Author: Scott Simmons

Nintendo’s New 3DS Releasing February 13th

It won’t be very long before you can get your hands on the New 3DS. You can get the new handheld on February 13th for $199. The only colors available will be red and black and it will not come with an AC adapter because…Nintendo. Any old 3DS adapter you have will work, unless you are a new adopter or someone that is buying a new 3DS after a few years of not having one (me), in which case, you will need to add $15 to your total.

There will be a special edition for The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask which you can find on eBay because it is already sold out and people want to use your love of a childhood memory to pay way more than you should for the handheld.

A special New 3DS will come with Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate as a Gamestop exclusive as well with a copy of the game for $229.

There is a smaller New 3DS that is available worldwide. Nintendo decided not to bring it here because everything is bigger in Texas, hamburgers, Red Bull, Merica likes it big. I guess.

January 15, 2015
Goro, Kung Lao & Kitana Lead The Way In New Mortal Kombat X Trailer

Gather the kids around the screen to see the new trailer for Mortal Kombat which has our first footage of Kitana and Kung Lao throwing hats and fans around like they are going out of style.

The trailer ends with a look at Kitana’s fatality that in no way involves someone’s skull cap falling off and ends with a look at Goro, who appears intimidating as hell until you realize that Johnny Cage and Sonya’s daughter will just punch him in the nuts and kick him off a mountain.

Mortal Kombat releases April 14th.

January 14, 2015
Sony Bundling The Last Of Us With PS4’s Again (Permanently?)

Remember when you would open up the box to your new NES and had a copy of Super Mario Bros./Duck Hunt ready to play? Your SNES with Super Mario World? Seems like Sony is going back to the days of that.

The Last of Us bundle that Sony sold over the holidays will be making its way back to stores shelves for an undetermined amount of time. There was no mention of this being a limited time offer. It appears the PS4 will now come bundled with one of the greatest games of all time from now on.

Not bad for $399.

January 13, 2015
WWE Raw Review (In Memes) 1/12/15

January 13, 2015
Scott’s Best And Worst WWE Superstars 2014

2014 started out to be a good year for WWE. You could tell a change was in the air, but just like Bray Wyatt, they know how to screw things up. As much as I complain about the product overall there are bright spots that give me hope that one day we will be ushered into the next generation of sports entertainment. I call it the A.C. (After Cena) era. Because, in all honesty, no one can ever truly get to the top until he decides to go away.

Not out of the title scene, I mean not there.

Sitting at home in his sad, big house with his vapid girlfriend wondering why people reflect on Hogan well, when he used his entire career to hold people down, while Cena was the company man for over a decade and people spew hate at him daily.

Let’s take a look at the five superstars that lit up a lackluster product and the five that make me wish Nitro was still on the air so I can turn to it when they are on television.

Best

5. Daniel Bryan

Leading up to WrestleMania 30, Bryan was on the biggest wave of crowd favor since Stone Cold became the man in the late 90’s. It was truly great to watch his rise to the top and made WWE’s biggest show of the year feel truly special for him and us. Since April, his life has been a shitstorm. Losing his father, vacating his title due to injury and not being able to heal completely to where some are wondering if he will ever be able to compete again. Still, despite all the bad, he got married to Brie Bella and had a night wrestlers only dream of. Nothing can take away his (or our) memories of that night.

Bryan announced he is returning to the Royal Rumble and whether this is real or a work is still in the air. He could return and win or this could be an out to have Lesnar attack him setting up Cena as the savior of our wrestling souls which leads to Bryan really retiring. Wrestling, worse than a bipolar relationship.

4. Dolph Ziggler

Has anyone had more career turnarounds than Ziggler? His entire career has seemed like one big Vince McMahon dollar bet that he can make a man go crazy by almost giving him the ball then pulling a Lucy on Charlie Brown. His world title win a few years ago looked to be the moment when he rose to the top, but a Swagger-induced concussion cut that short. I have never seen anyone punished for getting a serious concussion before. You win again, WWE. Imagine if Peyton Manning had concussion symptoms and instead of sitting him until he was better, they traded him.

