Do I have to tell you why I love Robert Rodriguez? Mainly because he likes to take the weirdest, drug induced dreams of people like me and make them a beautiful, deadly reality. Case in point of this is the poster above for Machete Kills, the sequel to 2010’s Machete which starred Mexican Chuck Norris and all-around great human being, Danny Trejo.
The next sentence is something I never thought I would ever type because it has remained only a figment of my imagination.
The poster features Sofia Vergara with a bra that has gatling guns attached to the front. Here is how I imagined this pitch going down:
Robert Rodriguez: I have an idea for Machete Kills.
Executive: Alright Robert, shoot.
RR: Remember how in Planet Terror I had Rose McGowan get her leg taken off an we put a gun on it?
Executive: I do!! That was one of the best thing about Grindhouse!!
RR: I’m glad you think so. You know Sofia Vergara right?
Executive: The hot Latina from Modern Family that I wish was my wife instead of the fresh death that I come home to everyday?
RR: Bingo! Well I am going to have her wear a bra with guns on the front so it looks like she is shooting bullets out of her nipples.
Executive:…………………..
RR: You OK? What do you think?
Executive: Sorry, I was too busy touching myself.