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Photo courtesy of comingsoon.net

Do I have to tell you why I love Robert Rodriguez? Mainly because he likes to take the weirdest, drug induced dreams of people like me and make them a beautiful, deadly reality.┬áCase in point of this is the poster above for Machete Kills, the sequel to 2010’s Machete which starred Mexican Chuck Norris and all-around great human being, Danny Trejo.

The next sentence is something I never thought I would ever type because it has remained only a figment of my imagination.

The poster features Sofia Vergara with a bra that has gatling guns attached to the front. Here is how I imagined this pitch going down:

Robert Rodriguez: I have an idea for Machete Kills.

Executive: Alright Robert, shoot.

RR: Remember how in Planet Terror I had Rose McGowan get her leg taken off an we put a gun on it?

Executive: I do!! That was one of the best thing about Grindhouse!!

RR: I’m glad you think so. You know Sofia Vergara right?

Executive: The hot Latina from Modern Family that I wish was my wife instead of the fresh death that I come home to everyday?

RR: Bingo! Well I am going to have her wear a bra with guns on the front so it looks like she is shooting bullets out of her nipples.

Executive:…………………..

RR: You OK? What do you think?

Executive: Sorry, I was too busy touching myself.

 

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