Blog
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Scott’s Best And Worst WWE Superstars 2014
2014 started out to be a good year for WWE. You could tell a change was in the air, but just like Bray Wyatt, they know how to screw things up. As much as I complain about the product overall there are bright spots that give me hope that one day we will be ushered into the next generation of sports entertainment. I call it the A.C. (After Cena) era. Because, in all honesty, no one can ever truly get to the top until he decides to go away.
Not out of the title scene, I mean not there.
Sitting at home in his sad, big house with his vapid girlfriend wondering why people reflect on Hogan well, when he used his entire career to hold people down, while Cena was the company man for over a decade and people spew hate at him daily.
Let’s take a look at the five superstars that lit up a lackluster product and the five that make me wish Nitro was still on the air so I can turn to it when they are on television.
Best
5. Daniel Bryan
Leading up to WrestleMania 30, Bryan was on the biggest wave of crowd favor since Stone Cold became the man in the late 90’s. It was truly great to watch his rise to the top and made WWE’s biggest show of the year feel truly special for him and us. Since April, his life has been a shitstorm. Losing his father, vacating his title due to injury and not being able to heal completely to where some are wondering if he will ever be able to compete again. Still, despite all the bad, he got married to Brie Bella and had a night wrestlers only dream of. Nothing can take away his (or our) memories of that night.
Bryan announced he is returning to the Royal Rumble and whether this is real or a work is still in the air. He could return and win or this could be an out to have Lesnar attack him setting up Cena as the savior of our wrestling souls which leads to Bryan really retiring. Wrestling, worse than a bipolar relationship.
4. Dolph Ziggler
Has anyone had more career turnarounds than Ziggler? His entire career has seemed like one big Vince McMahon dollar bet that he can make a man go crazy by almost giving him the ball then pulling a Lucy on Charlie Brown. His world title win a few years ago looked to be the moment when he rose to the top, but a Swagger-induced concussion cut that short. I have never seen anyone punished for getting a serious concussion before. You win again, WWE. Imagine if Peyton Manning had concussion symptoms and instead of sitting him until he was better, they traded him.
2014 was Ziggler’s best year with the company. No, there weren’t any world titles, but he did something that no one has done in almost a decade. He made the Intercontinental Championship mean something. With only one world champion (who shows up occasionally), the IC title is back to being the second most important championship in the company and WWE realized that you need someone that can make fans care about both the performer and the title together. It also doesn’t hurt that Ziggler never takes a day off in the ring, making every match on TV as important as a PPV. The roster may be too crowded for him to be in the world title picture, but he is doing something more important. Bringing a dormant piece of WWE history back to prominence.
3. Sami Zayn
I don’t want Sami Zayn to go to the main roster. Why would I? Is it selfish of me to not want what I am sure is his dream as a performer? Yes, but the track record of NXT guys (sans The Shield and Wyatts) to Raw is about as good as Joss Whedon TV shows. Big E is acting like the church scene from Don’t Be A Menace, Bo Dallas is a more positive Zack Ryder and they want to turn Adrian Neville into GODDAMN MIGHTY MOUSE!
Sami’s 2014 was littered with great matches with Cesaro, Tyler Breeze, Tyson Kidd and Neville. The match with Neville at REvolution was my favorite match of the year. He can entertain in a four minute match the same as he can in a twenty minute one. His promo work leading into his last match with Neville was great and he is the most over, believable superstar WWE has had in a long time. Why would I want him to go to Raw and have them turn into another Evan Bourne?
Do I think Sami has the ability to make it huge on the big show? Hell yes. It is the lazy writers and the current state of WWE’s product I don’t trust. For now, let’s enjoy Sami Zayn, NXT champion in 2015.
2. Damien Mizdow
In the span of a few months Damien Sandow went from a different gimmick every week to the most over guy this side of John Cena. You would think being Miz’s stunt double would be one step away from the dreaded future endeavors bit on WWE.com. Nope. He took his duty as a stunt double and ran with it, more times than not being the most entertaining part of Raw. When he and Miz won the tag team championships it showed how he literally turned shit into gold.
1. Seth Rollins
Seth Rollins. Proof that we “smart” wrestling fans don’t know shit. When The Shield was split up last year we all spouted off that Rollins was a great match guy, but would fall to the Marty Jannetty epidemic that has claimed so many careers. I mean, look at Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns. These were the two Shield guys that had the “it” look.
Guess what smarks? We don’t know shit.
Rollins aligned with The Authority, which was the best possible thing, and had built-in feuds with Rollins and Ambrose ready to go. Throw in the heat with Orton with Rollins’ knack for getting an audience wrapped around his finger with promos and Rollins is the best heel not just in WWE, but in wrestling today. Oh yeah, and he delivers in the ring night after night after night. WWE wants 2015 to be the year of Roman Reigns. I think Seth will have something to say about that.
Worst
5. Kane
Is Kane just an employee like Milton in Office Space? He collects a paycheck, but it’s due to a computer error and he was supposed to be let go three years ago. One week he looks like he running for political office, the next he wears a mask that looks like a t-bone strapped to his face with fake hair. After shows he goes to his desk and looks for his stapler.
4. Roman Reigns
Being here isn’t all Reigns’ fault. I was one of the many who was excited for Reigns post-Shield breakup. He looked like he could one day be “the man”. He still can. Leave it to WWE to push him down the throat of fans so frequently and vigorously that we feel like we spent a bad night in prison.
Batista wasn’t exactly ready in the ring and on the mic when he was given the title at WrestleMania 21, but he learned by being tossed into the fire. Maybe Reigns can do the same. If he can’t, WWE just burned someone who could have been the face of the company before he was ready. There might not be any coming back from that.
3. Adam Rose
Rose didn’t have time to take root in NXT and really see if the character could catch on. He had a catchy theme song and WWE figured they could Fandango him into popularity. Now he is in a months (months!) long feud with a bunny. Remember when Norman Smiley wrestled Ralphus in WCW and you said “man, WWE would never do this”. Welcome to the party, pal. Despite this, I am not a lemon. The former Leo Kruger could still find his place if a heel Rose is handled properly.
2. John Cena
This could easily be seen as an “I hate John Cena” post. I do, for the record, but there is reasoning for him being on here. He won’t go away. Cena has been on top of WWE for longer than Hogan was during his 80’s run. Hogan left the summer after WrestleMania IX, mainly because of the government investigation against Vince, yet the timing was perfect. Hulkamania had run its course (for the first time). It was time for a new look.
John Cena and WWE don’t want this to happen now. They are clinging onto Cena’s reign at the top (a decade!) so tightly they are missing not just the next big thing (whoever that ends up being), but causing a whole generation of superstars to not see what their real worth is. A feud with Cena should elevate a star. It turns out to be poison. Remember how over Bray Wyatt was going into WrestleMania last year? A couple of losses to Cena and a screwy win later, he was an afterthought by Summerslam.
As Matt Fowler said, “ten years is not an accomplishment, it is an assault”.
1. Michael Cole, JBL and Jerry Lawler
With all the facepalming bad things WWE put on TV this year it amazes me how no one seems concerned about how bad commentary is. I have no problem saying this is the worst is has been in the show’s history. That includes the team of Rob Bartlett, Macho Man and Vince. Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan and Mongo (is my thumb in dog’s ass) McMichael had more entertaining banter. I don’t blame Lawler. He works well when he has someone talented to be the counterpoint. His work with Vince and JR are evidence of that. It is JBL and Cole that seem to forget that they are there to engage the viewer with what is happening in the ring. Is there someone giving a promo? Insert quips here and there about whether the heel/face is right/wrong. Is there a match going on? Talk about the feud in its current state and call out the moves as they happen. What they don’t seem to understand is that you can set up other talking points during all of this.
