Fat Guy In A Little Singlet- Raw Recap, March 17, 2014

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Photo courtesy WWE
Photo courtesy WWE


Because when I beat Daniel Bryan at WrestleMania, the triple threat match will be Batista vs. Randy Orton vs…me.”

And just like that the main event at WrestleMania scares the shit out of us again.

Yep, we all knew HHH would some way get into all this world title brouhaha like a child that sees something he wants in another kids hand.

Mine! Mine!

I really don’t think we are headed in that direction. This is, most likely, a move to make Bryan’s match with HHH mean more. Because, after last week, when it was announced that Bryan would be in the main event if he beat the COO, it has been thought of as a certainty he is getting there. At least with this new stipulation it adds a bit of doubt into people’s minds.

Side Note: Stephanie McMahon’s fingersĀ are rather bony. I imagine hand jobs from her are a painful affair like the Wicked Witch of the West handling your johnson.


Week after week I am looking forward to the Cena/Wyatt match. Last night was another stellar mic performance as Wyatt was decked out in Cena’s attire talking about his “plastic girlfriend”. I know I say it week after week, but there is no one that can touch him promo-wise right now. The character would fail in anyone else’s hands. It does worry me a bit that, since they are making this all about Cena’s “legacy”, it is almost a guarantee he will be getting the win.

Right now in Wyatt’s career maybe a good showing against Cena is all he needs.

My brain is scattershot this morning (like every morning), so now I will bring up the opening of the show. This was the first interaction between Batista and Randy Orton I have enjoyed since Capt. Skinnyjeans McNavaltattoo came back. HHH being in the mix helped and I can’t deny it is fun having Evolution in the ring a decade later.

Promos are always better when “real life” is mentioned. Orton bringing up no one wanting Batista back or HHH saying he is tired of “Hollywood stars” coming back and thinking they know more about the business than him hit the mark. Anyone else think that was a tiny jab at The Rock?


After last week’s Smackdown it looked like The Shield were beginning a face turn with their attack on Kane. Well, we can file that under “The Shield are faces officially”. You bring in Jerry Lawler, the fan favorite, and have Kane tell them to attack him and things don’t go as planned.

Three cheers for The Shield as good guys!


Of course this throws a big ole monkey wrench in my idea for a triple threat Shield match at WrestleMania. A face turn could work…for a short time. The Shield is one of those groups that works better as heels. It is cool to like them because the fans aren’t supposed to.

I am thinking this could be a short term bit with Ambrose and Rollins turning on Reigns or some kind of variation of that.

The Real Americans have gone from imploding to beating the tag champs in one week. That is some TNA quick-moving shit. Guessing this takes them to a title match before or at WrestleMania where they will lose and do the whole break-up thing where they awkwardly see each other in the hallways and try not to make eye contact before things simmer down and they open a small dialogue of “hey’s” and “how’s it going’s” before having intense make-up sex in a janitor’s closet only to break it off again a few weeks later.

Or maybe that was Scrubs.

The Paley Center For Media's PaleyFest 2014 Honoring "Lost" 10th Anniversary Reunion

Who’s that? That is the kid (man) that played Walt on Lost. Da fuuuuuuuuuq?

I began to wonder if the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal would get put on the WrestleMania pre-show, but with the names filling out the roster there is no way of that happening. Sheamus, Alberto Del Rio, Dolph Ziggler, Big Show, Christian, Mark Henry just to name a few will be in it so I am calling this as a mid-show breather between big matches.

A Goldust/Fandango match normally wouldn’t be news, but did anyone else notice the look of death Goldy gave to Fandango after the match. It looked like he hurt himself right before the finish and did not like how the ending went down. Cody had to actively calm him down in the ring…and Goldust won the match. I would not want to be Fandango when he got backstage.

It looks like AJ’s run as champion is coming to an end soon. Naomi is back from her eye injury with a bedazzled eye patch looking like one of Jean-Pierre Lafitte’s bar wenches. She beat AJ last night then AJ took out her frustrations on Tamina who wasn’t having it.

Anyone else notice how AJ’s push, or TV time even, has gone way down since Punk left. You wouldn’t think WWE would hold grudges just because she is dating him…right?


As we move closer to WrestleMania, does anyone else have growing concerns on if the WWE Network can handle the server load? It has been working fine for me after the first few days of hiccups, but there has not really been an event the size of Mania watched live by millions of people.

Let’s hope this doesn’t become a Halloween Havok moment where the show cuts out during the main event. I don’t think Goldberg or DDP would like that.

For me and mine, we will be having a party and watching on an Xbox 360, yet I will be bringing my PS3 as a backup in case there are problems with the 360 in some way. Still, if there are server issues, it won’t matter what system we have.

What are we going to do? Talk to each other?

Till next week!





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