Did you know there was a PPV on Sunday? It kind of sneaks up on you when WWE puts everything on cruise control until Royal Rumble or February when WWE Network subscriptions are up for renewal.
Hell in a Cell has always seemed like one of two PPV’s, along with Extreme Rules, that need to change in the TV-PG environment WWE has now. I don’t need blade jobs left and right, but it is hard to put on matches that advertise brutality, but can’t actually show it.
-The Miz vs. Sheamus for the United States Championship
Let’s be honest. I will be watching this match for Damien Mizdow, who has taken what should have been a last resort before being “future endeavored” and made it one of the only entertaining things in WWE. The Miz is better served in his role with a title and a win here will get us a step closer to the eventual Miz vs. Mizdow feud.
Winner- The Miz with the help of his better half.
-Paige vs. AJ for the Divas Championship
You would think I would be tiring of this feud by now. Nope. When these are the only two Divas who can put on good matches on a consistent basis, I have no problem with a third title match. Paige joining Total Divas (NOOOOOOOOOO) tells me all I need to know about this match. Let’s hope Charlotte will make her way to Raw next year to add another piece to the Divas division puzzle that only has two pieces connected.
Winner- AJ by submission that will hopefully be a GIF the next day. For research purposes.
-Rusev vs. Big Show
Rusev seems like he should be way bigger than he is now. WWE has spent a Russian shitload (that is four pallets of vodka) of time on him. He has a winning streak that will probably go to WrestleMania when Cena goes all “WrestleMania VII Hogan” on him. Here we are seven months away and I don’t know how they can keep it up. Where do they take him after this feud?
Winner- In Mother Russia, match wrestles you.
-Nikki vs. Brie
Remember how Brie and Stephanie at Summerslam had the crowd caring? Forget all that. Actually, seems like WWE wants you to forget a lot about Summerslam. Didn’t Cena wrestle? No? Weird. Seems like he did. Loser of this match has to be the winner’s slave for a month or something like that. I fast-forward Raw whenever they are on. They could be wrestling for a chance to be Cena’s sack shaver for all I know.
Winner- Ummm, Nikki.
Loser- Daniel Bryan, for reasons.
-Goldust & Stardust vs. The Usos for the Tag Team Championship
I want to want this match. Kind of hard when they wrestle each other every week on Raw. Wrestling used to have a thing called buildup, where wrestlers would have matches with other people while cutting promos on the wrestlers they were feuding with. Perhaps some match interference would happen, then when came time for the match, you have created the desire to want to watch it. That used to be fun.
Winner- Goldust & Stardust because I am still convinced we will see Gwildor before the Cosmic Key stuff is finished.
-Cesaro vs. Dolph Ziggler in a Two out of Three Falls Match for the Intercontinental Championship
No match preview shot yet because this is announced tonight on Smackdown, thus the snazzy picture. I fully expect this to compete with Ambrose/Rollins for match of the night. Ziggler’s popularity is great to see every week because I know it kills some higher ups. Cesaro will show off his strength and Ziggler will sell everything like only he can. This pick is up in the air for me because I think both guys need the title right now.
Winner- Cesaro by making Ziggler look like a bomb went off in the ring.
-John Cena vs. Randy Orton
I will let Vaas from Far Cry 3 explain my thoughts here.
Winner- John Cena because, why the fuck not?
-Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose
Whether this match goes on last or not, it is the main event in my head. Rollins has been going back and forth with Ambrose since he turned on The Shield in the summer. While Ambrose has one-upped him a few times, he has yet to pick up a win against his former partner. This match should be different. Ambrose hasn’t had his big win yet since The Shield split unlike Rollins and Reigns. It’s coming (not painted on a woman’s pregnant stomach).
Winner- Ambrose hits the double arm DDT (is it still Dirty Deeds?). I will call it the Tittie Drop.
