Tag: Hulk Hogan

  • Hulk Hogan Was The Third Man- 18 Years Ago Today

    It was 18 years ago today that Hulk Hogan turned on his fans and formed the N.W.O. with Kevin Nash and Scott Hall. How time flies when you have tried to erase the last decade of John Cena from your brain.

    Call it what you will. Wrestling’s Pearl Harbor (too soon?), the night that changed wrestling forever, whatever you want, just remember what it used to be like to be a wrestling fan in the late 90’s.

    Why hasn’t Toby Keith done a song about this yet?

    If this is Pearl Harbor does that mean Cena passing Flair’s championship reigns will be 9/11 (still too soon?)?

     

  • WrestleMania 30 Recap

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    So anything interesting happen last night on Game of Thrones? I only ask because WWE had their own version of the Red Wedding at WrestleMania 30 with Undertaker playing the part of…well, anyone named Stark and Lesnar was the arrows and knives.

    Before I get started full on there are two things I need to get out of the way:

    1. This is not going to be in any order. My brain will jump around as it wants to. I don’t question the madness and neither should you.

    2. I have no problem whatsoever with Brock Lesnar beating The Undertaker.

    Now let me explain #2 to a greater degree. I have maintained for a year or two that a match with The Undertaker at WrestleMania should be used to elevate young talent. Not by them beating him, but by having a great match with him. Lesnar losing last night and even HHH’s third go-round last year with Taker gained them nothing. They were already made men. That is why I thought Lesnar was being wasted at this year’s show by having a match with Taker that he could not win.

    Shows how much I know.

    With Lesnar’s win last night, this cements his place in wrestling history. Like forever.

    FOR-EV-ER

    Giving a young guy the win over Taker makes no sense. You can not predict the future of the business. Maybe you give Roman Reigns the win and he becomes “the man who breaks The Streak”. What happens if two years down the road he becomes an afterthought like Bobby Lashley, MVP or Kennedy, who were all thought to be future faces of the company? You have just squandered The Streak for nothing.

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    With HBK retired and HHH going 0-3, this leaves only two viable options on the roster that should end The Streak: Brock Lesnar and John Cena.

    These men are like Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania 24; they are the only ones that can shoulder the load of being the one who ended something legendary. When you get down to these two it becomes clear that Lesnar should be that guy. People either love him or hate him (and to Brock’s credit, he couldn’t give two shits about it), now that he has ended The Streak, wrestling fans can throw their complete hatred and ire towards him and guess what? He is fine with it.

    But why can’t Cena be the guy?

    Simple. He is the face of the WWE, whether we who hate him would like to admit. He is a decade-long brand and if he broke The Streak, that would very seriously threaten to take away the fans that have stayed true to him for ten years. Why would you even chance that? We keep waiting for this magical heel turn to make things right, but let’s come to the realization that it will not happen.

    That only leaves Brock.

    And here is the thing most people are forgetting; the only man that can ever really beat The Streak is The Undertaker. I am certain this was his call. If he chose the guy and he chose the place, then accept it and don’t forget that he wanted to end The Streak to Mark Henry at WrestleMania 22…so there is that big ass silver lining.

    And now for something completely different.

    Where The Undertaker losing felt like a funeral, the show ended as it should have with 75,000 people chanting “YES” as Daniel Bryan won the WWE World Heavyweight Title. And guess what? Both of his matches were great (as usual). How weird is it to have a champion that night in, night out will give you great matches whether it is on Raw, Smackdown or a PPV? Punk did that for the most part, but even he grew complacent and hum drum during his historic reign.

    HHH showed a lot last night proving that he can still go with the young guys, which I kind of questioned after his past two matches with Taker. His match with Bryan went 25 minutes and it didn’t feel like it. Their styles meshed well together and the finish was super hot with HHH’s post-match beatdown of Bryan.