-Wrestler A sure is taking it to Wrestler B
-Yeah, he is taking out all his aggression from what Wrestler C did to him last week. There’s a bulldog!
-Wrestler A with a kickout at two. He is showing some fight out there.
Instead, this is how matches go.
Cole: Go to the WWE App and watch exclusive content during the commercial. If you don’t know how, here is a step by step process.
JBL: MAGGLE! IF YOU DON’T HAVE WWE NETWORK AND ARE PAYING $50 FOR PPV’S YOU ARE RETARDED! MAGGLE!
Cole: Then you hit install on your phone. Goldust hits a move. What a maneuver.
King: On your phone? Install on your phone?
JBL: HOW DID CENA OVERCOME THE ODDS MAGGLE?! EVERYTIME! HE WRESTLES TONIGHT, RIGHT? I’VE GOT SOME BAD NEWS! I LOVE THAT! MAGGLE! MAGGLE!
Cole: The App is free. In case you missed it, here is how to download it. Goldust picks up the victory.
It is like being donkey punched for three hours on Monday nights. Actually, I would feel more appreciated after being donkey punched. When you long for the days of Matt Striker there is something wrong. So, so wrong.
Even TNA is doing something to fix their commentary. That’s right. TNA is actually leading the way in actively trying to fix one of its problems before WWE does. Scary as shit.
P.S. Lawler has been moved to Smackdown with Michael Cole and Booker T. is the third member of the team on Raw. This was announced a few days ago. Will commentary be any better? Take out Lawler’s line from earlier and insert Booker T. saying “shucky ducky quack quack”.
No, it won’t be.
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WWE Changes Announce Teams For Raw And Smackdown
Raw and Smackdown will be getting new announce teams next week. WWE announced that starting Monday, January 12th Michael Cole, JBL and Booker T. will be the new announce team on Raw. Smackdown will have Cole, Byron Saxton and Jerry “The King” Lawler.
Lawler was hospitalized last week with diverticulitis. I think the move was made for Lawler’s health. He won’t be required to be on a live show and if he misses future Smackdown tapings they have Cole and Saxton to pick up the slack. Plus, does Smackdown even register on WWE’s radar?
What does this all mean? Get ready to hear “shucky ducky quack quack” ten more times than you are used to as JBL yells “MAGGLE! MAGGLE!”.
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Nerd Rating’s 2015 Gaming Predictions
Scott
1. Starfox and Zelda Wii U will release in 2015.
Nintendo has said that Starfox will be playable at E3 and set for release this year. Zelda is also supposed to release this year, but I think many doubt Nintendo can make good on that. I think they know what situation the Wii U is in and is making 2015 the make or break year for the console. If Starfox and Zelda can not breathe some life into it, then the Wii U is a lost cause.
2. Resident Evil 7 will be announced. Will drop all unnecessary bullshit and be like Resident Evil.
Resident Evil 6 was the best selling of the franchise (no, you stop buying that!) and yet, I think Resident Evil 7 will go back to its roots and try to recapture the feel of the original. Maybe set in a mansion or large facility. Prediction or just one guy’s wild fantasy?
3. Xbox One will drop to $349 for good at E3.
Microsoft won the holiday season by dropping Xbox One to $349 along with some great bundles. The promotion ended on January 3rd and is now back to $399. While having more holiday sales is great, they still are playing catch up with the PS4. Early year sales should reflect the need to keep the price drop in effect. E3 will be a big stage to announce the new price.
4. Batman: Arkham Knight will lead into Rocksteady’s next unannounced game featuring the Justice League.
I know that the Batman: Arkham Knight collector’s edition statue may have spoiled the end of the game, but this is something I have thought would happen for a while now. Rocksteady said they were ending their Batman story with Arkham Knight, they didn’t say anything about what story they were starting
5. Rockstar will announce their next big release. Will be either Red Dead or Bully sequel.
Please be Red Dead. Please be Red Dead. Please be Red Dead. I will give you what you want. Please!
Trey
1. Nintendo
This is the pivotal year for the house that Miyamoto built as far as the home console market is concerned. I love Zelda and Star Fox as much as the next guy, but those two titles are not going to suddenly move millions of systems. I’m not counting them out yet, but if Wii U sales continue to lag and they continue to lose third-party support, I don’t know what can save them.
2. Multiplayer
Whether you loved Destiny or hated it, the fact remains that it did not permanently alter the gaming landscape as planned. In my opinion, it’s because you can’t plan game-changers like Counter-Strike, Halo, and Modern Warfare. We are due for such a game, though, and I think we will see it this year… it’s probably not Battlefield: Hardline, though. Sorry.
3. “Hardcore” Titles
The Souls series has taken a portion of the gaming world by storm in the past five years and spawned numerous poor copy-cats, along with a few genuinely good titles of the same ilk. Both Bloodborne and Deep Down are slated for release this year, but I think we’ll see a new IP in a different genre than action-fantasy that scratches the hardcore itch and gets the attention of the industry.
4. HD Remakes
Square Enix has already announced a PS4 re-release of their PS3 re-release of Final Fantasy X, which isn’t even a year old as I write this. Capcom is bringing DmC and Devil May Cry 4 to next-Gen, but not until after they bring us a new version of the GameCube version of the original PlayStation game Resident Evil. Considering I will buy all of those from Capcom, this trend is here to stay.
5. Game Journalism
Whether you feel the industry is obsolete, corrupt, out-of-touch, pretentious, or just boring, it all boils down to the same thing: The traditional methods of game reporting and reviewing are dying off, replaced by social media, “let’s play” video, and live-streaming. This year, keep an eye out for ridiculous activity from publishers and existing media outlets as they try to stave off the inevitable.
Erich
1. More HD remakes
I think the trend of HD remakes is far from over I expect a Mass Effect trilogy HD bundle, Dead Space trilogy HD, and Bioshock HD
2. An evening of the sales floor
I think that the Xbone and the PS4 will find an even sales number as the One picks up speed in China
3. Big Announcements
Red Dead Revolution, Fallout 4, Gears, (The Gears of War Sequel) Mass Effect 4, and a new Volition game will be announced this year
4. Delays
Kingdom Hearts, Last Guardian, Fable Legends, and Doom will all be delayed into at least 2016
5. The Wii U continues to lag
No matter what anyone says about Smash Bros. Or a new Zelda, I genuinely believe that this poor little console needs to be put out of its misery. Come on Wii 3 the search for Wii 2.
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Jurassic Parks & Recreation Trailer Already Wins 2015
http://youtu.be/pyuGyq22Ris
I would like to present the award for “The Whole Internet” to the folks behind this trailer which is too much awesome sauce to handle.
We knew these types of mash-ups would happen, but I did not expect to have a clear winner this early.
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2014: A Year Of Surprises. Erich’s Game Of The Year
Surprise, your game does not work. Surprise, this game is awesome. Surprise, you bought the rights to a game without faces.Game Of The Year
Dragon Age: Inquisition
No one who knows me will be surprised by a Bioware game being my GOTY, but this is more than that.
Inquisition checked off almost all of the things I have wanted from the franchise, Epic fights check, Deep conversations with characters who feel like old friends check, Morale ambiguous character missions that leave you feeling cold inside, double check. I will say that the overall story is a little weak, (Aside from philysophical musings on the nature of Life, the Universe, and Everthing) but the character moments are the strongest of the franchise.
Runner-Up
Sleeping Dogs Definitive Edition
Yes, this is the second time I beat Sleeping Dogs, and yes it remains the best example of a serious take on the open world GTA style game (The Saints Row franchise being a less than serious take) It is no small thing to say that I enjoy punching people in the face in this game more then I enjoy it in the Arkham franchise. On top of rock solid gameplay, this newer version is simply gorgeous.Surprise Of The Year
South Park The Stick of Truth
I have a confession to make, I only started watching South Park last year. In that year however I watched the first 16 seasons in a mad dash, of laughter, queasiness, and a vague level of not being sure if I should be offended. All of those things continued to greatness in SoT. Confession number 2, up until SoT I had never really enjoyed turn based RPG’s. Holy $#!+ balls what a way to get into one. I only wish we could get another.
Surprise Runner-Up
Wolfenstein: The New Order
When I watched the first WtNO trailer I was not impressed, and almost immediately wrote it off as a game doomed to fail. Boy, was I wrong. Wolfenstein brought me back to a time when fighting Nazis was cool, and FPS’ were not cursed by short campaigns, and sequalities. Back to the days of Halo: Combat Evolved, and Half Life 2. In short Wolfenstein made me feel young again, and can you ask more from anything?
Biggest Disappointment
Watch Dogs
We all criticize Blizzard for the shiny lies that are their game trailers, but with Watch Dogs I feel that Ubisoft is equally guilty. For a game that promised me freedom, and the ability to hack anything, the number of things I could hack was surprisingly limited. For instance, some police departments are issued guns that can only be fired by the officer the gun is assigned to, why couldn’t I hack guns? I could hack cars to start them, why couldn’t I turn off cars that were chasing me? The year before Ubi gave me Jason Brody and Vas, before that Ezio Auditore De firenzi, and Altiar. For this game they give me Aiden, and boring mob boss number 3 (Irish Pallette). Now I will give them credit for creating the single best Johnny Gat knockoff ever (Jordi) but why was he not in more of the game? In a story that is supposed to make me question the security of my data the only real question I am left with is; was that maybe French chick hot? I am still not sure.
Disappointment Runner-Up
Destiny
The only reason these two are not switched is that Ubisoft lied to me about Watch Dogs, I lied to myself about Destiny. I knew that I had not seen enough content from the trailers, I knew that the beta had looked boring as hell. I knew (breaks into sobbing) I knew…
Honorable Mention
Minecraft (Xbox One)
There is too much. For someone who loved the infinite possibilities of Minecraft, the upgraded version scares me on the inside. -
Ant-Man Trailer Proves Michael Douglas Is One Hell Of A Motivational Speaker
No wonder he could convince Catherine Zeta-Jones to sleep with him for multiple years. After listening to that I want to be Ant-Man and I am a 300 pound walking Taco Bell.
Don’t get me wrong, there will always be a hole in my nerd heart for not getting to see Edgar Wright’s version happen, but this trailer has alleviated my concerns some.
Ant-Man releases on July 17th.
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Demons, Dragons And Dropships: Trey’s Game Of The Year 2014
It is, of course, that time of year again, when we look at the hours upon hours of time spent in front of our TVs and monitors and try to sift through it all and proclaim “These fourteen hours! These fourteen arbitrary hours were the best!” I played an astonishingly small number of games to completion in the past year, and yet have an admittedly huge slate of things waiting in the wings already this year.
There are games missing from this list that may surprise you, especially since the absence of a few surprised me. South Park: The Stick of Truth captivated me, and I spent a solid twelve hours playing it one Sunday so I could finish it before the weekend was over. Yet I completely forgot about it until I saw it on Scott’s list. MGS V: Ground Zeroes was basically Hideo Kojima inviting me to look into the future and see what true next-Gen games have the potential of being, given the right guidance. No matter how much I love it, though, I can’t in good conscience list it here.
The end result is a list that I genuinely put time and consideration into, and games which arguably belong if for no other reason than they made a big enough impression – good or bad – to stand out against 365 days’ worth of gaming, reading, watching, listening, and living. On a side note, Thomas Was Alone is out for next-Gen consoles now. No, the rectangles don’t look any different. Yes, you should play through it again.
…Scott put Skyrim on his list. Was I allowed to put Fallout 3 on mine last year? Nope. Am I bitter? A little. Should he check under his car for homemade bottlecap mines before leaving the house? *Shrug*
Game of the Year
Titanfall (Xbox One)
If I were making a list of games that are the polar opposite of my 2013 Game of the Year (Thomas Was Alone), Titanfall would be pretty high up there. With the second-biggest hype train this year – the first belongs to a game appearing later on the list – this AAA, story-barren, multiplayer-only, glossy-graphics FPS won me over from the very first beta match I played. The wall-running and jetpacking mechanics have changed mobility in shooters for good, and this pilot still hasn’t gotten tired of hearing “Standby for Titanfall,” and then watching several tons of death plummet down from orbit.
I will admit that the longevity of Titanfall has slipped a bit in these later months, though that is in no way the fault of the team at Respawn. The monthly free content updates have brought excellent new features and play-modes, even if the promise of new titans remains unfulfilled. Interestingly enough, I have hated most of the new maps I paid for with the season pass, but don’t consider it a waste of money, because each new release at least got us playing Titanfall again for a while.
Runner-Up #1
Diablo III: Ultimate Evil Edition (Xbox One)
Diablo III has been a flashpoint for gamers over the past few years, largely due to PC-specific issues such as Blizzard requiring an internet connection at all times, the real-world-money auction house, and the genuine lack of endgame content at launch. Constant patches, updates, and the Reaper of Souls expansion have alleviated some of those concerns, none of which were ever a problem with the next-Gen console re-re-release I played.
Diablo III: UEE joins the ranks of Borderlands, Castle Crashers, and Marvel Ultimate Alliance as being a game where the co-op is so well-executed that it’s an integral part of the experience for me; I only played a few brief hours alone, usually just to grind out one more level before logging off, and rarely enjoyed it. If you have two or three friends and an itch for some classic dungeon-crawling, loot-grabbing, “oh shit, this new ability does what?!” action, this is the game for you.
Runner-Up #2
Dragon Age: Inquisition (Xbox One)
For years now, Erich and I have mocked people who tried to sway us toward Final Fantasy XIII with the promise of “If you just get past the first thirty hours, it gets really good!” I am sitting at the twenty-hour mark of DA: Inquisition and have loved every minute of it so far, but I’ll be damned if everyone I trust on games won’t shut up about how “the real game doesn’t even start until the twenty-five-hour mark.” The game offers a staggering amount of content, most of which is well-balanced and evenly-paced by having you participate in side activities as a prerequisite to unlocking main quest missions.
Inquisition manages to do what so many open-world RPGs – looking at you, Elder Scrolls – either can’t or won’t do, in that it never sacrifices “scale” in the name of “scope.” When you decided whether or not to go hunt ten rams in order to help feed and clothe refugees, the end result has a genuine impact on the greater narrative; to the same end, the large-scale, world-changing decisions you make generate real reactions and even consequences within your party, and leave you wondering if saving the world is worth losing a friend.
Biggest Surprise
Wolfenstein: The New Order (Xbox One)
My interest in The New Order was zero from the first trailer, and all the consecutive marketing leading up to launch did little but somehow make me less interested. When Beth told me she was going to pick it up, only our friendship kept me from being overly negative about it. I happened to be off that day, so she brought it over to see if my mind could be changed. The answer was simple: Yes. It could be changed.
The New Order doesn’t do anything particularly new or flashy; instead, it takes mechanics from a generation of solid shooters – Resistance, Half-Life 2, BioShock, Call of Duty, Rage – throws chest-high cover and health regeneration out the window, wraps it all up in a story that’s way better than I could have ever guessed, and loads it into an incredibly detailed double-barrel shotgun for maximum impact. Oh, and you get to shoot lasers at Nazis on the moon, which makes me wonder why you’re even still reading this.
Biggest Disappointment
Destiny (Xbox One)
Remember how I said I didn’t feel the Titanfall season pass was a waste of money, because at least it kept us playing Titanfall for a while? Yeah, the $30 I spent on the Destiny season pass might as well have been lit on fire as a sacrifice to Bungie. What fun I had with Destiny was only managed with my friends, and none of them picked up the pass; Hell, several of them don’t even own the game anymore! Those who haven’t traded it in aren’t really chomping at the bit to sacrifice money of their own, and I can hardly blame them.
Out of all the possible complaints, the best example of why Destiny is an abject failure in my mind comes from the fabled “loot cave” that dominated the servers for several weeks. All of the things that Destiny was supposed to deliver – tight shooter mechanics, cool gear, social participation with random strangers, big public events that pulled in everyone on the map – were realized in that small corner of the Cosmodrome for a few genuinely memorable nights. Then, as best any of us can tell, Bungie heard people were having fun, yelled “Hey you kids, get off our lawn!” and turned on the sprinklers.
Honorable Mention
Saints Row IV (Xbox One)
Yeah, yeah, Saints Row IV was on my list last year. You know how many shits I give? Z.E.R.O. You know why? Because it’s getting re-released on next-Gen in three weeks! With new content! So guess what that means, kids?! There’s a really good chance that Saints Row IV: Re-Elected is on my 2015 GOTY list, too! Murder time, fun time!!! FOUR MORE YEARS!!
Dishonorable Mention
Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel (Xbox One)
…*sigh.* This game is on here specifically so that my own, personal shame can be made known. It was 100% my idea to pick it up, and after the disappointment of Destiny, there were several weeks when my mantra was “It’s ok, we’ll have a new Borderlands soon!” It’s not that The Pre-Sequel is a bad game, truthfully. Rather, it’s just… not Borderlands, or even Borderlands 2 (which I thought was inferior to the first one.) We managed… four play sessions? It may have only been three. I don’t care. I’m literally bored from thinking about it.
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That’s So 2014: Scott’s Game Of The Year (And More) Extravaganza
Game of the Year
South Park: The Stick of Truth
Look at some of the achievements for this game and you know what to expect: shit your pants during a boss battle, find Jesus while playing as a Jew, fart on 100 animals, join the KKK.
South Park fans would not be surprised by this. The surprising thing is that The Stick of Truth is a great turned-based RPG (where did all of those go?) with a script written by Matt Stone and Trey Parker that rivals the best stuff they have done in 18 years on the show. Great time was taken by Obsidian to ensure that this would look and feel like you were playing an actual episode of South Park including every character imaginable from Al Gore to Scott Malkinson (he has diabetes).
I laughed plenty at The Stick of Truth and then I made my way to the abortion clinic and was attacked by Nazi zombie fetuses who squealed “sieg heil” at me. I had to pause the game while I laughed so hard tears streamed down my face. It was one of those laughs that you only have a certain number of times in your life.
Then, I went to Canada.
South Park: The Stick of Truth is the funniest game ever created. In a world of sci-fi/military super-serious, apocalyptic games, it is a breath of fart-filled, shit-throwing air. I loved every bit of it.
Runners-Up
Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor
While some were disappointed with Peter Jackson’s handling of The Hobbit, few had anything negative to say about Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor. Creating a new franchise in a world beloved by millions was a bold move that paid off big. From the believable inclusions of Gollum and Sauron to the “nemesis system” that redefines how you approach your enemies, Shadow of Mordor made me want to continue after the story was over if only to play the puppet master of orcs. It is the best representation of Tolkien in the medium. It is also the best Assassin’s Creed game of the year.
Skyrim
Skyrim is three years old. I know this. Why is it in contention for Game of the Year? Because this year, after putting over 100 hours into my first character I decided to start fresh from the start with a new race, new abilities and go to places I either never traversed or went to late in my first playthrough. What I got was a wonderful trip down memory lane while having a new feeling of discovery at the same time. Not many things can give you that. Skyrim did.
