Fat Guy In A Little Singlet- Raw Recap February 17, 2014

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Courtesy fansided
Courtesy fansided

And with that, Cesaro swung his way into the lives of millions.

OK, truth be told, he has been using the swing for months and it is not even his most impressive one (see: Great Khali), but last night’s match with Cena was one of those star-making moments that you hope the WWE will take notice of.

But we know they won’t.

Sure, Cesaro beat Orton on Smackdown last week and gave Cena what was his best Raw match in over a year but we all know where this is heading. After the Chamber PPV he will be on Raw simply to show off the big swing and have some useless feud with Jack Swagger down the road. Hell, I would be surprised if he was even on the WrestleMania card. That is how the company works. Superstars with natural talents are told not to use them because it doesn’t fit their character or what any one of the higher ups think should be in a match. If my memory serves, that was one of Punk’s original grievances when he was on his way out the door in 2011.



Still, nobody can take anything away from Cesaro, or even Cena, who held his own in that damn fine match. That was the kind of power vs. power display that made you get up on Saturday mornings as a kid, sit down with your bowl of Peanut Butter Captain Crunch and watch wrestling…at least until He-Man came on. I would actually say to go and find it online and give it a watch if you missed it and be amazed at Cesaro’s strength. Seriously, its like he drinks a Red Balls before he goes out there.


Daniel Bryan was given an out for losing at the PPV with his beatdown by Kane after he wrestled Christian, who is a heel now? I know the announcers were selling it as Christian being more aggressive because…wrestling, but he was in full-on 2011 “pissed at the world because he should be champ” mode. So there is that.

Word is that Christian is the latest superstar that is leaving once their contract is up so maybe he can have some fun as a heel before retiring. He is not happy about how he is being used and at the age of 40 he looks to just be going out to pasture when he leaves because God knows he would rather clamp his nuts in a hair iron than go back to TNA.

Roman Reigns took on Mark Henry and while I was not surprised he won, I was surprised that it was so quick. I am of the mind that I don’t want The Shield to go their separate ways (at least now) but I am having fun watching Ambrose slowly delve into madness over Reigns’ ascent. This is a rare situation where all three guys could be huge stars on their own.

BTW- how over is Reigns’ Superman punch and spear?


I won’t be watching the Elimination Chamber PPV this Sunday (at least to my knowledge) because it really is a weak card with the exception of The Shield vs. The Wyatts six-man tag. That, I would pay money to see, but not 50 bucks. I wish WWE would have thrown us a bone and had the PPV be free on WWE Network. But alas, they want one more big PPV payday before telling DirecTV and all the others to go f*** themselves.

I am still a little confused by the booking heading into Sunday with The Wyatts not absolutely squashing Team Mexico. For a team that captivates the audience and will, most likely, win on Sunday, the artists formerly known as Epico & Primo and Hunico Cara got way too much offense.

Raw was working with reverse momentum last night. The show started hot with all six chamber members then stayed up for Daniel Bryan through the Cena/Cesaro match then it was like someone let out a fart in an elevator. Maybe it was the after-effects of an actual great match on Raw and we didn’t know how to react?

It ended with Randy Orton vs. Sheamus and these two do not have the best luck with Raw matches since fans like to chant for Daniel Bryan during their previous two encounters. They didn’t have to worry about that here. They had CM Punk chants. Can’t make this stuff up. Luckily the show ended in a brawl and got the crowd on their feet.

Who can tell me whose brilliant idea it was to take the tag titles off of The Rhodes Brothers and make them sit at a kids table and sell WWE LEGO’s?? For Christ’s sake. Did I laugh? Yeah, because Goldust lends himself well to that kind of skit, but Jesus H., this was the team that beat The Shield for the belts and held them for months and were continually the best thing about Raw tag matches. I understand that The Usos are next in line to hold the user created belts with Spartan heads on them from WWE 12, but it would not have been a bad thing to have a face vs. face match. I would have loved to see The Rhodes and The Usos. Now, we get to see the VKM do their best to keep up with the superkick brothers.


Here is the card for the Elimination Chamber PPV on Sunday:

-Elimination Chamber for the WWE World Heavyweight Title (Cena/Orton/Bryan/Sheamus/Cesaro/Christian)

-The Wyatts vs. The Shield

-The Usos vs. New Age Outlaws for the Tag Team Titles

-Batista vs. Alberto Del Rio

-Big E. vs. Jack Swagger for the Intercontinental Title

-Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil (yes this is on the PPV)

For those wondering The Rhodes Brothers are on the pre-show against Rybaxel. Yet, Titus O’Neil has a PPV match. Reminds me of the time I spent $45 for WCW Sin and had to watch…WCW Sin.

Next week is the big WWE Network kick-off Raw which will be free and should have a whole lot more going on than the PPV on Sunday. Lesnar will be back and the rumors are still strong that Taker and Hogan will be returning. With any luck we should start the full-on push to WrestleMania, and even if Raw sucks, we can all get on the WWE Network after and watch any old ECW PPV we want.

Till next week!



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