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    The main event was a masterstroke by WWE and all the guys involved. Batista, Orton and Bryan worked their asses off and brought the crowd back from the dead (too soon?) and had them in the palm of their hands during the last ⅓ of the match. The false finishes worked well especially with the HHH involvement and the short-lived Evolution comeback.

    Side note: I don’t think there is enough Icy Hot on Earth to help Orton’s back after landing on that monitor.

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    Bryan holding both belts as the crowd lost their shit is that reason why we watch wrestling. That will stand next to Hogan slamming Andre, Warrior beating Hogan, Stone Cold passing out to Bret, all the Rock/Austin matches and all the other WrestleMania moments that are carved in our memory.

    Bray Wyatt proved he will be a main guy for a looong time.

    Not just because of that A-MAZ-ING entrance, but showing that he belonged in a big time match with Cena. Yes, Cena won. I know, I know. I oddly don’t have a problem with this because Bray gained a lot just from the feud and the match. And the spot where the fans sang while Bray conducted them…so great. We already know the type of match he can have with Daniel Bryan after their show-stealing performance at the Royal Rumble and now we know he can make a feud with Cena entertaining. Add this to his promos already being the best in the business and I will be following the buzzards for as long as they let me.

    I am running long so I will hit a few quick points:

    -The Shield did not break up (as I predicted). I kind of wished they had after only having a four minute match with Kane and the Outlaws. I know there is going to be one throwaway match on the card but how can the Divas be given ten minutes and the tag titles be on the pre-show and this be given so little time?

    -Cesaro winning the Andre the Giant Battle Royal was absolutely the right decision. Big Show is already…well, Big Show. Cesaro is one of those guys that looks to be one of a few in a generation, like Bryan or Wyatt, that you hang your hat on to be one of the next big things. How big can the Cesaro Section get? We are about to find out.

    -The only reason I am even mentioning the Divas match is because AJ retained her title which is one of the two outcomes I wanted. The other? #Emmalution

    Good point brought up last night by a friend: What if they are keeping the title on AJ to go past CM Punk’s 434 days as champion as a “f*** you” by having his girlfriend keep her title longer.

    -The opening with Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold and The Rock was better than all of last year’s WrestleMania. The night was going to be historic and that just set the tone.

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    Here are my Top 5 moments from WrestleMania 30:

    1. Daniel Bryan leading 75,000 people in a “YES” chant as champion.

    2. Brock Lesnar defeating The Undertaker.

    3. The massive boner-iffic opening for wrestling fans with Hogan, Austin and Rock.

    4. Cesaro throwing Big Show over the top rope and winning the battle royal

    5. My reaction the Lesnar winning which consisted of my hands on my mouth letting out a muffled “Holy Shit” like Kenny from South Park.

    And we still have tonight’s Raw!

  • Fat Guy In A Little Singlet- Raw Recap, March 10, 2014

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    SWEET BABY BEARDED JESUS, THEY DID IT.

    WWE took a hold of the Daniel Bryan train and pointed that son of a bitch right at the main event of WrestleMania.

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    With Mania being only four weeks away, I am sure I was not the only one thinking that Bryan would be facing HHH and they would stick to their guns and have Orton and Batista get booed out of the building.

    Someone realized that by staying the course, WrestleMania would have been the biggest shit taken on New Orleans since Katrina. Whoever that someone is…thank you. If you will email me and tell me who you are I will buy you a very nice seafood dinner.

    Of course, the WWE could have been trolling us the entire time and they are doing Chris Cooper’s maniacal laugh from The Muppets at what fools all of us “internet” fans are. I could not give less of a shit. We got what we wanted for WrestleMania.

    Now don’t think I am saying Bryan is automatically winning the title. I could see Batista winning just as easily, setting him up as the main heel of the company. But this is also not a normal WrestleMania either. It is WrestleMania 30. It is like a big anniversary for your parents and you want it to end with them hugging and kissing while the family “awes”, not with your mother calling your dad a drunken loser and your dad saying he bang his secretary ten years ago.