Biggest Disappointment
WWE 2K15
It would be easier to just let you read my review of this to show you why this was a move back for the franchise in a year fans were expecting new ideas and forward thinking.
This One Time At Wrestling Camp. Scott’s WWE 2K15 Review
Biggest Surprise
Broken Games
Maybe Battlefield 4 was the herald of things to come. With today’s consoles married to the magical online world more and more, developers have taken the opportunity to release games that are not ready to play. Why finish a title when you have a release date to meet and can just patch it until it is fixed? It is a regular slice of gaming life to open your game, put it in your console and have a “day one” patch. Funny how a few years ago, no one (in the console gaming world anyway) hardly knew what a “day one” patch was.
It is simply this: developers (trying to meet publishers release date) could not get everything done during crunch and decided, instead of delaying their game, they would release it and fix it after buyers had already bought it.
No. Bad dog. If you are charging $60 for something, I want a finished product.
Patches do not bother me. If they are for bug fixes and to shore up stability, that is a necessity. But the fact Halo: The Master Chief Collection had to have a 20GB patch containing almost all of the multiplayer when you first put the game in the system is lunacy.
Here is the real enima of it all: even after installing the patch, THE GAME DIDN’T FUCKING WORK! IT IS BARELY WORKING NOW. TWO MONTHS LATER!
This isn’t even getting into detail of missing faces or falling into the world in Assassins Creed: Unity or the fact that DriveClub is just now working. DriveClub was released in October, by the way.
Now there are some who have done the right thing. Batman: Arkham Knight delayed their release eight months. The Witcher 3 was running full-speed into its February release when CD Projekt RED moved the title to May after seeing the carnage of this fall and not wanting their premiere title tarnished by the same thing. Even Battlefield learned its lesson, delaying Hardline to March.
We deserve better as gamers. Most of us have limited resources and have to be careful what we throw our money at. To get home with a game that is not finished is a big “fuck you” to the people who are the lifeblood of the industry. Gamers are the ones who decide what is popular and what is not. We have the ultimate power to say “enough is enough”. Let’s remember that.
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District 9 Director Shows Off His Alien Film Concept Work
Neill Blomkamp made a big splash with his debut film District 9 in 2009. It was nominated for Best Picture in the process. I did not like it as many did, but did think his next release, Elysium, was more my style. His next film, Chappie, releases this March.
The director took to his Instagram to reveal that he was working on a new Alien film, which the studio may or may not have been aware of.
“Was working on this. Don’t think I am anymore. Love it though. #alien #xenomorph”
“They didn’t really even know I was working on it ha”
Alien is my favorite film franchise. I will even defend Alien 3 (bring it) and enjoyed Prometheus even if it wasn’t what everyone expected. After seeing Blomkamp’s concept art, I would give my first born future child to see this come to fruition. Check out the shots.
Looks like Blomkamp was going to act like the events of Alien 3 never happened with the return of Dwayne Hicks.
Weyland-Yutani seems to have got a hold of a derelict ship.
What is this obelisk-type monument in the warehouse?
Ripley finds a cocooned human.
An Alien queen makes her return.
Blomkamp’s desk with xenomorph head. Notice the Master Chief helmet possibly left over from his work on the Halo film.
The most interesting shot. Looks like Ripley in a xenomorph headdress. Note suggests it is actually the helmet of the space jockeys from the original Alien.
Yes, this is the second time I beat Sleeping Dogs, and yes it remains the best example of a serious take on the open world GTA style game (The Saints Row franchise being a less than serious take) It is no small thing to say that I enjoy punching people in the face in this game more then I enjoy it in the Arkham franchise. On top of rock solid gameplay, this newer version is simply gorgeous.
There is too much. For someone who loved the infinite possibilities of Minecraft, the upgraded version scares me on the inside.
