Category: Video Games

This One Time, On The Internet- February 26, 2014

Here are some quick hits from the world of movies, TV, games, sewage treatment plants, Amazon wish lists, whatever catches our fancy.

Movies

Ghostbusters 3

Harold Ramis passed on Monday and it has been announced that the script for Ghostbusters 3 will be “tweaked”. Fuck this movie. It has been two days since Ramis passed. Like we need a statement on the Ghostbusters 3 script? Dick holes.

Entourage

A release date has been set for the movie. The gang will be back to hug it out on June 12, 2015.

The Stand

Josh Boone is close to signing on to write and direct the adaptation of the Stephen King classic. It will be a “single R-rated movie that will be faithful to the book”. If this is true, the movie will run 4 hours 47 minutes.

Godzilla

Empire has the first full-on frontal shot of the giant lizard on their new cover. It looks like Godzilla. This movie looks to mind wipe the terror of 1998 and Come With Me.

TV

Fargo

Here is a trailer for the FX show that stars Martin Freeman, Colin Hanks and Oliver Platt. It is a retelling of the Coen Bros. 1996 movie which is one of the best films ever made. Be excited.

http://youtu.be/uj5LRr2Zzy4

Daredevil

Marvel is receiving a tax incentive to film all four of their Netflix shows (Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, Iron Fist) in New York City. Hell’s Kitchen, here we come.

Being Human

SyFy has cancelled the show with Jimmy Olsen and Starkiller. People are upset. I never watched it but we should know by now SyFy loves cancelling shows that people like.

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Required viewing for today is Paul Rudd taking on Jimmy Fallon in a lip-synching contest. Is there anything Ant-Man can not do?

http://youtu.be/4LvMeYEwWGQ

Books

Game of Thrones

A new paragraph has been made available from George R.R. Martin’s next book in his Song of Ice and Fire series, The Winds of Winter. It involves Tyrion Lannister. No, there is still no hint of a release date. It has only been three years since A Dance with Dragons so don’t expect it too soon.

Somewhere off in the far distance, a dying man was screaming for his mother. “To horse!” a man was yelling in Ghiscari, in the next camp to the north of the Second Sons. “To horse! To horse!” High and shrill, his voice carried a long way in the morning air, far beyond his own encampment. Tyrion knew just enough Ghiscari to understand the words, but the fear in his voice would have been plain in any tongue. I know how he feels.

Games

Wii U

The Wii U has passed the 360 in lifetime sales in Japan. Is this something to be proud of? The 360 has only sold 1.6 million units…in eight years.

LEGO The Hobbit

The game will be released on April 8th. It covers the first two movies because…because. Hell if I know.

Fable III

Peter Molyneux says that Fable III was a “trainwreck”. That probably is why I completed Fable II four times and barely finished III once.

Mario Kart

They are making actual Mario Karts that kids can drive, further proving that your childhood sucked while your kids get all the good stuff.

February 26, 2014
This One Time, On The Internet- February 25, 2014

Our new feature will give you the quick hits from the world of the interwebs in movies, games, TV, ballroom dancing, lighting fixtures, whatever catches our eye.

Movies

Star Wars Episode VII

There are reports from multiple sites and sources that both Benedict Cumberbatch AND Gary Oldman are set for the next Star Wars directed by J.J. Abrams. If this is true, the force is strong with this movie. As long as the name Hayden Christensen is nowhere to be found.

The Amazing Spider-Man 3

Marc Webb will come back to direct the third (sixth) Spider-Man movie. They will be wasting no time. It is planned for release on June 10, 2016.

Dredd 2

While in Germany at a Star Trek convention, Karl Urban said that conversations had started with Lionsgate and writer Alex Garland about a follow-up to 2012’s amazing Dredd. The film bombed at the box office but since has picked up a lot of ground in DVD and Blu-Ray sales.

Indiana Jones

It looks like Harrison Ford is on his way to donning his whip and fedora two more times. The price for getting him back to do Star Wars may have been a commitment by Disney (who bought the rights to Indy as well) to make two more Dr. Jones tales. What will they do about Indy’s kid since Shia is not famous anymore (his words, not mine)?

Console Wars

Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg are keeping busy with their work to bring Preacher to AMC and now they are wanting to make a film version of Blake Harris’ Console Wars which tells of Nintendo and Sega’s fight for supremacy in the 90’s.

Independence Day 2

Will Smith has officially said no to the sequel because he is too busy riding the wave of money made by After Earth last year. He won’t be in the sequel to the one sci-fi movie people want to see him in but he will make garbage with Shyamalan?

TV

Heroes

Did you hear the big news? NBC is pulling a 24 and bringing back Heroes for a 13 episode mini-series in 2015. The run will feature all-new characters although they say that some people from the original run may return. They were doing so well until they said that.

http://youtu.be/xXUjpHHfTLY

Games

Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes

The next-gen version of the prequel to The Phantom Pain has been dropped in price by 25% to $29.99. Likewise, I am now 25% more likely to buy the game.

Titanfall

The shooter will require up to 40GB of space on your Xbox One. Damn next-gen, you take up space.

World of Warcraft

If you want more than one of your WOW characters to level up to 90 it is going to cost you. The new expansion, Warlords of Draenor, will allow you to level one character up to 90 but other characters will run you $60. For a game that has been taking $15 a month from around ten million people for a decade, that’s harsh.

February 25, 2014
Review Roundup: Thief

Garrett is back, making his stealthy debut on next-gen consoles. When the first gameplay was shown last year, many called it a Dishonored clone which meant that they had never played the original Thief which Dishonored borrowed heavily from.

Now Thief is back to claim its spot as the premier stealth title on the market. What do the first reviews say about Garrett’s return?

It seems he may have gotten caught with his hands in people’s pockets.

IGN– 6.8/10

“Some of the campaign missions that follow the bland, supernatural-driven story take you to distinctive locations, like a colorful brothel and a genuinely creepy asylum. But too often the level design is claustrophobic and doesn’t leave much room to maneuver. They do have branching paths, and a handful of interesting puzzles, at least.”

Kotaku– NO

“The City has more dead-ends than it has escape routes. It’s constantly patrolled by dangerous guards, but if they spot you, whatever chase ensues will likely be brief, ending either with Garrett cornered or with the player taking advantage of one of several ridiculous ways to exploit enemies’ shonky artificial intelligence. For example, you can begin to jimmy open a window and guards will immediately stop chasing you, even if they were right on your heels. Curses, he got away!”

Polygon– 6/10

“Too many enemies, too-small corridors and too finicky response from Garrett stifles the sense of exploration that Eidos Montreal pays lip service to early on. Gear teases the potential for experimentation and variability in approach, but is depressingly underutilized. Example: rope arrows can only be fired at a few specific points throughout the game, and other tools often feel superfluous or wasted.”

Game Informer– 8/10

“None of Garrett’s capers feel like retreads of other missions. In one moment, I was sneaking through a mansion’s courtyard, diving for cover before bursts of lightning illuminated the shadows, and in the next I was barreling through a burning section of the city, dodging flames and falling girders. One heart-pounding mission had me exploring a haunted asylum in a sequence that reminded me more of survival horror games like Amnesia: The Dark Descent than a traditional stealth mission.”

Destructoid– 7.5/10

“One of the best parts of the game is the ability to completely customize the difficulty. You can do things like disable manual saves, disabling Focus powers entirely, allow stealth takedowns only, or eliminate the ability to takeout enemies at all. There’s also extended options like an Iron Man mode, where you’re required to beat the game in one life without saves. It’s insane how many options there are, and gamers who are looking for a challenge will find it with Thief.”

Eurogamer– 6/10

“Indeed, Thief is a frustrating game as much as it is a disappointing one. There are glimmers of what could have been: the exquisite concept art used in the loading screens shows the care and attention that’s gone into conceptualising this dim-lit world; the cloying density of the city – a higgledy-piggledy mess of housing built on housing – has a marvellous sense of place, and many of the optional missions in this hub area, in which you have to briefly break into lofts and cellars, are interesting.”