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    We also officially got Cena vs. Wyatt set for Mania last night. Now we just play the waiting game of Wyatt bitch slapping Cena for four weeks on the mic then have Cena overcome all the odds…blah, blah, blah. Same shit, different decade.

    This could be a star-making, career-defining moment if they let Wyatt go over, but I think we all know better than that. It is like going to the dog track and betting all of your money on a chihuahua when he is racing against Clifford the Big Red Dog and getting pissed when he loses.

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    The Undertaker graced us with his nine minute entrance and thirty second promo. It’s all cool, cause Uncle Paul was there to carry the load. I loved how he compared Taker’s streak against the other greats who have come nowhere close. Whenever I hear Heyman on the mic selling the hell out of a match between a guy that only wrestles once a year and another guy who is not even there, it makes me wonder how much better the past five years could have been if he had been with the WWE full-time.

    Hell, he probably could have gotten Ryback a world title if he had been his voice the entire time. As frightening as that sounds, that’s how good Heyman is.

    The rest of Raw was used for a slow burn of feuds we hope pay off at Mania. The Shield had another great match with The Rhodes Brothers, who took time away from playing with WWE Lego’s in the back to give The Shield their win back from last year. With only four weeks left, they are going to have to start making that crack they keep talking about into a full-blown explosion.

    Unless…they have decided to keep The Shield together past WrestleMania, which is juuuust fine with me.

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    BROTHER, BROTHER! WWE UNIVERSE! WWE NETWORK! CHRIS LEMMON! BROTHER!

    OK, I do like the idea of the Andre the Giant Memorial 30-Man Battle Royal. It gets a lot of guys who would be in the back eating catering on the card and pays respect to the legacy of Andre. Anyone else thinking a Big Show win?

    Sheamus and Christian wrestled…again…again. I applaud these two for working hard the past few weeks even when no one in the crowd seemed to care. That wasn’t the case last night. Their Memphis Street Fight was damn fun to watch. Christian went a little 12 Years a Slave on Sheamus’ back with that kendo stick. Doesn’t help he is basically a six foot five inch bottle of Elmer’s glue either.

    How about that Brogue Kick through the bass drum?

    If you did not watch the match last night, that sentence made it sound like I just jumbled words together like the little magnets on the refrigerator.

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    Once again, Cesaro has become an afterthought on Raw after his match with Cena last month. Seems like I predicted that would happen, but I won’t get a dickish and say it…wait.

    He and Swagger are headed for splitsville and will be lucky to have a match against each other on the Mania card. I swear they better not pre-show Cesaro. You did so much right last night WWE. Don’t cock it up.

    Here is the updated card for WrestleMania 30 after last night:

    Randy Orton vs. Batista vs. (Daniel Bryan?) for the WWE World Heavyweight Title

    John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt

    The Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar

    HHH vs. Daniel Bryan (if Bryan wins he is in the main event)

    Andre the Giant Memorial 30-Man Battle Royal

    Till next week!

     

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    If Helen Mirren twerking did not make your day, I can’t help you.

     

     

     

     

     

  • Hulk Hogan Named Host Of WrestleMania 30

    Courtesy WWE
    Courtesy WWE

    Today the WWE announced what most of the internet wrestling community knew; Hulk Hogan is on his way to WrestleMania.

    The Hall of Famer will serve as host of WrestleMania 30 in New Orleans on April 6th. The Rock was the last “host” back at WrestleMania 27 in Atlanta. Hogan will not be in a match or be doing anything physically taxing since the WWE doctors would not clear him because of the fact he is held together by fishing line and metal plates after multiple surgeries to his knees and back.

    The fact that Hogan will be there is a good thing for WWE. The card for WrestleMania 30 is shaping up to be less than expected and having him at the show, no matter how, will bring a great nostalgia factor.