Photo courtesy wwe.com
Photo courtesy wwe.com

It’s amazing how much you can relate everything to high school. Take the picture above. You have the douche nozzle that uses his looks to bang all the women, then when they break up, shits in their duffle bag. The football jock who can dress however he wants and is “tough”. Then you have the wildcard. That person that is legit fucking crazy and is most likely to beat someone to death with a pipe in the gym basement.

That’s what Brock Lesnar is: a wildcard.

wildcard

There is a reason they pay Brock all that money. It’s not to talk about diverticulitis awareness. He saved that horrible segment last night between Orton and Batista that had the crowd so excited they chanted “Daniel Bryan”. Granted the masses chanted that most of the night…but not when the bane of Shane Carwin came out.

Brock still has that aura around him that somebody is going to get a shoe up their ass and a Turkey Tom stuffed down their throat when he is in the ring.

Last night’s three-way bitchfest has me thinking more and more that there are three possibilities for WrestleMania: Brock vs. Batista, Brock vs. Batista vs. Orton or a fatal four-way adding in Daniel Bryan.

I know, it is still wishful thinking. After last night it seems that the WWE is relishing in the fact they are dangling Bryan so close to the main event and will jerk him back like they are teaching us a lesson. We are the children and HHH is the horrible father that tells us to touch the stove because it’s not hot, but that bitch is on full heat.

BTW, who absolutely LOVED the way HHH talked to the crowd in the same voice I am sure he uses when his spoiled ass kids want something? I can imagine in the pre-production meaning how it was discussed:

Writers- What if they start chanting for Daniel Bryan.

HHH- Don’t worry. I have handle these little diaper shitters before. I can handle it.

Writers- But sir, these aren’t childr….

HHH- Get in the corner! Time out!

seinfeld

I am not complaining about the show itself. In the realms of recent Raw’s it was a decent episode. The main event was the only match to really get interested in when it all comes down to it. I liked the stipulation for the six-man tag with the winning team going to the Elimination Chamber although I don’t get the Wyatt’s attacking Cena therefore giving him an easy in to the match. Wouldn’t their plan be to thwart Magilla Gorilla from making it in? Logic…the wrestling fans Achilles heel.

The Elimination Chamber now has four official members; Sheamus, Cena, Orton and Bryan with Lesnar being a pretty good bet for #5. Now the mystery begins. Who will be the last entrant? If I am wagering money I would say it will be Bray Wyatt. I don’t know how but it solves a lot of WWE storytelling in one match.

If it ends up being those six that is one LOADED match. I would watch the shit out of that match especially with Lesnar being in his hometown.

If you were looking for more great matches, this was not the night for you. The Miz and Dolph Ziggler had an OK showing in the first ever (?) Battle of Cleveland with the winner getting to have sex with Drew Carey.

Photo courtesy wwe.com
Photo courtesy wwe.com

WILDCARD!!!!

Lesnar destroyed ex-mustache and Black Reign then proceeded to “Big Show” them with a chair. Love him or hate him, he is the only guy on that show that would truly make me shit my pants if he came at me.

A.J. lost ANOTHER match! This time to the other Funkadactyl. The shitty one! Just give us the A.J. vs. Emma match already!

Big congrats to Jake “The Snake” Roberts on his Hall of Fame induction. He should have been in with one of the first two or three classes but he was on a downward spiral then. Now that he has cleaned up his life it is now time to take his place where he belongs. During his heyday there was no better wrestler on the mic or knew how to sell the crowd on mind games and ring psychology.

Jake-Roberts-2

I will cover the rest of the matches quickly.

America is better than Mexico. Don’t get mad, the WWE said it.

Thug life is better than ballroom dancing.

Being related to The Rock is better than being Ryback (obviously).

Mexico is better than Jamaica…or is it West Africa. Hell, I don’t know. Kofi lost.

Going back to the upcoming PPV, the WWE may be doing the fans a “service” by having Daniel Bryan in the match but will the audience accept anything other than a Bryan victory or Brock since it will be in his backyard?

I want to believe the WWE is smarter than we give them credit for. That they are letting all of this fan uprising fester for a huge payoff at WrestleMania 30. I said I want to believe because I agree with one of my good friends who believes they are staying the course, no matter what, only focused on the WWE Network and new television deal.

Unless one of you want to climb a mountain and ask some naked oracle like in 300 we will just sit and wait. As much as I love titties, I am fat and I am not climbing a damn thing.

Oh well, at least I have a new Blacklist to watch.

Until next week!

LEGO BOMB!

LEGO BOMB!!!

 

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *