with a few things I did. One particular decision at the end of episode four got to her so much that she wouldn’t say anything to me other than “You lied to Clementine. You lied to her.”

    No Time Left

    Courtesy of wikipedia.org
    Courtesy of wikipedia.org

    Near the end of The Walking Dead, an antagonist confronts Lee with a laundry list of things he – and by extension, you – has done that makes him / you a “monster.” Actions like stealing food, abandoning other survivors, and even a few outright murders from over the course of the game’s five episodes are thrown at you interrogation style. During this scene, the dialogue options “You don’t know the whole story,” “There wasn’t any other choice,” and “I wish I had done that differently” sounded just as hollow and desperate coming from Lee as I felt telling him to say them.

    Because we did have choices, in every one of those situations and a dozen others leading up to them; and while we had tried so very hard to do the right thing, we made mistakes and people died. The only thing stopping us from giving up right then and there was an eight-year-old girl in a dirty hoodie and a tattered ball cap. Everything Lee and I had done up to that point had been to keep “sweet pea” safe, and so long as that was seen through, I could live with the rest. If I can speak for a certain history teacher turned escaped convict turned makeshift dad from Macon, Georgia, I think he would agree.

    NERD RATING – 9.0/10

    Editor’s Note – I played the game on the XBox 360 as downloadable episodes. It’s also available on PC and PS3, and was recently released in [amazon_link id=”B007WQOIGW” target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]retail disc form.[/amazon_link]

  • Review: A Good Day To Die Hard

    Photo courtesy teaser-trailer.com
    Photo courtesy teaser-trailer.com

    Die Hard 0.5

    John McClane is back again for his fifth adventure, this time teaming up with his grown-up son to take on a group of political radicals in the heart of Russia. There is just one problem with this; A Good Day To Die Hard is not really much fun and as a Die Hard fan it hurts a bit to watch.

    As this Die Hard opens up we see that John McClane’s son Jack has gotten himself arrested for murder and is facing Russian justice so he heads off to Moscow to try and help out his “misguided” son. Truth being that Jack is in actuality a C.I.A. agent that has placed himself in his situation to rescue a Russian prisoner and get him out of Moscow in return for a mysterious file.

    One of the best things the first three Die Hard’s did so well was great setup and character development. A Good Day to Die Hard abandons all this and literally within the first fifteen minutes McClane has found out where his son is, said goodbye to his daughter, had a taxi ride with a singing Russian, survived a courthouse bombing and is chasing down Jack and the Russian baddies through the streets of Moscow while causing rampant destruction. While you watch this it feels like you are about 30 minutes ahead of what your watch says. While that may work for standard action movies these days, for a Die Hard movie it seems like lazy filmmaking. There is no character development at all to this film. But we will get to that a bit later.

    Photo courtesy tumblr.com
    Photo courtesy tumblr.com

    When Live Free or Die Hard was released back in 2007 it was the first in the series to abandon the “everyman” John McClane. That is one of the reasons the first three movies in the franchise worked so well. He was a cop. He made mistakes. He was a smartass and he had a sh**y family life. It was just that he was in the wrong places at the wrong (or right) times. LFODH set up McClane as almost indestructible. Like a bald, American James Bond who could take out helicopters with taxis. A Good Day to Die Hard continues this formula and even goes more over the top with some of the things that should break any normal man, but this McClane barely has a limp.

    The sad part about this is that Willis can play the role of John McClane in his sleep. He does it here. The swagger, the chuckle, the smart ass comments. It’s all here, but the characters and script around the character are so very weak.

    Pacing and character development are two of the serious offenders like I mentioned earlier. The movie’s breakneck speed, which may help action movies these days, is a detriment to a Die Hard movie. There is no time to develop any of the characters like Jack or the villains because the movie is too busy going from one explosion set piece to another. I really feel sorry for Spartacus alum Jai Courtney as Jack McClane. He is a great actor and could have worked a whole lot better as Willis’ son….if he had more to work with.

    The presence of a memorable villain is non-existent. While I was not a big fan of Live Free or Die Hard, I did think that Timothy Olyphant’s role was a good one and worth remembering. This go round there are so many multiple Russian who all have there own agendas that by the time the main villain is revealed (20 minutes before the movie ends mind you), you really have given up even remotely caring about why he is there.

    This is by far the shortest of the Die Hard’s. Where most run right at two hours or a little over this entry clocks in at only 97 minutes. Which is easy to see why when you watch the movie and see that there was not much material to work with and abandoned all hope of making you care about the players.

    Photo courtesy inquisitr.com
    Photo courtesy inquisitr.com

    I hope A Good Day to Die Hard does well in theaters which may sound weird given what I have just written, but here me out. There is still good material left for the John McClaine character. I have no doubt there is. I hope that A Good Day to Die Hard does not make people jaded towards the franchise. They just need to scale back the super-hero John McClane and get back to what made the first one so great. Develop a memorable villain, good setup and put in a worn down NYC cop who just happens to be there trying to do his best.

    A Good Day to Die Hard is disappointing and not because of Willis. He was made to play John McClane, but the McClane character has got to get better and more realistic aspects working for him. If this was a normal run of the mill action flick it would be on the decent side, but being this is Die Hard we are talking about there is a higher standard that this needs to reach. Now I am going to celebrate the franchise’s 25th anniversary by watching the first three entries.

    NERD RATING: 6.0/10

     

  • Review: Sleeping Dogs

    Welcome To Hong Kong. Come Stay Awhile.

    Sleeping-Dogs

    Sleeping Dogs took quite the interesting development trail to release. First, the game was being developed as the next in the True Crime series. After continual delays and budget concerns Activision cancelled the game. After about six months Square Enix picked up the game and let United Front Games finish development and Square took up publishing duties. I am glad that Square decided to take a chance on Sleeping Dogs (which Sqaure is not known to do really). There is a lot of good going on in this game including a John Woo quality plot, refined combat mechanics and open-world driving that is just plain fun. While the game may not be as large as the Grand Theft Auto’s, there is no doubt that Sleeping Dogs is a welcome addition in the sandbox category.

    You play the game as Wei Shen, a cop that has returned to Hong Kong from the States and is arrested after getting busted on a bad drug deal. He is offered a chance to infiltrate the Sun On Yee gang because of his friendship with a member of the gang, Jackie Ma. Jackie takes you to meet the leader of the Water Street Gang, Winston. The Water Street Gang works under the Sun On Yee to complete all the tasks they need completed whether it be drug runs, collecting protection money or just straight up murder. Winston is having trouble with an old member named Dogeyes, the leader of a rival gang that is trying to muscle in on the Water Street Gang’s territory. This is where you spend a good bit of the first third of the game. As you complete more missions for Winston and gain the trust of the Water Street Gang you find yourself getting suck in deeper and deeper into the triad lifestyle.

    As Wei begins to get more involved inside the Sun On Yee, the stakes begin to get raised more and more. Not only are you becoming well know by all the power players in Hong Kong, you also have to  stay accountable to Pendrew, the man who is leading the investigation into the Sun On Yee. This is where Sleeping Dogs separates itself from other open-world games like GTA or Saint’s Row. While the story is set in stone with how it plays out, you have three separate menus for upgrading your skills: the Police, the Triad and the Face.

    Police XP is gained by completing investigations marked on your map with blue shields. these could be simple drug busts, which have you beating the crap out of a gang of thugs, hacking a camera on the corner they work, then head back to your apartment and watch the closed feed for a drug deal. Once the dealer is identified a simple hit of the button and the cops are on him in a minute. Many of the investigations are multi-part affairs that involve things like the illegal street racing scene to women being kidnapped and sold into the sex trade. Triad XP is marked by green shields on your map and will move forward the Sun On Yee portion of the story. At first you will be completing collection missions for Winston but soon find yourself showing rappers a night on the town and revenging your fallen brothers. A lot of the missions play out like a Chinese Godfather complete with betrayals and red weddings. Face XP are marked as yellow on your map and these are simple side quest missions that raise your face meter, or what the citizens of Hong Kong think about you.

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    Kung-Fu Upgrade

    The reward for completing all of these missions are the upgrades you receive. Each category has its own set of skills that are awaiting you. At first you find yourself simply breaking out windows to steal a car. Wouldn’t you rather just carry a slim jim with you to get quick access? The upgrade system is not as deep as Far Cry 3, but there is a lot to unlock and it is fun to try out all the abilities you open up. Once you learn how to “action jump” from your car to a speeding car you truly begin to see how Sleeping Dogs is an homage to cop movies also.

    Your fighting abilities are also full of upgrades. You are tasked with finding statues around town and returning them to your sensei, Master Sifu. With each statue returned you will learn new ways to combat your enemies. Combos, roundhouse kicks and even limb breakage are in your arsenal before long and you will want to use them…a lot.

    This leads to what is the best thing about Sleeping Dogs, the combat. One of the weakest aspects of games like GTA is that hand to hand combat and even gunplay is not particularly fun. Even when GTA 4 implemented their loose cover system, it only seemed like a minor upgrade that was avoiding a bigger problem. Sleeping Dogs has solved the problem of fighting in open-world games. How you might ask? Simple, you take your lead from the Rocksteady Batman games. When entering into hand to hand attacking enemies are highlighted in red right before they attack. Timing your counter is essential to survival in Sleeping Dogs, especially when you take on groups of 9, 10, or more guys. You can not simply go in swinging away or you will quickly find yourself with a beaten ass. When you have the counter timing down there is no better feeling than opening up your inner Bruce Lee on hosts of enemies. Striking actually feels like you are hitting and kicking something. Breaking opponents legs or arms will make other opponents cringe for a split second giving you an advantage against them.

    As if simply beating your opponents to a pulp with your fists and feet weren’t enough, you have the wonderful world of environmental kills. By grabbing your opponents everywhere you can kill them using the environment will be lit up in red. Throw them into a garbage can, crack their skull against a brick wall, electrocute them in a fuse box and even impale them on a meat hook Texas Chainsaw style. You wanna feel like Joe Pesci in Goodfellas? Play Sleeping Dogs. Wei Shen will show you how to get things done.

    You Want Beethoven Or Soufly Today?

    Driving is another area that Sleeping Dogs is a winner at. It still amazes me that after all the Grand Theft Auto releases we have had that driving in that series still feels floaty and not too realistic. Saint’s Row and now Sleeping Dogs has figued out how to solve this equation and I hope Rockstar can with GTA 5. Cars handle extremely well and feel like they have weight to them. At super high speeds you always feel in control, but still have the inkling that you are one bad move awy from an epic crash and that is a good thing. You may find yourself, as I did, spending a lot of the game driving a motorcycle around Hong Kong. While I had my fair share of cars I bought for my garage (which can be accessed throughout many parking structures placed throughout the city), I always seemed to go back to the ease and fluidity of the motorcycle. Especially when you have to weave between traffic on the interstate system or chase suspects, it is an obvious choice.

    Like other open-world games, Sleeping Dogs has a complete audio experience when you are in a vehicle. While the soundtrack may not be as big as GTA, it certainly is just as varied. Boosey and Hawkes carries your classical selections from Bach to Tchaikovsky, Sagittarius has your 80’s mix reminiscent of Vice City, a complete channel dedicated to Roadrunner recording artists and multiple Chinese artists on other stations. There really is no more  surreal experience than shooting armed enemies in a car chase and seeing their car explode as you are listening to Handel’s Messiah. Yeah, you just read that correctly.

    SLEEPING DOGS XBOX360 for PC

    Choosing Sides

    Wei Shen’s story is equal parts respect, loyalty and towards the end of the game, terror. While the characters in Sleeping Dogs are ruthless in their profession, no matter what side of the law they are on, the last 45 minutes to hour of the story goes much more dark than you expect, even after all of the blatant murder, betrayal and sex. When all the players in this game of human chess are in place the lines are so far blurred that Wei finds himself not choosing black or white, but standing in a muted gray splattered with red. Sleeping Dogs really does play out like a video game version of a John Woo film and no, Stranglehold does not count. Think of Wei Shen’s story as Hard Boiled with a controller.

    Sleeping Dogs is just plain fun. There is no simpler way to put it. Its story will keep you engrossed, especially if you are a fan of Chinese cop movies (here). While you won’t be running around beating people to death with a purple dildo like Saint’s Row 3, there is still plenty of sexual innuendo like going to get a special “massage” to up your face meter. The representation of Hong Kong is not as big as Liberty City, but it is quite large and is the perfect mix of feeling like a big city while also being memorable enough to remember where to go without looking at your map every five seconds.

    What I am trying to get at it that Sleeping Dogs may be the new kid on the block when it comes to open-world sandbox games, but it carves its own niche in the genre. People may only think of the GTA’s or Saint’s Row’s when the conversation comes up, but in a perfect world, Sleeping Dogs interjects itself right in the middle of it with a perfectly placed roundhouse kick.

    NERD RATING- 8.5/10

  • Review: Hotel Transylvania

    Photo courtesy animationmagazine
    Photo courtesy animationmagazine

    Maybe Adam Sandler has found his new niche in Hollywood. While the actors live action movies have been hitting a brick wall lately, Hotel Transylvania is his biggest hit since Grown Ups almost two and a half years ago. And while it doesn’t exactly blaze new trails in animation or even come close to touching Pixar’s unquestionable quality, it does serve as a mostly enjoyable Halloween romp.

    Count Dracula (Sandler) has built an immense castle dubbing it Hotel Transylvania, a place where all monsters can come and vacation away from the real world and be human free. Drac really has a secondary reason for the hotel being so well hidden. His daughter Mavis (Selena Gomez) lives with him and he never wants her to leave the castle so he has spent her entire life filling her head with all the reasons why humans are the most horrible creatures in existence. Now it is time for her 118th birthday and on the eve of her huge party, which will be attended by all of Dracula’s (and Sandler’s) friends Frankenstein (Kevin James), the Wolfman (Steve Buscemi), Invisible Man (David Spade) and the Mummy (Cee Lo Green), her father has promised her that she may leave the castle and explore the village closest to them for a few minutes.

    After she realizes that humans are terrible creatures, thanks to Dracula’s horde of zombie bellboys playing humans, Mavis promises to stay at the castle forever. During her party a human named Jonathan (Andy Samburg) happens upon the castle. Dracula thinks quickly and dresses him up as a long, lost relative of Frankenstein to keep the guests of the hotel unawares that a human is in their midst. For them to find out would be the end of the hotel.

    As is expected, Mavis and Jonathan fall for each other and he shows her and all of the guests that there is a lot more fun to be had in life if you just open yourself up more.

    What did you expect? It is a kids movie. It is not like we are dealing with Inception here.

    Photo courtesy nydailynews.com
    Photo courtesy nydailynews.com

    While all the voice performances are good and the animation is serviceable, Hotel Transylvania does play it safe plot wise. We get the boy meets girl, boy leaves girl, friends band together to get boy back story. The jokes are more kid based and don’t have quite the adult bite as some other animated features, but that’s OK. This movie wasn’t made for the fat, cynical, Adam Sandler weary crowd like yours truly.

    That is not to say there is no fun to be had in Hotel Transylvania. I had more than a few chuckles with jokes involving the zombie bellboys and Jon Lovitz’s performance as Quasimodo, who plays the foil of the movie as he tries to catch Jonathon and make a human pot pie out of him.

    Also fans of Samurai Jack, Dexter’s Laboratory and Star Wars: The Clone Wars should take note and give this a watch because it is directed by the legen-wait for it- dary Genndy Tartakovsky and his certain vibe can be felt throughout the film. It is a good start for his feature film directorial debut and hopefully the film’s success will get him looked at to handle more animated features.

    Hotel Transylvania has some good stuff going for it. A solid voice and quality director keep this movie from dragging into the Ferngully’s of kids films. It has its share of laughs and can easily be a Halloween movie to enjoy with your family. Your kids should have a great time with it and as an adult you can take it from me, you can watch a lot worse movies that have vampires in lead roles. Much, much worse.

    NERD RATING- 7.5/10

     

     

     

  • Review: Far Cry 3

    Fun, Intense and Disturbing. These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things.

    farcry3_16

    “Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?

    Insanity is doing the exact… same fu***ng thing… over and over again, expecting… sh** to change.”

    When these lines are spoken by what may be the best video game villain of this generation, Vaas, you would never guess by the time you get done with Far Cry 3 that he was not only speaking to your character in the game, but he might as well have been speaking to the world of first-person shooters we live in. Yearly Call of Duty’s, Battlefield’s and Medal of Honor’s have deadened us to how special a shooter can be. Lucky for us, Far Cry 3 is here to turn everything you know about shooters on its head by delivering a living, breathing world and story so unpleasant and disturbing that the random killing you do inside of the game may be the least of your worries.

    You play as Jason Brody, a kid with too much money and not enough responsibility. After taking a adventure trip around the globe you and your friends find yourself kidnapped on a tropical island after a skydiving trip. You begin the game locked in a cage with your brother and listening to the maddening exposition of Vaas, a pirate who explains that they are going to ransom you off to your parents and then sell you into the slave trade anyway. You escape soon after and after being knocked out awaken to find a man giving you a tattoo on your arm. He is Dennis and he is part of the Rakyat tribe. He explains that his tribe have been under oppression by the pirates of the island and he believes Jason is the one to help them get out from under the harsh rule of the pirate gang. Dennis explains the use of the tattoo on your arm, called the tatau, and how it will give you power to help defeat the pirates and Vaas. Jason agrees to help if Dennis helps him rescue his friends on the island.

    When you first begin your adventure it is almost overwhelming the amount of content you have at your disposal. The map stays mostly hidden until you find one of eighteen radio towers that the pirates have cut the power to. Each tower is its own small platforming puzzle which is never difficult and I never found tedious. Imagine them as the perches in Assassin’s Creed, as you restore power to the towers, the more of the map is unveiled. As your map unfolds you will see it begin to fill up with icon upon icon, a plethora of different adventures that the island holds.

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    Like Skyrim On Crack

    When I compare this game to Skyrim it is with the thought that you can become completely engrossed in learning the island, completing side missions, defeating enemy camps and looting. The enemy camps are  scattered throughout Rook Island and each one poses a different way to approach it. You have to take over these camps for the Rakyat to gain more control of the island and once you do this you push back how many enemies you will encounter in the areas around the camps. Running in full on, guns ablaze sounds like fun but it is more fun (and more worthwhile) to use stealth at first. Each camp has two possible places to turn off the alarm system. Turn off the alarm, no reinforcements will be called in. And believe me, they will quickly call them once you are seen and they will come in force. An added incentive will give you extra XP for clearing a camp with no alarms triggered.

    Once these camps are completed you open up optional bounty and hunter missions. The bounty missions are for quick reward money, but come with an exception. You must kill your bounty with a knife in the tradition of the Rakyat. Any other member of the gang may be dispatched as you will but the leader must die by a blade. Hunter missions offer you money for finding certain animals and killing them with a weapon that is chosen for you. A few of the hunts are for rare animals that can be sold off for extra cash or need to be used in creation of special items in your inventory.

    For you loot fanatics Far Cry 3 understands your (and my) addiction. Now I am not saying this game is on the level of Borderlands looting (is any game?), but you can loot to your heart’s content in this game. Unlockables litter the landscape. Loot chests abound in shacks, hiding in wreckage on the shore and even in the depths of the ocean that surrounds you. Every enemy carries their own personal stash of money and paraphernalia. It’s an addiction I tell ya! Especially being OCD as I am you can be dang sure that everyone was pick pocketed clean.

    Now with a loot system as large as this you have got to have some way to carry these items until you can sell them off and this is where Far Cry 3’s crafting system comes into play. You start off with a meager sized wallet and ruck sack for carrying loot and these must be expanded by crafting new ones. How you say? Well, by hunting of course!! If you want to be able to carry more money, loot, even hold more weapons, ammo, grenades, etc. you have to get your inner Ted Nugent going and head out into the wild and hunt game. Some of which are just fodder for your knife and bow and arrow skills like pigs, deer and goats. If you want to really expand your inventory then you better put on your big boy pants and get ready to go after tigers, leopards, komodo dragons and sharks. The first time you hear a komodo hiss and run at you is a bit unnerving. When you get out on the open waters and take out a shark from a boat knowing you have to now jump into the deep abyss to skin it and get back up before anything else chomps down on you is a rush. Never before in a game (for me) has the wildlife in a game become its own character. These animals are not just an afterthought, but a necessity for survival.

    As your inventory capability increases and you sell of your loot, you are open to purchase a host of weapons. From handguns, shotguns, SMG’s. LMG’s, sniper rifles each have four or five variations that can also be attached with silencers, retinal sights and extended clips. Once you begin to power up more and more radio towers weapons will become available to you free of charge. That is not even adding in the ability to carry four seconday items of destruction like grenades and molotov cocktails. You won’t find more weaponry this side of a military shooter.

    FARCRY3 PC GAMES SCREENHOTSFAR cry 3 pc game download icoregames

     How Dark Is Too Dark?