February 24, 2014
South Park: The Stick Of Truth Offers 13 Minutes Of Gameplay. This Is Why Games Are Made

Is it weird that if you miss turn-based RPG games that your best bet may be South Park: The Stick of Truth?

See what awaits you with 13 minutes of gameplay that shows how your character is introduced to Cartman, Butters and others. You also get to see how the game’s controls work with a battle wheel that is used for attacks and specials. It feels like the most fu**ed up game of Mario RPG ever.

South Park: The Stick of Truth will (finally) release on March 4th.

February 14, 2014
The Koopalings Take Over Mario Kart 8

A new Mario Kart 8 trailer has been released and it is full of new footage showing the diversity of the tracks in the game. The Koopalings are introduced and are as annoying as in any other Mario game.

Get ready for shells in asses. Mario Kart 8 releases in May.

February 14, 2014
MLB 14 Releasing In May For PS4. Screenshots Make Your Eyes Bleed

Sony San Diego has announced that MLB 14 will release on April 1st on PS3 and Vita and see a PS4 release a month later in May. The real kicker here is the new screenshots that were shown from the PS4 version which should be met with proper use of profanity to show just how impressive the first next-gen baseball title looks.

The studio is promising over 50 new features and improvements including “quick counts” which will speed up game completion time by 50%.

Sony San Diego is promising even more looks at the game in the coming weeks but until then stare at these beautiful shots with your eye holes, starting with a comparison of Boston Red Sox first baseman Mike Napoli between the PS3 and PS4. The PS3 has always looked beautiful visually, but when put next to the next-gen version, the gap is clear.

February 13, 2014
Borderlands 2 Releasing This Spring On Vita. Pre-Orders For Bundle Available Now

Ready to take the likes of Salvador and Claptrap on the road? Gearbox has announced that Borderland 2 is coming to the Vita this spring and Sony has followed suit by offering a bundle that includes the new Vita “Slim”, Borderlands 2 and an 8GB memory card for only $199.99.

The game will come with 6 DLC packs already on the card including: Captain Scarlett and Her Pirate’s Booty, Mr. Torgue’s Campaign of Carnage, Psycho Character Class, Mechromancer Character Class, Collector’s Edition Pack and Ultimate Vault Hunter Upgrade Pack 1.

The best part about Borderlands getting a portable release is that it will feature cross-save with your PS3 version.

You can reserve the bundle now on [amazon_link id=”B00HLT0YT0″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Amazon[/amazon_link].

February 12, 2014
How Short Is Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes? Is “Da Fuq?” An Answer?

Photo courtesy gamingbolt.com

The new issue of Game Informer has all kinds of Snake fun with coverage of Metal Gear Solid V, but it is news about the game’s prequel, Ground Zeroes, that is making all the kerfuffle.

BTW- kerfuffle is an actual word. No spell check went off so I had to see for myself.

It seems that the main story of Ground Zeroes took them all of two hours to beat.

Two.

Hours.

Two hours.

Now this was not including any side quests or extra exclusives but can you really imagine them adding much more than an hour or two more to the proceedings?

For a “game” that has a price range of $20-$40 that is low-class hooker territory for 2-4 hours.

I have a feeling this will be included in a “special edition” of MGS V whenever it is released, so I will be waiting until then to play it. Sure, there are plenty of indie games priced around the same for a few hours of content but I, and you, should expect more from a franchise this big.

February 5, 2014
Guy Changes Xbox Gamertag To “Xbox Bing”, Even More Hilarity Ensues

http://youtu.be/uvBwezmeW1M

If something works, keep doing it until they catch on.

Remember a few weeks ago when we posted a video of someone changing their Xbox Live gamertag to the ingenious “Xbox Sign Out”? They are back proving that just because something has hit it big on the internet (the video mentioned above) there is still plenty of pre-teens to be trolled.

Oh, the humanity.

