Author: Scott Simmons

District 9 Director Shows Off His Alien Film Concept Work

Neill Blomkamp made a big splash with his debut film District 9 in 2009. It was nominated for Best Picture in the process. I did not like it as many did, but did think his next release, Elysium, was more my style. His next film, Chappie, releases this March.

The director took to his Instagram to reveal that he was working on a new Alien film, which the studio may or may not have been aware of.

“Was working on this. Don’t think I am anymore. Love it though. #alien #xenomorph”

“They didn’t really even know I was working on it ha”

Alien is my favorite film franchise. I will even defend Alien 3 (bring it) and enjoyed Prometheus even if it wasn’t what everyone expected. After seeing Blomkamp’s concept art, I would give my first born future child to see this come to fruition. Check out the shots.

Looks like Blomkamp was going to act like the events of Alien 3 never happened with the return of Dwayne Hicks.

Weyland-Yutani seems to have got a hold of a derelict ship.

What is this obelisk-type monument in the warehouse?

Ripley finds a cocooned human.

An Alien queen makes her return.

Blomkamp’s desk with xenomorph head. Notice the Master Chief helmet possibly left over from his work on the Halo film.

The most interesting shot. Looks like Ripley in a xenomorph headdress. Note suggests it is actually the helmet of the space jockeys from the original Alien.

January 2, 2015
WWE Raw Review (In Memes) 12/29/14

December 30, 2014
I, Frankenstein Review (From Someone Who Did Not See I, Frankenstein)

When Frankenstein rises from the dead, there is revenge on his mind.

I, Frankenstein stars Sgt. Michael Nantz from Battle: Los Angeles as the title character. He is an undead hero who is here to kick ass and say nothing about bubble gum. When a Columbian drug cartel kills his father, Frank travels to South America to avenge his loss. He gets caught up in a revolution by the citizens who want to be free of the tyrannical control of drug-raged werewolves headed by Benicio del Toro, reprising his roles from Wolf and Escobar at the same time.

The movie really picks up when he joins forces with twins Percy and Mary Shelley to infiltrate the wolves’ compound. There are plenty of nods to action classics like Lionheart, Cyborg, Bloodsport, Kickboxer, Hard Target, Universal Soldier, Timecop and Double Impact. Lots of kicks to faces and groins.

Things get complicated when Frank’s former bride is revealed to be a wolf in disguise. She sides with the cartel to help take down her ex-husband. The citizens start to question Frank’s character when a story about his past comes to light about him killing a girl trying to give him a flower. Frank is able make them believe it was all a mistake and got therapy.

The final showdown is a huge fight between Frank and the town citizens against the wolves who have taken a concentrated dose of a special drug name AbbyNormal.

Get ready for the best Frankenstein vs. drugged up wolf movie ever. You will be blown away.

December 30, 2014
343 Reveals Halo 5 Collector’s Edition…Prices

Are you waiting for Halo: The Master Chief Collection to work? Well, why don’t you go pre-order the collector’s editions for Halo 5: Guardians which definitely contain things. A box with a game, things and stuff.

343 said the three versions of the game will cost between $60 and $250. Here is the breakdown:

$59.99- Halo 5 game with a box, most likely plastic and green.

$99.99- Halo 5 with “new digital content to enhance Spartan combat and exclusive items wrapped in a uniquely designed steel book”. Basically some DLC guns and armor with a tin dust collector.

$249.99- Halo 5 with a two-foot tall Master Chief statue that says twelve sayings and LED lights. Just kidding. That is what I will pay $250 for. Maybe. Here is the official line. Everything in the $100 version with “additional content such as a commemorative numbered statue designed by 343 Industries.”

Maybe 343 should get their current game working before asking gamers to take the cost of a Wii U to pre-order a game a year away.

December 29, 2014
Get Victorian With 15 Minutes Of Gameplay From The Order:1886

Fall 2014 has been a weird gaming period for me. I liked Destiny (while it lasted), lost many hours to Shadow of Mordor then came disappointment. I have not connected with Dragon Age much, Far Cry 4 could not hold a candle to its predecessor and WWE 2K15 has been an utter fart in the wind.

Maybe things can get turned around early next year. Dying Light comes in January and The Order: 1886 in February. If you have wanted to see more actual gameplay instead of cutscenes here is 15 minutes of footage from the zeppelin mission shown at the Playstation Experience. I was expecting Gears of (Victorian) War and I was right. This is what I want.

The Order: 1886 releases on February 20, 2015.

December 17, 2014
WWE Raw Review (In Memes) 12/15/14

December 16, 2014
WWE TLC 2014 Review (In Memes)

December 15, 2014
WWE TLC 2014 Predictions

Get ready for the biggest event WWE has in December. Where the stars of NXT show off their skills….what? This is for TLC? Shit. OK, let’s do it.

New Day vs. Goldust & Stardust

Can it be the old day already? If they are going to turn The New Day heel soon, then I will make it through this. Would much rather have a new Nation. The Dusties will pull the job here to get New Day over. Funny how quickly Gold & Stardust have gone from champs to pre-show…again.

Winner: New Day with the Holy Roller (or whatever Jesus-themed finishing move they have).

Damien Mizdow & The Miz vs. The Usos for the Tag Team Championship

The fact that Damien Sandow has made his stunt double gimmick work is a testament to his ability. The bigger deal is that he is the most over thing on TV right now. I would like to think this will have a big payoff when he splits from Miz. I have been a wrestling fan too long to know they will screw it up. Miz & Mizdow are too good right now for a title change.

