Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
This match is a big deal. Cesaro won it last year with full fan support and it launched his career into….yeah. Ok, that is the writers fault, but you see where I am going with this. There are those who should win because of the exposure and big moment it will give them. Damien Sandow and Curtis Axel come to mind. There are those that had big pushes and this would keep that going. Ryback comes to mind. Then, there are those who don’t need to win this match, but will because it is what the WWE does. That will be your winner.
Winner- Sheamus returns and fellas everywhere. A great, big Irish “meh” follows.
Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match
Say what you will, I have enjoyed the rotating IC title theft stuff. Oh no, it makes the title actually have time on Raw and look like superstars want to win it. God forbid. Talent wise, this match is ridiculous. Six of the best workers in WWE and that is not a slight to R-Truth. He is no slouch, either. Ziggler and Bryan are the favorites since it looks like they are headed for a feud. Ambrose will do four or more slingshot clotheslines, Harper will hit Swamp Chin Music and Stardust will be there even though he should have a singles match with Goldust. Bryan winning will put the crowd in a good mood since I think this will open the show.
Winner- Daniel Bryan has another Wrestlemania moment, albeit smaller than last years.
AJ & Paige vs. The Bellas
I really wish this was a fatal four-way for the title. It seems like every WrestleMania we always get a Divas tag or a battle royal with no real emphasis on the championship. The way you make fans start caring is to show that you do too. Paige and AJ should get the win, but I am going with Bryan’s other half and Cena’s better half.
Winner- The Bellas let us know we can look, but can’t touch.
Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton
Talk about a match that should feel way bigger. Orton was gone for months selling the ousting* by The Authority due to a few Curb Stomps by Rollins.
*filming a movie
WWE waited to build this by wasting a few weeks of Orton rejoining The Authority which made fans go a bit tepid even though they knew where it was headed. Orton is 4-7 at WrestleMania’s so a win here would be good and make up for him losing to Kane at WrestleMania 28, which I still shake my head at. Rollins loses nothing by the loss since he still is a threat with the Money in the Bank contract.
Winner- Randy Orton punches the ring and hits a Diamond Cutter.
Bray Wyatt vs. The Undertaker
If we were going by selling a feud, Bray Wyatt should be the second man to beat Taker. Despite a few hokey turns, Wyatt has gone above and beyond on the mic which has to be the hardest thing to do week after week when you have an opponent that has not been seen in a year. I still think Brock winning last year was the right call which means that this year Bray is set to lose at Mania again to a big name. Unlike last year, losing to Taker will not be a push killer. Only Cena can pull that off.
Winner- Undertaker makes up for last year (concussion, I know) and gets back in the win column.
John Cena vs. Rusev for the United States Championship
America, fuck yeah. Coming along to save the mother fucking dayeeeyeah. That should be the only sentence. How great would it be for Rusev if he beat Cena? His winning streak would be validated more than ever and it would bring the OMG moment of the night. Sure, he can lose to Cena at Extreme Rules, but no one cares about that years from now. They will remember him beating Cena at WrestleMania.
Like I said, how great would that be?
Winner- John Cena shows Rusev that freedom cost a buck o’ five.
Sting vs. HHH
This is the right match for Sting for his first, hopefully not last, match in WWE. We all want him to face Undertaker, but HHH can work with anyone. Both guys are up there in age, yet the big stage is where they thrive. I expect a slow start that builds to a great final few minutes. I hope they don’t overplay the whole “bat vs. sledgehammer” thing because it makes HHH look like a moron (even by wrestling story standards).
Winner- Sting kicks out of a pedigree, beats his chest, Stinger Splash, Scorpion Death Drop. 1,2,3.
Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
The match that people (including me) have crapped on since the Royal Rumble turns out to be the most unpredictable WrestleMania main event in a while. Brock’s announcement of his re-signing is the best thing WWE could have hoped for. The match has a variety of possibilities opened up now. Will WWE have Reigns win clean? No, that would be damaging to what they have spent the past year doing with Brock’s buildup. Will Brock win clean? Quite possibly. It would only help further his place as an unbeatable monster and help whoever eventually beats him (even Reigns later on). My thinking is that we get a Paul Heyman betrayal and double-turn. Embrace the boos for Reigns and pair him with Heyman who can bring the voice Roman is still lacking. Brock gets a rematch at Summerslam as a face and becomes even bigger than he is now. Hard to imagine, but I think it could happen.
Winner- Roman Reigns woooahhhhs his way to a win, with Heyman’s help.*
*I picked this, yet I do not want it. Full disclosure.
Leave a Reply