February 2, 2014
Review: Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag

Thank you Assassin’s Creed IV. I thought this franchise was beyond saving but you have shown me that there is life still left in the yearly (ugh) franchise. I had given up hope after Assassin’s Creed 3, which I never got close to finishing for the simple fact it was boring…as…hell. They were working with one of the most fascinating time periods ever and managed to muck it all up.

Not so here!

The team on AC IV have taken the central idea that occupies the mind of anyone that looks for more out of life; “what I wouldn’t give to be a pirate”. Seriously, who has not thought that? If you haven’t then you can start now…

I will wait.

Ships, booty (treasure), swordplay, booty (not treasure), sending people to Davy Jones’ locker. This is the tale of Edward Kenway, a man who leaves his wife to try and make a better life for them only to become one of the greatest pirates (and assassins) of his day. The story begins with Edward killing an assassin and taking his identity. He is a pirate after all. He is then sucked into the familiar war between the Templars and assassins that we all know so well by now in the AC series. I loved the fact that it was introduced in a new way by having Edward weasel his way into it by taking on someone else’s role all while in the search of a great life-changing treasure. One of the many changes that worked.

Soon after, Edward becomes captain of a ship, which he christens the Jackdaw, and you are off to sail around the massive world with an assortment of wonders awaiting you.

You can feel the effect of Far Cry 3 all over this game and not just by the looks of the locale. If the theory that Far Cry and Assassin’s Creed share the same world began on the Rook Islands in Far Cry 3, this idea is only furthered on the open seas of Assassin’s Creed 4. The crafting system has been brought over, albeit in not as big a way. You will go from location to location in search of deer, monkey, jaguar, etc. to further expand your abilities. You also have the ability to craft new outfits on top of the ones you can purchase. There is one that looks like Oliver Queen’s island outfit from Arrow…you know I had to go for it.

The naval battles in AC 3 seemed to be a testing ground for what is the biggest part of your pirate adventure. Sailing the open seas is so damn refreshing that I often found myself setting out in whatever direction just to see what trouble I could get into. The Jackdaw has its own set of upgrades that are required, not suggested, to survive life on the water..

At first it can be daunting to take on ships of a higher caliber but after making the right additions, you will own any ship that comes your way (except the fabled legendary ships). During every battle, when you have weakened an opponent, you have the choice to destroy them or board them and take their supplies. The bigger the ship, the more you must do to take it over. Where a level 17 may have you kill ten crew members, a level 36 Man O’ War will ask you to kill 20 crew and the captain as well as make your way to the top of the enemies mast and cut their flag free.

Combat has been made much more simple and has a certain Arkham series feel to it. It is your basic block and counter but I never felt overwhelmed when surrounded by enemies. It will be hard to go back to any previous AC game again after getting used to it.

Thankfully, one of the improved areas in AC IV is its story which is actually pretty easily followed even with all the time jumps, Templar and assassin history and trips to the present day for some first-person Abstergo action. Don’t let that last part scare you off. It is not near as intrusive or mind numbing like the Desmond parts of…well any past AC game. These segments do not last very long and if you get into them you will be given some hints about the possible future of the franchise (wild west AC? Hell yeah!).

The farther you travel into Edward’s story it becomes easy to say that he is the best protagonist this franchise has ever had. He is a fully fleshed out character whose goal is very clear even if his way of getting there is unique. He has more personality than all characters in previous entries combined. Maybe that comes from the freedom of the time period and profession the developers have used here. Either way, I would not mind more adventures with Edward even if we all know his ending.

There is so much more I could touch on about what this game holds. I spent over 40 hours sailing and boozing and assassinating and still have quite a bit to do. Whether it is using the diving bell to search for deep sea treasure, sneaking into enemy territory to loot warehouses for ship supplies or just finding random ships to pillage, you will never be left wanting. AC IV does fall into the traps of previous entries sometimes with way too many follow and eavesdrop missions but it does not change the fact that this is easily the best entry in the entire series. My favorite Assassin’s Creed (II) now, finally, seems obsolete.

That is a good thing. Let’s hope Ubisoft can keep the momentum going forward.

January 30, 2014