Winner- Another Mizdow victory that Miz takes credit for.

Rusev vs. Jack Swagger for the U.S. Championship

If WWE is keeping Rusev undefeated for WrestleMania, we are about to see some repeat feuds. You have already run him through the roster not named Cena or Orton and you still have five months to go. If we saw Swagger lose at Summerslam, why would we believe he has a chance here? Because Rusev broke an old racists leg? Shouldn’t we be happy he did?

Winner- Rusev and anyone who gets up to get something to eat during this match.

Erick Rowan vs. Big Show in a Stairs Match

Two big, lumbering guys in a match with a big, lumbering stipulation. I expect hurricanranas and springboard planchas. By hurricanranas I mean kicks and by planchas I mean punches. Throw some stair spots for some seasoning on this shit sandwich.

Winner- Big Show, who turns face after the match, then heel on Raw. He is face again by Rumble.

Luke Harper vs. Dolph Ziggler in a Ladder Match for the Intercontinental Championship

I am expecting a lot of people to be surprised how good this match is. Not because of Ziggler, but Harper. We know Ziggler can make anything look like a million bucks. I hope they let Harper use this opportunity to show why he is who internet fans think he is.

Winner- Harper with Ziggler taking a bump that he probably shouldn’t.

Kane vs. Ryback in a Chairs Match

The rebuilding of Ryback continues. While he may never get more title shots, he can be a solid #3 or #4 face on Raw. All depends on if WWE can stay consistent with him. I am wondering how much can be done in a match like this with no head shots. My guess is a hell of a lot of “WCW shots to the back”, chokeslam on a chair, Shellshock on a chair. 1,2,3.

Winner- Ryback (pink) eyes himself a victory.

AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella for the Divas Championship

If this is AJ’s last match let’s hope they let her leave with something better than Survivor Series. I will watch this match thinking in my head AJ is leaving, which is more than I can say for the live audience.

Winner- Nikki with Brie’s help while no one wonders why the hell Brie is bad again after a four month fucking buildup to her match with Stephanie to have Nikki turn on her only to have the angle swept under the rug.

Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt in a TLC Match

While I may not like Ambrose and Wyatt feuding, this should be the match of the night. Putting Dean in a TLC match is a good way for the audience to connect with his “unstable” character and have him look strong in a loss. Will he have to win a feud eventually? Yes. He should have beaten Rollins at Hell in a Cell. This doesn’t feel like the end of Ambrose/Wyatt so I think Dean gives as good as he gets and comes up short. WWE needs to be careful, though. If he loses too much, fans will think he looks weak and then you have a problem.

Winner- Bray Wyatt using the rocking chair of doom.

John Cena vs. Seth Rollins in a Tables Match

WWE loves telling fans the ending to their main events before they happen. If this was Rollins vs. Cena in a tables match, I would give Rollins a chance to win. Saying Cena will lose his title shot with Brock if he loses is basically like sending him out there to “fingerpoke of doom” Rollins and win. Rollins will work his ass of and Cena will…be Cena.

Winner- Cena triumphant at the end of a PPV again, reaching Hogan levels of ridiculous.

December 11, 2014
Fight The Feels With The Honest Trailer For The Last Of Us

The future is bleak in The Last of Us. Zombies (sort of), horrific violence, teens using foul language, trying not to cry because of a f***ing giraffe. The guys at Smosh have given us an Honest Trailer that points out some of the game’s flaws, but still knows that it is one of the best games ever made.

Damn giraffe.

December 10, 2014
13 Lines I Still Use From Mystery Science Theater 3000

I was 12 years old when I saw my first episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. It was 2 AM on a Sunday night/Monday morning. I did not have school the next day and was watching what I could of local channels before they went off the air (they used to do that, kids). A show came on with a weird theme song and had a guy talking with two homemade looking robots. Then they watch a movie called Pod People and made fun of it. I laughed for the next two hours and that was it. I was hooked.

Over the last 22 years MST3K has been a staple on any TV I have owned from VHS tapes that were 20 bucks a pop to DVD sets. With that much bad cinema (and funny lines) in my head there were bound to be some that make their way into my everyday life. Here are thirteen lines from the show that have been used on multiple occasions (sometimes daily) since I became a MSTie.

“Waka chi waka” (Mitchell’s theme) from Mitchell (1993)

“This is where the fish lives.” from The Touch of Satan (1998)

http://youtu.be/ZEHV-R-y840

“Trumpy, you can do magic.” from Pod People (1991)

http://youtu.be/sCl2ZNkfnS8

“It’s speedy delivery guy and boy, does he have a package.” from Cave Dwellers (1991)

“It’s the wango, zee tango.” from Cave Dwellers (1991)

“I’m runnin’ down the road, tryin’ to loosen my load. I’ve got Coleman Francis on my mind”. from Red Zone Cuba (1994)

“What’s the word? Thunderbird! What’s the price? 40 twice.” from The Unearthly (1991)

“Silence! Is golden.” from Manos: The Hands of Fate (1993)

http://youtu.be/9AJVZuQuD6M

“Oh, it’s a Goldstar.” from MST3K: The Movie (1996)

“May your forehead grow like the mighty oak.” from MST3K: The Movie (1996)

“Sting, Debbie Reynolds and God.” from Space Mutiny (1997)

“Rowsdower.” from The Final Sacrifice (1998)

http://youtu.be/RUYM3jkcrjg

“Expecting a flood, son?” from What About Juvenile Delinquency (1993)

Do you have any lines from Mystery Science Theater that have permanent residence in your head? Let us know what they are.

December 9, 2014