2014 was Ziggler’s best year with the company. No, there weren’t any world titles, but he did something that no one has done in almost a decade. He made the Intercontinental Championship mean something. With only one world champion (who shows up occasionally), the IC title is back to being the second most important championship in the company and WWE realized that you need someone that can make fans care about both the performer and the title together. It also doesn’t hurt that Ziggler never takes a day off in the ring, making every match on TV as important as a PPV. The roster may be too crowded for him to be in the world title picture, but he is doing something more important. Bringing a dormant piece of WWE history back to prominence.

3. Sami Zayn

I don’t want Sami Zayn to go to the main roster. Why would I? Is it selfish of me to not want what I am sure is his dream as a performer? Yes, but the track record of NXT guys (sans The Shield and Wyatts) to Raw is about as good as Joss Whedon TV shows. Big E is acting like the church scene from Don’t Be A Menace, Bo Dallas is a more positive Zack Ryder and they want to turn Adrian Neville into GODDAMN MIGHTY MOUSE!

Sami’s 2014 was littered with great matches with Cesaro, Tyler Breeze, Tyson Kidd and Neville. The match with Neville at REvolution was my favorite match of the year. He can entertain in a four minute match the same as he can in a twenty minute one. His promo work leading into his last match with Neville was great and he is the most over, believable superstar WWE has had in a long time. Why would I want him to go to Raw and have them turn into another Evan Bourne?

Do I think Sami has the ability to make it huge on the big show? Hell yes. It is the lazy writers and the current state of WWE’s product I don’t trust. For now, let’s enjoy Sami Zayn, NXT champion in 2015.

2. Damien Mizdow

In the span of a few months Damien Sandow went from a different gimmick every week to the most over guy this side of John Cena. You would think being Miz’s stunt double would be one step away from the dreaded future endeavors bit on WWE.com. Nope. He took his duty as a stunt double and ran with it, more times than not being the most entertaining part of Raw. When he and Miz won the tag team championships it showed how he literally turned shit into gold.

1. Seth Rollins

Seth Rollins. Proof that we “smart” wrestling fans don’t know shit. When The Shield was split up last year we all spouted off that Rollins was a great match guy, but would fall to the Marty Jannetty epidemic that has claimed so many careers. I mean, look at Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns. These were the two Shield guys that had the “it” look.

Guess what smarks? We don’t know shit.

Rollins aligned with The Authority, which was the best possible thing, and had built-in feuds with Rollins and Ambrose ready to go. Throw in the heat with Orton with Rollins’ knack for getting an audience wrapped around his finger with promos and Rollins is the best heel not just in WWE, but in wrestling today. Oh yeah, and he delivers in the ring night after night after night. WWE wants 2015 to be the year of Roman Reigns. I think Seth will have something to say about that.

Worst

5. Kane

Is Kane just an employee like Milton in Office Space? He collects a paycheck, but it’s due to a computer error and he was supposed to be let go three years ago. One week he looks like he running for political office, the next he wears a mask that looks like a t-bone strapped to his face with fake hair. After shows he goes to his desk and looks for his stapler.

4. Roman Reigns

Being here isn’t all Reigns’ fault. I was one of the many who was excited for Reigns post-Shield breakup. He looked like he could one day be “the man”. He still can. Leave it to WWE to push him down the throat of fans so frequently and vigorously that we feel like we spent a bad night in prison.

Batista wasn’t exactly ready in the ring and on the mic when he was given the title at WrestleMania 21, but he learned by being tossed into the fire. Maybe Reigns can do the same. If he can’t, WWE just burned someone who could have been the face of the company before he was ready. There might not be any coming back from that.

3. Adam Rose

Rose didn’t have time to take root in NXT and really see if the character could catch on. He had a catchy theme song and WWE figured they could Fandango him into popularity. Now he is in a months (months!) long feud with a bunny. Remember when Norman Smiley wrestled Ralphus in WCW and you said “man, WWE would never do this”. Welcome to the party, pal. Despite this, I am not a lemon. The former Leo Kruger could still find his place if a heel Rose is handled properly.

2. John Cena

This could easily be seen as an “I hate John Cena” post. I do, for the record, but there is reasoning for him being on here. He won’t go away. Cena has been on top of WWE for longer than Hogan was during his 80’s run. Hogan left the summer after WrestleMania IX, mainly because of the government investigation against Vince, yet the timing was perfect. Hulkamania had run its course (for the first time). It was time for a new look.

John Cena and WWE don’t want this to happen now. They are clinging onto Cena’s reign at the top (a decade!) so tightly they are missing not just the next big thing (whoever that ends up being), but causing a whole generation of superstars to not see what their real worth is. A feud with Cena should elevate a star. It turns out to be poison. Remember how over Bray Wyatt was going into WrestleMania last year? A couple of losses to Cena and a screwy win later, he was an afterthought by Summerslam.

As Matt Fowler said, “ten years is not an accomplishment, it is an assault”.

1. Michael Cole, JBL and Jerry Lawler

With all the facepalming bad things WWE put on TV this year it amazes me how no one seems concerned about how bad commentary is. I have no problem saying this is the worst is has been in the show’s history. That includes the team of Rob Bartlett, Macho Man and Vince. Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan and Mongo (is my thumb in dog’s ass) McMichael had more entertaining banter. I don’t blame Lawler. He works well when he has someone talented to be the counterpoint. His work with Vince and JR are evidence of that. It is JBL and Cole that seem to forget that they are there to engage the viewer with what is happening in the ring. Is there someone giving a promo? Insert quips here and there about whether the heel/face is right/wrong. Is there a match going on? Talk about the feud in its current state and call out the moves as they happen. What they don’t seem to understand is that you can set up other talking points during all of this.

-Wrestler A sure is taking it to Wrestler B

-Yeah, he is taking out all his aggression from what Wrestler C did to him last week. There’s a bulldog!

-Wrestler A with a kickout at two. He is showing some fight out there.

Instead, this is how matches go.

Cole: Go to the WWE App and watch exclusive content during the commercial. If you don’t know how, here is a step by step process.

JBL: MAGGLE! IF YOU DON’T HAVE WWE NETWORK AND ARE PAYING $50 FOR PPV’S YOU ARE RETARDED! MAGGLE!

Cole: Then you hit install on your phone. Goldust hits a move. What a maneuver.

King: On your phone? Install on your phone?

JBL: HOW DID CENA OVERCOME THE ODDS MAGGLE?! EVERYTIME! HE WRESTLES TONIGHT, RIGHT? I’VE GOT SOME BAD NEWS! I LOVE THAT! MAGGLE! MAGGLE!

Cole: The App is free. In case you missed it, here is how to download it. Goldust picks up the victory.

It is like being donkey punched for three hours on Monday nights. Actually, I would feel more appreciated after being donkey punched. When you long for the days of Matt Striker there is something wrong. So, so wrong.

Even TNA is doing something to fix their commentary. That’s right. TNA is actually leading the way in actively trying to fix one of its problems before WWE does. Scary as shit.

P.S. Lawler has been moved to Smackdown with Michael Cole and Booker T. is the third member of the team on Raw. This was announced a few days ago. Will commentary be any better? Take out Lawler’s line from earlier and insert Booker T. saying “shucky ducky quack quack”.

No, it won’t be.

January 12, 2015
WWE Changes Announce Teams For Raw And Smackdown

Raw and Smackdown will be getting new announce teams next week. WWE announced that starting Monday, January 12th Michael Cole, JBL and Booker T. will be the new announce team on Raw. Smackdown will have Cole, Byron Saxton and Jerry “The King” Lawler.

Lawler was hospitalized last week with diverticulitis. I think the move was made for Lawler’s health. He won’t be required to be on a live show and if he misses future Smackdown tapings they have Cole and Saxton to pick up the slack. Plus, does Smackdown even register on WWE’s radar?

What does this all mean? Get ready to hear “shucky ducky quack quack” ten more times than you are used to as JBL yells “MAGGLE! MAGGLE!”.

January 9, 2015
Nerd Rating’s 2015 Gaming Predictions

Scott

1. Starfox and Zelda Wii U will release in 2015.

Nintendo has said that Starfox will be playable at E3 and set for release this year. Zelda is also supposed to release this year, but I think many doubt Nintendo can make good on that. I think they know what situation the Wii U is in and is making 2015 the make or break year for the console. If Starfox and Zelda can not breathe some life into it, then the Wii U is a lost cause.

2. Resident Evil 7 will be announced. Will drop all unnecessary bullshit and be like Resident Evil.

Resident Evil 6 was the best selling of the franchise (no, you stop buying that!) and yet, I think Resident Evil 7 will go back to its roots and try to recapture the feel of the original. Maybe set in a mansion or large facility. Prediction or just one guy’s wild fantasy?

3. Xbox One will drop to $349 for good at E3.

Microsoft won the holiday season by dropping Xbox One to $349 along with some great bundles. The promotion ended on January 3rd and is now back to $399. While having more holiday sales is great, they still are playing catch up with the PS4. Early year sales should reflect the need to keep the price drop in effect. E3 will be a big stage to announce the new price.

4. Batman: Arkham Knight will lead into Rocksteady’s next unannounced game featuring the Justice League.

I know that the Batman: Arkham Knight collector’s edition statue may have spoiled the end of the game, but this is something I have thought would happen for a while now. Rocksteady said they were ending their Batman story with Arkham Knight, they didn’t say anything about what story they were starting

5. Rockstar will announce their next big release. Will be either Red Dead or Bully sequel.

Please be Red Dead. Please be Red Dead. Please be Red Dead. I will give you what you want. Please!

Trey

1. Nintendo

This is the pivotal year for the house that Miyamoto built as far as the home console market is concerned. I love Zelda and Star Fox as much as the next guy, but those two titles are not going to suddenly move millions of systems. I’m not counting them out yet, but if Wii U sales continue to lag and they continue to lose third-party support, I don’t know what can save them.

2. Multiplayer

Whether you loved Destiny or hated it, the fact remains that it did not permanently alter the gaming landscape as planned. In my opinion, it’s because you can’t plan game-changers like Counter-Strike, Halo, and Modern Warfare. We are due for such a game, though, and I think we will see it this year… it’s probably not Battlefield: Hardline, though. Sorry.

3. “Hardcore” Titles

The Souls series has taken a portion of the gaming world by storm in the past five years and spawned numerous poor copy-cats, along with a few genuinely good titles of the same ilk. Both Bloodborne and Deep Down are slated for release this year, but I think we’ll see a new IP in a different genre than action-fantasy that scratches the hardcore itch and gets the attention of the industry.

4. HD Remakes

Square Enix has already announced a PS4 re-release of their PS3 re-release of Final Fantasy X, which isn’t even a year old as I write this. Capcom is bringing DmC and Devil May Cry 4 to next-Gen, but not until after they bring us a new version of the GameCube version of the original PlayStation game Resident Evil. Considering I will buy all of those from Capcom, this trend is here to stay.

5. Game Journalism

Whether you feel the industry is obsolete, corrupt, out-of-touch, pretentious, or just boring, it all boils down to the same thing: The traditional methods of game reporting and reviewing are dying off, replaced by social media, “let’s play” video, and live-streaming. This year, keep an eye out for ridiculous activity from publishers and existing media outlets as they try to stave off the inevitable.

Erich

1. More HD remakes

I think the trend of HD remakes is far from over I expect a Mass Effect trilogy HD bundle, Dead Space trilogy HD, and Bioshock HD

2. An evening of the sales floor

I think that the Xbone and the PS4 will find an even sales number as the One picks up speed in China

3. Big Announcements

Red Dead Revolution, Fallout 4, Gears, (The Gears of War Sequel) Mass Effect 4, and a new Volition game will be announced this year

4. Delays

Kingdom Hearts, Last Guardian, Fable Legends, and Doom will all be delayed into at least 2016

5. The Wii U continues to lag

No matter what anyone says about Smash Bros. Or a new Zelda, I genuinely believe that this poor little console needs to be put out of its misery. Come on Wii 3 the search for Wii 2.

January 8, 2015
Jurassic Parks & Recreation Trailer Already Wins 2015

http://youtu.be/pyuGyq22Ris

I would like to present the award for “The Whole Internet” to the folks behind this trailer which is too much awesome sauce to handle.

We knew these types of mash-ups would happen, but I did not expect to have a clear winner this early.

January 7, 2015
Ant-Man Trailer Proves Michael Douglas Is One Hell Of A Motivational Speaker

No wonder he could convince Catherine Zeta-Jones to sleep with him for multiple years. After listening to that I want to be Ant-Man and I am a 300 pound walking Taco Bell.