    When you actually take time away from the immense number of side quests and delve into Far Cry 3’s story you are going to find that it will take you places you may not wanna go. Excessive brutal violence, rampant drug use and references, the selling of people into the sex trade and even male rape. This game pulls no punches. It will hit you in the gut with its reality and then kick you while you are down. As you begin to free the island of pirate control and have more than one run in with Vaas you begin to see that a choice will be coming for you as a character and it will not be an easy one. Believing that saving your friends is the end of your journey would be folly because in many respects it is just the beginning. Do you ,as Jason Brody, truly believe you are here to free the Rakyat people and is your place here with them? The plot is paced out so well and seems like a natural progression for Jason.

    If there was one aspect of the game that doesn’t live up the greatness of the other parts it wold have to be the boss fights. They basically boil down to quick time events which I would not mind for some bosses but you begin to hate these men with such a passion that a short button mashing kind of takes away from the pleasure of defeating them. It really is a minor complaint considering how amazing the rest of the game is, but it is still there. Can’t deny it.

    There is a little frustration in the controls when platforming on the radio towers but otherwise the game feels smooth in almost every aspect. Running and gunning is a breeze and the quick inventory makes weapon swapping second nature even while you are in the dead middle of a firefight. Driving is a big part of the Far Cry 3 experience with Rook Island being so massive, so I can happily say that it is pure joy just to drive around the island no matter if you are taking roads or just seeing how off-road you can go with whatever vehicle you happen to be in at the time. When you get to the coast hop in a boat and take a stroll around the island or hell, even jump on a jet ski and try to ramp off of a shallow swimming shark. You get it yet? There are lots of modes of transportation and all of them are freaking fun. Oh yeah I almost forgot….hang gliders!!!!

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    Good Luck Multiplayer

    In a game like Far Cry 3 where the story is so memorable it can almost go forgotten that it also comes with the prerequisite multiplayer. Far Cry 3 at least attempts to change up the proceedings by adding a co-op mode also to keep you playing long after the single player is done. It was admirable of the team to try and get a co-op mode into here but it just can’t match up with the rest of the game and is nothing more than a time waster. It does have a story to go along with it that takes place six months before the events on Rook Island but it is nowhere near as deep or even decent compared to the single player. Co-op is way more linear and really breaks down into enemy waves coming at you on the maps, kind of like Horde Mode Lite.

    Vs. multiplayer is nothing to write home about, but it is good for some fun and a nice change of pace when you have been playing the games for 30 or 40 hours. You have Team Deathmatch, Transmission, Domination and Firestorm modes. Transmission is basically capture the flag and Firestorm is probably the most fun mode of the mulitplayer. Both teams must find and set fire to two fuel tankers while still defending theirs, all the while the map is catching fire and changing the routes your team can take.

    I applaud the developers for taking the time to at least make a halfway decent multiplayer when they simply could have not done one or just half-assed it because games are SUPPOSED to have it.

    Far Cry 3

     The Difference Between Good And Great

    I did not buy Far Cry 3 on release day. Far Cry 2 bored me honestly and I lumped this game into the crowd of holiday games that would probably never get played. Then I read a few reviews and some word of mouth that told me I might want to jump on this crazy train of a game. God am I glad I did! Never has a shooter engrossed me like Far Cry 3. The story is the stuff of nightmares, like the first time you watched Hostel. Wonderfully paced and even though the quick time boss battles are a bit of a downside, there is no way I can see a reason for that to affect the experience any. Vaas will change the way you think about villains in video games. When you think of the Call of Duty’s and Battlefield’s with the “terrorist of the year” bad guy, it goes to show you just how a great villain can truly make a great game. He takes those forgettable wannabe’s and slits their throats.

    Rook Island holds so many mysteries and explorable areas it is near impossible to resist spending hours on end driving, running, swimming or gliding around trying to learn every nook of the vast terrain. It is beautiful and deadly all at the same time and that is the appeal. You can be admiring the sheer size of the land and taking in a wonderful view and then get mauled by a tiger. It snaps you back to reality which is exactly what Far Cry 3 does for the shooter genre. It wakes it up from the coma of yearly military FPS games. It shows you that action, adventure, looting, hunting, driving and crafting can all co-exist together in one game. Not only can it co-exist, it can thrive.

    I could easily jump back into Far Cry 3 tomorrow and start it all over again. It is that good of an experience. I compare it to when I first played Bioshock or Mass Effect and knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that this was the reason why I play video games.

    Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?

    NERD RATING- 9.5/10