Don’t get me wrong, there will always be a hole in my nerd heart for not getting to see Edgar Wright’s version happen, but this trailer has alleviated my concerns some.

Ant-Man releases on July 17th.

January 7, 2015
That’s So 2014: Scott’s Game Of The Year (And More) Extravaganza

Game of the Year

South Park: The Stick of Truth

Look at some of the achievements for this game and you know what to expect: shit your pants during a boss battle, find Jesus while playing as a Jew, fart on 100 animals, join the KKK.

South Park fans would not be surprised by this. The surprising thing is that The Stick of Truth is a great turned-based RPG (where did all of those go?) with a script written by Matt Stone and Trey Parker that rivals the best stuff they have done in 18 years on the show. Great time was taken by Obsidian to ensure that this would look and feel like you were playing an actual episode of South Park including every character imaginable from Al Gore to Scott Malkinson (he has diabetes).

I laughed plenty at The Stick of Truth and then I made my way to the abortion clinic and was attacked by Nazi zombie fetuses who squealed “sieg heil” at me. I had to pause the game while I laughed so hard tears streamed down my face. It was one of those laughs that you only have a certain number of times in your life.

Then, I went to Canada.

South Park: The Stick of Truth is the funniest game ever created. In a world of sci-fi/military super-serious, apocalyptic games, it is a breath of fart-filled, shit-throwing air. I loved every bit of it.

Runners-Up

Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor

While some were disappointed with Peter Jackson’s handling of The Hobbit, few had anything negative to say about Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor. Creating a new franchise in a world beloved by millions was a bold move that paid off big. From the believable inclusions of Gollum and Sauron to the “nemesis system” that redefines how you approach your enemies, Shadow of Mordor made me want to continue after the story was over if only to play the puppet master of orcs. It is the best representation of Tolkien in the medium. It is also the best Assassin’s Creed game of the year.

Skyrim

Skyrim is three years old. I know this. Why is it in contention for Game of the Year? Because this year, after putting over 100 hours into my first character I decided to start fresh from the start with a new race, new abilities and go to places I either never traversed or went to late in my first playthrough. What I got was a wonderful trip down memory lane while having a new feeling of discovery at the same time. Not many things can give you that. Skyrim did.

Biggest Disappointment

WWE 2K15

It would be easier to just let you read my review of this to show you why this was a move back for the franchise in a year fans were expecting new ideas and forward thinking.

This One Time At Wrestling Camp. Scott’s WWE 2K15 Review

Biggest Surprise

Broken Games

Maybe Battlefield 4 was the herald of things to come. With today’s consoles married to the magical online world more and more, developers have taken the opportunity to release games that are not ready to play. Why finish a title when you have a release date to meet and can just patch it until it is fixed? It is a regular slice of gaming life to open your game, put it in your console and have a “day one” patch. Funny how a few years ago, no one (in the console gaming world anyway) hardly knew what a “day one” patch was.

It is simply this: developers (trying to meet publishers release date) could not get everything done during crunch and decided, instead of delaying their game, they would release it and fix it after buyers had already bought it.

No. Bad dog. If you are charging $60 for something, I want a finished product.

Patches do not bother me. If they are for bug fixes and to shore up stability, that is a necessity. But the fact Halo: The Master Chief Collection had to have a 20GB patch containing almost all of the multiplayer when you first put the game in the system is lunacy.

Here is the real enima of it all: even after installing the patch, THE GAME DIDN’T FUCKING WORK! IT IS BARELY WORKING NOW. TWO MONTHS LATER!

This isn’t even getting into detail of missing faces or falling into the world in Assassins Creed: Unity or the fact that DriveClub is just now working. DriveClub was released in October, by the way.

Now there are some who have done the right thing. Batman: Arkham Knight delayed their release eight months. The Witcher 3 was running full-speed into its February release when CD Projekt RED moved the title to May after seeing the carnage of this fall and not wanting their premiere title tarnished by the same thing. Even Battlefield learned its lesson, delaying Hardline to March.

We deserve better as gamers. Most of us have limited resources and have to be careful what we throw our money at. To get home with a game that is not finished is a big “fuck you” to the people who are the lifeblood of the industry. Gamers are the ones who decide what is popular and what is not. We have the ultimate power to say “enough is enough”. Let’s remember that.

January 5, 2015